A/N: This will be a short story. You can expect it to have around 3-5 chapters. At least, I'll be sure to finish it.
That's all I have to say.
Heart to Regret
She was only 16 years old. She was too young. She still had many things to do, she still had dreams to make come true, she still had to find love, get married and have children. She still had a life to live. It wasn't fair. She couldn't die. Nobody deserved such a thing. If only people could live their complete life, if only they could all die at an old age, but not everyone had that chance. One thousand hundreds of people died every day. It could be from illness, incident, murder, suicide, old age... And unfortunately, nobody could guess how they would die and from what.
Megurine Luka exhaled deeply. Being a nurse was harder than she thought. She wished she would be ready for that kind of situation, but she wasn't. Her hands were shaking and her throat felt terribly dry. Her heart was even beating from anxiety. Calm down. Take a deep breath. Don't let your emotions get to you. Stay strong and meet with your new patient. Her boss wanted her to take care of her, because he knew how caring and loving she was towards children. But this time was different. The young girl had breast cancer, and she was at her final phase. The tumors had spread through other parts of her body and organs, making it incurable. She was going to die. She couldn't even escape her death. There was nothing they could do anymore. It was unfair. Completely unfair.
Put a smile on your face, introduce yourself and pretend everything is fine.
She took the doorknob and slowly opened the door with a gentle, cracking sound. She then met with big, vibrant teal eyes. The young girl, sitting on the bed, was absolutely breath taking. She looked like a doll. Long twintail, a smooth flawless face, a petite figure and long eyelashes. She stared at her in awe, completely stunned, unable to even utter a word. They looked at each other for a long time before Luka finally decided to break the silence to try and make things less awkward for both of them. "Hello, I'm Megurine Luka. If you can't tell from the uniform, I'm a nurse. I'm here to take care of you." She spoke softly and approached her. She looked pale and tired. It was pitiful. "Hatsune Miku, is it?" She asked with a frown, wanting to make sure she got it right.
The tealette gave her a faint smile and nodded. She seemed a bit shy. "Hi," she replied softly. "...can I say how pretty you are, miss?" She spoke in an exhausted voice, before looking at the window at her right.
Luka was slightly taken aback. She certainly didn't expect this. "Um... thanks. You're very cute yourself..." She answered uncertainly. The girl wasn't sad; she could tell. People of her age would usually pass their time crying. Her eyes weren't even red or swollen. "You can call me Luka. We'll see each other every day from now on, so let's get used to call each other by our first name, alright?" She put a hand on her forehead to make sure she didn't have any fever. It wasn't hot. In fact, it was surprisingly cold.
"Luka is a pretty name." Miku muttered and looked up at her. "Can I ask something?"
The young woman stopped her careful examination and gave her a nod. She should have refused her boss' offer. She knew she would most likely grow attached to her. It was often like that. She liked being around teenagers and children. She liked them. She dreamed to have some.
"They refused to tell me, but what's my estimated time? You probably know it, right? Can you tell me, please?"
Luka felt like we just gave her a stab in the heart. She knew it; she knew how much time she had left. It hurt to think about it. She was so young. She didn't want to tell her, but she had no other choice; she had the right to know, she couldn't refuse it to her. She took a shaky breath. "A few months or...weeks." She admitted and looked at her reactions closely. Her face was expressionless. She didn't even bat an eyelash. Luka didn't understand. Anyone would be terrified; anyone would start crying and beg God for not letting them die.
Instead, Miku heaved a sigh and let out a weak giggle. "It's a shame. All my life, I dreamed of falling in love, but it never once happened. It might sound weird or childish, but my last wish is to fall in love. I want to know that feeling; I want to experience it..." She murmured with a soft smile. "But I guess it won't happen. It's honestly disappointing..."
The pinkette couldn't believe what she was hearing. She wasn't sad because she was going to die, but because she wanted to experience love, because she wanted to know what it was like. Most children would dream about meeting their favorite singer or going at the vacation of their dream, but this girl's wish was simply to fall in love. "Everything is possible. There are charming young men around your age here. Maybe you could meet them and see how things will go." She suggested gently.
"Don't give me false hope. I know it won't happen. Have you already fallen in love before?" She inquired with curiosity in her voice.
Luka was shocked. She certainly didn't expect one of their first conversations to be about love. It was so unusual. "I...had a few relationships, but they were nothing serious. It's not worth telling you about it." She explained to her.
Miku nodded faintly and ran her fingers in her teal hair. "Then, do you believe in love at first sight?" She asked a bit absently. She seemed to be lost in her thoughts.
The young woman slowly shook her head. "I don't think it's possible. Falling in love with someone without knowing them is absurd." She spoke honestly. A lot of people could confuse physical attraction with love, but it clearly wasn't the same thing.
The tealette immediately got angry. Her fists clenched and her eyebrow furrowed. "That's not true! It's possible! I think it only takes eye contact before knowing you belong to that person! You want to get to know them and your heart starts beating like crazy when you talk to them. The simplest touches are electrifying and looking at them is enough to take your breath away. That's how I see it..."
Luka knew love wasn't like in fairy tales, but she certainly didn't want to break her dreams. She smiled at her. "You're romantic, aren't you?" She asked a bit playfully. Romance wasn't as beautiful as people thought. It was also one of the most painful feelings.
Miku chuckled while a light blush formed on her cheeks. She met with the nurse's crystal blue eyes and have her the most charming smile she could make. "I hope to have a boyfriend as romantic as I am!" She exclaimed cheerfully, before lowering her head and biting on her lower lip. "But it really won't happen... I wish it wouldn't just be a dream."
Luka felt upset. It was like a pang in the heart. It seriously hurt. She didn't know that girl yet, but she did feel her pain. There was also something else, a comforting feeling, but she couldn't tell what it was exactly. She should probably change the topic. "Um... How are you feeling, Miku? Does it hurt somewhere? Do you feel sick?" She asked, knowing how important it was to know how her patients were feeling.
"I'm fine. I'm just feeling extremely tired, and my bones hurt a bit, but it's nothing to worry about." The tealette admitted and laid down on her back. "Someone made me took pills a few moments ago, so the pain should be gone soon."
Luka nodded in acknowledgement. At least, at the moment, the pain wasn't so bad, but she knew it would eventually get worse. "I'll listen to your heart now. I'm sorry if it's cold." She whispered and used the stethoscope on her heart, right on her pale skin. She could feel the young girl shudder and wince slightly. Her heart was beating a bit fast, but there wasn't anything abnormal. She looked at her and she finally realized how close their faces were. She could feel the petite girl's breathing tickling her skin. It made her heart skip a beat as a shiver travelled up her spine.
"You're really pretty..." Miku said in a murmur before stretching her arm and caressing her cheek with the tip of her fingers.
Luka immediately stepped back as if she received an electric shock. She looked at her new patient with wide eyes. She didn't quite understand what was going on, but this feeling was more than familiar. She stayed silent and slowly looked away. "I'll...come back tomorrow, alright? My day is over, but someone else will be here for you." She murmured, still a bit shocked. She headed to the door and gave her a motherly smile. "See you tomorrow, Miku." She waved her hand at her. Without waiting for an answer, she opened the door and closed it behind her.
She leaned against the wall and exhaled deeply. She needed to calm down. Her heart was beating hard into her chest and she felt comforting warmth invading her whole body. She didn't exactly know what she was feeling, but being close to her felt almost suffocating, as if it was taking her breath away.
Ah... what's wrong with me. I just met her and yet...
A sudden hand on her shoulder made her jump in surprise. She met with icy blue eyes. A mysterious smirk parted the lips of the woman standing in front of her. It was Lily. She was her best friend. She was also a nurse here. "Lily, what are you doing?" She asked with a frown.
The blonde-haired beauty shrugged and pointed at the door behind her. "That Miku is cute, isn't she? She's totally your type." She stated and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
Luka opened her mouth to pretest, but then closed it after a moment of hesitation. She knew Lily was right. She was her type and she hated herself for having noticed it. She pushed her away. "She's younger than me, Lily, and it's not like anything will happen." She rolled her eyes, not believing that her friend suggested such an appropriate thing.
The tall blonde laughed and playfully pinched one of her buttocks with a grin, which earned a gasp and a glare from her. "Well I've heard of a few patients having crush on you. Our boss even thinks you're too sexy to be a nurse. You're attracting attention. I understand why." She winked at her playfully.
"You do know that most people crushing on me are lonely, old, perverted men? This isn't even funny. The look they're giving me sometimes is seriously creepy." Luka said, arms crossed, as they walked to her car. They finished the job at the same hour today and they both agreed on going at the pinkette's house. "And besides, I'm not interested in love anymore after what happened..." She whispered a bit absently.
"Hun, don't think too much about it. She wasn't even worth it." Lily said, knowing how much the whole thing affected her. Luka's ex-girlfriend kept on telling her that she loved her and yet almost every night she was going to see some guy. She had been seeing both Luka and him at the same time.
The pinkette nodded. She unlocked the doors of her car as they both entered inside. "I...I think I still like her, Lily..." She murmured and started the engine. "I often think about her and thinking too much about what happened hurts me. Love is nothing but great. I want to avoid it as much as possible. I even tend to fall for straight girls. I seriously think I'll stay single all my life."
Lily ruffled her blonde hair, exasperated. "I'm pretty sure you'll find someone good enough for you one day. Just be patient."
Luka sighed. It made her think of her new patient who wanted to experience love. She did believe it was the worst feeling anyone could feel.
"She's a strong girl, isn't she?" Lily suddenly asked with a soft smile, looking at the deformed landscape.
The pink-haired woman knew she was talking about Miku. She really was strong -to the point where it worried her a bit. She would honestly be freaking out if she were to learn she would die in a few months or weeks. "I don't understand her. She should be sad, she should be crying and yet she wasn't even shocked when I told her she doesn't have much time left. I don't get it..."
Lily pursed her lips. "The boss didn't tell you? The poor girl doesn't have an easy life. I don't know the details, but her parents refused to bring her to the hospital. They waited at the last moment, they waited until the cancer became worse. Not only that; she apparently doesn't have friends. Maybe she's not happy with her life, meaning that dying wouldn't even bother her..." She murmured in thought. It was the only reason she could think of.
Luka felt like we just gave her a punch in the stomach that took her breath away. She was completely shocked and upset. It couldn't be true. Why would parents do such a thing? It was so heartless. She was their daughter. It was making her insanely angry. And she couldn't actually believe a girl like her didn't even have any friends. She looked so sweet and she was cute. "I can't believe this..." She whispered, gripping the steering wheel strongly. She didn't know why she felt that mad about it. She didn't even know her. Maybe she was just that caring.
"Calm down, Luka. Honestly you're too caring over people you don't even know." Lily whispered and gave her a reassuring smile. "I think our boss wanted you to take care of her because he knows you would do everything to make her happy before she ends her days. You should try your best to make her last weeks as enjoyable as possible. I think you can do it..."
The pinkette parked her car in her garage and closed her eyes for a few seconds, trying to process the information. "I don't think I can..." She murmured sadly, her breath caught in her throat. It was too much to take in. "But I'll try my best. I'll show her the happiest days she will ever have, but I'm afraid to get attached to her. If I do, it'll make me suffer. I wouldn't want her to leave..." She spoke in a broken voice, tears pricking her eyes. It was just so sad and unfair.
Lily got out of the car and rolled her eyes. "You're way too sentimental, Luka. It's almost pitiful. You're worrying too much. You've always been like this."
The pink-haired woman heaved a sigh. Her friend was right. She was too much of a worrywart, but she couldn't help it. It was how she was. She walked to her house and entered inside with a smirking Lily. The pinkette immediately regretted having brought her here. As expected, she was suddenly pulled into an embrace. "Lily, no. I didn't invite you over for that reason. Please, get off me already." She growled at her.
"Come on, it's been a while since we've last done it." The blonde purred out and traveled hasty kisses on her neck. "I miss having you in my arms, I miss our good sex."
Luka grimaced at the familiar bitter perfume invading her nostrils. She didn't know what her scent was, but she certainly didn't like it, nor did she like the rough kisses on her skin. "Lily, I said we would stop this. Get off before I get angry." She said sternly. "And besides, I'm in my week, so it's out of the question." They weren't even lovers in the first place. They used to do that regularly before, but the pinkette had enough of it.
Lily sighed heavily and pulled away with a bored look on her face. "Fine, I haven't had sex in a while. I'm starting to get frustrated." She grumbled and comfortably sat on the sofa, her legs on the table.
Luka didn't even know why she was her best friend. She was so inappropriate, impolite and perverted. "You have a girlfriend, Lily." She reminded her and went into the kitchen, taking a glass of water.
"You mean Gumi? Nah I broke up with her." She replied neutrally and stretched her arms. "She refused to have sex."
The pinkette almost chocked on her water when she heard the news. She couldn't believe it. "You broke up with her only for that reason!? Lily, for God's sake! Gumi really loved you! She was always talking to me about you with a happy grin on her face. You're such a jerk! You're worse than a guy!" She exclaimed angrily. The whole thing was almost giving her a migraine. "I'm going to sleep. I'm tired. And no, you're not sleeping on the same bed as I. Stay on the sofa." She ordered her as she could her some chuckles from her. She really hated her behavior sometimes. It was making her sick. It was one of the reasons why she rejected her when she confessed to her some years ago. She wasn't her type. She was too crude.
She entered her large bedroom. Everything was clean and refined. She removed her clothes and slipped under her silk covers. She was always sleeping in her underwear. She found it more comfortable. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Tomorrow, she was going to see Miku again. She didn't know how to act around her. It made her a bit anxious. It'll be fine... She probably only needs someone to be by her side and I'll make sure to be there for her... She would try to make her go outside to do all sort of activities with her. She would be the mother she never had, she would be the friend she can trust and have fun with... She would give her what she never had. She fell asleep with these thoughts in her mind.
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
Luka took herself a black coffee in the nurses' room. It tasted bitter, but she liked it like that. She nearly didn't get any sleep last time. She had kept on thinking about Miku and her situation. It was always in her mind. She felt really upset about it. After gulping down the hot liquid, she quickly went into the room the tealette was resting in. She opened the door with a smile, but it soon disappeared when she saw in which state Miku was; she was covered in sweat and her breathing seemed rough and difficult. She didn't need to touch her forehead to know she had a high fever. She rushed to her side and touched her skin. It was burning.
"Good morning, Luka..." Miku murmured weakly with a soft smile. Just opening her mouth to speak seemed to make her suffer. "You're as pretty as yesterday..."
The pinkette would have been surprised about the comment, especially at such a moment, but she felt so panicked that she couldn't even react to it. "If you weren't feeling well, then why didn't you call for someone!?" She shouted angrily at her. She wasn't thinking much about what she was saying.
The tealette's eyes widened in shock as she heard the tone she used. Uncomfortable, she averted her gaze away from her. "I...I just didn't want to bother anyone..." She breathed out with difficulty.
Luka calmed down a bit, realizing that she shouldn't have shouted at her like that. It just got her worried. "I'm sorry for having raised my voice..." She whispered softly. "You don't have to worry about bothering someone. Nurses are here to take care of you. You just have to press the red button next to your bed and someone will come." She explained to her, showing it to her. "Now open your mouth. I have to take your temperature."
Miku obeyed as Luka gently put the thermometer in her mouth, brushing her lips by accident while doing so. They were so soft despite them being dry. A mysterious shudder went though her body. She tried ignoring it and waited for the medical object to make a sound. When it did, she took it and looked at the result; 39.8 C. It was a high fever. She needed pills now. It needed to be healed as soon as possible, but first she had to know her symptoms. "Miku, how are you feeling? Do you have hallucinations? Do you feel confused? Do you have convulsions?" She asked quickly.
The tealette slowly shook her head. "I don't... I'm really thirsty though..." She whimpered. It really looked like she was suffering. "But I'm fine..."
Luka nodded and turned her back to her, ready to go search for what she needed. "You're probably dehydrated. I'll go search for a big glass of water and some pills." She spoke and started walking away, but a warm hand suddenly gripped her arm.
"W-Wait... don't leave me..."
The young woman was slightly taken aback. She certainly didn't expect this. She looked at her with a soft smile. "Don't worry, I'll be right back. Your fever needs to be healed immediately. It's dangerous at this point." She stated seriously and quickly searched for what she needed. It looked like she would have to keep a close eye on the tealette; she didn't seem to want to be taken care of and she was pretty sure she was feeling lonely.
When she had everything, she hastily came back to her room and gave her the glass of water and the pills, which she gulped down immediately. "Thanks, Luka..." She smiled softly at her and slowly sat down.
Luka didn't let her. She gently made her lay down again. "You have to rest. You're not in a state to be moving around." She murmured and examined her closely. She really was her type; noticeable hips, petite figure, small breasts. She was so delicate. She hated herself for having noticed how pretty she was. She cleared her dry throat. She had to change her mind. "So? How about you tell me more about yourself, Miku?" She asked, meeting with her vibrant teal eyes. It was always important to know more about her patients. She also felt strong curiosity burning her stomach. She wanted to know. She wanted to know what she liked, what she wanted to be in the future -or more like she would have liked to be.
"Let me ask you about yourself first! How old are you?" Miku tilted her head to one side.
"I'm twenty. Surprising, right? Some people think I'm too young to be a nurse."
"Then, that means we only have four years of difference!" The tealette exclaimed with excitement in her voice. "I thought for sure that you were older. Not that you look old or anything like that!"
Luka gave her a loving smile. She was so adorable and sweet. She had a hard time believing she didn't have any friends. "Do you have any interests, Miku?" She murmured, sitting down on the bed next to her.
"I like romance, but most of all I like singing. I've always dreamed to be a singer, but I don't think I'm good enough..." The tealette chuckled. "But nobody heard me before, so I can't tell if other people would like it."
Luka was pleasantly surprised to hear that. She also sang a bit when she had time for herself. They at least had something in common. "I would like to hear you sing, then."
Miku blinked in surprise and immediately shook her head. "N-No way, it would be too embarrassing." She whispered a bit shyly.
They both stayed silent for a while, before Luka suddenly took her hands in hers and looked straight into her eyes. "I'll make you happy. I'll make sure you live the happiest moments of your life." She spoke suddenly and seriously. She didn't know what just got into her, but she wanted her to understand that she would be here for her.
Miku looked down and stayed silent for a moment. "...sure..." She answered unenthusiastically. She didn't really seem pleased about the idea.
Luka bit on her lower lip. She didn't understand; why did she suddenly look so sad?But it was okay; even if she knew she was going to suffer, she was going to take care of Miku as much as possible.
A/N: I'm pretty pumped up about writing this story!
Review please? They're much appreciated!