Disclaimer: I am not nearly wonderfully crazy enough to have made up this hat. It was J. K. Rowling's fault.
I had this idea. I knew I had to write it. It was just too strange.
The Year the Sorting Hat Discovered Limericks :P
It really can be quite a pain
To be just a hat with a brain.
I sit in the tower,
And, hour by hour,
I think how I could entertain.
Though I've lived through the time of Shakespeare,
Sometimes I just can't get into gear.
The song just won't come;
Like my tongue has gone numb;
So I ask my friend Dumbledore here.
He always has some good advice;
It usually makes me think twice,
And it sticks in my head;
But this time he just said,
"I often think limericks are nice."
Now something in my head went *chime*
I began coming up with this rhyme.
I realized too late,
he was quite off his pate.
He had been fast asleep at the time!
I suppose I must just go along,
And sing this ridiculous song.
As long as it tells
Of the house where you'll dwell
I guess it's not really that wrong.
If the reason you'd like to see Rome
Is to stare at some rare obscure tome,
If the books you live for
Seem to make others snore,
Then Ravenclaw's surely your home.
And whether it be lion's roar,
Or worse, a professor's low score,
If you face up to all
And you're still standing tall,
Then I will name you Gryffindor.
If you want all the power you can take,
Suspect friends of stealing your cake,
And if you aspire
To learn black magic dire,
Then a great Slytherin you will make.
Those of you who don't think that you've got
What it takes to be part of this lot,
Hufflepuff's always fair;
All you need to get there
Is to work hard, or have you forgot?
So sit down and put me on tight.
Don't worry, you won't get a fright.
I will just pick your mind
'Till I find out your kind,
And tell you where you will fit right.
I had this idea. I knew I had to write it. It was just too strange.
The Year the Sorting Hat Discovered Limericks :P
It really can be quite a pain
To be just a hat with a brain.
I sit in the tower,
And, hour by hour,
I think how I could entertain.
Though I've lived through the time of Shakespeare,
Sometimes I just can't get into gear.
The song just won't come;
Like my tongue has gone numb;
So I ask my friend Dumbledore here.
He always has some good advice;
It usually makes me think twice,
And it sticks in my head;
But this time he just said,
"I often think limericks are nice."
Now something in my head went *chime*
I began coming up with this rhyme.
I realized too late,
he was quite off his pate.
He had been fast asleep at the time!
I suppose I must just go along,
And sing this ridiculous song.
As long as it tells
Of the house where you'll dwell
I guess it's not really that wrong.
If the reason you'd like to see Rome
Is to stare at some rare obscure tome,
If the books you live for
Seem to make others snore,
Then Ravenclaw's surely your home.
And whether it be lion's roar,
Or worse, a professor's low score,
If you face up to all
And you're still standing tall,
Then I will name you Gryffindor.
If you want all the power you can take,
Suspect friends of stealing your cake,
And if you aspire
To learn black magic dire,
Then a great Slytherin you will make.
Those of you who don't think that you've got
What it takes to be part of this lot,
Hufflepuff's always fair;
All you need to get there
Is to work hard, or have you forgot?
So sit down and put me on tight.
Don't worry, you won't get a fright.
I will just pick your mind
'Till I find out your kind,
And tell you where you will fit right.