Disclaimer – I do not own anything from Potterverse, which is all J.K. Rowling's… sadly. The bold letters are lyrics belonging solely to Sarah McLaughlin and company. I am not making any money off this story/use of lyrics.
Warning– Mature readers only please, 18 and up. It is rated M for strong sexual content and language. Not work-safe. You have been warned.
This is a Remus/Hermione story, with a bit of song lyrics… relationship already established… somewhat…. Quite a bit from the last two books magically disappeared for the purpose of this fanfic. And just to make it quite clear: In my mind, Hermione's use of the time-turner aged her at least a year, so it was not an illegal, or immoral, 'relationship'. Don't like it? Why read it? Obviously OOC and AU.
I apologize for any grammatical errors, my boyfriend's BETA patience only goes so far. SS/HG? 'If I really have to….' RL/HG? I'm on my own. Haha. Well, I hope you enjoy this, and review to let me know!
Spend
all your time waiting.
Hermione was lying on her side on her four-poster bed at Grimmauld Place, her soft, curly brown hair falling over her hands, which were holding her face. Her body shook with silent sobs, her legs curling against her chest. The dark clouds in the sky separated for just a moment, causing moonlight to filter in.
Hermione noticed the slight change and sobbed harder, no longer worrying if she was heard. Her hands raked into her hair, and she was trying to resist ripping it out. Her mind was full of horrible thoughts, slowly causing her to go insane. Her heart was breaking with each passing moment that he didn't return. She knew he wouldn't. Why would he?
He didn't need her… because he had someone else. She knew he did… he said so himself. But married? A child? It was too soon… way too soon….
She pulled on the roots of her hair, trying to cause herself enough physical pain to stop the emotions that ran so deep. She loved him with everything she had in her: mind, body, and soul. She knew he didn't love her… he had only used her….
However, here she was, still waiting… always waiting for the day he'd come back to her. But she knew that day would never come.
For that second chance.
It was four o'clock in the morning and Hermione's sobs had ceased, finally draining every ounce of her energy, but not falling asleep. This had been going on for almost a year, and it seemed as though it would not stop anytime soon.
And so the depression sated her mind back to numbness instead of hysteria…. It was almost better that way.
However, tonight was different. That night someone stood outside, listening to her pained cries, her moaning in anguish, and he had cried with her… he had ripped at his hair with her….
He felt deranged and helpless… he couldn't tell her how he felt and he knew it. He was a married man with a child… a child that was not his, and a wife that he never wanted to begin with. But how could he tell her that? How could he betray the one last thing Albus Dumbledore had asked him to do? I want you to protect her, Remus, he had said. I want you to marry Tonks and pretend the child is yours. I trust you to make the right choice because the Dark Lord must not know the child is a Death Eater's.
But why then, a month after the Dark Lord's downfall, was he sitting outside the door of the woman he loved, who was not his 'wife', doing nothing about it? Hadn't his 'wife' made it quite clear that she wanted nothing other than friendship? Had he not wholeheartedly agreed with her? Hadn't his 'wife' just start seeing some Weasley? He wasn't sure though… they rarely saw each other….
For
a break that would make it okay.
He'd had enough.
Remus stood shakily from his place in the hall that he had slid down to when his legs could not hold him any longer, straightening his black shirt and jeans, and opened the door…. He saw Hermione facing away from him, still fully dressed in a white t-shirt and grey sweatpants, curled into a tight ball, her body shaking slightly. Her hair was frizzed and sticking out, just the way he liked it. He closed the door quietly, and stood watching her for what seemed like years… but it was not enough.
He remembered her touch and closed his eyes… her delicate fingers tracing his scars from his head to his toes… her eyes filling with tears at her brave lover.
He opened his eyes as he heard her whimper, ripping him from his past. Now he remembered the hurt he caused her… the pain, the heartbreak…. He couldn't take it anymore….
He walked swiftly to the bed, silent as the night, but paused just before his hand reached her glorious face. He knew he was not worthy of such a woman…. She never told him, but he knew she loved him… she had to of… there's no way he could love her so deeply without her loving him in return….
His hand shook as his fingertips met her cherub cheek, stroking it lightly, tears stinging his eyes as his heart raced…. Then, her perfect caramel eyes fluttered open.
There's always some reason to feel not good enough.
Hermione was ripped out of her mind-numbing exercises. She blinked a few times, gaining her mental balances. As her mind cleared, a new feeling came to her. There was blazing hot electricity running through her. She focused harder, and realized it was starting from her cheek… where his fingers were running over it….
His fingers? On her cheek?
Hermione whipped around, scaring Remus, forcing him to jump back slightly. They locked eyes in the moonlit room, her caramel ones meeting his deep silvery-blue ones.
"Go away," Hermione groaned.
Remus stood there, his hand still reaching out to her. "What?" he asked, shocked.
"I said go away!" she yelled. "Oh my God, I'm losing my bloody mind! Imagining you – him – here!" She moaned as if she were in pain and turned back to her side.
Remus' eyes narrowed as he tried to understand what she said. And then he got it.
"Hermione," he whispered. Hermione tensed noticeably. "I'm… I…."
How the hell did he tell her that he wasn't imaginary? That was a first for him, and he didn't know what to do. He walked back to her and placed his trembling hand on her tense back, right in between her shoulder blades just as she let out a shuttering breath.
"Please look at me," he begged quietly.
"I can't look at something that isn't real," she sobbed.
"Hermione… please," he whispered, tears stinging his eyes. "I'm real, I'm here…. I need you to look at me, touch me, know I'm real."
"But you aren't!" she screamed.
Remus knew this was his doing. He knew it was his fault she was like this… delirious and broken. He knew she felt used… how could she not? He had slept with her for months every time they saw each other… sent letters every day… when next thing she knew, he came to the Burrow, just before The Order went to get Harry from the Dursley's, with Tonks on his arm… claiming that they were married and not more than a few weeks later, pregnant.
Remus wiped this from his memory, and tried to focus again. "Hermione…."
Hermione couldn't process this… it wasn't going away like it normally did…. Could he really be here? No, she reprimanded herself, he would be at home with his wife and child.
"Go away," she repeated shakily. "Go back to your wife and child, Lupin."
Remus cringed at his surname. She hadn't used it in years. "She's not my wife, and Teddy is not my child," he said a bit more harshly then he meant to.
Hermione's head was wheeling with questions, possibilities… confusion. She turned to her back, and sat up. "What?"
Remus shuddered in a breath, staring at her tear stained face. "Albus…." He didn't look from her eyes as he sat on the end of the bed, as far away from her as he could. "Albus asked me to marry her. She was pregnant with a Death Eater's child… I do not know who he is, I didn't want to know, and she never told me. I did as he asked. I married her, I proclaimed the child was mine…. We do not want to be married, we do not love each other, we want nothing to do with each other."
"You're a liar," she whispered.
"What?" he asked, not knowing what else to say.
"She was pregnant after you two got married," she stated, her voice slowly returning to normal.
"No," he mumbled, "we were just lucky enough that the baby was a metamorphic, because they stay in the womb an extra few months, depending… to develop, you know. Albus assumed it would be metamorphic, so was unconcerned, but said if anyone asked, the baby was premature, but fine."
"Why didn't you tell me?" She searched his face, trying to believe he was real with everything she had in her.
"Because I couldn't. Please understand, Hermione, I never wanted to hurt you," he said, pleading for her to understand.
She wanted to believe him… but she didn't know if she could. But then again, it did sound like Albus… and Hermione knew Remus… a brave soldier, willing to do anything for the cause.
And it's hard at the end of the day.
"But why didn't you find someway to tell me? Why wait so long after Voldemort's downfall?" she asked in her shaky voice.
"To answer the first one, I couldn't… just like you couldn't tell me about what you did with Harry and Ron," he whispered. "And I didn't think you'd want me… after all this time…. I hurt you so badly, Hermione. I'll never be able to forgive myself, so I just kept telling myself that you wouldn't either…. I came here tonight to see you… and I heard you crying…. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I just stood against the wall, I couldn't move. I need you to know that I never wanted this," he gestured between them, "to end."
Hermione still couldn't believe what she was hearing. Remus, her Remus, was sitting on the end of her bed, telling her that the child was not his, that he did not want his wife from the beginning, still didn't, and he never wanted to leave her….
"But you're married," she pointed out lamely.
"If you wanted me to leave, you could have just told me," he said, rising from the bed. "I am married, but it won't last for more than another few days, I have a feeling. There was never a fidelity clause in our marriage contract, and she has made no secret of her happiness about it. I'm sorry I came here tonight, Hermione…. I didn't mean to cause you anymore pain."
Hermione saw the tears running down his cheeks, and was shocked. He did care. He did want her. It all came crashing down on her as she watched him walk to the door.
Remus knew it would be like this… he would explain, she would hear him, but not care… not that he could blame her. He scolded himself, remembering her tears. But maybe they weren't for him…. He blinked rapidly as he walked to the door, his heart breaking again, when he heard movement behind him. He didn't want to look back though, didn't want to see her turning away from him again.
His hand wrapped around the doorknob, just as hers wrapped around his other wrist.
"Please," she whispered, "don't leave me again."
I need some distraction.
Remus inhaled a deep breath, and turned to face her. She was a head shorter than he was, and she was looking up to him, with all traces of her tears gone. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
"I'm sorry," she said, putting her hand to his face. "Are you being honest with me? If you're not, just tell me…."
"All of it is the truth," he promised. "I would not lie to you again, Hermione. If I was married for love, I would tell you. If Theodore was mine, I would tell you. But neither is true. I…."
"Tell me," she pleaded when he didn't continue.
Remus shook his head. "I just want to be with you."
Hermione smiled… genuinely smiled… for the first time in a long time. "And I just want to be with you, Remus," she whispered.
His heartbeat increased hearing her beautiful voice whisper his name… it had been too long. "What about Ron?" he asked, suddenly remembering Tonks speaking briefly of them to one of her friends.
"There is no Ron and I... there never was…. I only see you, Remus," she told him honestly. Her hand stroked his warm cheek, memorizing his face. "I missed you."
Remus stared at her, taking in her beautiful face that he pictured everyday. "I missed you, too."
"Remus," she breathed, stepping as close as she could without running into him.
"Yes?"
"Make me forget," she said, smiling again.
"Forget what?" he asked, too taken with her face to comprehend her words.
"Make me forget you ever left," she whispered, not looking away.
Remus suddenly understood. He dropped his head slowly, and was almost to her full lips when he remembered his purpose of coming here to begin with.
"No, wait," he said, raising himself back up. "I have something I need to tell you."
Hermione's face fell, and dropped her hand. She knew it couldn't be that easy. She made to step away from him, but was stopped short. He brought his hands to either side of her face.
"Look at me," he whispered. Her eyes rose to meet his. "I never told you this before… but I love you, Hermione Granger."
Hermione's eyes widened and her mouth fell open in shock. Remus took advantage of this and brought his mouth to hers roughly, needing her as much as she needed him.
The shock wore off the moment his mouth crushed hers. She felt his passion and love for her as he deepened the kiss, his tongue searching her mouth.
Oh,
beautiful release.
Hermione kissed him back with enthusiasm, wrapping her arms around his waist, pulling his body against hers, groaning loudly at the contact. It was probably the wettest, messiest, most erotic kiss they'd ever shared, and both of them were swaying on the spot, wrapped into each other perfectly.
Remus' hands went to her hips, gripping them tightly. Her hands slid up his muscular torso to his handsome face, memorizing it with her fingertips as they kissed passionately. He pulled back from the kiss, gasping for air, placing his forehead against hers.
"Remus," Hermione panted, pulling back more to look in his eyes. "I love you, too."
Remus groaned and brought his lips back to hers again heatedly, crushing her body into his. Her arms went around his neck, holding him to her, never wanting to let him go.
He turned them slightly and pressed her against the door, leaning his hard body into hers. Hermione moaned as his hands flew beneath her shirt, caressing her flat yet soft stomach. She whimpered, and he groaned, when his hands found her full perky breasts, forming his hands around them roughly.
"Remus," she moaned as he pulled back to place hot kisses along her jaw lie. "Please."
"Please, what?" he growled.
Hermione moaned. "I need you," she breathed.
"You have me," he panted. He put her hard little nipples between his fingers and rolled them, causing her to throw her head back and moan loudly. He bit her neck not-so-lightly, growling at her whimpering and panting. His hands raked down her breasts and stomach, back to her hips.
He pressed his body against hers again, letting her feel his large arousal through their clothes… she moaned. "Remus," she panted again, his lips leaving wet kisses along her neck. "I want you."
He chuckled hoarsely. "You have me," he repeated.
"I want you inside me," she moaned, grinding her groin into his.
"Good, Lord," he panted.
He pulled back from her, put his hands underneath her bottom, and lifted her up, her arms and legs wrapping around him, pulling his lips back to hers. She wasted no time in deepening the kiss, their tongues battling fiercely as Remus ground himself into her.
Hermione's wand came out of nowhere, and waved it a few times, silently warding the door, along with a silencing charm. Remus wasn't paying attention, so when everything but his massively tented boxers disappeared from his body, he was a little shocked.
"I said I want you, not I want you to play with me," she muttered against his lips. He growled again.
Memories
seep from my veins.
He ripped her from the wall and stumbled to the bed. Her legs stayed tightly around his hips as he laid her down, forcing him on top of her. Only then did he notice that Hermione wore nothing other then silky black knickers… he made a noise of approval, dropping his lips to her sensitive neck again, nipping and kissing.
"God, Hermione," he breathed, pulling back from her. "You're so wet."
Hermione's face flashed confusion briefly, but then she remembered his super-smelling ability, causing her to blush. She shifted underneath him, rubbing herself against his large erection. She was indeed very wet.
Remus groaned. He slinked his hand underneath her waist and lifted her up a bit, and repositioned them so they were laying long-ways on the bed. When he put her back down, his head instantly fell to her chest, kissing just above her pert breast. Hermione let out a loud moan, raking her hands into his sandy hair, when his open lips dropped to one of her nipples, his tongue lavishing it in quick succession.
Hermione arched her back and cried out as his teeth lightly grazed over her sensitive nipples. He finally released it with a small 'pop'. He kissed and licked his way down her stomach, biting each slightly protruding hipbone with a low growl. Her breathing became erratic as Remus' hands reached up to the silk panties she was wearing. He looked to her face again, her eyes half lidded, full of lust. She panted, looking back into his darkened eyes. She nodded ever so slightly.
Remus held her gaze as he slowly rocked back on heels, taking her panties down her legs as he went. His eyes fluttered closed as her unmasked scent hit him… it smelled just as he remembered… it smelled like… his Hermione….
His eyes opened and Hermione gasped…. They were almost as dark as the night…. She knew this look all too well… the werewolf that he always desperately tried to hide was rearing up inside him, lust-filled and needy. She liked this look.
Remus felt himself losing control, his erection swelling to an uncomfortable size, begging for release. He stood on the bed, Hermione giving him an odd look, but changed to sheer desire as he slipped his boxers over his hips, his large manhood bouncing happily out. He stepped out of them and threw them across the room before falling back to his knees between her legs.
He ran his hands up her legs, remembering the many days and nights they had spent together in this bed, memorizing every last inch of each other…. He smiled. He followed his hands up her thighs, spreading her legs further.
Hermione gripped the bed sheets as his hands neared the place she wanted him to touch… needed him to touch. But he was moving so damn slow.
"Remus!" she cried, shifting her hips. "Please."
He smirked and took one hand from her thigh and placed it over her chestnut curls, running his fingers through the silky hair surrounding her opening. She moaned. His smirk formed into a smile as she thrashed about on the bed when he let his finger fall between her moist folds, running it gently over her swollen pebble.
Her scent became stronger with each stroke, his finger becoming increasingly wet as it stroked over her core. After only seconds, Remus found himself diving, headfirst, into her curls. His tongue instantly found her clit and lapped at it as if it was oxygen, and he was drowning.
Hermione thrashed, screaming incoherently as he pushed two fingers into her, pumping in and out of her tightness with no mercy, his tongue laving her bud of nerves over and over. She felt electricity running through her entire body and building up to explode any second.
"Don't stop, Remus… don't stop!" she cried.
Remus was so turned on by her smell and her taste, that he barely registered what was going to happen. But then her smell changed ever so slightly. He switched tactics, and pulled his fingers from her wetness, only to replace it with his tongue.
His tongue swirled at her entrance, begging for her sweet release. His fingers found her clit again and began rubbing it in quick circles as his tongue plunged into her soaked sleeve.
"Holy shit!" she screamed, feeling his tongue darting in and out of her quickly.
Remus growled as she screamed his name like a mantra, her already tight walls convulsing around his tongue. He had to put his hand on her stomach to keep her from pulling away from him as he licked, sucked, and tongue-fucked her to her orgasm. The electricity that was focused to one point exploded, washing her with immeasurable pleasure. He stayed between her legs, and lapped every last drop of her release, almost coming himself.
With one last swipe at her entrance, he slid up her body, swirling each nipple with his tongue, causing Hermione to come back to earth. His lips found hers quickly and he kissed her passionately. She moaned as she tasted herself along with his unique taste. His hand found her breast again and massaged it roughly. He put a hand between them, but Hermione stopped him.
"No," she panted, breaking the kiss and locking eyes with him. "I know how you like it." She ducked her head to the side and bit his ear, then flicked her tongue to sooth it.
Let me be empty oh and weightless.
She pushed on his scarred shoulders, trying to stay focused on his gorgeous face. He rocked back on his heels as she followed him up, into a sitting position. She bit her lip sexily and slid her legs from either side of him and mimicked his position.
She brought her hand to his face, and ran it down to his neck. Hermione brought her other hand to join her first, trailing them slowly over his scar-spattered chest, letting her nails scrape his nipples… he growled lowly. Her nails ran down his defined stomach to his hipbones.
Remus inhaled sharply as one of her dainty hands wrapped around his swollen shaft. He was bigger than she remembered, her fingers not quite reaching back to her palm. She moved her hand back and forth, watching his face as he threw his head back, letting out a loud moan.
Remus felt himself losing control again, and grabbed her hand. She made to protest, but the words never left those perfect lips as his crashed into them, plunging his tongue into her mouth.
He ripped his lips from hers and dipped his head back to her neck, nipping and sucking the soft skin just below her ear. "Make me remember," he whispered huskily. "It has been so long…. I need to remember."
Hermione almost felt like crying at his pain-filled words. She looked into his deep eyes and smiled. She kissed him again, slowly, passionately, before pulling back again.
She smiled coyly this time and turned from him. He was just about to reach for her when she dropped to her hands, her backside to him. He groaned. She was right… she did know what he liked. His hands started at her petite shoulders and ran down her back as she purred like a cat. He slid his hands over her small but full ass, squeezing the soft flesh.
"Remus," she breathed. "I need you... please…."
He moaned and reached his hands to her thighs, pulling at them. She understood and spread her legs, showing him her wet entrance. His breathing was heavy and uneven as he grabbed his swollen cock and teased her with the tip, eliciting a whimper from the beautiful woman, bent on all fours, in front of him.
He placed himself at her core and filled her slowly, both crying out as he slid into her. He grabbed her hips tightly as she enveloped around him, her walls constricting around him. He felt himself hit bottom… and knew he was home… where he belonged.
"You're so tight, love," he ground out, trying to keep some piece of sanity. Hermione moaned.
His hands tightened on her hips as he pulled almost completely out of her, and then plunged back in, hitting bottom again. She couldn't remember a time when he felt so large, filled her so completely, and she was not complaining.
And
maybe I'll find some peace tonight.
"You feel so good," Hermione moaned as Remus slowly pumped in and out of her.
His head was spinning. Her smell, her frizzed hair, the position, her tight slick walls… everything about her was driving him completely mad, and he felt like a schoolboy who was having sex for the first time. He was ready to explode the moment he was halfway in her…. But he wanted it to last more than ten seconds, so he set a slow-but-steady pace, allowing his length to fill her completely before pulling almost out of her, and restarting again.
Hermione could feel his hesitation and she smiled slightly, but moaned as he hit that sweet spot only he could ever reach. She met his slow thrusts, her breath hitching each time he filled her to the hilt.
"Remus," she begged, "please."
His eyes rolled into the back of his head at her sultry voice in his sensitive ears. His hands tightened on her hips and he slammed into her with a grunt. He closed his eyes and slammed into her again.
"Yes!" she cried. "Right there, Remus, right there."
He groaned loudly and pounded into her with unrestrained lust, his hips slamming into her round bottom, his eyes turning black. His fingers were digging into her hips so tightly she was sure she'd have bruises, but somehow it was extremely sexy.
Remus knew he was losing control. He could hear her breathing becoming erratic and heavy, knew she was there too. He released the death grip on her hip and wrapped his arm around her, reaching to her swollen bud. His fingers worked it in quick circles and he smiled when her scent changed just ever so slightly.
"Oh, fuck, Remus!" she screamed, her orgasm raking throughout her body, her juices flowing over his hardened member.
His hand went back to her hip and he pounded into her over and over as her walls milked him into his own release. He buried himself as deeply as possible into her tight channel, emptying himself roughly inside her with a loud moan.
He knew he wouldn't be able to hold himself up, so he wrapped his arm around Hermione's shuttering waist and fell to the side, pulling her with him.
In
the arms of the angel.
They lay side by side, Hermione wrapped tightly in Remus' possessive arms until their breathing slowed. She turned in his arms to face him, throwing her leg over his hip.
"Hi," she whispered, looking into his eyes, which were back to their silvery-blue color.
"Hi," he whispered back, a little hoarsely.
Hermione put her hand to his face, stroking his cheek. "I missed you."
Remus smiled. "And I missed you. You have no idea how much I've missed you, Hermione."
She smiled back. "Oh, I'd say I do."
He sighed. "You don't know what it's like to pretend to love someone when you truly love someone else."
Hermione's smile faltered. "Do you have to go back to her?" she asked.
"Not tonight," he murmured, running his hand up and down her bare side.
"Will you stay with me?" she pleaded.
"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," he replied honestly. He kissed her lightly. "I really do love you… I want you to know that."
Hermione's eyebrows scrunched together. "You say that like you don't plan to be able to say it again."
"No," he said quickly, "no, I don't mean it like that, Hermione. I just want you to know I love you. That I wasn't lying before."
"I love you, too, Remus," she whispered, a tear falling from her eye.
He wiped it away. "Don't cry, beautiful."
She laughed humorlessly. "How can I not cry? You can stay with me tonight, but what about tomorrow? What about five years from now?"
Remus sighed and shook his head slightly. "I told you, Hermione… since Voldemort is dead, there is no longer any reason for me to pretend to be married to her. She doesn't want to be married to me either, it'll be over soon."
"How soon?" she asked.
"I don't know," he said honestly. He sighed. "I'll talk to her about it tomorrow, if she's around. It might take a few days."
"And then what?"
He smiled a little. "And then I'll be back here, if you'll have me."
"For how long?" she whispered, her eyes getting heavy.
"For as long as you'll have me," he whispered, kissing her forehead.
"Is forever okay?"
"That sounds… wonderful." Remus pulled her closer as his eyes were closing, his mind slowly shutting down. "Sleep, love," he murmured into her sweet-smelling hair.
And sleep they did.
Far
away from here.
The morning came all too soon. Remus woke before Hermione and saw the sun was already high in the sky. He cursed lowly and looked to the beautiful woman wrapped around him. He smiled sadly, kissed her hair, and untangled himself from her. He was just finishing lacing his shoes when he heard her stir.
"Remus?" she whispered.
He walked to her and placed a sound kiss on her lips. "I have to leave, Hermione."
Her eyes instantly filled with tears. She knew he would leave… he had said so… but that didn't make it hurt any less. He seemed to realize this and mirrored her expression.
"I'll be back," he promised. "I don't know when, but I will be. I love you."
"I love you, too, Remus," she whispered. She nuzzled her face into his pillow that still held his manly smell, tears in her eyes, as she watched him walk out the door.
Remus stood outside Grimmauld Place for five minutes, collecting himself before Apperating to his house in a far off place.
From
this dark, cold hotel room.
It had been a week, and Hermione once again found herself in tears, curled alone on her empty-feeling bed… waiting. She was lonely without him, her heart calling his name like a painful mantra. Her days were full of fake happiness, laughing at the boys' jokes, playing ridiculous chess games and pretending to eat.
It was only here, in the solitude of her own bedroom did the traces of Remus hit her like a baseball bat. His scent had long since left the pillow, and it was almost as if he had never come back to begin with.
The moon had not shown itself since that night. She felt cold and incomplete.
And
the endlessness that you feel.
Two weeks brought a completely new bundle of feelings… doubt, confusion….
The third weekend Hermione spent in her room, claiming to have found a fascinating book in the never-ending library… but that was a lie. She was starting to wonder whether he was going to come back. Thoughts filled her head, telling her that he had in fact lied, that he did love Tonks and he was just using her again.
By the middle of the week, she had almost convinced herself that he would not be coming back… until….
"Bloody hell!" Ron had exclaimed at dinner one night. "Look at this!" He held out the Prophet to Hermione from across the table. "Tonks and Lupin got divorced. Divorced!"
"What?" Ginny asked, leaning across Harry to read with Hermione.
"Yeah," Ron said, "last week."
"What about Teddy?" Harry asked.
"Dunno, it doesn't say." Ron shrugged.
Hermione read the short article, getting nothing more from it than what Ron had already told them. "Why is it in here?" she asked, trying to find the answer.
"Dunno," Ron said again. "They do that sometimes. If someone well-known gets married or has kids or gets divorced, they throw it in there. Publicity for the paper, I suppose."
Hermione went to her room early that night, curling herself in her blankets and closed her eyes, trying her hardest to find his smell again….
You
were pulled from the wreckage.
Remus walked into her room as she was getting dressed for the next day. He stood at the door, raking his eyes over her. She was only wearing a lacy black bra, with panties to match.
He stalked over to her, his white button up and khakis showing his toned body off nicely, and slammed her roughly against the dresser, his erection pressing into her.
His red-hot kiss pushed everything from her mind, the doubt, the heartbreak, every bad feeling she had. It washed away every tear she had ever cried, every night spent alone, awaiting his arrival that she feared would never happen. She felt whole, complete…. If only it weren't a dream….
Of
your silent reverie.
Hermione moaned sadly as she was ripped from her dream, cursing silently. She was about to pull the blanket over her head, but froze…. She felt his hand on her cheek again, stroking it lightly. Her eyes fluttered open and he was kneeling beside the bed, his face close hers.
She blinked a few times, trying to focus. As if it had been waiting just for him, the clouds separated and the moonlight filtered into the room, reveling all of his features to her.
Hermione was on her side, facing him, her eyes trying to stay open as his hand stroked her cheek, his eyes memorizing every inch of her beautiful face.
"Hi," he whispered, his breath warm on her face.
She inhaled, her eyes fluttering as his unique smell once again washed over her. She sighed, content. "Hi," she whispered back.
"I missed you," he admitted, his eyebrows raising thoughtfully.
She smiled. "And I missed you."
"Hermione," he whispered, sounding relieved to finally be speaking her name again.
Hermione leaned closer to him, and he seemed to understand…. He brought his lips to hers, his hand still resting on her cheek. They both sighed when their lips met, both feeling as though they had swallowed butterflies for dinner.
Remus groaned as Hermione deepened the kiss, putting her hand into his hair and pulling him closer, tracing his bottom lip with her tongue. He granted her access, allowing her to search his mouth.
He pulled back and put his forehead to hers, raking his hand through her messy hair. "I love you."
Hermione smiled. "I love you, too, Remus."
He pulled away more to stare into her face, his eyes gazing into hers. It seemed like hours they sat like that, just looking at each other.
"Remus," she murmured, her hand running over his hair.
"Yes?"
"Make me remember," she whispered, repeating his words from weeks ago.
Remus' eyes turned sad for only a brief second before crushing his lips against hers the way she had pictured, forcing away every bad feeling she had.
Their clothes fell away more slowly this time, each taking their time with the other to kiss, caress, lick, nip, touch, feel, and memorize each other from head to toe.
Only when Remus thought he'd lose it as Hermione lips wrapped around his large, hardened arousal did he make hurried movements. But once he had her securely back on her back did he slow back down, placing himself at her soaked entrance, and slid into her… feeling the completeness that knew only existed when he was with Hermione. Not that he remembered what it felt like to be with another woman… before her it had been almost ten years… but that all fell away and he felt like Hermione was the one and only woman he had ever been with…. And that was just fine by him, he reflected as she screamed his name with her release, throwing him into his own.
You're
in the arms of the angel.
Hermione awoke the next morning, her mind hazy and confused. She was just starting to wonder if it all really was a dream, when she felt Remus' warm breath on the back of her neck. They were on their sides and he was spooning her, holding her possessively in his arms, his face buried deeply in her tousled hair. She smiled and tried to snuggle closer to his warm, naked body.
Remus groaned happily, squeezing her tightly. She turned in his arms just to tangle herself back around him, and saw his eyes were already wide open, all traces of sleep gone.
"How long have you been awake?" she asked.
"About an hour," he murmured, kissing her forehead.
She smiled. "Why didn't you wake me?"
"I wanted to let you rest," he informed her. "I was enjoying just holding you… remembering what it felt like to wake up and just lay here… not having to run away to an Order meeting, or sneaking back to my room so no one would notice. It was nice to just be here."
Hermione kissed him gently. "I'm glad you're here." She hesitated for a moment. "What took you so long?"
He smiled a bit sadly. "Tonks wasn't home for a few days, so that was one problem. I agreed that I would be the one to petition the divorce, but she wanted to make it look real, so we had quite a few public fights and after that, I had to speak with Dumbledore via his portrait at Hogwarts…. I stayed on the grounds for a few days at the Headmistresses request to get a dose of Wolfsbane potion."
Hermione's eyes widened. "I didn't even realize it was going to be a full moon."
Remus smiled sheepishly. "I didn't either," he chuckled. "I stayed an extra day just to be safe… incase I was still… well… how I usually am the day after. I know you have seen me like that, but I didn't want to come back to you like that."
She smiled understandingly. "I'm just glad you came back."
He smiled, also. "How could I not come back? You're my angel," he whispered.
Hermione closed her eyes at the nickname. "You remembered," she whispered back.
He stroked her hair. "Of course I remembered…. How could I forget? I still, to this day, believe that you were sent here just for me, Hermione…. I never told you that's why I called you my angel, but it's true. Your hair always haloed on the pillow in the morning, and I just knew you were my angel."
They laid together in bed for the whole day, talking, laughing, and making love…. They only emerged from the bedroom to grab a few items for lunch and dinner before scurrying off back to their room.
"What about Teddy?" Hermione asked seemingly out of nowhere.
Remus sighed. "He's only a few months old, and although I would have no complaints about staying in his life, Tonks didn't want me there as a fatherly role. She said that although she knows I'd be a wonderful father, she didn't want to make things between us any more complicated than they already were, and if I wanted to stay in his life, I was more than welcome to, but as nothing more than 'Uncle Remus' or however she put it. I very rarely saw him to begin with… he was always at her mother's house." He took a deep breath. "Let's talk about something else shall we?"
She eyed him for a moment, but let it drop. "What do you think the boys and Ginny will say?" Hermione asked before biting of a bit of strawberry Remus held to her mouth.
He shrugged. "Well… they knew of our relationship before, so I wouldn't be too terribly surprised if Ginny screamed in delight, Harry to look confused for about twenty seconds before congratulating us, and Ron…. Well, Ron will probably just stare and gape… possibly grunt a few times, but I don't see anything more out of him."
Hermione giggled. "Probably…."
May
you find some comfort here.
Remus smiled as she laughed. "I think we should get married."
Hermione nearly choked on a strawberry. "Pardon?"
"I said I think we should married," he said matter-of-factly.
She stared at him with the oddest look he had ever seen grace her beautiful face. It was an incredulous expression mixed with shock, confusion, and amusement. Remus would have laughed if it had been appropriate.
"You can't be… I mean…. Are you asking me or just telling me you think we should?" she stuttered.
He smiled. "Maybe both."
"Huh…." She looked at him in wonderment. "Maybe both?"
"Possibly," he conceded.
"Well… thank you for letting me know your opinion…?" she said, with a slight edge of a question.
Remus chuckled, just confusing her more. He rolled his eyes and set down the plate of strawberries on the side table next to the bed. "I just figured that if we were going to tell everyone what was going on, we might as well have something exceptionally interesting to tell them."
Hermione's look gained a few characteristics… maybe a wee bit of anger. "You just want to marry me to make our situation more interesting?" she snapped.
Remus started at this. "No!" he said quickly. "No, Hermione. Absolutely not!" He sighed, frustrated. "This is not going the way I planned…. Okay, I'm just going to start over."
Before Hermione could protest, Remus hopped off the bed and leaned down to grab Hermione and pull her off the bed too. He ran his hand down her cheek before dropping to one knee before her, gazing up into her wide eyes.
"Hermione Jean Granger… I love you more than words could ever express. I know that it's been an odd two years, and I know that I hurt you in the past, but I promise you that if you choose to say 'yes', I will spend everyday for the rest of our lives to make it up to you. You are my angel, Hermione. You are what gets me through everyday. I have loved you for longer than appropriate, I'm sure, but that doesn't matter."
He knew he was rambling, but continued anyway. "I've seen what my life is like without you, and I know, without one single doubt in my mind, that I want no one other than you for the rest of my life. I want to spend every moment I have, no matter how short, or how long, with you as my partner, my friend, my lover, my wife, the mother of my children, anything, and everything. I have never felt like this before and I know it's right. I know I am not the best choice for you, but I know that no one will ever see you the way I do. No one will ever worship the ground your beautiful little angel feet walk on the way I do. I know I'm supposed to ask your father, I know I'm supposed to have the blessing of everyone we know, I know I'm supposed to have a ring…."
Remus trailed off and patted his jeans, putting a hand into his left pocket. "Oh, wait," he chuckled, "I do have a ring!" He removed his hand, and inside it was a beautiful platinum ring with a decent sized heart shaped diamond in the middle. His voice dropped a few levels as he grabbed her hand in his. "I've had this ring since before I had agreed to Dumbledore's last wish of me…. I planned to ask you before you left the Burrow that summer, Hermione…. I knew then what I wanted, and that has not changed. Not for me, anyway. I've carried this ring around with me for almost a year now… it was always a reminder of what my life could have been… and now that I have the opportunity to make it what I want – no, need – it to be, I can't let that slide past me… again. I love you with everything I have, and so I ask now, on bended knee…. Hermione, my angel, the love of my life, will you do me the greatest honor? Will you marry me?"
Hermione stood there for a moment, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Yes," she choked out. "Yes, Remus, I'll marry you."
He hastily put the ring on her finger before standing up. The moment he was fully on his feet, the couple threw their arms around each other, Remus lifting his bride-to-be off her feet, swinging her around as they laughed happily.
Years later, they would sit together on the front porch of their large brick home in the country, and tell the story of how Uncle Ron, Uncle Harry, and Auntie Ginny had reacted as Remus had predicted… their four young, beautiful children giggling as he reenacted it.
Remus would always grab Hermione's hand in his as they laughed at Demetrius, Logan, Cassandra, and Daphne taking turns making silly faces and grunting like Ron had done.
And as always, Remus would look around at his four children and beautiful wife, and thank whoever sent this angel, his angel, into his life, for he could not picture a better life as his.
A/N: This song was always one of my mother's favorites and I was watching City of Angels, so this song was stuck in my head, and this story just sort of wove into my creative brain. I originally began writing it as a SS/HG fic that is very different from this, but Remus just kept popping into my mind…. So, sometime I may just post that one…. Let me know what you thought, though, I love hearing what ya'll think. Thank you for reading!
