Disclaimer:

I do not own Artemis Fowl, Harry Potter or Star Wars

Chapter One: Sticky Date Pudding

Artemis Fowl, fourteen year old Irish genius, was sitting in his study at Fowl Manor. After his major change from criminal genius to trying to use his genius for good he was a much nicer person.

Artemis was pale and had dark, raven hair and one blue eye and one hazel eye. Holly Short, his best friend was sitting beside him. She was one metre tall, had an Auburn crew cut, pointed ears and had one blue eye and one hazel eye. The reason- she was an elf. Artemis and Holly had swopped one eye each in the time stream coming home from the first of two of their time travelling adventures and that wasn't the only thing, Artemis had picked up some magic, and used it and they had been three years late meaning that Artemis should be seventeen not fourteen. They had had about six adventures by this time and they were both finding it hard to keep track.

"Ah, here we are. What do you think Hol?" asked Artemis. He held up his latest invention, a computer. The computer was about the same size as a pen and had a projected screen and a virtual keyboard (a V-board)

"It looks great Arty," said Holly slyly. When Artemis changed she became slightly attracted to him and used his pet name when ever she spoke to him. She had even kissed him once but they had decided to put the past in the past where it should be.

"Foaly would be jealous." She said.

Artemis grinned at her. "Don't go that far, Holly, Foaly is the best inventor above and below ground." He said. Foaly was technical inventor for the Lower Elements Police (The LEP) The Police Force of the fairy cities. As Fairies (The People) live in underground cities it is often called The Lower Elements which explains the name of their police force.

"If it was Foaly wouldn't admit it." Grinned Holly, Foaly was a paranoid centaur who enjoyed boasting about his inventions.

"Yeah." agreed Artemis.

All of a sudden Beckett, Artemis' younger brother burst into the study. He stopped and stared at Holly. He had never seen any of Artemis' fairy friends; actually he and Myles his twin hadn't seen any of Artemis' friends but considering that his only friends were within the People they were often kept secret.

"Hi Artemis," Said Beckett, "Is this your friend?" Artemis looked at Holly, this was the first time that Holly had come to see Artemis for leisure her commander had let her off for a week after some hard work.

"Beckett, this is Holly, my friend, she lives in a city called Haven." This was safe enough; Beckett didn't know that Haven was an underground city where The People lived. The other main underground city in Europe was Atlantis.

"She has pointed ears," Pointed out Beckett, "She's a fairy."

"No, she's not, she's dressed up." Said Artemis quickly avoiding his glance, lying had started making him feel as uncomfortable as any nice person should, he glanced at Holly, making sure that he was making the right decision in saying that, she looked at him encouragingly. No humans but Artemis, Butler his bodyguard, his mother (Who had made him tell her everything when she found out) and another child genius called Minerva knew about The People.

"No she's not," said Beckett "I want you to take of the pointy bits then." He demanded. Usually Artemis would have had to make up some excuse but he knew a thing or two about hiding points.

He grabbed two plaster looking things from his desk, these were called Nu-skin patches and they changed to the colour of their surroundings so in some cases made things invisible.

They were usually used as plasters to hide cuts and grazes but in Artemis' time they hadn't served as plasters at all, he had done this trick once before in a more dangerous situation making a group of extinctionists believe that what they were about to kill was indeed a child and not a fairy that would be a danger to the human race.

Artemis fiddled with one of them hiding it from Beckett forming into a sort of cone shape while doing this he had covered Holly's ear with the other one making it completely invisible. The guinea pig was not looking happy. Artemis showed Beckett the cone then did it all backwards pretending to put the cone back on her ear. Soon the Nu-skins were safely hidden in his pocket and Beckett was looking impressed. He shrugged and started to walk back out the door, he stopped in the doorway turning to Artemis with an evil grin on his face.

"Is she your girlfriend then?" He asked grinning.

"Er…" Said Artemis turning to Holly he found her blushing he blushed as well turning back to face Beckett who was looking smug.

"ARTEMIS HAS A GIRLFRIEND!" yelled Beckett loud enough for the whole manor to hear. He ran off to tell Myles. Artemis and Holly sat in silence for a few minutes. Artemis went on with his computer; he was still pink with embarrassment.

"Great," said Artemis after a long awkward silence, "just what we needed. Now everyone in the house thinks that you are my girlfriend. What will Butler say?" He didn't have to wait long, the giant Eurasian had come into the room.

"What am I going to say?" He asked casually, though it was obvious that he knew very well what was going on. "Hi Holly" He added.

"Um. Hi. Did you hear what the twins were yelling?" asked Holly, Butler nodded grinning. Holly's pink face had gone a maroon colour.

"What made them say that?" asked Butler turning to Artemis who had gone scarlet.

"Well," started Artemis after a long awkward pause "he thinks that any girl with a boy is a match made in heaven, I suppose." He looked down when he finished. Butler hadn't been told about 'the kiss' as they called it. Suddenly Holly burst out.

"I kissed him!" she blurted. Artemis stared at her, Holly was always the one who never wanted to say anything about it and went red whenever it was mentioned and here she was saying it straight out to Butler. Butler stared at them.

"You, er kissed?" he asked astounded. That didn't sound like the Artemis that he knew and he had know him Artemis' whole life.

"Yes, yes we did." Said Artemis, he was purple with embarrassment by this time. Butler was looking even more astounded.

"I then blackmailed her but she forgave me," said Artemis, it had been a horrible experience; he had forgotten how stone like and cold Holly could be with people she didn't like.

"Arty, you know that I forgave you ages ago, when you connected me with Julius." A single tear ran down her cheek, Julius Root was her old commander for the LEP, he was killed in action. Holly was hit especially hard because she was then accused of murdering him. Artemis put his arm round the upset elf.

"So, are you?" asked Butler.

"What?" asked Artemis. He quickly took his arm from around Holly.

"You know, er together." said Butler awkwardly. Artemis looked at Holly, are we? He thought I really like her but I don't think it's anything more than that. Holly smiled at him, he smiled back, and he knew the answer.

"Yes, I think we are." He said reaching out his hand to Holly, she took it. Butler looked awkwardly at them.

"You know, I always liked a good romance. But with you two, I don't know. But don't you dare tell anyone about seeing me watching 'Some Like it Hot' Artemis." He said. Artemis grinned, his bodyguard might be tough on the outside but he's really a softy on the inside. Butler left the room grinning.

Holly's first response was to look at the floor, Artemis didn't bug her to look at him and she appreciated that he respected her opinion, Holly looked at Artemis. She saw something there that she hadn't noticed before. He is actually quite good looking she thought now why didn't I notice that before. Artemis looked at Holly she's really pretty he thought I wonder why I didn't see that long ago. Artemis moved closer to Holly. She had gone pink. Artemis realised how awkward it must be for her. All her life she was brought up to be afraid of humans, and here I am, wanting to be with her. I kidnapped her. He suddenly thought my life has changed dramatically since I met her.

The next moment Artemis had leant forwards and was kissing her. He felt happy. Happier then he had ever felt before in his whole life. He put his arms round Holly embracing her. I never realised that I could do that. He thought my life has always been structured out and I never thought that the grumpy elf that I kidnapped would be the first girl that I ever kissed. Holly was thinking like a captain. He made first move. She thought. This must mean that he likes me. Maybe our ages are closer than we thought. Holly was 80 in fairy years but what they had figured out to be about twenty in human years. Maybe I'm younger; maybe I am his age. I hope we are. She thought.

Artemis felt Holly start to draw her lips from his. He let go of her looking into her face. There is a slight trace of awkwardness thought the Irish genius I wonder if there is anything wrong. He suddenly realised that Holly wasn't looking into his face. She was looking just behind his head.

"Is there anything wrong Hol?" He asked. Holly put her finger to her lips. Artemis turned.

Standing just behind him was a tall teenager. He had blonde hair and was looking dazed.

"Um, hi." said the stranger. Artemis blushed, a deep purple colour. It was awkward enough with out being caught in the act. He thought. Holly had blushed as well.

"Hi," said Artemis after pulling himself together "who are you?"

"I," Said the stranger "am Luke Skywalker, Jedi. Who are you? Where am I? And (with a grin) why were you kissing?" Holly looked awkwardly at Artemis then glared at Luke.

"Um, hi. My name is Holly Short and this is Artemis Fowl you are in his study in his house," Said Holly and then added awkwardly "and people usually, um er kiss because, you know." Luke looked at her in mock encouragement

"Yes?" he asked grinning.

"Because," said Holly and added slowly a scowl forming on her face "we like each other" She went as purple as Artemis but boy if looks could kill. Luke grinned.

"So, Skywalker. What are you doing here?" asked Artemis quickly pulling himself together.

"I don't know." Said Luke, puzzled. "It just happened." Artemis nodded. Obviously there is something seriously wrong here he thought.

"Are you fighting Darth Vader?" asked Artemis grinning. Holly looked confused. Luke stared at him.

"How do you know that I face Darth Vader?" he asked.

"Um, lucky guess." said Artemis feebly. Holly kicked Artemis giving him a questioning look.

"Excuse us a second, Luke" He said dragging Holly into the hallway.

"What was that for?" Artemis asked indignantly.

"You deserved it. Who's Daft Aider anyway?" Holly asked. Artemis laughed forgetting the fact that she had just kicked him for no reason.

"Not Daft Aider but Darth Vader. He and Luke are rivals you know the whole good versus evil thing? It's a series of movies." He said as Holly still looked bewildered. "OK Holly, on our first date we are going to watch the first Star Wars movie." Said Artemis grinning, Holly gave him an annoyed look.

"You know, I didn't think it was your type to go on a date." She said.

"Yeah I suppose we can't just turn up at a cinema and sit down. They may think that I was going out with a five year old." Holly grinned and grabbed his hand pulling him into the study.

A shock was waiting for them. Harry Potter and two of his friends were standing in the study.

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