Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. This is inspired by Mike Fox. I saw his video, and my geeky mind immediately thought of Teen Titans. I digress.
A/N: Anyway, my other story, " Welcome To... What's This Place Called, Again?" ( I think it's called), will be updated as soon as possible. I was locked out of my account and I couldn't update. Also, if you don't like cursing, crude humor, and sexual themes, don't read. Sorry, anyway, to the story!
" Hey, it's Beastboy here with Cyborg," Beastboy began, looking into the camera. " Here's another one of my lyric prank videos, inspired by Mike Fox. Last time, I pranked Robin with Gangsta by Kehlani. Today, I got Cyborg to join me to prank Raven."
Cyborg winced. " She's going to kill us."
Beastboy shrugged. " I have safety measures, don't worry."
Cyborg raised an eyebrow but didn't comment.
" So, I'm gonna prank her with I Just had Sex by The Lonely Island," Beastboy announced. Cyborg dragged in a shocked breath.
" We're literally going to die," he gasped. Beastboy rolled his eyes, before picking up his phone. He began with the first text.
Sometimes, something beautiful happens in this world. - Beastboy
It took a couple of minutes, but eventually Raven replied.
Uh... okay? - Raven
Beastboy immediately broke into a maniacal laughter, before showing Cyborg who snorted.
You don't know how to express yourself, so you got to tell someone. -Beastboy
A couple seconds later, she responded.
Do you want to tell me something? - Raven
Beastboy grinned, this was perfect.
I just had sex! - Beastboy
Somewhere in the tower, a light exploded.
WTF?! - Raven
Cyborg was practically dying of laughter in the background.
And it felt so goooodd! - Beastboy
What the actual hell?! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! - Raven
Beastboy chuckled.
A woman let me put my penis inside her! - Beastboy
For a second, the lights wavered before returning to normal. Beastboy let out a giggle.
... - Raven
Cyborg snorted at her answer.
I just had sex, and I'll never go back to the not-having-sex ways of the past. - Beastboy
A slight pause before she responded.
OH FUCKING AZAR, TELL CYBORG NOT ME!- Raven
Cyborg snorted " She just cursed, used Azar's name, and wrote three exclamation points, we're dead.".
Have you ever had sex? - Beastboy
Cyborg and Beastboy froze, not wanting to really know the answer.
That's personal! I'm not telling you! - Raven
Cyborg and Beastboy sighed in relief.
Well, I have, it felt great. - Beastboy
A couple seconds later...
Trust me, I know that by now. - Raven
Beastboy chuckled at her response.
It felt so good when I did it with my penis. - Beastboy
A window shattered.
BEASTBOY! - Raven
Unable to help himself he replied...
A girl let me do it, it literally just happened. - Beastboy
Almost immediately, she replied.
Is she still here? Because I don't want to run into her. - Raven
Beastboy snorted, Raven was really modest and would die of embarrassment.
Having sex can make a nice man out of the meanest. - Beastboy
Cyborg smiled, looking over Beastboys shoulder.
I'm going to take that as a yes, I'm not leaving my room for the rest of the day. -Raven
Cyborg snorted.
You'll never guess where I just came from, I JUST HAD SEX! - Beastboy
After a brief moment, she replied.
I'm aware. - Raven
Beastboy could practically hear her snarky deadpan voice.
If I had to describe the feeling: it's the best. - Beastboy
Good to know... scratch that, my eyes are bleeding and my brain is melting. - Raven
Cyborg guffawed.
When I had sex, man my penis felt great. - Beastboy
Something exploded, Beastboy assumed it was the fridge
HOLY SHIT! GO TELL CYBORG OR SOMETHING! - Raven
Jokingly, Beastboy turned to Cyborg. " I just had sex."
Cyborg chuckled.
I called my parents right after I was done - Beastboy
It was a second before she replied.
Steve and Rita? Are you high? - Raven
Beastboy skipped the next two lines, figuring they would sound right
I just had sex, undressed, saw her boobies and the rest! - Beastboy
It was another moment before she replied.
WTF?! You're like twelve! - Raven
Cyborg smirked.
" Oh, come one! I'm older than Raven!" he exclaimed.
Cyborg furrowed his eyebrows. " How old are you?"
" A month older than her!" he announced.
Cyborg lifted an eyebrow, before nodding at him to continue.
Beastboy decided to skip some lyrics, slightly bored.
To be honest, I'm surprised she even wanted me to do it. Doesn't really make sense... But man, screw it. I ain't one to argue over a good thing. - Beastboy
After a couple minutes, it was clear Raven wasn't going to reply. Smirking, Beastboy imagined her shocked into silence.
She could be my wife! Is that good? - Beastboy
A second later, the toaster shattered into a million pieces.
You're like twelve, how about you wait like a decade... - Raven
Beastboy chuckled, before replying.
But, it was the best thirty seconds of my life! - Beastboy
It took a minute for her to respond.
That's really not a good thing... - Raven
Cyborg burst out laughing.
I'm so humbled by a girls ability to let me do her. Cuz honestly, I'd have sex with manure. - Beastboy
It took a moment, but, eventually, she replied.
You are a sad, sad little man. - Raven
Cyborg threw his head back and laughed.
But, I'd rather a soft nice smelling woman better. - Beastboy
Cool...? - Raven
Cyborg and Beastboy chuckled.
Plus, she let me wear my chain and turtleneck sweater! - Beastboy
After a pause...
Wait, you had sex with a girl in a sweater? That is the weirdest think I've ever said. And I'm half demon from another dimension - Raven
Cyborg giggled like a little girl. Beastboy decided to skip the next verse, it would be too confusing.
But, she kept looking at her watch... - Beastboy
Sorry? - Raven
And I cried the whole time... - Beastboy
... - Raven
I think she might have been racist... she put a bag on my head... - Beastboy
That's depressing. - Raven
" Hey, we should probably end it here. The lyrics won't really fit anymore," Cyborg proposed.
Beastboy nodded. " Wait, let me do one more thing."
Cyborg shrugged " Go ahead, just try not to get us killed."
Hey, Rae-bear wanna know who it was? - Beastboy
Cyborg raised an eyebrow, catching his drift. " We're dead."
Uh, sure...? - Raven
It was Star. - Beastboy
Every window on the top floor simultaneously shattered.
WHAT?! SHES WITH ROBIN! - Raven
Cyborg chuckled nervously " Hey, uh, maybe you should stop here."
Beastboy nodded.
Jk, everything was a prank. I just quoted lyrics from I Just Had Sex by Akon and The Lonely Island. Except for the ending with Star, I made that up. - Beastboy.
A couple minutes later, and she still didn't reply.
Raven? You there? - Beastboy
Not a second later, the door banged open. Raven stood there, glaring at them. Cyborg squeaked, terrified.
Raven stepped forward, intent on murder. However, she suddenly found herself yanked upward and tumble upside down. Beastboy quickly walked up to her and tied her hands together, above her... or below her?
She thrashed around. Because, yes, Beastboy set up a trap, and Raven was dangling off the ceiling by a rope around her ankle.
" Told you I had safety measures," Beastboy smirked at Cyborg. Who barely let out a terrified squeak before darting away.
Now alone, Beastboy smiled at Raven.
" How's it hanging?" he inquired.
" I will murder you," she threatened. Beastboy shrugged before sitting on the ground in front of her. This passed on for about twenty minutes before Raven finally cracked.
" Okay, let me down now," she pleaded, " My head hurts."
Beastboy shrugged before snapping the rope and catching her before she face-planted the ground. She glared at him as he held her, bridal style.
" You can let me down now," she informed him. He shrugged.
" Okay, come on say something. You're creeping me out."
" If I untie you, will you kill me?" he asked.
Raven sighed." Of course not."
Beastboy visibly relaxed. He set her on her feet and released her hands. She rubbed her wrists.
" I will kick you in your crown jewels, though."
Before he even processed her words, her foot was buried in his crotch. He sank to the ground, whimpering. She stepped over him and walked to the door. However, before she left, she paused.
Looking over her shoulder she said " Bet your penis doesn't feel great anymore. Good luck with the whole sex thing."
She left without another word.
A/N: This will probably not be the only one, I'm probably gonna make this more than a oneshot, basically, Beastboy and social media. What do you think?
