The soft dripping of water was the only sound that could be heard in the bureau, the pen that just moments before had been scratching against a parchment was silent; and the hand with the quill was resting upon the table. Completely still and motionless.
The owner of the hand was gazing out in the empty room, lost in forbidden thoughts.

I could still hear the shouts, the metallic sounds of swords crossing and the soft cry of my heart. Even now the voices was clear, clear like they never had died; never was lost so long ago.

I could hear the arrogant sneer of a man who believed himself better than the rest.
Hear my own hateful reply to said man, a word of caution.
My brothers' prideful respect for someone who hadn't earned it, at least not to me.

When everything fell apart, I could feel the burning tears that threatened to spill over. But I wouldn't cry, not now. I couldn't after everything that had happened, I had no more tears left to spare over foolish mistakes.

A sound from the roof made me aware of my surroundings and I opened my eyes to the visitor that just entered. It was of course, the one I least wanted to see.

Safety and peace he said, well I wouldn't have that now when he was here. In the middle of my ranting he stands still and listened, waiting for me to finish instead of demanding answer. A new side I haven't seen, and a pleasant one at that. Maybe for once he can do what he's told and do it right this time.

He said he want to redeem himself, said he'd done wrong; and I could do nothing but to agree. He then leaves me alone with my thoughts, with my aching head and an opened soul.

Maybe I can start to believe again, start to hope for a change.

I still couldn't convince my heart that things would change. But as they say, when you stop believing; the miracles happen. And just as that, the next time he stumbles into my Eden he was not the man I had seen grow up for so many years. He had a purpose; he wanted to redeem himself and this time, with an objective. Not an arrogant one but something he actually believed in.

Just with one final change of heart he was ready to bet his whole life on, I was stuck. He had me almost the moment he stepped inside the bureau, but I couldn't let my façade fall. I was still mad at him, still wronged in my heart to forgive him.

But what could I possible do?

Maybe, just maybe I could swallow my pride and confess that I too was wrong… confess that maybe he wasn't the only reason Kadar was now lost, but could I do it?

I wasn't as strong as I wanted to be. Trying to convince everyone that I wasn't a cripple and could do thing on my own; but that wasn't the whole truth, and I knew it.

When I told him, the relief in his eyes lifted a heavy stone from my heart. I could see in his face that a similar feeling had too been eating him up, and now when it was out; we could both breathe freely for the first time in years.

It hurt almost as much to get those words out of me as it had hurt from losing him to the order. To see him crumble under everything that they had piled upon him; every duty, every feeling he couldn't have. I would never admit it out loud; hell I hadn't even admitted it to myself even. But it's just that one thing I couldn't deny any longer.

I'd missed him. Had missed him so fucking much. Like that hole in my heart had shaped itself after him so no one else would fit. Just him, and I kind of knew it. I wanted to reach out to him, tell him without words that everything would be okay. But of course I couldn't, not now.

He explained his plans for me, and I promised that I would be there for him. Help him out in every way I could provide. The smile he gave me was promise I would never break again. I could feel that he believed in me like we did once before. When we watched each other's back no matter what. And I didn't want to violate that like I once had.

We were grown men after all, and it was time to leave our quarrel behind us. To travel new lands and be better people. I could feel that this was the beginning on something big for both of us.

That was, if we survived it.

The End.