In the beginning there were only tears. The girl thought that she would drown the streets of Rome with her tears. Tears and darkness. Her heart felt heavy with the loneliness that had just be known to her. She didn't know where to go. Where to hide. With her arms folded across her face she just sat there in a corner of some forgotten alleyway. Rome had never been as scary before. As unloving.
And yet from out of the darkness there was a hand. A hand missing one finger and two fingertips. A hand upon which scars seemed to make a delicate lace pattern. A hand sounding frightening to most people, but it was a saviour for her. And with the hand came a kind voice. Calling out to her. Trying to comfort her. Stopping her tears.
She took the hand and followed the stranger. In the darkness she could not see his face, but that did not matter. She knew, just knew without any explanation, that she would be safe now. The streets of Rome weren't smothered with her tears anymore. She had found protection. Safety.
Her deformed angel asked her many questions. Where did she live? At mommy's. Where was mommy? Don't know. Isn't mommy worried about you? Mommy didn't wake up today. After that the questions stopped and she just had to follow him. She didn't know where she was going, for she had never been out on the streets. Her life had been lived between the walls of the place she used to call home. Waking up, staring outside the window, seeing mommy leave for work to the room next door, hearing her moan and swear. Everyday was the same and everything was a blur. So she just knew she had to hold this strangers hand tight. For the moment she would let go, she would drown in the streets of Rome.
He led her to a big house. And in the candlelit entry of the home, she saw his face for the first time. She realized that her angel was around a decade older than herself. But yet he had to suffer far worse than she had. His face that probably once had been intensely handsome was now covered in thick scars like those on his hand. And yet she was not scared for he had saved her from drowning.
She doesn't remember much from that night. She knew he led her to a room and gave her bed. She noticed some stares from different angels. Ugly angels, wounded angels, scary angels all such as her saviour. Instinctively she knew she had to pretend to have fallen asleep so she could listen to the conversation her saviour was going to have. A conversation about her.
"I found her on the streets. Her loud crying was annoying the hell out of me." "And what are you planning to do with her? We can't use a toddler walking around. Were you even thinking, Soh? Of course you weren't." "I think her mother was one of the lovely ladies. And wasn't our favourite lovely lady murdered this morning? By your hands Abel?" "Christ. Soh. She wanted money from me and things got nasty. Don't try to make that toddler my responsibility." "She won't be. She will be mine and mine alone." "I hate that look in your eyes and where are you going to raise her? It can't be here." "Momma." "Christ. Soh. You are more deranged than I thought. Momma? You think Momma will take her in?" "For me she will. And it's a girl. Things should be fine." "Christ. Soh. One day you will bring ruin to us all."
She can't remember whether she was pretending or had really fallen asleep when her angels came back to her and picked her up. Gentling holding her in his arms she felt safe once more. The first things that come to mind are words once more. A 'please take care of her'. And a 'Momma you owe me one'. But reality and dreams are mixed within her mind when she is thinking about that one night. That one night that was the beginning of it all.
Maybe that one night she didn't cry because she had lost her mother or because she couldn't find a shelter in the streets of Rome. Maybe she had started crying because somewhere deep down she had known of all the bloodshed and pain that was waiting in the future for her. Maybe her small body had felt the suffering that was coming her way. Maybe that was why the streets of Rome were drowning that single night.
But even up to this day. Between all the clouded memories and lost tears there are some words that still wake up her in the middle of the night. Words she can't escape from no matter how hard she tries. The last words the angel had spoken to her that night. "Don't forget I saved you life today. So you owe me now. Don't you ever forget that. You owe me a debt." And she never did. Never could.