The Beanstalk
Disclaimer: Do I own in Inuyasha and Co.? Yeah right. In my wildest dreams, perhaps but I usually dream of flying pigs and dancing babies.
Once upon a time there was a little girl called Rin who lived in a nice quaint lair with her guardian, the great demon lord Sesshoumaru and his icky dogsbody, Jaken.
Now, Rin was a cheerful little girl who, when she's not spending her time following her guardian through youkai infested forests and wastelands, liked to pick flowers in the meadows and frolic in the sun.
One day, a terrible problem arose. Rin was hungry. Oh, Rin had been hungry before but usually when that happened, she would just sneak into some melon field at night and ate her fill while Jaken kept watch.
This particular day however, the Lord Sesshoumaru decided that having his charge "steal" food from lowly humans was just - not - dignified, especially for someone as well respected and powerful as himself.
Being a demon Sesshoumaru didn't have any human money and Pal brand dog food was not fit for a little human girl. He pondered for a long while over how he could obtain some money. He thought about getting a job but decided against it as he was a Great Demon Lord and working for a human was even less dignified than Rin "stealing" food. Then he considered getting Rin to go earn her own living but thought better of it also as that would defeat the purpose of him being her guardian. Besides, Rin was too young; it was probably illegal for her to work. There was only one thing left that he could do.
"Rin, I'm afraid we'll have to sell Jaken." He said flatly.
"B-b-but my lord, I've been with you all my life!" stuttered Jaken.
"So?" said Sesshoumaru flatly.
"Couldn't we sell Ah and Un instead? Please Sesshoumaru-sama!" By now Jaken had broken down in tears in the most undignified manner. Sesshoumaru wondered whether his dogsbody had ever affected his reputation.
"But I need Ah and Un to ride on when I need to make a spectacular entrance and Rin is very fond of them too" Replied Sesshoumaru flatly. Rin nodded in agreement. Ah and Un snorted sneeringly at the icky demon.
Jaken cried even louder and started to babble incomprehensibly. Rin took this chance to lead him out of the lair in hopes of finding a buyer.
Now it must be noted that Jaken was short, ugly and not really the sort of guy you would like to take home on Sundays to have tea and cakes with your mother. The likelihood of finding a prospective buyer was even lower than the probability of winning the lottery but as luck would have it, they met a circus troupe.
The Ringmaster was extremely eager to make Jaken part of his freak show. After a bit of haggling Jaken become Cirque de Sengoku's newest attraction and Rin brought home a nice hamper of mince pies and strawberry jam.
Now not too far from Sesshoumaru's lair was a run down little hut, which housed Sesshoumaru's younger half-brother, Inuyasha, and the ever-loveable fox cub, Shippou.
On the particular day that Jaken was sold, the two canines were in the middle of a very heated argument. Apparently they were experiencing a similar problem to Rin's. They were hungry. Or least Inuyasha was.
"Wah, why don't you just go and get some ramen from Kagome?"
"Feh, like you think I haven't tried?"
"So what's the problem?"
"How should I know? That b**** muttered something about trigomtry tests and no more pocket money to buy ramen and then the wench 'sat' me ten times in a row!"
"It's trigonometry, stupid!"
*bonk*
"Waah! I'm telling Kaede and Kagome on you!"
"Heh, you won't be able to."
"....why not?"
"Because you won't be here by the time they get back."
"....why is that?"
"I'm going to sell you off and then I'm going to give the money to Kagome so she could buy me some ramen."
"You can't do that! Kagome will never forgive you. She's gonna 'Sit' you so bad!"
"Feh, I'll live."
And so it was decided that Shippou was to be sold so Inuyasha could have his ramen.
As fate would have it, they came upon the very same circus troupe that Rin sold Jaken to, Cirque de Sengoku. The Ringmaster looked Shippou up and down and was concerned that he might not have the grotesque glory Jaken possessed that attracted so many customers.
But the look of desperation in Inuyasha's eyes made him incredibly nervous. This was a very hungry hanyou. As we all know, hungry hanyous are very dangerous. So the Ringmaster decided to do the intelligent thing and bought Shippou.
Unfortunately, he gave the last hamper to Rin and all he had left was some oddly shaped multicoloured beans.
Inuyasha had never seen their like before and agreed to the price immediately without even haggling.
Needless to say, this made Shippou feel awfully cheap but hey, what can he do? He's only a little fox cub while Inuyasha is a big, strong half-demon that wields an even bigger and stronger sword. Such is life.
The first thing Inuyasha did after obtaining the beans was to jump down the bone-eaters well to the 20th, umm, 21st, umm, no, 20th century (because since Kagome is still a fifteen year old, technically we are still in 1996, the same year the first issue of 'Inuyasha' was published).
'Oi, Kagome, look at what I've got!' Inuyasha smiled proudly as he opened his hand to show the beans.
'Not now Inuyasha.' Kagome didn't even bother to look up from her textbook.
'But just look.'
'Inuyasha, we've been through this before. I have a very important trigonometry test to take and if I don't pass this, I'm practically screwed for the rest of my educational life and if I screw up my educational life, I'll screw up my professional life and by screwing up my professional there's a good chance that I'll screw up my whole life so just go back to the other side and wait for me there!! Or to put it more simply so your miniscule brain can accommodate the meaning, just bugger off and leave me alone cos if you don't I'm am going to say that word so many times that you'll be in no condition to annoy me until 2003. Got that?' she said in one breath.
'But you could.'
'Sitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsit !'
*Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam*
'~bbbbiiiittttttcccccchhhhh~'
Eight hours later Inuyasha had successfully crawled back to Kaede's little hut in the Sengoku jidai. He was in the most terrible of moods. Not only did he not get his ramen, he was hungrier than before and his body felt like it's just been hung upside down and then slammed against a boulder after which it was thrown down a tall cliff before being flattened by a bulldozer.
Worse of all, he traded Shippou for some lousy beans. At least with Shippou there was someone to talk to. The beans wouldn't utter a sound even when threatened with the Tessaiga. He was beginning to miss the little bugger.
'Feh,' he thought to himself and threw the beans out into the yard. Because he no longer had someone to talk to and because he was still very sore from the incident in the 20th Century, he was soon fast asleep and snoring rather loudly.
TBC
Disclaimer: Do I own in Inuyasha and Co.? Yeah right. In my wildest dreams, perhaps but I usually dream of flying pigs and dancing babies.
Once upon a time there was a little girl called Rin who lived in a nice quaint lair with her guardian, the great demon lord Sesshoumaru and his icky dogsbody, Jaken.
Now, Rin was a cheerful little girl who, when she's not spending her time following her guardian through youkai infested forests and wastelands, liked to pick flowers in the meadows and frolic in the sun.
One day, a terrible problem arose. Rin was hungry. Oh, Rin had been hungry before but usually when that happened, she would just sneak into some melon field at night and ate her fill while Jaken kept watch.
This particular day however, the Lord Sesshoumaru decided that having his charge "steal" food from lowly humans was just - not - dignified, especially for someone as well respected and powerful as himself.
Being a demon Sesshoumaru didn't have any human money and Pal brand dog food was not fit for a little human girl. He pondered for a long while over how he could obtain some money. He thought about getting a job but decided against it as he was a Great Demon Lord and working for a human was even less dignified than Rin "stealing" food. Then he considered getting Rin to go earn her own living but thought better of it also as that would defeat the purpose of him being her guardian. Besides, Rin was too young; it was probably illegal for her to work. There was only one thing left that he could do.
"Rin, I'm afraid we'll have to sell Jaken." He said flatly.
"B-b-but my lord, I've been with you all my life!" stuttered Jaken.
"So?" said Sesshoumaru flatly.
"Couldn't we sell Ah and Un instead? Please Sesshoumaru-sama!" By now Jaken had broken down in tears in the most undignified manner. Sesshoumaru wondered whether his dogsbody had ever affected his reputation.
"But I need Ah and Un to ride on when I need to make a spectacular entrance and Rin is very fond of them too" Replied Sesshoumaru flatly. Rin nodded in agreement. Ah and Un snorted sneeringly at the icky demon.
Jaken cried even louder and started to babble incomprehensibly. Rin took this chance to lead him out of the lair in hopes of finding a buyer.
Now it must be noted that Jaken was short, ugly and not really the sort of guy you would like to take home on Sundays to have tea and cakes with your mother. The likelihood of finding a prospective buyer was even lower than the probability of winning the lottery but as luck would have it, they met a circus troupe.
The Ringmaster was extremely eager to make Jaken part of his freak show. After a bit of haggling Jaken become Cirque de Sengoku's newest attraction and Rin brought home a nice hamper of mince pies and strawberry jam.
Now not too far from Sesshoumaru's lair was a run down little hut, which housed Sesshoumaru's younger half-brother, Inuyasha, and the ever-loveable fox cub, Shippou.
On the particular day that Jaken was sold, the two canines were in the middle of a very heated argument. Apparently they were experiencing a similar problem to Rin's. They were hungry. Or least Inuyasha was.
"Wah, why don't you just go and get some ramen from Kagome?"
"Feh, like you think I haven't tried?"
"So what's the problem?"
"How should I know? That b**** muttered something about trigomtry tests and no more pocket money to buy ramen and then the wench 'sat' me ten times in a row!"
"It's trigonometry, stupid!"
*bonk*
"Waah! I'm telling Kaede and Kagome on you!"
"Heh, you won't be able to."
"....why not?"
"Because you won't be here by the time they get back."
"....why is that?"
"I'm going to sell you off and then I'm going to give the money to Kagome so she could buy me some ramen."
"You can't do that! Kagome will never forgive you. She's gonna 'Sit' you so bad!"
"Feh, I'll live."
And so it was decided that Shippou was to be sold so Inuyasha could have his ramen.
As fate would have it, they came upon the very same circus troupe that Rin sold Jaken to, Cirque de Sengoku. The Ringmaster looked Shippou up and down and was concerned that he might not have the grotesque glory Jaken possessed that attracted so many customers.
But the look of desperation in Inuyasha's eyes made him incredibly nervous. This was a very hungry hanyou. As we all know, hungry hanyous are very dangerous. So the Ringmaster decided to do the intelligent thing and bought Shippou.
Unfortunately, he gave the last hamper to Rin and all he had left was some oddly shaped multicoloured beans.
Inuyasha had never seen their like before and agreed to the price immediately without even haggling.
Needless to say, this made Shippou feel awfully cheap but hey, what can he do? He's only a little fox cub while Inuyasha is a big, strong half-demon that wields an even bigger and stronger sword. Such is life.
The first thing Inuyasha did after obtaining the beans was to jump down the bone-eaters well to the 20th, umm, 21st, umm, no, 20th century (because since Kagome is still a fifteen year old, technically we are still in 1996, the same year the first issue of 'Inuyasha' was published).
'Oi, Kagome, look at what I've got!' Inuyasha smiled proudly as he opened his hand to show the beans.
'Not now Inuyasha.' Kagome didn't even bother to look up from her textbook.
'But just look.'
'Inuyasha, we've been through this before. I have a very important trigonometry test to take and if I don't pass this, I'm practically screwed for the rest of my educational life and if I screw up my educational life, I'll screw up my professional life and by screwing up my professional there's a good chance that I'll screw up my whole life so just go back to the other side and wait for me there!! Or to put it more simply so your miniscule brain can accommodate the meaning, just bugger off and leave me alone cos if you don't I'm am going to say that word so many times that you'll be in no condition to annoy me until 2003. Got that?' she said in one breath.
'But you could.'
'Sitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsitsit !'
*Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam* *Bam*
'~bbbbiiiittttttcccccchhhhh~'
Eight hours later Inuyasha had successfully crawled back to Kaede's little hut in the Sengoku jidai. He was in the most terrible of moods. Not only did he not get his ramen, he was hungrier than before and his body felt like it's just been hung upside down and then slammed against a boulder after which it was thrown down a tall cliff before being flattened by a bulldozer.
Worse of all, he traded Shippou for some lousy beans. At least with Shippou there was someone to talk to. The beans wouldn't utter a sound even when threatened with the Tessaiga. He was beginning to miss the little bugger.
'Feh,' he thought to himself and threw the beans out into the yard. Because he no longer had someone to talk to and because he was still very sore from the incident in the 20th Century, he was soon fast asleep and snoring rather loudly.
TBC