Of Mary-Sues and Annoying Writers

HikaruTsubasa

I read KiGaMi's 'KiGaMi's Mary-Sue Parody!' and Cursed Bunny's 'A Guide to Mary-Sues', and I got inspired. So thanks you guys!

Super quick profiles:

Name: Dana Archer (Anna)

Pen-name: NenArcher

OC: Sakana

Name: Roselia Amy Thalisto (R.A.T.)

Pen-name: Beautiful Princess

OC: Faluriel Angelica Twilight Hotaruakari Emeraulde Alice Diamonde (F.A.T.H.E.A.D.)

Disclaimer: I don't own HunterXHunter or Bleach.

One

Mary-Sues are annoying

"Rat! Give me back my laptop, now!" I yelled pounding the door to her room.

"No! And my name's Roselia Amy Thalisto!" called back the annoyingly bubbly blonde.

"The initials spell out R. A. T! Rat! Now gimme my laptop!"

"No! I'm uploading a new chapter of my fanfic! Did you know that Faluriel Angelica Twilight Hotaruakari Emeraulde Alice Diamonde is 1/8 shinigami, 1/5 Quincy, 1/3 Arrancar, and 1/4 Bount?"

I paused. Wasn't she writing a HunterXHunter fic? And how can F.A.T.H.E.A.D. be 1/8 shinigami, 1/5 Quincy, 1/3 Arrancar, and 1/4 Bount? On top of being 1/6 Chimera Ant, 1/2 Kuruta, 1/8 assassin, 1/7 goddess, 1/4 fox demon, 1/10 dragon, 1/9 mermaid, 1/5 fairy, 1/6 neko-musume, 1/3 vampire, 1/8 werewolf, and 1/4 angel. Geez. Gimme a break.

"No, I didn't know that. Now," I took a deep breath. "GIMME BACK MY LAPTOP!" I shrieked at the top of my voice.

"No! I'm writing about how Faluriel Angelica Twilight Hotaruakari Emeraulde Alice Diamonde meets Kurapika for the first time and he realizes that she's his sister! Isn't that cool! But then she gets captured by the Ryodan, and they force her to use her ability to revive the dead to make Uvogin and Pakunoda come to life again! But she tricks them by using her manipulation ability to control the two, then attacking them when they're celebrating-"

BANG.

Oops, I just 'accidentally' kicked the door down. Well, not literally, I just slammed open it really loudly.

Rat screamed with shock. "ANNA! YOU SCARED ME TO DEATH!"

Damn. I hated it when she called me that. "My name, in case you've had an attack of short-term memory loss, is Dana Archer." I snapped, then froze in horror. There, on the wall, was a giant picture of Fathead. Wearing a miniskirt. Fighting Hisoka. Defeating him with a thunderbolt thrown from her hand. She must be 1/7 Pikachu as well- wait.

Nooooooooooo! Hisokaaaaaa! You can't be defeated by such a ridiculous attack! Noooooo!

And then I saw Killua in the background, looking amazed.

Nooooooooooo! Killu-chaaaaaaaan! You can't fall for that stupid Fathead! Nooooooooooo!

"Great pic, huh?" laughed Rat. "I just love Killua's face!"

...Okay, I'll admit that Rat is a great artist. But this picture... was a total waste of talent! A complete, absolute, total waste! I felt like collapsing in tears for the artistic abilities lost on her.

"I think Faluriel Angelica Twilight Hotaruakari Emeraulde Alice Diamonde is so much better than your OC! I mean, Sakana? That means fish! FISH! What kind of person are you, calling your OC by that ridiculous name?"

That's my line! How can you call your OC by that stupidly long name whose initials spell out the word, 'fathead'?

"And her ability? It's so UNimpressive!"

Says the one who somehow managed to give Fathead the most cliched abilities of all time without looking up the internet once!

"She's not even a specialist! I mean, Faluriel Angelica Twilight Hotaruakari Emeraulde Alice Diamonde would beat her easily in a fight!"

My annoyance exploded. "Well excuuuuse me for not making my OC a Super Sue! Now I'll take my laptop back, and I won't let you update until you kill Fathead and create an OC that is, first and foremost, an ordinary human being!"

I marched over to her desk, grabbed my precious Apple MacBook, stomped to the door, and furiously slammed the door shut.

Why, God, WHY, did I get her of all people, as a stepsister!