What a girl wants

by pinsel90

Emma chose Neal... but she keeps being drawn to a certain captain, who just can't let go of her. But is that really the problem or is it herself? Will she make a choice again or end it? Is there a chance for love at all? Will she lose everything? It's something that came up in my mind. ;) I don't own anything of it except my idea. Have fun. :D (be warned: very slightly E N)

What a girl wants

He had no idea how he had ended up in front of her door. He had actually wanted to stay away from her because he knew it was useless and she was back together with Neal. They were a happy family and he was the disturbing nuisance that kept getting in their way. He sighed and stared at the door in front of him. He couldn't understand why he was here now.

He had just thought of her all of a sudden, like he'd already done a thousand times before ever since they had left Neverland. Who was he lying to? Even before that. But it was Neal's come back that had turned all his thoughts into something painful that he had to lock away deep down in his chest in order to give her space, to give her the opportunity to stay away from him and find her happy ending even if it was in the arms of another man. She deserved her happy ending and he had sworn to himself that he'd do anything to achieve it for her. So even if he didn't make it to leave her all alone during the day when she was out on the streets of Storybrook to do her job and make sure everyone was happy and safe here (well, except him, since he couldn't be with her) at least he had decided to stay away from her when she was at home. Since he had appeared on their doorstep when the town had been in danger and he had worked with David to steal the magic beans from Tamara and Greg he had never been here again. So why now?

He swallowed heavily and sighed. He already knew the answer. He missed her. It wasn't enough to see her during the day, sometimes just from afar without talking to her. He missed the way she looked at him, when they had been stuck together in Neverland. He missed the smell of her skin and hair when she was around him. He missed her questioning gaze searching his eyes every time she didn't know what to do. He missed her voice even though he had heard it just today. And worst then all he missed the sensation of her lips on his mouth, the taste of her, the chill that ran down his whole body in every little corner of it when they had kissed the first and only time. He missed the flirty smile and her eye blink before they had kissed. He missed being with her like with an old friend, a soul mate.

He missed the trust they had shared like they had known each other for more than just two months, that even overcame the obstacles of their first meeting and the beats they had placed at each other whether it was her betraying and leaving him up that beanstalk all alone with a giant that could have killed him with one strike of his thumb or him leaving her behind in a cage everyone had believed to be inescapable. Seeing her for a couple of hours during the day couldn't match to all of that.

Hook stared at the door in front of him like he could look through it if he'd stare just long enough to see if she was alone or with Neal or Henry or….well…if she was alone. Maybe it would be better if he'd leave if she was. He wasn't sure about what he'd do, if they'd be alone. He was scared even though he didn't want to admit it and if someone would have asked him about it, he would've told them that it was ridiculous. And even though he knew it was, he couldn't help but hesitate.

What should he tell her? What reason should he have to show up at her home all of a sudden? What explanation could he give for his actions if he'd knock and visit her or even worse if he couldn't hold back his feelings for her and would just react to them?

A part of something…. She had invited him in the day at the diner. She had invited him into her live, into the group of people that lived here together. People who spent time together because they liked each other. People who had fun together because it was better than being alone. People who visited each other because they didn't want to be alone and had no one else to go to. Because they were lonely.

Before he knew what he was doing, he was knocking at her door. The sound of the knuckles of his right hand hitting the wooden door in front of him was silent but in his ears it sounded like he had hit with a chair or something to break it apart so he could enter her flat violently.

He waited and noticed that he was nervous. He frowned. He was never nervous. But this was different. This wasn't a fight or something like that. This was worse. He had never been that nervous before.

The door opened slowly and he met her green eyes staring at him in confusion for a moment before her expression relaxed again, "Hook."

His mouth was dry when he looked her up from had to toe. Her hair was hidden underneath a towel she had bound around her head, her cheeks were red and seemed softer than he had ever seen them before. A single drop of water was running out from under the towel down her neck and disappeared in the large black sweater. Her legs were put into a pair of blue sports trousers and she was barefooted.

"Didn't want to disturb you", he heard himself say while staring at her right hand at the doorframe. It seemed to be the safest spot to look at right now.

"You didn't", she said like it was normal to have him staying in front of her door and stepped aside, "do you want to come in?"

His eyes met hers in surprise. He had never been a guy who was invited somewhere. Not since he had traveled to Neverland with Liam all those centuries ago. He followed her inside and closed the door behind his back while she walked up to the kitchen counter. Nothing had changed since the last time he had been here. There was no sign that Neal was even living here. Had he missed something?

"Do you want something to drink", she asked and grinned at him, "but I've got to warn you. I don't have rum."

A smile curled up his lips before he even fully understood what she had said and he walked up to her, "sure. What can you offer?"

Emma stared at him for a moment before she turned to the fridge and opened it to take a look inside, "hm…I have", she chuckled, "milk and…milk….and water."

He laughed and stopped in front of the counter where he placed his arms on the working surface.

"Finally", she said and left him confused.

"What?"

She closed the fridge and opened a cupboard to grab to glasses and another door to get out a bottle of rum.

He raised an eyebrow when he stared at the bottle before his gaze wandered up to her eyes looking at her questioningly. What had all that been about? Hadn't she just said she didn't have rum? Why?

She smiled at him and continued just like she hadn't noticed his confused expression, "I already wondered when you would be normal again. You seemed so tense when I opened the door that you made my worried", she filled the glasses she had placed between them on the counter and gave him one of them, "so what's wrong buddy?"

Hook stared at her. It took him a moment to realize what she had just said. What had happened? Was he the open book now and she was reading him? Since when? Why? He looked down at his glass and frowned. Maybe the day he had started to think too much?

"Hook?"

He met her eyes and noticed that she really was worried now even before she repeated, "what's wrong?"

"I was just wondering since when you were able to read me like that", he said without leaving her out of his eyes.

Emma frowned, "don't know. I just thought it was strange that you suddenly show up in front of my door. You've never done that before. And you weren't acting like usual."

He raised his glass and drank his rum with one big sip. It wasn't bad but it wasn't as good as his own one, "I don't know why I'm here."

"Could it be you're lonely?"

He met her eyes in surprise, "maybe. Why…"

She cut him off, "you live all alone on a ship at the harbor that's far away from the rest of the town. It's kind of obvious you're alone."

He stared at her while a strange warm feeling filled him starting from his heart. He really had missed her.

He looked at the towel on her head again, "is that a new fashion I don't know about?"

Emma smiled and walked around the counter to a door that lead out of the room, while she pulled the towel down from her head so her long and wet blond curls fell free over her bag, "no, I just didn't want to wet my sweater."

She vanished for a short moment and when she came back her wet hair was a little more dry, "want something to eat?"

"Where is Neal?"

"Left with Henry. He takes him to Regina", she sounded strange like she didn't want to talk about it. Was it because of Regina or was something wrong in paradise? Or was he just hearing what he wanted and didn't want to hear at the same time? He couldn't lie to himself anymore. Even though he wanted her to be happy and wanted that everything between Neal and her was fine he knew he secretly whished it wasn't deep down his soul.

"To Regina?"

"Yes", Emma sighed and walked up to the fridge again, "she is his mother, too after all. He loves her and I won't ever dare to keep them apart if he wants to be with her and I know she will never hurt him on purpose. She loves him."

"I see", he glanced back at the door and sighed, "well, I guess I'll leave then."

She frowned at him, "why?"

"Don't want to disturb you guys when Neal comes back."

She looked back into the fridge again when she said, "Neal wanted to visit Gold when Henry is at Regina's."

"Something the matter?"

She got something out of the fridge and looked at him in surprise, "no. He is his father after all."

His eyes dropped to her right hand she was holding a dose in and frowned, "what's that?"

She looked a little confused at the dose in her hand before she looked up to him again, "that's whipped cream."

Hook raised his eyebrows. What the hell was whipped cream?

Emma smiled knowingly, "want to try?"

Hook frowned and looked at the dose, "not sure."

"It's just a cream made of milk with some sugar", she looked at him and tilted her head. Now he knew how Adam must have felt when Eve had been waving with her apple saying something equal. Hell, he couldn't blame him for taking it and he was sure the first man ever had never regretted that he had, even though he had had to leave paradise after it.

Hook stepped back and looked up at a clock that was hanging from a wall. It was already late. Neal would come home soon for sure. His eyes met hers again and he smiled, "not this time, love. I've got to go."

She put the dose down again and looked at him like she was trying to look right through him into his heart, "why?"

"Neal will be back soon."

"So?"

"I don't want to disturb you two."

Emma frowned, "You don't."

He stared at her unable to find another excuse to leave especially since he wanted to stay with her so badly. He knew it would be a bad lie if he told her, that someone was waiting for him or that he had work to do because the truth was since he had given up his revenge he had nothing to do at all.

She sighed, "look, I don't know what's wrong with you, but if you need someone to talk to, you can come whenever you want to."

Hook frowned, "why?"

She studied him for a moment like she didn't understand his questions or where it came from, "because you helped me, when I needed help."

He stepped back, "thank you. But I really should leave now."

"Okay", she almost whispered before she smiled at him again, "than you can try it next time."

His gaze fell on the dose in her hand she was slightly waving with and he couldn't help but smile back, "whatever that is."

---

Days passed. They kept seeing each other through the day when they were working together to keep the town safe but he didn't show up at her door again. She couldn't understand what was going on with him. He had been so confused when he had been standing there and it had just been after a while that he had relaxed again. The thought of Neal coming back had seemed to bother him. But she could understand it. Sometimes she was still able to hear what he had told her in that cave in Neverland. That she was the reason he was able to leave his past behind, to overcome his pain from losing Milah.

She couldn't help but be curious about the woman who had kept his heart for such a long time. The woman who had left her own son behind even though she didn't like her son's father. The woman who was haunting almost every conversation between Gold and Hook when they had one of those rare moments. The woman Neal didn't really want to talk about because he was still too hurt through her betrayal not just on his father but on him as well.

What had she been like? How had she been able to simply leave her son behind? How long had they been together? Was the real reason behind his decision to leave her behind not herself but just something about her, that reminded him of Milah? Was there a similarity between that mystical woman and her?

She sat in the diner at the counter and watched Ruby arguing with her grams while she was waiting for Neal. Henry was still at school and Regina would pick him up today. Neal…

Everything had become troublesome since this Wendy Darling had shown up again. Sure back then she had still been a kid forced to never grow older by Pan, but the moment they had caught the little demon and come back to Storybrook she had grown older almost within an eye blink. Well, it had taken her a few days until she had turned into something like an twenty-seven years old woman. Emma knew Neal was just helping her to get used to all those things, she'd missed in those centuries she had spent in Neverland frozen in time but there was something between those two neither of them wanted to admit and both tried to keep secret or at least it appeared to her like this. It was like some kind of connection she couldn't really point a finger at. She didn't know if it was just past memories or more, even though he was telling her it was something like that.

"Hey", she heard him say right at her right ear. She hadn't even noticed that he had entered the diner.

Emma smiled, "hey. Do you want to eat something?"

"No", he said, placed a soft kiss on her cheek and took the place beside her at the bar, "how was your day so far?"

"Kind of boring", she said and looked down into her almost empty cup while he ordered some coffee for himself, "what have you been doing?"

"I had a long conversation with Wendy", he told her without hesitation and put some sugar into his cup, "'t was nice to talk about old memories."

"What kind of memories", Emma looked curious at him. She wanted to know about their connection, wanted to have part at his life before they had met, so she would know him and understand him better.

But just like every time she had asked him about her and their past he refused to answer, "It's not important anymore. It's been a long time ago and there is nothing to remember. I mean, we were kids." He took her hand and squeezed it gently to encourage her even though he denied giving any more information to her.

They kept talking about Henry the only theme they seemed to have in the last time until her mobile phone ordered her back to work. It was David who asked for her attention. He was helping her with her job since he was the only one besides her who hadn't have a job from the time all of them had come to Storybrook through the curse.

It was about Tinkerbelle. He had taken her to the nuns ruled by the Blue Fairy as she was called by everyone here. But she didn't want to stay, didn't feel happy or welcomed there.

Emma kissed Neal and rolled her eyes, "sorry, got to go. Work."

"What is it about", he helped her into her jacket and caressed her neck in the process.

Emma smiled at him, "Tinkerbelle. She doesn't really fit in the convent as we had hoped her to."

Neal frowned, "that's too bad. Do you want me to come along?"

"What for", she grinned at him not leaving him out of sight for even a second. He returned her grin and stepped closer while taking a strain of her hair like he wanted to test what it felt like in his fingers, before he tossed it over her shoulder, "maybe just to support you. I could strengthen your back."

Emma hissed an eyebrow, "really?"

"Or I could just distract you from your work", he chuckled, "we could make bets on who wins, the Blue Fairy or Tink."

Emma joined in his laughter, "yeah, for sure. And then they'll turn on us together. No. I'll go alone. See you tonight."

She kissed him again and stopped when she noticed that he was frowning, "what?"

"Sorry Emma."

"About what?"

He looked at her like he was feeling quite uncomfortable, "I promised the Darlings to pay them another visit. They still don't get what's going on here completely."

Emma sighed and looked down at her fingers. She pressed her lips into a thin line trying to hide her disappointment."

Neal leaned down to look up into her eyes. When he noticed her expression he sighed guiltily, "oh come on. You know it's important. We don't want something like back then with Tamara and Greg to happen again, do we?"

She shrugged, "you're right."

When Emma arrived at the convent of the sisters there was loud arguing filling the air around the big building in front of her. It didn't take her long to find the bickering women in one of the many rooms there. David wasn't allowed to enter since the nuns kept living like they had done before Emma had broken the curse. Men weren't allowed in here accept in the church.

"You stole from us."

"But I had good intentions."

"That doesn't mean it was alright."

"I never said it was alright!"

"You said you had good intentions."

"I know", Tinkerbelle screamed back when Emma entered the room, "I just told you a few minutes ago."

The Blue Fairy sighed, "you see? You haven't learned anything form me."

Tinkerbelle frowned and pushed her hands at her hips, "I didn't learn anything? With the fairy dust I stole I found Regina's true love. I found her and noticed that she needed help so I offered it to her. So what makes you believe I didn't learn anything?"

"Chrm", Emma waited for their reaction and it was the Blue Fairy who noticed her first.

"Emma", she said surprised and greeted her like they had already known each other for a very long time instead of just a couple of months. It was strange.

"Someone called my office telling me there was big noise here", Emma explained and stepped back from her while looking from one to the other, "so what on earth is going on here?"

"I was just about to explain that the worst things happened out of good intentions and that Tinkerbelle should have listened to me back then", the Blue Fairy tried to act calm like always but Emma was able to sense the anger in her voice.

"And I was trying to explain to her, that her way of choosing the people who deserve our help isn't right", Tinkerbelle said with all her heart as it seemed and looked at the god mother in annoyance, "we could have prevented a lot of pain and trouble if we would have ignored the fact that Regina was Cora's daughter and would have tried to help and to guide her, when she was still pure and nice."

The Blue Fairy turned to look at Emma and sighed like she was sick of this conversation, "look, I don't think this is going to work for neither of us."

Emma frowned, "what do you mean?"

"She just can't stay here", she answered and talked like Tinkerbelle wasn't there anymore, "we can't live together. We'd never stop arguing and she just doesn't listen to me. You'd need to come here every day because of our arguments. And the rest of our convent would be just as troubled through this."

Tinkerbelle sighed in disbelieve, "so it's all my fault again."

Emma ignored her, "have you ever tried to understand her?"

"Of course I do understand her."

"I don't think so", said Tinkerbelle and stepped between them, "but she is right. This doesn't work."

Emma sighed, "and what do you expect me to do now? Do you want to live in my office? Maybe in a cell?"

Tinkerbelle frowned, "ew, no. For sure not."

Emma bit her bottom lip and gave it a thought. Granny's motel was filled with the Darlings and besides that there was no other place for guests. On top of that Tinkerbelle didn't have any money to at least support the payment of water and electricity bills that would be needed to be paid if she'd stay at the motel. And just like that wasn't already enough there wasn't a single soul in this town who knew her or was a friend of her except Regina who she didn't want to live with and refused to take her in and Hook.

Hook!

"I'd have an idea", Emma said slowly, "but I don't think you could stay there for long. But maybe it would be long enough to put your issues aside without having to be around each other the whole time. You could argue and push the other one out if it becomes too much."

"Where", Tinkerbelle asked hopefully.

Emma was sure she wouldn't like it.

And had been right, as she noticed half an hour later, when she walked down the docks with her heading to the Jolly Roger. Emma hadn't seen him the whole day what was a little strange for him. He usually showed up in the morning at her office to snatch some coffee for free. He always said he wanted to spent time with David but she didn't buy that. She knew it was just for the coffee. He had grown to like it quite a lot ever since they came back from Neverland. Maybe even before that when he was still in the hospital after hitting Belle.

Emma looked up to the deck, when Tinkerbelle asked a question that seemed to be out of her head, "do you think he is even there?"

Emma sighed before she walked up the blank, "I guess you better wait here for a moment so I can ask him."

"Why?"

She turned to look at her, "he might feel a little caught off guard if you come on board with such a request, don't you think?"

"Oh please", Tinkerbelle said and rolled her eyes, "like he would refuse it to do any favor as long as you asked him for it?"

Emma froze for a second, before she turned her back on her again and walked up the plank, "wait here."

---

"What?"

"Please", Emma insisted, "she has no place to live at, Regina would never take her in and you are the only other person she knows here."

He stared at her in disbelieve, "what about you? You know her, too, don't you?"

She sighed, "oh come on. You know very well that my flat is already filled. The loft is made for two or three people and we are already living there with five. And besides that…" She didn't finish the sentence but looked out to the sea.

"What", Hook asked and frowned at her in suspicion.

Emma hesitated, "nothing."

"What", he insisted.

"I just thought if she would stay with you, you wouldn't be as lonely anymore as you were lately."

Hook stared at her for a long moment not revealing any feeling or any thought to her. He seemed to be frozen before he sighed and looked at the planks under his feet, "I know what this is."

Emma frowned, "what is what?"

"What you are doing", he said and she was able to sense his anger in his voice without even looking into his eyes. But she couldn't understand why.

"And what am I doing", she asked a little confused.

"You remembered what I told you in the Echo cave when we were saving Neal and because I showed up in front of your door you think you have to do that now."

Emma frowned, "no."

"But you know, you don't need to. I know there is no place for me so I'll stay away", he said before he met her confused and shocked gaze, "and that wasn't what it is about, right?"

"Actually it's just about me having no other place to stay but with you, because the Blue Fairy is too stubborn to admit that she was wrong about me and about Regina", Tinkerbelle said from behind Emma when she suddenly appeared on deck. She didn't pay any attention to what was going on between the pirate and Emma and walked to the door that lead under deck without asking.

"Why me", he asked like she was trying to ask him to take in a dragon baby, when Tinkerbelle closed the door behind her.

"You know her", Emma said still frowning at him, "you two seemed fine with each other in Neverland so I thought it wouldn't be too much trouble for you to take her in."

"She is a pixie, Emma", he whispered, "they are always trouble."

"At least try it", she said and turned her back on him to leave the Jolly Roger again.

"Emma", he heard himself say before he even knew what he was doing, "Emma, please wait."

"Why", she asked in an angry voice over her shoulder without even stopping for a single second.

Hook followed her, "what I said…I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

She turned around when she was standing on the plank to leave his ship, "But you did."

He froze and they stared at each other for a long moment, before she looked to the side, sighed, shook her head and looked back at him again, "look, I had no idea that…I didn't know that…all this was so much trouble for you or I wouldn't have…"

"You mean you would have kept your distance to me", he finished her sentence since she didn't seem to be able to do it.

She swallowed hard and looked at her feet, "I thought we were friends and this was… well, over."

"What exactly?"

"I thought the kiss didn't mean anything."

Hook frowned in disbelieve, "even after I told you that it did in that cave? That wasn't a lie you know?"

"I do", she hesitated, "but I didn't think it would still mean so much to you. I thought you just… You'd just find someone else here and that that kiss was just something like…I don't know…a push in a new direction."

Hook stumbled back and took a deep breath, "it was."

"What", she asked in confusion, "but you just said that…"

"Because I thought you'd believe it had been more important to me."

Emma couldn't stop frowning, "oh."

"Yes", he heard himself say before he even understood what he had just done. He had lied to her in order to be able to spent more time with her like he had done ever since they had come back from Neverland. He had been afraid she would want to avoid him, if she believed the truth and found himself surprised she didn't look through his lie like she had done before.

"Fine then…", she said and took a step back while biting her lip, "see you."

He watched her disappear and sighed.

"You know, I don't buy that", he heard Tinkerbelle say behind his back, "you really are in love with her. Madly in love with her, my dear captain."

He closed his eyes and cursed. What on earth had he done to deserve all of that? He sighed, maybe the right question actually was what he hadn't done to deserve it.

---

Someone knocked at her door. It was already late and Neal still wasn't home yet. Maybe he had forgotten his key? She got up from the couch and reached for the door but when she was about to open it, she hesitated. What if it wasn't Neal? And what if it was him? They didn't really have that much to talk about ever since this Wendy had shown up in their lives. It was like she was building a wall between them and she didn't know how to get past it.

She sighed and opened the door. It was Hook. He was wet to the bone and there was already a puddle around his feet made by the water dropping from his cloak.

"What on earth happened to you", Emma asked in surprise and stared at him. Her fear it could be him had been proofed but seeing him like that she didn't even remember why she had been afraid of it.

"Tinkerbelle", was all he said when he already entered her flat without waiting for her invitation. He seemed to be freezing when he stopped in the middle of the room his wet hair hanging over his forehead, while water was dropping from every strain of it and ran down his face and his neck until it vanished under his cloths.

Emma didn't ask anything more and went into the bathroom to get him a towel so he could at least dry his hair a little. He took it thankfully and took off his cloak. She had never seen him without it before. Maybe she could get used to it.

She slightly shook her head to clear her mind when he used the towel for his hair so he wasn't able to see it, "and now. What happened?"

"Somehow that wicked little fairy thought it to be funny to push me into the sea", he said annoyed, "don't ask me why. I have no idea."

"And why didn't get yourself something dry to wear before you came here?"

His head shot up and he glared at her, "because she didn't let me on board anymore."

"She did what", Emma asked in disbelieve and stared at him for a long moment, "but how?"

Hook was trembling all over when he answered her, "she stole some pixie dust I assume. Or she visited Rumpstiltskin today after I left my ship."

"Do you want something to drink", asked Emma knowing that he was blaming her for everything that had happened to him and his beloved ship.

"Rum", he said without hesitation and sat down on one of the bar chairs in front of the counter ignoring the sound his wet trousers made when he did.

"Don't you want something warm", Emma asked and surrounded the counter.

"Rum", was all he said while he obviously was freezing.

Emma placed a glass on the surface and filled it with the drink he wanted. Even before she had closed the bottle he had drank it out and placed it in front of her again. She filled it again and he repeated his action.

"You really should drink something else."

"Why?"

"Because the alcohol will pretend you were feeling warm enough while you'll actually be freezing all the time. Something warm would really warm you up so you won't catch a cold."

He eyes met hers, "if I'll catch a cold, it'll be your fault."

Emma frowned, "no."

"You pushed her at me."

"Yes, but it's you who won't do something against your freezing and keeps drinking alcohol instead."

He sighed before he took a look around like he had suddenly noticed something, "where is Neal?"

"Not home yet."

"Do you want something else to wear?"

He looked up to her in surprise, "what?"

Emma pointed at his wet black shirt that was stitching to his skin and his wet trousers, "you're all wet. I could give you something dry you could wear instead."

He frowned, "Love I don't really think your cloths would be fine for me."

"What? No", she frowned, "I was talking of something from David or Neal."

Hook chuckled, "so you're finally normal again."

"What does that mean?"

"That means you owe me."

She frowned, "you just crashed into my flat, left puddles of water all over my place drank my rum and when I offer you something dry to wear you tell me I owed you?"

"Of course you do."

"Why?"

He grinned, "because it's your fault that I'm here like this now to begin with."

"What", She said in disbelieve, "I didn't ask her to push you into the water. After everything I've done now you're the one who owes me."

Hell he had missed their bickering, "you brought her on my ship and left me alone with her even though I didn't want to have her there."

"You can't blame me for her actions if you're not able to treat her well."

"Treat her….", he broke off and jumped off the chair, "treat her….what? I didn't get in her way, all I did was looking out to the stars. And then that wicked woman showed up behind me and pushed me into the water with an "I have an idea" on her lips."

"Do you want something dry to wear now or not?"

Hook sighed and sank back on his chair, "no."

Emma frowned, "how can a grown up man like you be so stubborn?"

"I like my cloths."

"And I didn't ask you to burn them or something like that. I just asked you to change into something dry."

He looked down on himself, "fine. But not from Neal."

Emma frowned, "why?"

"If it's something from David I can give it back to him when I see him tomorrow."

Emma shrugged and got him something before he entered the bathroom and changed. When he came back outside again a hot cup of coffee was already waiting for him at the counter.

"Thank you", he said as silent as she almost wasn't able to hear it at all, before he sipped at his cup.

"Don't mind", she looked down at her own cup and leaned back at the counter behind her.

"Where is Neal?"

"Visiting old friends."

"Like in the Darlings?"

"Yes."

He watched her for a long moment, "don't worry."

She looked up to him in surprise.

"They are his family. Maybe they even are everything he ever had that came close to a family."

Emma stepped closer without leaving him out of her eyes, "what do you know about them?"

Hook hesitated, "not much. When I fished him out of the water in Neverland he kept talking of them and when I send him…away…he asked me to take him back to them referring to them as his family."

"I see."

"He just said that this Wendy had gotten herself involved with Pan's shadow and that he had wanted her brothers in return for something she had done. But her youngest brother had even been younger than him when Milah had left him so he had jumped in between and had offered himself for them."

Emma stared at him unable to understand why Neal wouldn't tell her about this himself. It was nothing to feel guilty for or something like that. It was more the other way around. Deep down her soul there was a place where she believed there were only two possible reasons he didn't tell her anything about the Darlings. The first one was that it really was unimportant to him and he didn't want to bore her and the other one was that he was too afraid to tell her anything because they were way too important to him, especially this Wendy Darling.

She looked down at her cup and frowned. If it was the last reason then why…

"You still owe me", Hook disturbed her thoughts and grinned into his cup.

"I thought we sorted that one out and made clear that you owe me", she smiled back at him immediately.

He drank out his cup in one big sip, stood up again and surrounded the counter to place it in the sink, "yeah, we did. You just didn't get that we agreed on you owing me."

She could feel a sensation that was somehow familiar to her. Watching him standing in front of her like that in a black shirt and some sport trousers from David and his hook and that thing he needed to keep it in place with that flirty smile on his lips she remembered the moment before they had kissed back in Neverland. It wasn't a bad sensation, far from that, but it somehow frightened her. She was with Neal, she couldn't feel like that around another man not even Hook! Or was it because of Hook that she couldn't feel like that?

She shut that voice down that made her question everything and smiled back at him before she even really knew what she was doing, "and what do you think is the reason I owe you?"

He stepped closer, "you brought Tinkerbelle on my ship, which is why I'm locked out now, got all wet and have to spent my time with an annoying pixie."

Emma crossed her arms in front of her chest, "you came here, ruined my floor and got not just a hot cup of coffee but also some of David's cloths so you won't catch a cold. Maybe were even."

"No, we're not."

"And why would that be?"

He stared into her eyes for a long moment, before he suddenly stepped back and took a look around, "because I don't have a place to stay now."

A laugh escaped her lips and he glared at her again.

"Sorry", she said but there was no way he'd believe her that. She wouldn't have done that herself, if she was honest.

A moment passed where they stood together in silence. He kept avoiding her eyes. That was strange he never did something like that. He was always straight forward.

"Look, you are both grown up. I'm sure you'll find a way to get along until she's finally put aside her issues with the Blue Fairy."

Hook slowly looked at her again and sighed, "where is Henry?"

"With Regina. She picked him up after school today", she said and noticed that she was slowly getting used to their little agreement about him. Regina was really trying hard to be a better person for Henry and she appreciated that. Besides that Emma was quite sure that Henry wouldn't want to spent his time with her any longer if she wasn't trying so hard.

"And your parents?"

"Out on a date", she grinned into her cup and remembered what Mary Margarete had said in the Echo cave about wanting another run for a family. She stopped herself from thinking any further about it. Even though they hadn't been a real family and it had taken her a long time to get used to their strange family constellation she didn't want to imagine anything about her parents when it was about getting another child.

She frowned. Why was he always asking that when he showed up at hers?

"Well, maybe I do owe you", she heard herself say after a long moment and placed her cup beside his in the sink, "she had no place to stay and you were her only option after all. So thank you."

Hook stared at her for a long moment and crossed his arms in front of his chest like he was trying to understand what he had in front of him.

"What?"

"I'm just thinking."

"About what", she didn't feel comfortable with this. Something was odd.

"How you can pay me back", he grinned and his finger trailed off again but this time only to his cheek.

Emma smiled knowingly and stepped closer to him, "and you think you deserve that?"

"After everything that's already happened to me because of her, yes."

There it was again. That sensation… Emma ignored her worries, placed a hand on his left shoulder and kissed him on his cheek. When she leaned back again their eyes met and before she knew what was going on or who of them had started it, she felt his lips on hers and his skin and the fabric of the shirt she had lend to him under her hands where she touched his chest and his neck.

The kiss wasn't fierce like their last one in Neverland, but somehow it seemed to electrify her lips and send chills down her body. She lost herself in the sensation of his mouth on hers his tongue massaging hers and his taste of rum, coffee and man. It had happened too sudden and it was too soft so it almost hurt to wait for the next movement. He was kissing her like he had centuries to make it more intense, like he had more than one lifetime to do it, what nearly drove her nuts.

A sound at the door reminded her of where she was and what she was actually doing. She stepped back almost at the same time as he did. They stared at each other without saying a word like they had been caught doing something forbidden by each other.

The door opened and Henry came into the loft. Emma didn't really notice it, since she was too confused of what just had happened and what she had just done, until he said, "hey mom. What is Hook doing here?"

"Henry", she whispered without looking at him before she snapped out of her trance and turned to face him, "Henry! Why are you here? What happened?"

She surrounded the counter and walked up to him. She was worried something could have happened at Regina's because it was strange for him to show up that late at night all alone. And he was the perfect excuse to get as much space between herself and Hook as possible.

But Henry kept starring at Hook, "I thought you wouldn't want to be alone and came home. Why is Hook here?"

He had whispered his question and held back a smile now. She could see it since his mouth kept twitching.

Emma looked back at the pirate who seemed just as confused as her and obviously was still lost in his thoughts and swallowed, "Tinkerbelle locked him out of his ship and pushed him into the water."

"Tinkerbelle?"

"Yes", said Hook and she winced at the sound of his voice. He had obviously snapped out of it as well now and reached for his wet clothes Emma had hung up on the chairs surrounding the huge table in the middle of the room, "and your mother was so kind to…"

"Give him some dry clothes", she finished his sentence before he could say something ambiguous like "warm me up" or something. She wasn't sure she could handle that now. Maybe she would just freak out and lose her mind.

Henry frowned and stared at them, while Hook approached them and left through the door into the night, "you're acting strange."

"Why didn't you stay at Regina's", Emma asked ignoring his comment and focusing on him now. She was curious, "it's already late, Henry. You shouldn't be out anymore and especially not on your own."

Henry smiled like he was the most innocent boy in the world, "I'm sorry."

"Okay. But don't do it again", Emma took his jacket and hung it at the wardrobe. Secretly she was glad he had showed up or she wouldn't know what would have happened. Would she have lost her mind and done something she would regret forever? Would she have made a step further and would have destroyed more than she already had between them?

Emma swallowed hard, "does Regina even know you're here?"

He looked at his shoes, "I'm sure she hasn't even noticed it yet."

"What", she frowned and stared at him, "what does that mean? You just ran away again? Why, kid?"

He ignored her questions and tried to change the subject, "why did Tinkerbelle lock out Hook?"

The boy was quite good at picking a subject to distract her.

---

"So", Tinkerbelle welcomed him on deck of his own ship, "did it work?"

"Did what work", he asked in annoyance and managed to hold back is anger somehow. He had expected himself to explode right into her face if she'd have the guts to show up in front of him again this night.

Tinkerbelle looked at him like she didn't believe what he said, "oh come on. Don't tell me it didn't. I just pushed you into the water so you would go to her and have a nice little chat about your relationship."

Hook stared at her in disbelieve, "that's what all this was about?"

"Of course", she said confused now, "what did you think? I'd told you about it before I pushed you, remember?"

Actually no. He had stopped listening to her after around five minutes of talking his ears off, "I didn't agree to any of that."

"Not important now", she appeased him, "all that's important now is: did it work?"

He didn't answer her, but when he went into his cabin again, a small smile appeared on his lips.

---

Emma sighed. It was useless to think about it and she knew it, but she just couldn't stop wondering how that kiss had happened in the first place. Maybe it was because of her guilty conscience towards Neal? She knew she shouldn't have done that and the more she thought about it and remembered how she had enjoyed it, the more guilty she felt. Deep down her soul she thought if she would find an answer to the how and why she could make sure she'd never do it again. And one thing was clear, it would never happen again even if it meant to avoid Hook for the rest of her life. As it seemed she wasn't the only one thinking that way. He hadn't shown up at the office or any other place where she was since they had that…accident…a week ago.

Even David had noticed his missing appearance since it had become something like a habit for Hook to hang around. Her father was suddenly standing in front of her desk now, his arms crossed in front of her chest, "don't you think it's strange Hook isn't showing up here anymore?"

She looked up from her newspaper and met his frowning, "maybe he just doesn't want to."

"Or Tinkerbelle has done something again."

"I doubt that", Emma looked back at her newspaper again, but she didn't read. Henry had told her whole family about that evening when he had found Hook and her in the kitchen to avoid scolding for running away from Regina that night. She hadn't even been able to stop him or she would have exposed herself as the one who was trying to keep it a secret.

Of course it had been of no use for Henry and he had been scolded not just from her, but also from Mary Margaret, David and especially from Regina. When Emma had called her that night she had been more than angry and if Emma wasn't mistaken she had heard something in her voice that sounded hurt. Henry had told her that Robin had showed up later on that night with his boy. She believed Henry had been jealous of them. Regina felt guilty that was clear. Something they had in common now with the little difference that Regina didn't have to, but she definitely had.

"Did you two have an argument, Emma?"

She snapped out of her thoughts and looked at David. That man had a too well sense for something being wrong sometimes.

"No", which was true. You couldn't argue with someone if you didn't see each other.

"Then it's got to be Tink."

Logical way of thinking, Emma thought, but wrong conclusion, "don't you think that's a little far fetched? Maybe he just didn't want to come or something else happened."

"You're right", David said and when she already was about to relax again he added, "maybe we should check on him."

When she stared up at him again, he was already grabbing his jacket from the wardrobe beside the door to their office. Emma hesitated and watched him putting his arms into the jacket and closing it. She wasn't ready to see him again. What they had done…-the accident-… had been wrong in almost every possible way. Wait almost, she scolded herself, no! In really every possible way.

When they had finally gotten back from Neverland all together without having to leave anyone behind, she had decided to give Neal another chance and she really meant it! She wanted to give him another go and she wanted to keep her promise to do so. They had been separated for such along time and they had a lot to get used to after all those years of separation not to mention what they had to work up. Of course it couldn't be like back then when they had fallen for each other the first time again just now. They needed time to mend their wounds and to open up to each other again.

Neal had been so happy when she had told him she'd give him another go. He had hugged her until she hadn't been able to breath again. He had kissed her and she had lost herself in the well known sensation of it.

Not to mention how happy Henry had been to see them back together. The boy she loved more than anyone in the world. The boy she would give her live for. The boy who had forgiven her lying to him and giving him away right after his birth. The boy who believed in her even though she had done all that to that extend that Pan never had a chance on him in Neverland. The boy who would be more than disappointed to hear that she kissed another man but her father even though they were back together - after raising up his hope of a normal family. The boy who would never be able to forgive her if she'd destroy the save little bubble they were living in now through something like a kiss that happened out of nowhere and was leading nowhere.

Emma sighed. She had a guilty conscience not just because of Neal, which would've already been bad enough, but because of her son as well, which was worse than anything else.

Sure one could say a kiss didn't mean that much and wasn't as bad as sleeping with him instead of Neal and that it was meaningless even more since she wasn't going to let it happen again. One could say she had kissed him before and that it was useless to have a guilty conscience because of it now. But things were different now. Back than she hadn't been together with Neal. She had believed he was dead when she had kissed Hook for the first time. And she couldn't even explain how it had happened in the first place this time. Maybe it had been just a kiss, but a kiss…

A kiss could be so much. A kiss could be just a touch of lips and skin to show gratitude. A kiss could mean the love of parents for their kids and the other way around. A kiss could be a sign of friendship as long as it wasn't placed on the lips. A kiss could just be a sign for support.

But then there were kisses that made you feel save and loved like you already knew it. Kisses that made sure it was just a one time thing and would never happen again. Kisses that scared you because they happened out of nowhere and showed you what you obviously had missed about your own feelings. Kisses that scared you because they were so intense and so sudden that you were sure you'd never let them happen again, because you were too scared of what would happen then. Kisses that were soft and warm and filled with love, that showed you you'd never be alone again. Kisses that showed you where you belonged to. And others that made you feel owned by the person who gave it to you. There were kisses that could drive you insane through being soft and lacy just to turn on your lust. And then there were kisses that were magical. Those were making you feel like you're whole body was electrified. It made you feel warm around your heart even before it got intense so your heart starts to burn within an eye blink pumping lave through your veins instead of pure blood. Sending chills down your body and reaching you everywhere from the little toe to the tips of your hair. Those send you sensation through the whole body, until every touch every caress of hands or skin makes you lose your mind when it becomes fierce and all that's left is love and first of all lust. It was magic in its purest form.

Emma frowned. Her kiss with Hook hadn't been magic. But it had been more than just feeling saved and loved. It had been…

"Emma?"

She snapped out of it and stared at David who was frowning at her, "what?"

"I just asked you if you weren't coming along?"

"Oh", she looked down at her hands and noticed that she was creasing the newspaper in her hands. She let go of it and tried to smooth it again a little nervously. She felt David's worried gaze on her, "no. I stay here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes", she looked up to him again and smiled. She didn't want to see him again now. Not if thinking of what they'd done was still so confusing to her that she couldn't control her own actions anymore. She didn't even want to imagine what he would say. She knew him too well to know he wouldn't just drop it and she didn't want to hear any of his innuendos in front of David. She didn't want to have to answer David's questions after listening to him.

She froze. She couldn't not come along. She had no idea of what he would tell David to explain his absence lately. The pirate hadn't even been able to keep that little kiss in Neverland a secret. She ignored the small voice that told her, that she had been the first one to drop it and heard his voice in her ears telling her father, "sorry, David. Didn't want to make you worry. But you know, after kissing Emma again, I just thought, I should stay away from you guys, before she looses control again. Don't want to be stuck between her and Neal."

Okay, maybe he'd never say it like that, but in the end David would think exactly that and the cat would be out of the back anyway no matter what his exact words would be.

She felt her smile vanish into something else she couldn't really describe. David was looking at her more than worried now. Emma took another breath and bit her bottom lip, "you know what? I've changed my mind. I'd need some fresh air", she grabbed her jacket from the back of her chair and left the room before he could even react to her sudden change of mind, "come on."

"Are you sure you're alright", he asked when he caught up to her and lead her to his car, "you're strange today, Emma."

---

Hook had gotten himself a pair of those earplugs people used to put into their ears if something was too loud for them or as in his case, if they didn't want to hear anything. Anything as in a fairy grumbling about another fairy all the time around him ever since he had told her, he wouldn't visit Emma again.

He sighed, rolled his eyes and looked out to the sea while she kept walking up and down his ship gesturing with her hinds. He wasn't interested in her problems with the Blue Fairy and even though he had told her to back off and leave him alone she didn't. Maybe the universe was coming back at him now for all the things he'd done ever since his brother had died and even more for what he'd done after Milah's death.

He heard his own voice in his ears telling himself instead of Rumplestiltskin, "a man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets" and shut it down again like every time ever since Neverland. Back then he would have never thought he'd end up like that. He'd never thought his own words would crash back into his own face again one day. But there was something he hadn't understood when he had said it to Rumplestiltskin, something he understood now even though he almost couldn't bear it. That loving someone wasn't about what you wanted yourself, but about what you wanted for the person you loved. He had never been in that position before. Not even with Milah, since she had loved him back and they had been happy with each other. But now everything was different. He mustn't think about what he deserved but about what Emma did. And one thing was clear, she deserved better than him. She deserved to be happy and to have her dreams come true even if that meant to be with Neal and not with him.

But he wasn't foolish enough to believe he was like the old crocodile now. He wouldn't pull at her arm to force her to be with him. He would give her free if she wanted him to do so. He would leave the choice to her.

She already has made her choice, a mean little voice whispered in the back of his mind. It sounded like Pan. He had a bad taste on his tongue.

Someone grabbed his shoulder and turned him around. David was suddenly standing in front of him. The man seemed worried when he looked down at him. Hook pulled the earplugs out of his ears, "what's wrong mate?"

David looked at the earplugs in his hand before he looked back up to him, "that's what we wanted to ask you."

He frowned, "why?"

"We haven't seen you for almost a week", the prince explained and let go of his shoulder, "thought something was up. Are you okay? Henry told me about what Tinkerbelle did to you."

"And you thought she had done what", he asked a little amused, "she'd taken of my head or something?"

He smiled back at him, "so what were you doing all the time? Neither of us has seen you ever since."

"I've relaxed", he said after a little moment of thinking, "by the way. I've still got your cloths. Should have given them back already."

"That's not so important. We're just glad you're alright. Next time you take a time off, at least tell us. You really had us worried."

Hook frowned. Why was he always talking of himself in the third person? He surrounded him to walk back to his cabin and get his cloths. So Henry had told him. He couldn't help but be disappointed Emma hadn't said anything. Now it was clear. She would have kept his visit - if you wanted to call it like that - secret if her boy wouldn't suddenly have stood in the door to disturb them. Even though it had been clear in the first place he felt disappointed. No, it wasn't just that. He was hurt.

Hook frowned and stopped. When he was finally paying attention to his surroundings again, he noticed Emma standing beside Tinkerbelle next to the plank to his ship. So that's why David had been talking of himself in third person.

Their eyes met and he could almost feel the wall she pulled up between them like she was throwing every single brick into his face.

She was angry? Fine. He could be, too.

He passed her like she wasn't there and left the deck to get David's cloths.

"So? Are you satisfied now", Emma said annoyed, "he is just fine."

"He didn't hear you", Tinkerbelle threw in, "I wouldn't call that fine."

David held up the earplugs he had gotten from Hook, "that was because of those."

"What is that?"

While her father answered Tinkerbelle's question, Emma got lost in her thoughts again. Just why was she annoyed now? When they had come on deck, she had been nervous and when Hook hadn't answered her, she had thought he was playing stupid games now. She had still believed that, when he had suddenly looked at her. She had believed he'd greed her and come up with some innuendos. She had even braced herself for it. But instead he had just ignored her like she wasn't even there and had disappeared under deck. She felt her anger run through her veins. Who did he think he was?

"What", she heard Tinkerbelle beside her almost scream, "he did what? How dare he? I'm talking of my problems and he just ignores me?"

David sighed and met her eyes. When he noticed how tense she was, he frowned.

"Don't take it to heart", Emma tried to calm her and ignored David's frown, "just be glad he let's you stay here. How are the Blue Fairy and you getting along?"

"Not so well, I'd say", she heard his voice from behind her, when he suddenly came back on deck, "that's why I needed the earplugs."

Tinkerbelle glared at him, before she climbed up the main mast and left them alone. Emma watched her until she couldn't see her anymore, "is that typical?"

"Lately, yes", he sighed behind her when he gave David his clothes back.

"Glad you're getting along", David said with a smile on his lips.

"If you call using earplugs and avoiding each other through climbing up the main mast getting along, then yes", Emma said and wished she could disappear just like her. She felt his gaze on her. She was still avoiding his eyes.

"Are we done here", she asked David, "are you satisfied now?"

David stared at them and noticed the glare Hook shot her and how she was ignoring him, "no. Okay guys. What's wrong with you?"

They stared at him, "nothing."

They froze and Emma bit her bottom lip looking out to the sea. She seemed more than annoyed now. If he didn't know his daughter better he'd say she was about to explode.

"Thank you for worrying about me", Hook said a little too sarcastic.

"Don't laugh at him", Emma shot back.

"I wasn't talking with him."

"Oh, I see", she said a little too softly, "then thank you for taking such great care of Tinkerbelle."

Hook rolled his eyes, "may I remind you, that you forced her on me?"

"You didn't have a problem with it."

"I did", he pointed out, "you just ignored it."

"You know what", David said slowly and carefully since he didn't want to get a part of their fight, "I guess, I'll go back to my car now and you can spent a little time with each other to solve your issues."

Emma stared at him like he had slapped her, "no. There is no need for that. Let's just drive back."

"No need", he said in disbelieve, "Emma you two aren't even looking at each other."

"I am looking at her."

"Killing her with your glare isn't defined as looking, Hook", he said without leaving his daughter out of sight, "we don't have time for this. We need to work together, just like we did in Neverland. Pan or Gold's father or whatever you want to call him is still out there somewhere not to mention that strange "home office", we've still in our backs. And just like you said back in Neverland, we need to work together in order to survive. So get it over with. I'll wait in the car."

She watched him walk off in annoyance.

"Well", she heard Hook say beside her, "he's got a point there."

Emma sighed and looked out to the sea, "you know you really could be little nicer to Tinkerbelle."

Hook followed her to the railing after a moment and frowned, "so this is about her?"

She turned around to face him, "of course, what else?"

Was it just her or was he disappointed? He took a breath, "maybe about us?"

She rolled her eyes. She really didn't want to talk about that.

"Don't roll your eyes like it was… ridiculous", he said and walked up to her, "there was something and we need to talk about it."

"Why", she shot him a glare, "why do we need to talk about it? It happened and now it's over. That's all to it."

"It's all", he heard himself growl, "we kissed. Again!"

"So what?"

"Why?"

Emma stared at him, "I don't know. Maybe it just happened."

He tried to hold back. He really tried to put her first, but there was something inside of him, he couldn't ignore or burry under her decision to simply forget it. He couldn't just burry that voice under his pain. He needed to go through it completely so he might finally be able to let go of her.

"Something like that doesn't just happen, love."

"And what's your smart explanation for it?"

He stopped. He wouldn't walk that plank, "the problem here is that you're building a barricade between us."

"I'm what", she asked confused, "no." Emma didn't like what the sound of his "us" did to her. She didn't want to hear it ever again! There was no "us" between them, "you're the one who didn't show up a whole week."

"To give you space."

"And now I'm the one who's blocking you?"

"That's not what I'm talking about", he said confused himself now.

Emma glared at him when she said with a calm voice, "then please explain it to me. What do you mean? What are you talking about?"

Before he knew what he did it burst out of him, "I'm talking about you're walls you create around you every time you see me. The walls you use to protect yourself from everyone. I know them, I have them, too."

She stared at him like he had slapped, while he added, "I can almost see them even though I don't understand why would you need them all of a sudden now again. If this kiss really didn't mean anything, you wouldn't need them."

She stared at him a little longer like she was trying to sort out, what he had just thrown into her face. And if he wasn't mistaken, he saw fear shining in her eyes. But he wasn't sure about it since her walls were still up.

She would have stepped back, if the railing wouldn't already have been in her back. Was it true? Was she really keeping her walls between them, because she didn't want to admit feelings for him? Sure she liked him, but she didn't love him. She couldn't love him! She had Neal and Henry and he was just the pirate she had been fighting a couple of weeks ago. There couldn't be more than friendship. The kiss had been a weak moment, nothing more. It hadn't been a sign of feelings for him that were beyond that.

But if there was weakness there had to be she was longing for so she could become weak for it, a small voice deep down her soul told her. Emma locked it deep down her soul in the chest she usually used for things like that. In the past she had kept her hurt feelings and her sorrow for Neal in there. Now she was locking what she didn't want to face concerning Hook in it. She checked the locks. She'd need to add some more for the future.

There was no explanation for what they had done last week. There was only a solution and that was to never let it happen again. They would work together again and they would be able to look at each other without getting involved with each other like that again. She didn't want it and the next time he would try to kiss her, she would just push him away and avoid him, until he'd come back to his senses again.

She felt something on her lips and snapped out of her thoughts. It was so gentle and soft that she just stared at him for a moment. He was kissing her again, she noticed with shock. She would push him away like she had told herself. She stared at his closed eyes. His face seemed so soft just like his lips on hers.

But she'd shove him off now.

Or maybe in a minute. His lips brushed over hers. She could feel his warm breath while his smell of rum, leather, sea and man reached her nose. His right hand was lying on her cheek and ran down her skin until his fingertips reached the hairline in her neck.

She would shove him off every moment now.

But it felt so good. Her mouth was getting dry, even though he was just brushing her lips without really kissing her. His beard was scratching her skin at her chin softly. She hadn't even noticed that she had closed her eyes.

But she would shove him off now.

Her hands were grabbing the wood of the railing in her back. It was an attempt to stop herself of touching him. Her mouth was so dry now, that she almost couldn't swallow anymore. She wetted her lips and he kissed her.

It was now that she understood that he had given her the chance to push him off and tell him that there was nothing between them, but she hadn't taken it. Instead of that she had invited him in through licking her lips like she was hungry for him.

Maybe I am, she thought as she tasted in his mouth what the scent in his breath had promised her before: rum and man. He wrapped his hooked arm around her waist and pulled her closer while he explored her mouth with his tongue, softly massaging hers with it. He pulled her inside his mouth and she found it harder to keep her hands on the railing in her back. She wanted to press herself tighter to his body, to explore his chest under his black vest and his black shirt, but she resisted the temptation and bowed back her head to make it easier for him to kiss her. His fingers in her hair scratched softly but longingly over her skin and a moan escaped her mouth.

He stopped and leaned his forehead against hers like they had done it in the enchanted forest to catch a breath. He was breathing as hard as her. She opened her eyes again and stared at his mouth in front of her. She tried to steady her breath looked up into his eyes.

Just when he reached for her mouth again, she stepped back out of his hug and stared at him.

She had done it again. How could she?

She met Hook's confused expression that turned into a confused stare when he noticed how unsettled she was now.

"What have you done", she whispered with her voice shaking.

He frowned, "what?"

"What have you done", she asked again even though she knew the question should actually be "what have I done".

Hook stepped back. Right! Hook! It wasn't just him anymore. It was Hook again now. She had completely forgotten everything around her. Not just where they were or that her father was waiting for her in his car or that Tinkerbelle was up the main mast above them, but also who they where. There hadn't been Henry or Neal in the world but just them. The nameless beings they had turned into. Beings that just touched and felt.

Neal…her guilty conscience crashed back at her.

"I'm…", he started like he wanted to apologize. But he changed his mind and just closed his mouth, staring at their feet like he was confused himself now. After a moment he tried again, "I didn't want to push you."

"But you did", she heard herself say even though she knew it was a lie. She knew he had given her the opportunity to back off. Otherwise she wouldn't have been able to tell herself she would just let it last for single more minute.

He stared at her like she had slapped her and she felt guilty again.

His eyes darkened slightly. He was hurt, "well, I won't apologize for it, if that's what you want."

Did she want that? Hell, she didn't know what she wanted. She had no idea except for one thing, "will you tell anybody about it?"

His eyes met hers and grew even darker. He pointed at the plank that lead to the docks, "I guess you should leave now."

Emma backed off and walked away as fast as possible without running. She didn't dare to turn to look at him again or even worse to ask her question again. She had hurt him more than she had imagined it to be possible. She hadn't wanted to do it. Before she had known what she was doing the question had been out.

She couldn't believe how stupid she had been. She knew him. He'd never hurt her like that. He'd never tell anybody about it. And to think he might do it, to really think this to be possible had hurt him more than anything now. It hurt her to see him that hurt.

Emma build up her walls again. It was the only way to hide how hurt she was now. If it wasn't for her walls David would know that something was odd immediately. If not for her walls she would break down and she would never stop crying out her misery.

She still couldn't believe that she had asked him that. Or even worse that she had kissed him again. She couldn't believe that she had forgotten everything around them, that all that had mattered to her had been them.

Tinkerbelle.

She was up the main mast. She could only hope the pixie hadn't seen anything. Emma became nervous when she opened the door to David's car and sat down on the passenger seat next to him.

"Everything sorted out between you to now", he greeted her when he started the engine. He seemed a little worried when he looked at her pale face. She knew she was pale, she saw it in the thin reflection of herself in the car's window.

Her voice sounded far away and emotionless, "yes."

---

Tinkerbelle leaned back at the strong wood of the main mast in her back and watched the man in front of her, who was still standing where he had frozen to stone when Emma had asked him to keep it a secret. She wasn't sure if she really should talk to him now. His body emitted an aura of anger like she hadn't seen it for a very long time.

She bit her bottom lip, "what now?"

He winced almost imperceptibly together like she had tried to knock him out with a huge piece of wood, before he turned to look at her, "not now."

She looked into his eyes and was glad to see what she saw. That wasn't the cold man she had met in Neverland for the first time. There was no lust for murder in his eyes or the aura of recklessness around him. There was just pain and sadness.

"If not now then when", she asked in a challenging voice.

He glared at her and before she knew what to do, he slammed his hook into the mast right beside her head. He was breathing hard and clenched his teeth together when he growled, "never."

Maybe it was time to back off. But there was no place she could go to as long has he held her captured between the mast and himself. Tinkerbelle cooled down her fear and stared back into his eyes, when she said with a cold voice, "or what? Are you going to kill me?"

"Don't try me."

"You'd never do that", she said and pushed him off, "you're not that person anymore. Hook isn't the whole you anymore."

"He is still there", he said warningly.

"Right now all I see is a very hurt man, who is fighting himself for what he wants and what is right", Tinkerbelle said coldly and made him frown, "and I don't get it at all, sorry."

"You don't get what?"

"Why you're fighting at all, of course."

He was still breathing hard and she knew that he was holding back tears since he wasn't the person to cry like a baby. He had never been that person. He was the kind of person who buried his pain deep down his soul under anger and cruelty.

Hook frowned, "you of all people should understand that."

"Why?"

"You're a fairy. Don't you guys claim to understand feelings and reasons the best? How else do you interfere in other people's lives if not?"

"Of course", she said slowly, "but without you telling me, what is going on, there is no way to understand anything of it. You can't know what's going on in a head or a soul of another person if they don't talk about it. That's impossible even for us."

He sighed and sank back at the railing again holding himself up with his hand and his hook. He stared at the planks of the Jolly Roger's deck under his feet, "I…I love Emma."

"I know", she said softly, "that's why I don't understand you keep holding back and play along in this strange back and forth that hurts you so much."

He clenched his teeth again, "she is with Neal…Bealfire. They have a family. She loves him."

"No she doesn't", Tinkerbelle said without hesitation and he stared up to her in surprise and denial.

"How can you know that? You just told me, that you couldn't know about the true feelings and thoughts of another person without them spelling them out, didn't you?"

"Sometimes actions speak louder than words", she countered and approached him slowly, "do you really think Regina would have made a wish upon a star back than or that she was crying openly because of her live? No. She almost fell from her balcony when she was staring out in the night all lonely and sad. And do you really believe Emma wouldn't be able to keep her distance to you if she loved Neal? Do you really believe she wouldn't have shoved you off if that was true?"

"She chose Neal", he stated, "and she pushed me off."

"She chose Neal because it was easy. Because she has nothing more to fear from him than that he could leave her again, even though I've got to admit that this already seems to be hard enough", Tinkerbelle explained to him, "she doesn't love him. That's not love. That's sticking to old habits, Hook. She doesn't love him, she loves the memory of their love and how it is to be with him because of that."

He frowned at her still not willing to believe her.

"Oh come on", she said challenging, "why don't you want to believe me?"

Hook hesitated for a moment, "because it would kill me to find out that you are wrong after all, when I let myself dream like that."

"I see", Tinkerbelle said slowly, "and what are you planning to do now?"

"I'll just…"

"If you say leave now, I might want to hit you", she cut him off.

He stared at her, "I'll try to go on like nothing had happened."

"That's impossible", she stated out, "you can't just go back to the time before you loved her."

"Why not?"

"Because that would mean you'd lose yourself again. If you want to achieve that you can ignore you're conscience right from the start and fight for her anyway."

Hook stared at her. He knew she was right, she could read it in his face.

"And what is your smart advice?"

Tinkerbelle smiled, "give her time to calm down. And then you try her."

"No."

"If it doesn't work you can still leave. Then you'll have a reason to leave and you can do it without any regrets", she threw in his face.

He stared at her. He knew she was right. To leave without it, would be worse than to stay without saying a word or trying to find out the truth. The old voice in the back of his mind that had kept telling him the line he had told Rumplestiltskin once about fighting for what one wanted screamed like it was about to go to war and waved it's fits through the air.

He frowned when he felt something he hadn't ever felt since Neverland. Hope.

---

Emma lay awake that night. She listened to Neal's steady and deep breath and watched him in the dark. She had tried to forget about those kisses, but she couldn't get rid of her guilty conscience. It was burning like fire inside of her.

This was insane! How could someone be together with a guy while she kept kissing another one? This wasn't right. It wasn't fair for Neal and not for Hook. And maybe not even for herself.

Neal turned around in his sleep so he was sleeping with his back to her now. She had missed him all those years. And she knew that she really did love him. There was no space for Hook!

She leaned at his back and nuzzled it. She breathed in his scent and closed her eyes. She really did love him and she was happy with him.

Even though he had spent his evening with Wendy again. Even though he didn't tell her anything about their times together just like he refused to talk about their history together.

Somehow that night was the most awfully she had ever spent. She had never felt that alone in her entire live before even though he was lying right next to her, where she could see, feel and smell him. Even though she could feel his heart beat underneath her hand and his hands holding hers in front of her chest when she hugged him from behind. It was strange.

And she knew as soon as she would close her eyes again, she would smell the sea and hear the seagulls above her head while she'd feel the soft touch of gentle lips on her mouth that send chills down her entire body.

Emma sighed. She hated her guilty conscience for punishing her like that.

The first days after their fight had been strange. She had felt like she was walking on eggs all the time and had felt guilty not just because of Neal and the kiss but also because of what she had said to Hook. But the strangest thing about it had been his behavior. He had acted like nothing had happened at all. While she kept worrying about it almost until her head hurt, he just kept going on like they had met for shopping and had argued about which trousers to buy the other time.

Ever since nothing had changed. He never talked with her about it or came too close to her or said something that would have been strange. He never hinted anything that would have given away what had happened to them to anyone. He acted like it had never happened and somehow she didn't like it. After almost two weeks she finally understood that she felt hurt because of that. It was like he was slapping her into her face every time they saw each other and he pretended nothing had happened on the Jolly Roger. It was strange to feel that way and she knew that. She should feel relieved and leave it behind just like he obviously had, but the truth was, she didn't.

She remembered his expression when she had asked him to keep it a secret more than clearly, just like she remembered the night after their latest kiss when she hadn't been able to sleep. Hell that evening she hadn't even been able look straight into Neal's eyes anymore. She had tried to avoid him until he had wrapped his arms around her to support her.

Emma shoved her mobile phone into the pockets of her jacket and looked at the children leaving the school bus in front of her. She was picking up Henry since Regina was a little too busy with her newfound true love Robin and Neal was on a little trip with the Darlings again.

Lately he had started to talk about them. He had told her how Wendy had found him in their dining room while he had been trying to steal some bread out of hunger. He had told her how he had played with Wendy and her brothers and how loving their parents had been. How they had taken him in and had treated him just like he had been their own son. He had told her like he had never felt as much as home as back then.

But he never told her how Wendy had gotten involved with Pan or why he had ended up in Neverland. She guessed he didn't want to blame anyone for it. Maybe he even wanted to protect Wendy through not telling the truth after everything Hook had told her. Maybe he didn't want to put her under a bad light in anyone's eyes.

"Mom", Henry yelled when he ran towards her. His bag was hanging from one shoulder and his scarf was floating through the air in front of his chest. His jacket was opened.

"Hey kid", she reached for both ends of it and used the sipper to close it again, "you know it's still too cold to run around like that, don't you?"

Henry rolled his eyes, "where is Neal?"

"On a trip with the Darlings", Emma explained and placed an arm around his shoulders, "what do you think about a burger at the diner?"

"With a cola?"

"Hm…", she said slowly, "well, I guess it can be forgiven if we sin just this one time."

He smiled back at her and walked with her in the direction of Granny's, "mom, are you happy?"

She stopped and looked at him, "of course."

Henry stared up to her, "I mean, really happy?"

"Yes", she said unable to understand what he was talking about, "I've got you. I've got Neal. And we have our lovely and strange family. What do I need more?"

"I see", he almost whispered and after a little moment a smile curled up his lips again, "may I get some chips as well?"

"Hungry today, aren't you", she laughed.

They were already eating when she couldn't help but ask him. His question had been nagging on her ever since he had asked it. She hadn't intended to pay any more attention to it, but somehow she couldn't help it. She was worried. Why did he suddenly ask something like that? Wasn't he happy? Or was it because of her that he thought he had to ask her about it? Was something wrong she hadn't noticed yet? Did he get a wrong impression about something? Maybe about Neal spending most of the time with the Darlings while she was working?

"Henry", she said slowly over her chips away, "what was your question really about?"

"What do you mean", he asked and took a big bite of his burger.

"Why did you ask that?"

He placed the rest of the burger slowly in front of him on the plate and looked down at it. He frowned, like he wasn't sure if he should talk about it. She had seen that expression before back when she hadn't believed him about the book and her own history.

"You know, you can tell me everything", she said softly to encourage him.

Henry sighed, "well, Regina is with Robin now."

"So?"

"They look so different together", he said slowly and almost as silent as she didn't hear it, "they laugh and spent almost every possible minute together even with his son."

"And you feel left behind?"

"No. They always include me, if I'm there", Henry clarified, "it's just…they have that atmosphere around them."

"What atmosphere?"

"Like they really love each other and are really happy together."

Emma sighed and smiled at him, "you know every pair is different. You can't really compare one to another one."

"But Mary Margaret and David have it either", he said trying to make his point clear, "you can almost feel how happy they are around them. How much they love each other, you can see that in every move they make. They are always thinking of each other first."

"So", her mouth was getting dry.

Henry looked down at his hands and licked his lips just like his was drying either, "I don't know. I just thought I should ask you, if you were happy."

"Because you think your father and me aren't like the others."

His eyes met hers drawn in a curious frown, "Neal is never there. He is always together with the Darlings. You're alone so often. You spent more time with me and David than with him. You even spent more time with Hook than with him. And so does he with the Darlings and Wendy."

Emma stared at him unable to say anything for a long moment. It was true. He had a point there, she had to admit. But that didn't mean they weren't happy together. Well…she understood that the problem was the word together.

"Don't worry", she said softly and placed a hand on his, "we're happy. And we love each other."

He gave it a thought but she didn't have the impression he really believed her.

"More cola", asked Ruby when she came to their table to pick up the finished plates in front of them.

Henry looked down on his hands and shook his head slightly. He seemed sad.

"Henry what can I say to see you happy again", she asked carefully.

"I'm not sad", he explained, "I'm just worried."

She smiled at him. She loved him so much!

"You don't need to be", she tried to convince him, "that's my task you know? Aren't you happy?"

His eyes met hers, "sure. But I would be more happy if you were as well."

She leaned back and laughed, "but I am."

They looked at each other for a long moment until she decided it was time to change the subject, "so what do we do now?"

A smile appeared on his lips that even reached his eyes now, "can we visit Grace?"

Jefferson's daughter had fallen from a tree last week and now her right leg was broken. Since Jefferson's house was outside the town in the woods and she was at home again now, it was a bit difficult for Henry to visit her alone.

Emma smiled, "I'll take you there."

He smiled at her and her world was fine again.

---

"It's almost been a month now", Tinkerbelle said over her glass of water. She had refused to drink his rum claiming it to be something bad and dirty and that she couldn't drink even one sip since she was a fairy and as such she was supposed to be good and pure.

He had told her that there was nothing dirty about it and that his rum might be a lot but that there was no way it was anything even close to bad, before he had mocked her about the of her claimed purity which he really couldn't see in her considering their past in Neverland.

He nodded and she continued, "you really have stayed back from her for quite a while."

Hook smiled at his flask and took another sip from it. In those past weeks he had had a lot of opportunities to show his affection to Emma. Some of them would have taken her completely off guard. But he hadn't wanted to push her. Their last argument was still ringing in his ears even though it had been weeks since he had thrown her off his ship, which was something he regretted deep down his soul. But if he thought about it he couldn't have done anything else in that moment. He had felt like she had sliced a sword through an opened wound and it had burned like the hell's fire.

Maybe a month had been a bit too long, but if he was honest to himself he had been a little scared even though he'd never admit it to anyone. What if she'd push him away again? Would he destroy their newfound friendship again and lose her completely? Could he survive something like back then again? It had taken him almost two weeks to assure her that she had nothing to worry about anymore, because he wouldn't do anything again. Since he knew her well enough he hadn't told her so but proofed it to her through his actions.

"Don't tell me you've given up on her", the fairy said a little worried and caught his attention again, "after all that drama it would be kind of disappointing, you know?"

He stared at her for a long moment before he answered her, not because he had to think about it but because he thought it to be obvious, "Tink, I've spent more than three hundred years hunting for revenge at that…creature…that had killed the woman I'd loved. Do you really think I would just…I could just stop loving the only woman I've ever loved since my Milah died?"

Tinkerbelle smiled just like she was relieved to hear that, "so why are you hesitating now? Still worried I might be wrong about what I told you back then?"

Hook had a bitter taste on his tongue all of a sudden. He didn't like the word "fear" especially in connection to his name. It was already hard for him to admit something like being afraid to himself there was no way he'd ever admit it to anybody else.

Instead of answering her he took another sip of his flask. Too bad the pixie wasn't as bad in reading people as she had claimed to be those three weeks ago, "still?"

He would have liked to roll his eyes. Since when was she acting like she was his bloody conscience? He kept refusing to answer her.

Tinkerbelle sighed and looked at him like she felt sorry for him. He would have preferred her to laugh.

"Trust me. I'm not mistaken", she said insistent, "you need to try or you won't ever know the truth. Just look at Regina and her Robin Hood. I've been right about them, too, haven't I?"

Hook sighed. There it was again: her request to believe in her. But that wasn't his problem. He trusted her and he knew if he had met her back then when Milah had still been alive, he'd have taken her help without hesitation. He would have believed she would be able to safe them and their love, or at least he believed so.

No. The problem now was much worse. He had watched Emma and Neal and how they were treating each other. He hadn't spied on them but he had seen enough times to see what Tinkerbelle had told him after Emma had left the Jolly Roger the last time. At least he hoped he hadn't imagined what he believed he'd seen between them or more what he had been missing between them. Every kiss, touch or glance they shared had been empty. There had been no fire, no passion not even a single little flame of lust. It seemed to be wrong not just because he wished it to end and to end up in Neal's place but also because it didn't seem to be honest. Their feelings seemed to be surreal, like they were forcing themselves to make it work and to keep it alive whatever it was they shared.

If he compared the way Emma looked at Neal to how she had looked at him and how she had melted under his kiss then he had nothing to worry about. Then there was no way Tinkerbelle was mistaken. As long as he didn't just imagine all of that.

The real problem was that he was afraid to be way to encouraged. He feared to push her away like he had with his last kiss. He was worried to scare her off and to confuse her to that extant that she would cling to Neal even tighter just to escape him.

If she was holding on to that thing she had with Neal, that she called love already that much even though it wasn't real and she wasn't happy with it, then the possibility to lose her completely was extremely high. He didn't want to lose her because of something like that. If he really had to lose her, then it had to be because she didn't love him. He could accept it easier if she would refuse him out of her love for anybody else as long as she really loved that other person but not if she'd just run away from him and her feelings for him.

"Why aren't you saying anything", Tinkerbelle asked impatient and he smiled. It was so easy to annoy her. If something didn't work the way she wanted it to, she could become quite freaky, at least around him. He liked to push that part out of her.

"We'll see."

She stared at him for a long moment before she smiled back at him. She had looked right through him again, even though it had taken her a while to understand he was playing with her through not answering her. Well, at least she believed so. He would never tell her what had been rushing through his mind while she had been waiting for answers.

Hook frowned. He couldn't understand the Blue Fairy and her strange opinion about Tinkerbelle at all. The fairy was so openhearted and kind that she needed someone to protect her from herself sometimes. He had no doubt she'd give anything to help somebody she thought to be worth it even though it would mean risking everything for herself again like back then with Regina. How could someone declare she wasn't worth being a fairy? How could someone stop to believe in such a kind and caring person so she'd lose her wings?

Wasn't it more important and meaningful to help those who were misguided like Regina had been, like he had been once? Wasn't it more worthy to safe someone like that through getting him back on track and help him to stay there? Wasn't that worth the try instead of just rewarding those who already were on the right track? Sure sometimes not every method to achieve those things were alright and not every time the goal did holy the methods but sometimes it did indeed.

What was Tink's little rubbery of fairy dust compared to all the pain and obstacles the Evil Queen had created upon every living creature in the worlds filled with magic? What could they have prevented if they'd helped her like Tinkerbelle had wanted to?

Tinkerbelle tilted her head to one side and looked at him, "what did Emma say to me yesterday? Oh yeah. A penny for your thoughts, Captain."

He sighed, "I'm not a captain anymore. Without a crew there is no captain."

She just kept staring at him.

"I just thought the Blue Fairy was wrong about you", he explained his thoughts and surprised her with almost every word, "you're an amazing fairy, Tink."

After a moment she smiled thankfully and happily at him and he was sure if they'd been back in the Enchanted Forest or in Neverland she'd gotten her wings back now.

---

Emma just couldn't stop thinking about what Henry had told her at lunch. He thought she wasn't happy. He believed that Regina and her parents had found their true loves and were happier than Neal and her. But how could you compare something like that? How could you decide who was happier and more in love and who not? Wasn't that different for every person and every couple?

She sighed and closed the file she had just been reading. It contained all information they had gotten so far about the mystical "Home Office". At first they had believed it had been made up by Pan somehow but now they had found out that he had just used the existing organization for his own goal. He had used their name to cover his own actions and to use Greg Mendel and Tamara. But by now the real organization knew about Storybrook and its inhabitants. The Darlings had told them about it and they had warned them of it and Emma had no reason to doubt anything of it.

The fact that the Darlings hadn't grown older than her thirties without being to Neverland and that Greg and Tamara had been able to shut Regina's powers down was enough reason to make her worry. Now she was able to see Pan's plan as the whole thing. Hook had told them they hadn't used magic to stop Regina in the library back then, but something they'd called technology.

So Pan had been afraid of them as well. He had taken Henry to Neverland because he was the truest believer and she as his mother and the product of true love would follow him, no matter what. It had been their combined powers that had changed Neverland that had been all about believe and maybe they even had changed magic for now.

"Anything new about them", she heard a way too familiar voice ask from the other side of her desk. She hadn't been mistaken. Hook was standing in front of her and looked down at the map under her hands. It didn't surprise her that he had recognized the file at all. After all he had given them every information he had about Greg and Tamara from back then when he had been working with them against Regina.

"No", she sighed and just like always her gaze dropped to his mouth for a little second. He didn't notice or at least he pretended not to and she was thankful for it, even though she heard a small voice in the back of her mind telling her how soft his lips could be and how warm his breath was and how he tasted when she…

She shut that voice down.

"What about the Blue Fairy and Tinkerbelle", she asked to keep their conversation in motion. In the first week after their…argument on his Jolly Roger she had given him the responsibility to deal with the fairies since he was always in contact with Tinkerbelle through their flat situation. She hadn't had any doubt he couldn't be objective enough through it, since he usually kept his distance to everyone as long as he wasn't personally invested with them in a way that went further than living together.

If she was honest she had given him that task because she hadn't wanted him around so often anymore after that. She had wanted to give him something to do that would ask for his entire attention. Something that would distract him from her and would keep him as far away from her as possible so she could forget about, too.

And it had worked until the Blue Fairy had called her again. The mother superior had tried to convince her that Hook wasn't as objective in their matter as she had expected him to be just a few days ago.

Emma had been surprised to hear that. So she had just asked him about it, to make sure both parties enjoyed an equal treatment in that matter. It was her task as the sheriff to make sure that Hook wasn't growing a soft spot for Tinkerbelle that could his judgment.

She bit her bottom lip and watched him carefully. She didn't want anyone to stop believing in her work just because of him and his relationship to the pixie they had taken along from Neverland.

Hook sighed not showing any sign of being caught at something and she relaxed again, "I've no clue."

She became tense at the spot again and frowned, "what does that mean?"

"That I can't tell you anything."

"Why", she asked trying to keep her voice calm, "I thought you were taking care of them."

"I am", he said calmly, "but the Blue Fairy refuses my help and believes I wasn't objective enough."

Emma's eyes narrowed, "and why would she believe that?"

He started to play with the tip of her desk lamp focusing on it, "I don't know."

She leaned back and crossed her arms in front of her chest, "really?"

Hook's lips twitched when he was still trying to hold back a grin, "Emma, what do you want to hear now?"

Deep inside herself she felt something that resembled the shape of a beast flare up against its bars that usually held it in its place, so that she had forgotten it even existed until now. She felt like her breath should actually contain fire when it escaped her nose, "the truth."

He accidentally broke off the tip of her lamp and placed it slowly on the surface of her desk just like a little boy being caught breaking something off his father's most favorite model car. Hook looked up into her eyes and frowned, "the truth is, you pushed Tinkerbelle on me and expected me to solve their problem and now the Blue Fairy is showing you that this doesn't work because she accuses me of picking a side."

"That's not the question, Hook", Emma said slowly, "the question is: are you picking a side?"

Now he really did grin at her, what almost mate her explode, "could it be you're jealous, love?"

Emma backed off immediately. She hadn't heard him use that nickname for her ever since their last argument all those weeks ago. She calmed down and supported herself with her lower arms on the surface of her desk, "don't be ridiculous."

The grin on his lips disappeared and his eyes stared back into hers, "am I? Then why do you care so much?"

"Because if you can't handle their problem I'll have to take care of it myself again. Or David has to", she said without hesitation and held his gaze.

Hook sighed and broke their eye contact to surround her desk and lean at it to her left shoving his hand into his pocket, "they won't listen to me, no matter what I say. One is just as stubborn as the other one, Emma."

"So you need a little help", she asked relaxing again.

He focused his boots, "could be good."

"Fine", she stood up and grabbed her jacket, "then let's go."

They left the office and went to Emma's car. She surrounded it to sit in the driver's seat, when she noticed that Hook had stopped walking and stared at her yellow bug like he expected it to grow legs, paws and wings and spit fire in every minute.

Emma smiled, "what?"

He stared at her car for a minute longer before he answered her, "well, don't get me wrong, love, but what is that?"

"A car", she answered immediately and walked up to him, "why? Has it a quirk?" She stopped beside him to check its body on the passenger's side.

"No", he said and watched her carefully. He waited a moment before he continued like he was trying to not freak her out again, "don't get me wrong, love, but…"

"But what", she asked and looked at him.

He swallowed and she could see how hard he was trying to hold back a smile what was starting to make her angry, "well, that's not a car."

Emma frowned at him, "of course it is."

"No", he stated.

"You are a pirate who has spent his entire life in a world where cars don't exist", she almost exploded, "so what do you know about that?"

"Well", he said laughing now, "I know that this isn't a car. David drives a car. But this is…"

"What", if her eyes could have killed him, he would have been dead even before his body hit the ground.

He placed his hands on her shoulders like he wanted to steady her, "I don't know what it is, but it's not a car. Sorry."

How dare he? She loved this car. She had spent so much time of her live in it that it was something like a home for her. With her bug she had caught her first client and had earned her first bounty. She had met Neal in that car. She had even slept in there when she didn't have a place to stay. She had made Henry in that car or at least it was possible that it happened there. She had spent some of the most important times with her boy inside it when she had come to Storybrook.

She shoved his hands off, "well, then I guess you want to walk. We'll meet there."

He stared after her when she surrounded the bug again.

"Emma?"

She ignored him.

"Emma", he repeated a little more set now.

She stopped with her hand on the door of the bug and one leg already half in inside and sighed more than annoyed. But when she spoke again, her voice didn't sound as fierce anymore, "you know what? What would you've said, if I'd told you the Jolly Roger was just a nutshell?"

Hook held up his hands, "okay, I get it."

"No, you don't", she stated still furious.

"Emma", he said warningly and walked up to her, "if you don't stop bickering now, I'll have to make you, you know?"

She frowned, sensing something she hadn't noticed around him ever since their last kiss. She swallowed her comment even though it was tasting very bitter and landed quite heavy in her stomach and backed off, "just get inside."

Hook waited a moment until she was sitting behind the steering wheel. He was a little disappointed since he had expected her to challenge him as well. He'd gladly accepted it. But now he had to make sure he'd survive the ride in this nutshell she dared to place in the same category as his Jolly.

"So what's the plan", he asked when they walked up the stairs in front of the convent.

"I don't have one", Emma looked at him in surprise, "this is you're baby. I'm just here to support you."

"Well", he said slowly, "in that case we might just leave again."

Emma sighed, "let's split."

"What?"

"Well, they don't want to talk with each other and after everything you told me on your ride here, they don't really want to spent time with each other as well. So if you don't want to live with Tinkerbelle for the rest of your live we should split up to talk with them in separation."

They stopped in front of the huge wooden double door that lead into the church the fairies lived at in Storybrook.

"Fine", Hook said slowly trying hard to hide his disappointment. He had wanted to stay together with her a little longer, "who do you pick?"

Emma stared into his eyes like she wanted to stare him down like a dog to show off her power. Her gaze softened when she finally answered him, "The Blue Fairy."

Hook sighed, "fine."

"You seem disappointed."

"I only know one side of the story, you know?"

"You never talked with her but only with Tink", she asked in disbelieve before she added sarcastically, "well, just how could the Blue Fairy ever believe you were picking sides?"

He stepped closer to her, "it's not like I didn't try. But every time I showed up she slammed that door into my face before I was even able to say "hello"."

Emma didn't say anything. Her lips twitched.

"What?"

"Didn't know that would work to get rid of you", she smiled.

"Funny", he said serious but she could see the amusement in his eyes.

Emma sighed and got serious again, "okay, if she didn't tell you anything back then what makes you believe she'd change her mind now?"

He chuckled and she believed she could feel the vibrations of it even in her soul. It scared her. She build up her walls again.

"Maybe I just don't want to split up, that's all."

The little Emmas inside of her betrayed her and stopped building her walls on the mid-height. She felt that sensation between them again. It let the Emmas come back to life so they could build the rest of her wall again, "and why that?"

"Maybe I just like spending time with you."

Emma grabbed the doorknob and opened a part of the big double door beside them, "well, maybe another time."

"Maybe", he said in a deep voice that seemed to vibrate in her rips, before he froze staring over her shoulder into the room she had just opened.

"What", she frowned, while he reached very carefully and silent for the doorknob she was still holding in her hand, "what's wrong?"

"Emma", he said slowly his eyes still focused on the point behind her shoulder she couldn't see, "don't move and be silent."

"What's wrong", she repeated in a whisper and stared at his face.

"Let go of the door", he said, "and do it slowly."

She followed his instructions trying to be very slowly and when she had pulled out her hand under his grip for the knob he slammed the door shut behind her and pulled her back to the car like he was afraid something could follow them.

"What's wrong", she repeated when he finally stopped in front of the driver's door of her bug. They were a little out of breath after running down all the stairs they had climbed up to get to the convent's entrance door before.

Hook stared at her and hesitated like he was afraid she wouldn't believe him, "there…there was a tiger in the church."

She stared at him in disbelieve, "a tiger?"

"Yes", he said without any hesitation this time and waited for her reaction.

She couldn't help it, she believed him. She was surprised about it herself. This didn't make any sense but if someone like Hook was honestly scared and there was no doubt it was honest and not an act, then it had to be true.

"Why is tiger in there", she asked like he could give her an answer, but she already knew he couldn't.

"That would be my fault", said a soft voice behind her. She turned around to face Nova in her nun clothes standing in front of her clenching her hands nervously like a little girl, that had been caught doing something forbidden.

"Nova, isn't it", she asked, "what are you talking about?"

The nun looked down at her feet, "I didn't notice you were here before you reached the door. I didn't want you to go inside, you must believe me."

"That's nice", Hook stated, "but it doesn't answer her question."

Nova took a deep breath and let it out before she started to talk, "when we were still in the Enchanted Forest I was the fairy to bring the fairy dust from the dwarf's mines to our place. And just like back then I wanted to do it today again."

"Fairy dust", Emma asked. She hadn't even known they had collected more of it then what the Blue Fairy had been able to use on August to turn him into a kid again and give him another chance, saving his live through it.

"While you guys were in Neverland to find Henry and bring him back, they found more. And it's working. The problem is, when I brought some of it back today I wanted to take it in the belfry just like always", she sobbed, "but I dropped some of it and it fell on Blue."

They stared at her, "so you mean…that tiger is…the Blue Fairy?"

Nova nodded.

"Then turn her back", Emma said without hesitation.

"That's not so easy", Nova said desperately, "it must have happened through a wish. The person who wished it must wish it back. That's the problem with fairy dust. It's not like normal magic."

"And who", Hook stopped in the middle of his sentence and stared at Emma. Their eyes met and it was like they were talking without saying a word. They knew both who would wish something like that even though she wouldn't wish it to be true.

Emma looked at Nova, "could you take care of that door? Make sure no one enters the church."

"There are not many nuns here anyway. They are on a road trip today."

"Road trip? To where?"

"The beach", Nova said when she was already heading to the door, "but I'll take care of it."

"So what now", Hook asked while she was still looking after the nun feeling his eyes on her before she even looked back at him, "we know both who would wish something like that, love."

"Yes", Emma said slowly, "and we both know that Tinkerbelle is your part of the work."

"You want to take care of the tiger", he frowned.

"No", she smiled at him and he knew he wouldn't like what he'd here now, "my part was the Blue Fairy. Right now there is no such person."

"So?"

Her smile grew bigger while she surrounded him and reached for the door of her bug, "call me, when the tiger is the Blue Fairy again."

He slammed the door shut again and stopped her from getting into the car, "you said we'd do this together."

"No, I said I'd help you with Tinkerbelle and Blue and we'd part to talk with them separately. And I said my part was the Blue Fairy."

"Yes."

"So all you have to do now is convince Tinkerbelle that she doesn't want her to be a tiger", Emma explained, "and everything will be alright again."

"But if I get her so far to take it back the whole work will be done", he stared at her in disbelieve, "without your help."

"Great", she pulled at the door again, but he kept it shut.

"No not fine", he said and turned her to look at him again, "you know that's impossible."

"No it's not", she said, "it wasn't from the start."

"Then why did you agree on helping me with them in the first place?"

"Because you weren't able to handle the Blue Fairy", she explained, "but you don't have a problem with Tinkerbelle and she is all you have to work with now."

He narrowed his eyes, "if I do this alone you owe me something, love."

"Actually no", Emma said and smiled inside herself for using the words he had used on her when she had desperately needed his help once. She looked into his eyes again and noticed the intense glare he focused her with. She felt it even in her toes. She ignored it and stepped back until she met the car with her back, "it was your task in the first place. I was just so kind to offer you my help in it. You would have done it alone anyway if I didn't offer my help. In other words, there is no owing between us."

She looked down at his hook that was still blocking the door to the driver's seat, "would you be so kind to let go of my door now? I need to pick up my son."

He stepped back very slowly and kept focusing her through angry eyes, "and you do owe me."

She ignored him and got into her car. Before she drove from the parking lot she saw him smiling at her in a way that made her worry a little bit.

---

Emma groaned when she took the huge bowl of ice cream she had just made. Her parents were trying to fulfill Mary Margaret's wish of another baby, or at least she assumed so. David's car had been gone the whole day and Emma could imagine only one place they had gone to, since they hadn't been seen in town the whole day now, Gold's cabin in the woods where they had spent their time together when the curse had still been working and they had thought they'd betray David's wife.

Emma smiled and walked up to the couch, where Henry and Neal were watching tv, "here, kid." She gave Henry the bowl. His eyes grew wide when he smiled at her and took it.

She sat beside Neal and leaned into him. He placed an arm over her shoulder, when she laid with her back to his chest. She took it and watched Henry eating his ice cream. The boy's words were ringing in her ears again. She just couldn't forget what he had said about their little family and her relationship with Neal in particular. How could he believe this wasn't real? How could her own son say this wasn't perfect? Wasn't he happy? Weren't they trying enough? Did they even need to try any longer? Wasn't it enough what they had? Why wasn't it worth as much as what her parents and Regina and Robin had?

She sighed again.

"What's wrong", asked Neal and placed a gentle kiss on her apex.

She frowned and gave it a thought before she answered him. She didn't want to tell him what Henry had told her. She didn't want to make him worried like she was, "I just thought about something I was told about true love."

Henry became tense. She could see it, because she paid attention to it and knew everything about their conversation, but Neal didn't and she was glad for that.

"And what did they say", he said a little curious now. She could hear it in his voice. He held her hand tighter and pulled her closer.

"They said that true love would create an atmosphere that allowed others surrounding those who share such a love to feel it as well. They say that true love would create something like an aura that spread love and happiness everywhere."

"Sounds wonderful", he whispered and she felt his body relax again. He caressed her hand and placed another kiss on her head, "and I thought you'd be worried about something."

Emma frowned at Henry who watched her closely, "I was just wondering if we create such an atmosphere."

Neal let go of her hand to caress her hair and she almost felt his smile when he kissed her again, "well, we'll never know."

Emma sat up and looked at him in confusion, "why not?"

Neal laughed, "because we're the ones who love. We wouldn't ever find out what kind of atmosphere we create."

"I see."

He watched her for a moment, watched how she sat up throwing her legs over the edge of the couch to sit upright again. He did it either, but instead of grabbing the cushion of the couch, he grabbed her and tickled her until she fell on him again. She grabbed a pillow and pushed it in his face laughing loud. Henry jumped up to safe his ice cream when they started to fight for the pillow until the grabbed him and included him in their playful fight as well.

It was later that night as Emma lay awake when she noticed that Neal hadn't really answered her question the way she had expected him to. She would have wanted to hear him to say, that they definitely created such an atmosphere because they had to share true love or he wouldn't now what it was at all otherwise. Or at least something like that. But instead of it he had avoided a clear answer.

He sighed in his sleep and turned around to place an arm over her hip like he wanted to hug her. But he didn't. He just kept sleeping.

Emma pushed herself up on an arm and gently pulled a strand of hair out of his face. She loved him. She really did. There was no doubt for that. The question was just, if it was enough. If he really loved her back or if he'd disappoint her again one day. Could their love last? Was it still strong enough after all those years? She wanted to believe it. She really did. But her own son's words had made her worry about it.

---

"You left him alone with a tiger", David asked in disbelieve.

"No", she answered a little piqued, "he wasn't alone technically."

"And what does that mean", her father placed a cup of coffee in front of her on her desk and sat down in the chair on the other side of it.

"That means that Nova was still there to make sure no one would enter the church where the tiger was in, while he was looking for Tinkerbelle. He hadn't anything to worry about."

"Nova", David asked and frowned like he was trying to remember who she was talking of, "isn't that the little woman who organized the lights for Minor's Day?"

"Yeah, she is the person Mary Margaret and Leroy helped back then."

David sat up in his chair, "she wasn't even able to order an appropriate amount of candles if I remember it correctly and you left her alone taking care of a tiger, Emma?"

"She didn't need to take care of it", she defend her actions, "she just need to make sure that nobody would enter the church and the doors would stay closed, that's all."

David sighed, "and what about Hook?"

"I haven't heard anything from him since yesterday", Emma said relaxed and took her coffee cup.

Her father wasn't as relaxed as her. He stood up again and started to walk up and down the room, "I don't think this was a vice decision, Emma."

She frowned and leaned at her desk again, "why not?"

"What if something happened to him?"

"Hook was able to handle Maleficent down the library all alone", she stated, "and he was able to survive Neverland. Why shouldn't I believe he'd be able to handle Tinkerbelle?"

"This is not about Tinkerbelle, Emma, it's about a tiger."

"A tiger he had nothing to do with because he had to convince a fairy to take back a wish."

David stared at her, "and Nova?"

"Is perfectly safe", she said and leaned back in her chair again, "she didn't need to get in contact with the tiger at all."

"I still think you shouldn't have left them alone", David clenched his hands nervously.

"I had no other choice."

"Why?"

"Because I had to pick up Henry at Jefferson's", she nodded in his direction, "and you weren't there."

He froze and stared at her for a second before his expression turned guiltily, "I was on a trip with your mother."

"I know", she smiled at him.

"We haven't spent a lot of time lately", he kept apologizing and explaining his actions, "we needed a moment just for ourselves."

"And no one can blame you for that."

David relaxed again a smile appearing on his lips that showed just how much he had enjoyed the past day. Emma tried to shut herself up from it, since she didn't want to know about anything of it. They were her parents after all and what his smile was telling her was considered as too much information.

The smile disappeared again, "wait. Why didn't Neal pick him up?"

"What", she frowned again, unable to understand what he was talking about now.

David looked at her in disbelieve, "why didn't Neal pick up Henry at Jefferson's?"

Emma let out a breath, "he was on tour with the Darlings."

"Again", he asked like it was strange that her man was spending time with old friends of his past.

"They are friends", Emma explained, "they are even more for him. When he was a boy they were like a family to him. And they are still teaching Wendy to handle all of the things she has to get used to now. Hell, that woman was frozen in time and caged up in Neverland. She's got a lot to learn."

David still frowned at her. She didn't like what she saw in his eyes. It was worry he was looking at her with now.

"You can't blame him for spending time with his family, can you? I'm spending time with you guys as well."

"Yeah, but we really are family."

"Family isn't just related to blood."

"I know that", David admitted guiltily, "but it doesn't explain why he can't take you along, when he spends time with them. You don't leave him behind when you want to be with us, either, do you?"

"No", she admitted abashed, "but…"

He cut her off, "and don't tell me it's because Wendy needs to learn so much now. She can do that with you being around as well."

David sat down in his chair again and leaned over the desk to reach for her hands, "look, I don't want to place thoughts in your head."

"But", she looked up to him and let him touch her hands which she had folded on the surface of the desk.

"The Darlings aren't just the two brothers, but also a Wendy Darling."

Emma frowned annoyed and pulled her hands out under his, "what does that mean?"

David sighed, "I don't know."

"In that case you really should think about it, before you say something like that."

"It's just", he said slowly and looked down at his own hands that were still lying where she had left them, "he has hurt you before. He has left you before even though you had been pregnant back then."

Emma stared at him. She had never told her parents what really had happened between them all those years ago. She had never told them anything about his betrayal on her before Henry had been born. Not to mention that he hadn't come back when he had heard that she had broken the curse and that they could start all over again now. Even though he had known that they wouldn't need to stay in Storybrook anymore. They could have left his father behind without having to fear he could ever follow them. She had never told them, that he had chosen to hide from his father over her.

"He didn't know I was pregnant", she stated. But she wasn't able to defend Neal from the other things he had said and David had noticed it.

Her father leaned back in his chair and sighed just like an old man, "Emma, I don't want to argue with you and I can't say that I didn't like him. I don't know him good enough to say something like that and if you really love him, it'll be fine for me."

There it was again. The word "if" that made her worry and showed that others didn't believe in their feelings for each other.

"I'm just worried you might not be as happy as I wish you to be", he continued without noticing her thoughts, "I just don't want you to get hurt again."

"You don't need to", Emma smiled at him, "we are happy. There is nothing that stands between us. There is nothing to worry about."

David sighed and looked at her like he still wasn't satisfied but he didn't push any further. He took his cup and leaned back in his chair again. After he had taken another sip of it he looked down on it while he listened to her.

"But that's not important now", she ignored his snorting, "we need to make sure this strange "Home Office" won't find us here."

"I thought Gold had given a spell to Belle when we had left for Neverland?"

"Yeah, but when we came back from Neverland and entered Storybrook it appears we destroyed it."

Emma sighed, "I had hoped it wasn't our fault. I had no idea it was."

David looked at her like he wanted to say, that if everything between Neal and her was fine, she'd known that, since Gold had told him.

She ignored him, "so what do we do now?"

"I think the Blue Fairy should be our first priority now", he said and leaned forward and supported his upper body with his elbows on his knees, "we'll need her and the other fairies."

"Which means", she started to say and was cut off when Hook entered the room.

"You need me."

They stared at him in surprise for a moment.

"Yes", David said obviously more than relieved to see him hale and hearty.

"So", Emma asked, "is the tiger gone and we have our fairy back?"

When he had entered her office she had been nervous immediately again. She didn't even know why. There was nothing she had to worry about, especially not with her father being around. She had always been able to handle Hook even though he sometimes surprised her not only in the good way, if there was a something like that at all. But somehow she was worried he'd mention something about this stupid owing he had started to talk about yesterday before she had left him alone again.

He didn't. He just smiled at her like he knew exactly what she was thinking about, "Not yet", he sighed and took her cup to take a sip without asking, "Tinkerbelle doesn't even want to admit it was her."

"How do you even know it was her", asked David and looked from one to the other.

Emma and Hook exchanged a look before she shrugged, "we just thought it."

David stared at them in disbelieve.

"Well, right now she is the only one who'd wish something like that for the Blue Fairy. She is the only one having a reason."

David sighed, "what if it wasn't about the Blue Fairy at all?"

"What do you mean", Hook asked and frowned at him.

"You said, Nova dropped the fairy dust by accident", he answered him and looked straight into his eyes, "so why should it has been Tinkerbelle who made that wish. Why would Tinkerbelle wish for a tiger? She had no reason to make such a wish to curse Blue, since she couldn't know that Nova would drop the dust just in that moment. If she'd used the dust herself and would have cursed her with it, okay. But not like this. This is not intentional."

Emma sighed. He was right and she knew it even though she didn't want to admit it.

"It could have been an accident", Hook said in a last attempt to defend their misunderstanding.

"And I'm sure it was", David said, "but I doubt it was Tinkerbelle's."

"But if not hers, who's is it?"

"I doubt the Blue Fairy would wish something like that herself", Hook said lost in his thoughts.

David got to his feet again and exited her office, "I assume this is something you'll have to find out."

"And what will you do", Emma asked watching him leaving with big eyes.

"I'll pick up Mary Margaret and talk with Gold and Regina to find a solution for our safety problem for the town."

Emma got to her feet, "what about Henry?"

David stopped in the door and turned to look at her through the windows that surrounded her room, "won't Neal pick him up?"

Emma opened her mouth to answer him, but she didn't know what to say without involving him into another conversation about her relationship with Neal again and that in front of Hook who was the last person she wanted to watch to them. She closed her mouth again. She didn't know what to say.

"We'll take him along or bring him to Jefferson, if he wants to."

"Thank you", she watched him leave the office and sighed. She was relieved and thankful to have such an understanding father.

"Is something wrong", Hook asked. Sometimes he was way to sensitive.

"No", she surrounded her desk on the other side of from where he was standing, "so, where do we start?"

"Start what", he asked watching her like a lion focusing on its loot.

"Searching for the person who made that wish", she said irritated.

Hook walked up to her, "don't know."

She frowned. He seemed to be upset about something. He came closer and she stepped back still staring into his eyes to get a clue about why he was angry with her. But she just couldn't understand it. She thrust back at the filing cabinet that stood behind her at the wall and stopped, "what's wrong?"

He placed his hook beside her head to her right and leaned into her still focusing her eyes, "you left me in the lurch yesterday."

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and stared at him in disbelieve, "I did what?"

"You know that pretty well", he said, "I had to talk with Tinkerbelle about something she probably hasn't even done trying to convince her of something she isn't able to do anyway."

"Maybe", she stated.

"We were arguing the whole day", he continued, "and it was only because I'd been so nice to let her stay on my ship that she didn't turn me into a cricket."

Emma snorted, "oh come on. She is a fairy. She wouldn't do something like that anyway."

He frowned, "yesterday you believed she had made a wish to turn the Blue Fairy into a tiger and today you say she wouldn't do something like turning me into a cricket?"

"Yes", she said self-confident and smiled. But the smile didn't reach her eyes. She was too tense to relax and really smile at him now. He was way too close.

"Don't tell me you were afraid", she stated and frowned at him.

Hook clenched his teeth and she regretted her words almost immediately. She shouldn't have said it and she knew it.

"You owe me something", he stated with such a deep voice that she could feel it in her bones, "and you know that."

"Again?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you let me down."

"I didn't", she said and rolled her eyes, "I already explained it to you yesterday, didn't I?"

"But Tinkerbelle has nothing to do with it", he said, "what makes your theory meaningless, love."

"We don't know if it wasn't her", she pointed out again, "it's just David's theory."

Hook leaned into her more and her mouth went dry, "doesn't change the fact that you let me down."

Emma sighed and swallowed hard trying to make sure he wouldn't notice how nervous she was through her voice, "why don't we just try to find someone who noticed something instead of arguing?"

"If you've paid your dept, surly", he said and placed his right hand on the other side of her head as well.

Emma felt cornered. She didn't like that which was why she sounded angry, when she asked, "and what is it you want me to do?"

He frowned noticing the change in her mood and stepped a step back, "maybe another time, love."

"Why?"

"You don't seem to be in a good mood."

"And why do I need to be in a good mood?"

He snorted, "forget it." He stepped back and walked to the door, "let's search for someone who's seen something."

Emma stared at the place he had just been standing. Her thoughts were running wild. On one side she was satisfied to have him off her heels for now. On the other side she was disappointed he had backed off so easily. She was afraid what his payment would have been and at the same time she wanted to know it. She was curious about what he would wanted from her as payment and at the same time she was worried he'd come up with it again, when she wouldn't think of it anymore, so he would catch her off guard again. She felt split in half and it was annoying her more than she wanted to admit. She was sick of worrying when he was around and she was sick of holding it back, "what do you want from me, Hook?"

If she hadn't been that annoyed she might have been surprised to notice how loud she had said it and how angry she sounded. But she noticed with satisfaction how Hook stopped in the middle of the office on his way outside without looking at her like she had thrown something at him, maybe something like an iron.

She waited for his answer but he just sighed and walked outside, "are you coming, love?"

Emma snorted like a rhino with cold and followed him angrily, "you didn't answer my question."

"Because it's pointless."

"And what does that mean", she stopped in the middle of the hallway and let her hands fall to her sides.

"Drop it, love", he said almost warningly and stopped in front of her without looking at her.

"Drop what?"

"Do I really need to clarify that", he sounded almost disappointed.

"Therefore, I'd like to ask very much", she had placed her hands at her hips now.

Before she even understood what was going on, he turned around, walked up to her and pushed her against the next wall to pin her there like he had done it before at the filing cabinet in her office. He stared into her eyes like he was the one having the right to be upset and not her for him messing with her mind all the time. His breathing was hard while she was just staring at him in surprise.

She felt his warm breath on her lips, their noses were almost touching and she smelled his scent of rum, leather and man again that confused her every time she noticed it. Her mouth went dry and she swallowed hard. But she refused to give in and after her moment of shock she stared angrily and strong back into his eyes.

He noticed the change in her mood and his eyes wandered from her lips back to her eyes. He sighed, "you're still not ready to see the truth."

"And what does that mean", she pushed further.

"That means the subject is over now", he was about to step back but her next words stopped him in the movement so he ended up just leaning back like he wanted to see her whole face.

"No it's not."

He frowned, "and why that?"

"Because you keep showing up doing stuff like that and then you just disappear and I don't want to worry about it anymore", she answered angrily.

"I don't care", he stepped back.

"But I do", she stated and crossed her arms in front of her chest still leaning at the wall, "so say it. Stop playing around and just state it. What do you want from me?"

"Nothing", he said silently, "are you coming now?"

Emma's anger disappeared when she noticed how disappointed he seemed to be. It took her a moment to come to her senses while she watched him leaving the station in silence. She didn't even understand what she had wanted to hear from him. Why had she even started that argument? What had she expected him to say or to do? Deep down her soul she knew the answers, but she didn't want to dig for it. She was afraid of what the answers could be.

Emma followed him outside where he was waiting in front of her car. He leaned with his back at it his legs and arms crossed watching the entrance to her office.

She took a deep breath and tried to forget their argument just now. She looked at her watch, "let's start at the diner. It's lunch time. Maybe we can find someone who's seen something."

"What about the nuns", he asked distantly.

She swallowed hard and ignored the urge to freak out because of it, "Nova said that there hadn't been any more nuns than her yesterday. I don't think there will be anyone who can tell us something."

"Fine", he pushed himself off her car, "shall we split up?"

She stared at him in surprise, "no."

He frowned, "why not?"

"You just blamed me for letting you down", she walked past him towards the diner, "I won't take the chance to hear that again."

---

They spent the whole day asking people about the convent and the Blue Fairy and when they had seen her the last time. But they didn't really get answers. Around seven p.m. they met David, Mary Margaret and Henry when they were standing in front of the diner again not knowing where to ask next.

"Hey", Mary Margaret said and stopped beside them, "so did you find out anything?"

"Honestly? I hope you've been more successful than us", Emma answered her and sighed, before she hugged her son.

"We were", David said, "or at least we believe so. Gold and Regina have tried to create a new spell. All that's missing now is a little help of the Blue Fairy."

"For what", asked Hook and frowned, "isn't the old crocodile able to do a simple spell anymore?"

David grinned, "he is. The problem is, for his spell he needs a little assistance from a fairy."

"We've already talked with Nova", Mary Margaret added, "but it appears that Blue is the only one with enough experience for this."

"But she added that Tinkerbelle had experimented with fairy dust when she was still a fairy back in the Enchanted Forest", Henry said and looked up to his mother, "that was one of the reasons the Blue Fairy repudiated her in the first place."

"But we don't know if she can do it", David added.

Emma looked down at her son, "do you believe she can?"

"I don't know yet", he answered honestly, "but it could be possible."

Her eyes met Hook's who was watching them with a warm expression. He seemed just as worried as she was, "Tinkerbelle is capable of doing more than it appears on the outside."

"Maybe", Mary Margaret said unaware of the look her daughter had just shared with the pirate, "but I think we shouldn't count on that."

"But she could be an option", Emma stated, "just in case it'll take us too much time to free the Blue Fairy again."

"Indeed", David said and placed an arm around Snow's shoulders, "something else: Henry wants to spent the night at Regina's. Are you fine with that? We wanted to ask you first."

Emma looked at him for a moment, before her gaze wandered to her son, she was hugging, "really?"

"Pretty please", he smiled up to her just as he couldn't harm anyone.

She held back a laugh and when she met her parent's gazes she noticed that they were smiling as well. She sighed, "fine then. But she'll take you to school tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay", Henry frowned at her.

"Good. Then I can search for the culprit in the mean time again", she said a little sarcastically and smiled. Her smile disappeared when she noticed the intense gaze Hook was watching her with.

"So what now", Mary Margaret asked watching them carefully now as well, "what will you do now?"

"Honestly? I have no idea who we can ask anymore", Emma sighed, "there isn't a single soul who has seen someone around the convent at all or who knows about someone who wanted to go there."

"We've asked everywhere", Hook added and sighed, "seems like the Blue Fairy will have to stay like that for now."

"And how shall we feet her? It's not like she was just a little cat or something like that. She is a tiger. Do you even know what an animal like that can eat at just one day", Mary Margaret asked in disbelieve, "not to mention that she can't stay in the church forever, can she?"

"And what do you expect us to do now", Emma asked carefully. She knew her mother was a close friend of the fairy and that she cared for her a lot. And she knew pretty well how much they needed her.

Mary Margaret sighed, "I don't know. I'm just worried. It's not just about keeping everyone safe from her, but also to make sure that she's alright even though she is a tiger right now."

"And we'll do our best to make sure of that", David squeezed her shoulders gently and pulled her closer to him, "we just need to think of something else."

"Where is the Blue Fairy right now", Henry asked. His grandparents had told him, that she was turned into a tiger and that they needed to find the one who wished her to be one or at least who wished to have tiger at all, but they hadn't mentioned anything more. He was curious and he'd be happy to see it live. But he knew this would never happen, because they'd judge it to be too dangerous for him.

"Where she was cursed", Hook answered him, "in the church that belongs to the convent."

Henry frowned, "Pinocchio said he had been playing near the convent at school today. He said he found a huge bark beetle there. Maybe he's seen something?"

Emma roughed up his hair after she had placed a kiss on his head, "thank you. That can really help us."

She hugged him goodbye and kissed him another time, before he left with her parents into the direction of Regina's place.

"He is great", Hook said silently standing beside her while watching them go, "I heard David was teaching him riding?"

"Yes", Emma smiled, "he's even got his own horse he has to take care of."

"I bet he loves it."

"He does."

He turned to look at her, when her family had disappeared around the next corner, "and what now?"

Emma sighed, "I guess we have a date with Pinocchio now."

"And where is that kid", he didn't know him. He had never heard of him before.

"At Geppetto's place", Emma answered his question and walked up to her bug, "they are living at the carpenter. We'll need to drive there."

---

Pinocchio stared at them with big eyes. Since he was younger than Henry he was already dressed in his pajamas and ready to go to sleep.

"Look", Emma kneeled down in front of him so he didn't need to look up to her anymore. She wanted to make him trust her instead of frightening him, "we're not angry with you or something like that. We just need to know if you've noticed someone walking around there yesterday when you were at the convent."

"No", he said. Emma looked at him carefully and it didn't take her long to understand, that he didn't lie to her.

When she got up to her feet again and sighed a little disappointed, Hook leaned down to him and smiled, while Geppetto was watching him carefully, just like he was afraid he would pierce his son with his hook.

"Could it be you were thinking of something like an animal when you were there?"

Pinocchio frowned, "I don't know."

Emma stared at the pirate for a moment before his eyes met hers and they shared another of their wordless little conversations they always had in those moments. It was their way to understand each other.

She kneeled down again and smiled at the boy, "Pinocchio, do you like tigers?"

His eyes sparkled when he heard the word "tiger" and he smiled at her, "tigers are great. They are so big and strong and beautiful. And Mogli of "The jungle book fights one."

"I see", she smiled and exchanged another look with Hook, "would you like to have one?"

His eyes grew even bigger what Emma never would have believed to be possible. He was excited as only kids could be, "a real tiger?"

"Hmh."

The boy looked up to his father who seemed a little worried before he nodded.

Emma stood up again and caressed his hair gently when she looked into Geppetto's eyes, "I guess we have our solution now."

"I'm sure he didn't do anything wrong on purpose", the old man started to defend his son immediately.

"No he didn't", Hook stopped him before he could continue, "he just was at the wrong time at the wrong place and thought of something he'd like to have."

"So he didn't lie", Geppetto asked again revealing it to be his biggest worry.

"No", Emma assured him kindly, "but he'll have to wish to have the Blue Fairy back."

Pinocchio looked up to them and listened to their conversation, "did I do something wrong? I like the Blue Fairy. She turned me into a real boy. I don't want her to be angry with me."

Emma smiled down at him while Hook frowned unable to understand what they were talking about. He didn't know that story after all.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong", Emma tried to convince him, "but I need your help."

"What can I do", he asked curious and relieved that he wasn't in trouble.

"Tomorrow I want to take you to the convent with me. And I need you to think of the Blue Fairy very hard. Do it with all your heart", she explained, "can you do that for me?"

The boy gave it a thought, "and she isn't angry with me?"

"No", she answered, "I'm sure she isn't. She'll be thankful if you do me that favor."

Pinocchio looked up to his father, "can I?"

"Of course", Geppetto didn't seem as relieved as his son was.

The boy smiled at her and Emma smiled back, "fine. Then I'll pick you up tomorrow morning before school. Okay?"

"We'll be ready", Geppetto said and lifted his son up into his arms.

---

Emma stopped her car at the port to drop Hook near his ship. They had achieved more than they had expected after spending a whole day searching around for answers. Their success had even made her forget their argument at lunch time for an entire hour. Now it crashed back into her face like it had just happened. And still she had now answer for her questions. She still didn't understand why she had started that fight in the first place or why it had been so important to her to find out what he actually wanted from her. She was afraid of the answers she could get for all those questions and decided not to pick up that theme again in front of him. She'd burry it deep down her soul in the chest she used to keep everything concerning him.

She was just checking its locks again, when he suddenly started to talk, "so tomorrow morning."

"Yes", she looked at him and noticed that he was starring out the windshield like he was focusing on something particular. She knew he didn't since it was already to dark to see anything and her bug's light didn't enlighten something in particular.

"And what then", he asked and finally looked at her again.

"What do you mean", she frowned.

"Well, the problem with our lovely fairies for example."

Emma smiled, "oh, that."

"Yes", he mirrored her slow nodding and smiled back at her, "what do we do about them?"

"Well…", she said slowly, "I'd say…we split up."

Hook's smile grew bigger and they both knew what would come next. They both knew that they were about to repeat their conversation of yesterday when they had been standing in front of the church where they had wanted to meet the Blue Fairy at since it was the only place in there he was allowed to enter as the man he was.

"And let me guess, you want to talk with the Blue Fairy", he asked mockingly when he exited her bug. She left it as well and placed her right arm on its roof. She looked at him and smiled, "that would be a logical choice, don't you think?"

"At least it seems so", he surrounded her car slowly, "and you can talk about the crocodile's curse in the process. Sounds handy."

Emma nodded slowly and watched his every move. She turned around so she didn't have to leave him out of sight, when he had reached the driver's side of her bug and stopped in front of her.

"Yeah, sounds like a plan."

"The only problem is", he said slowly, "what will you do, if that little boy doesn't wish to get the Blue Fairy back?"

Emma frowned, "why shouldn't he?"

He stepped closer, "well, he loves tigers and when he'll see the real one in there, he might want to keep it more than to get the fairy back."

"But he knows that it isn't right", she said suddenly not so sure they were still talking of Pinocchio anymore, "he knows that he can't get everything he wants."

"Can't he", he asked in a very deep and low voice. He was already that close again that Emma was able to feel the warmth of his body near hers.

"No."

"Why not", Hooks gaze dropped to her lips for just a second, before he looked up into her eyes curious to find out what her answer would be.

"Because he has a responsibility now", she said slowly, "and he has made his choice."

"Maybe it's time to chose again", he whispered at her mouth and her tongue went dry again. She could smell the sea near them and his smell of man. The scent of rum was gone since he hadn't drank any of it the entire day they had spent searching for answers. His breath was warm when it softly caressed her lips.

Emma narrowed her eyes unable to stop herself from doing it and felt how her pulse sped up and pumped the blood through her veins, "why do you think so?"

"Maybe because he notices that he likes his tiger more than the familiar and safe fairy", his lips stroke gently and softly over hers and a shiver ran down her spine, "maybe he'll notice that he likes the danger more than that deep down his soul."

She couldn't think anymore. Her mouth was as dry as she wasn't able to swallow anymore now. She licked her bottom lip and before she could even react his lips were on hers. He sucked at her bottom lip and followed the trail she had taken a second ago with his tongue, before he sucked at her lip again.

She closed her eyes unable to resist anymore and felt how her hands sneaked up his chest until they reached the sleeves of his coat again. She grabbed it and pulled him closer in the moment she allowed him the entrance into her mouth.

Hook stepped closer and pulled her body to his with his right hand, while he kept his left on the door of her bug. She wrapped her left arm around his neck and to pull him closer just like she wanted to creep into him. But she didn't need to, since she was already there since the first day she had bound him to that tree and threatened him to tell her the truth about him.

He caressed her tongue with his and experienced her like he didn't know her and at the same time he felt like coming home after a long absence. He pulled her to the side without breaking apart so she could lean completely at her bug and leaned into her. She sighed into their kiss and he lost it.

The kiss grew fierce, his hand wandered up her thigh and he knew if it wasn't for her jacket he'd touch her skin there now. He heard his hook sinking into the roof of her car and creating a whole into it like he was hearing it from afar while her hand slipped under his shirt and his vest to explore his chest.

They were breathing hard, when they parted to breathe again. He placed his forehead at hers like he had done it in the past when he had stolen a kiss from her and watched her through narrowed eyes. She kept hers closed and drew her hand back from his chest.

She was still breathing hard when she whispered, "what was that?"

Hook forced himself to step back again when he had pulled his hook out of her car's roof, "you're answer."

She frowned at him trying to steady her breath, "answer?"

He took another step back without leaving her out of sight, "to your question."

Then he left her confused and shocked in front of her car. It took her a moment to realize he was actually talking of the question she had asked him when they had left her office at lunch time.

---

He had been gone for about five minutes when she stopped staring at the place he had just been standing at. Her heart was racing and she didn't trust her legs. She knew her mind should be running wild again and that she should feel guilty now, but she couldn't bring herself to think about even a little thing like that. She should drive back home now. She just couldn't. She was frozen, shocked about what he had just told her or showed her. She was paralyzed of what had just happened again after all those weeks. Those weeks she had believed it to be over.

This had been like a slap into her face.

It had taken her a while to drive home. The first thing she had done, when she had arrived and had noticed she was all alone again, had been to let run in a bath for herself. She still wasn't able to think clearly or to confront herself with everything that had happened and was going on inside herself now. So she needed a bath with a lot of foam to relax again.

She felt split in half just like all those weeks ago. One side of her had enjoyed their kiss and the other half that was stronger and louder was accusing her for what had just happened between them and what she was feeling about it. It was insane.

She walked up to the fridge and got the ice out of the freezer. She grabbed a bowl and filled it with it, while she waited for the bathtub to be filled with water completely. When she was done, she walked into the bathroom to check it and turned off the water. She took off her jacket and went back to the living room where she hang it at the wardrobe, before she grabbed her bowl of ice.

She was glad Neal wasn't there even though a small voice underneath all her confusion kept wondering where the hell he was again. She shut that voice down knowing that he'd ask a lot of questions she wasn't ready to answer now and that she really could be glad he wasn't seeing her like this.

Someone knocked at the front door and she froze on her way into the bathroom. She turned around to stare at it slowly. It took her a moment to place her bowl of ice on the working surface of the kitchen counter, before she walked up to it.

Whoever was standing outside knocked again, like he was impatient. Maybe it was Neal who had forgotten his keys again. It wouldn't have been the first time.

But he usually kept ringing the door belle instead of knocking silently at the door.

A small voice deep down her soul guessed something else. She froze her hand already laying on the doorknob. She couldn't face him now. She just couldn't. She didn't know what she'd do, if it was him. She was afraid of how far she'd go if he'd kiss her again.

"I know you're there", she heard his voice through the door. He sounded kindly, "why don't you open up, Emma?"

She didn't react. She swallowed a surprised cry and felt her heartbeat as hard as it was about to jump out of her chest.

"Please open up", he said just as silently as he had before, "we need to talk."

Her mouth went dry and she felt how her limbs were starting to tremble. She squeezed her eyes shut, took a deep breath and opened them again. Her heart stopped beating so hard all of a sudden that it hurt in her chest and she slowly started to hear something else but its beating in her ears again.

"Emma", he asked again, "can we talk about this please?" He sounded worried. If she didn't knew him better she'd even say he was scared of something. But she couldn't understand what he could be scared of. Nor what he wanted to talk about just an hour after leaving her speechless behind.

She swallowed again and slowly opened the door, "what do you want?"

Hook was standing in front of her, his hands hanging to both sides of his body, his eyes focusing on her and trying to catch her attention. But she didn't look back into them out of fear she'd lose herself inside of them.

She stepped back and turned her back at him so she wouldn't need to look at him anymore. He followed her inside and closed the door behind his back. The sound of the door slamming shut silently behind her send goose bumps down her spine and frightened her more than she would have thought in the first place. Maybe she had made a mistake. Maybe she shouldn't have opened that door but should have slipped into her warm bath instead.

"We need to talk", she heard him say. He was already closer than she had expected him to.

Emma walked up to the fridge and picked up a dose with whipped cream. She needed more than that bowl of ice now, "about what?"

"That kiss."

She froze for a second. Her mind was running wild while she tried to avoid to think about it. She'd love to think of anything else if she could just avoid that theme, "why?"

"Because", he started and stopped.

She waited for a moment but he didn't pick up his sentence anymore. She turned around to look at him and noticed it to be a mistake when it was already too late. She had looked into his eyes and stared into them like a caught animal.

"Because your so tense now."

Tense? He had no idea! She was far more than just tense. She was completely shaken and confused. She was nervous and afraid she could just jump at him to try to creep right into him. She was afraid of all the things she might do, if he'd just touch her again and at the same time she was longing for him to do it.

The last time she had felt like this they had started to fight so badly that he had thrown her off his ship. They hadn't been acting as normal with each other as they'd done before that for weeks and now it was all happening again. Just like she had learned nothing.

She didn't answer him but let out a breath in disbelieve and looked to the side.

Hook surrounded the counter but kept his distance to her like he didn't want to corner her but couldn't stay away from her as well, "I didn't want to push you."

She looked up into his eyes again, "no?"

"No", he said like it really was important to him that she'd believe him, "I just…"

"What", her voice sounded stronger than she had believed it to be possible.

He swallowed hard, "I just did it."

She let out another breath in disbelieve and stepped back, "is that a game for you? Every time I think everything is normal again you show up and destroy everything."

Hook stared at her, "I destroy everything?"

"Yes."

"And what exactly", he seemed angry.

But the only one who had the right to be angry was her. Somehow she felt hurt deep down where her chest was supposed to keep everything concerning him locked up, "our friendship."

"Friendship", he said in disbelieve and took a step back. He seemed shocked just like she was shocked about her thoughts. Thoughts like, why didn't he say something else? Why couldn't he answer her in another way but telling her that he just did it? Why did he hurt her like that? And why the hell did she even care about it? Why was she angry about something like that instead of being angry about the kiss itself?

"Yes", she said like it had been a question.

"So that's all to it", he stepped closer again and focused on her like he didn't want to miss even a single move of hers.

"Isn't it?"

Hook stopped, "the question is, what is it for you?"

She frowned, "what?"

He took a deep breath and calmed down again, "what does it mean to you?"

Emma stared at him in confusion, "what does that mean", she turned around and shook the dose with the whipped cream nervously before she placed the white cream on top of her bowl of ice that had already started to melt.

"What do you feel about it? What do you think", he pulled at her arm and turned her around to him while she was pushing down the spray head so some of the whipped cream draw a line over his left cheek.

They stared at each other in surprise for a long moment and he let go of her arm. He reached for the white cream on his cheek and looked down at his fingers when some of it was sticking at them now as well. He frowned for a second remembering their conversation about that dose and the cream weeks ago. It felt like a part of a another life now.

He looked up to her again and met her frightened stare he had already noticed when he had entered her flat again. He didn't even know her like that. In Neverland she had been so self-secure and strong. How on earth had everything turned out like this? Why was she looking at him like he had cut her deeply now? He had never wanted this to happen and when he had noticed that she still had been standing at the docks long after he had left her alone like she had been frozen, he had understood that they needed to talk about it now or they'd destroy everything that was there between them, even though she still didn't want to see it. That was actually hurting him. He could see that she wanted him like he had prophesized it to her in Neverland but she still refused to admit it. When she had chosen Neal back than it hadn't hurt as much as this now. Sometimes he felt like she agreed with him and he wasn't worth her. Sometimes he felt like she was seeing him as something bad and dirty that she had to stay away from. Sometimes he believed in what Greg had told Regina about villains never achieving their happy ending.

It was all that which made him push further now, "this can't continue, Emma."

"I know", she sighed and placed the dose on the counter to her left, "you need to stop doing that."

Hook frowned when he met her eyes again, "what?"

Emma looked back into the blue eyes of his with all the strength she had. She had seen the pain he felt inside them. She had seen it before when she had chosen Neal over him and she didn't want to see it again. But she forced herself to notice it and to acknowledge it. He deserved it that she paid attention to it.

"We can't do this anymore."

"But…", he cut himself off and broke their eye contact. She couldn't see what was going on inside of him anymore and a part of her was relieved she couldn't. But the other half needed to know it.

"It's wrong."

"Wrong", he looked at her again. He was frowning and his voice sounded hurt even though she noticed he tried to hide it, "and what about it is wrong?"

"The whole thing", she said silently and surrounded him to pick up a towel, "I've got Neal."

"So?"

"So", she repeated his question in disbelieve and held out the towel to him so he could clean his face and his fingers with it. He didn't take it. He just stared at her. She was nervous, "I love him."

"Do you", he asked but it didn't sound like a question he wanted to be answered at all.

"Yes", she said slowly and felt her heartbeat rising. Her cheeks were burning and her eyes started to hurt.

"No you don't", he stated slowly and finally took the towel. He cleaned is face with water from the sink and dried himself with the towel while she kept watching him.

She bit her bottom lip and frowned. How could he say that? How dare he? He had no idea of what she was feeling or of what her relationship with Neal was like. He didn't know what she was feeling around him.

His eyes wandered to the bowl of ice she had just completed with the whipped cream and he frowned, before he looked back at her again, "is that what it's really for?"

Emma ignored his question, "how can you say something like that? You have no right to judge our relationship."

He turned to look at her again and sighed, "maybe you're right. I don't have the right to do that."

She was focusing on his blue eyes, which could turn into such a deep color as the ocean at a shadowy day, when they were filled with lust and longing and waited for him to continue. But now there was nothing of this to see in them. Now they were almost cold as ice, what made her nervous. She didn't even notice that she was holding her breath until she got dizzy.

"Maybe I don't know everything I'd need to know to judge about you and your…love", he said when it was clear she wouldn't say anything until he was done and pronounced the word "love" sarcastically which made her angry again, "but I know that if you really love someone it doesn't matter what he did to you, if you see him again, after you believed him to be dead you're just glad to have him back. You don't need to give chances when you really do love."

Emma stared at him in shock. Her thoughts were running wild. He had no idea what he was even talking about. He didn't know what had happened between them all those years ago. He couldn't blame her for her feelings and the hurt she had gone through. She had done that and she still loved Neal. Didn't that count at all?

"And if you love someone you don't leave them behind no matter what the reason might be", he said remembering what she had told him about their departure after she had chosen Neal over him.

Emma clenched her teeth and glared at him. Her hands had turned into fists before she even noticed it. She felt so much anger she had to concentrate to not enflame the whole room through magic like back then when Regina had taught her using anger to make a fire in Neverland.

Hook stepped closer, "if you love someone and you're angry with them, you want to push them around and to throw things at them and at the same time you want to pounce yourself at them to live the passion you feel for them. You want to hurt them when you have trouble and at the same time you don't want them to get hurt and you're afraid of losing them through doing the wrong thing."

She stared at him in shock and her fists loosened again. She was focusing him like a snake following the lead of a pipe down in the orient.

His voice turned low and he came closer until he stood right in front of her, the tips of their shoes touching slightly, "you forgive them even though you can't understand it and it seems to be insane. You do things you'd never thought you'd do and before you know it, you kiss them, even though you actually wanted to punch them in the face. If there is something frightening you, you stick to them to protect them, to make sure they are safe and you can't relax until you know they really are. If you really love, love, you can't stand being close to him without touching each other. And you can feel the other one near you even before you can see or hear them just through their bare presence. If they get hurt you're hurt as well and if they are happy, you're happy was well.

If their eyes are filled with lust you can't resist and before you know what you're doing you're satisfying your own with theirs. Every touch is solution and torture at the same time and it's pure torture. But it's a torture you can live with because it's pleasure as soon as your feelings get involved.

Every breath you feel on your skin, ", a shiver ran down her spine, "on your lips,", before she knew what she was doing she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a fierce kiss that cut him off.

He didn't even need a moment to overcome the surprise he must have felt. At least she had been surprised of her own actions. One moment they were fighting and in the next he wrapped her around his finger just with words that touched her as deep down her soul that the box she was keeping everything concerning him had rattled like a wild animal, longing to be opened.

She sucked at his bottom lip and she felt his hand at her waist and the back of his hook in her lower back. He had to have turned his arm around in order to not stab her with it by accident.

She wrapped her arms around his neck tighter and felt how her heart was warming up, while it seemed to pump lava through her veins instead of blood. Lava that inflamed her whole body and send small electrical suggestions tickling down her spine even into the tips of her fingers and toes increased where he touched her with his hands.

She breathed the air he breathed out while his tongue caressed and massaged hers. She became so light headed that she didn't even care about breathing anymore. All that mattered was his taste of rum and man on her tongue, combined with the scent of leather and the sea in her nose.

She felt the little hair in his neck, when her left hand ran up into his dark hair that wrapped around her fingers. He sighed into their kiss and stopped to take a breath leaning his forehead at hers like always.

She pulled the cold air deep into her lungs without opening her eyes, before her mouth searched for his again and he pressed himself at her like he wanted to disappear inside her. She sighed into his mouth and he shoved her back until she felt the cold wall in her back. He pressed her against it.

Emma opened her eyes for a second expecting to see his soft eyelids closed and met his blue eyes clouded by lust. She drowned in them trying hard not to close her eyes again and to get lost in their kiss. She drowned in his eyes and she could feel his touch and caress even in her little toe and the tips of her hair, while their kiss softened that it almost hurt and touched something deep down her soul. Her hand wandered under his shirt and she felt the little hair on his chest while his heart was racing under his skin just like she could hear her own one in her ears. She couldn't resist anymore and closed her eyes, knowing he had closed his as well when he pressed his whole body against hers and leaned her head back to deepen their kiss even more. It got fierce again. This was magic.

"What on earth", she heard a somehow familiar voice say that drew her back into reality immediately.

They broke apart, breathing hard and Emma's eyes met her mothers staring at her in disbelieve. She looked back at Hook who swallowed hard, closed his coat in front of his chest and tried to steady his breathing like he had run for miles.

They stared at each other.

"Could someone explain to me, what is going on here", asked Mary Margaret shocked.

They didn't answer her but kept staring at each other. Emma was relieved to sea that she wasn't the only one who was surprised and shocked. Hook was as well. She just didn't know if it was because of her mother who had suddenly shown up without anyone of them even hearing it or because of how intense their kiss had become within a second.

"You know", Mary Margaret said slowly, "I'll give you a moment in private. Ten minutes. Then I want some answers." She walked up the stairs and Emma heard how she took off her jacket.

They kept staring at each other unable to make the first move and everything she had forgotten to think about before their kiss crashed back at her while she used the wall in her back to steady herself her fingers clinging to the corner she was close to.

All the confusion she had felt before he had shown up again threatened her to eat her alive now and the chest deep down her soul was glowing like the leftovers of a huge fire made of iron.

"That was", Hook said in an attempt to explain what just had happened between them.

She cut him off like she had done it in Neverland, "it can't happen again."

He stared at her and came closer, "why?"

"Why", she heard her voice crack, "because of Neal and Henry and…"

"What do you feel?"

"What?"

"In all those explanations I haven't heard the word "I" from you even a single time", he whispered just like she did and stopped right in front of her.

"That's not the point."

"It is", he stated, "it's simple."

"It's not", she argued, "I have responsibilities. I have a family."

"You have a son", he stated again.

"And a man I live with", she added, "I've got Neal."

"And still you kissed me like you wanted to eat me alive."

"That doesn't change anything", she felt her cheeks burn.

"No", his voice grew louder as he said it in disbelieve.

"No", she said stronger und stubbornly.

He shoved her at the wall he had just kissed her at and had to hold himself back to not push his hook inside it out of rage, "you don't love him."

Emma frowned, "I do!"

"No", he said self secure and strong not allowing her to argue about it before he'd be done, "you stick to old memories that's not love, Emma."

"I don't", she stated, "I love Neal."

"Really?"

"Yes", she said furious, "I really do love him. He is the man I want to spent my entire live with."

Hook sighed, "and what was this?"

"I don't know", she backed off, " a mistake."

She could almost feel the anger rushing through his veins like she had felt his passion before. His eyes narrowed in anger this time and his left arm was shaking. The last time she had seen him like this he had thrown her off his ship.

"This was passion, lust, love", he said like he wanted her to feel something at hearing those words. He had no idea.

"That's all it was. It wasn't a mistake."

She swallowed hard and looked at his neck to avoid his eyes. It almost killed her to say it and she didn't want to see the pain in his eyes when she did, "and it will never happen again."

When he talked again, he tried his best to do it with a calm voice, "you don't love him. That is not love. You two stick to old habits."

"He is my true love", she said even though she didn't know it for sure and a part of her felt like crying.

Hook chuckled, "true love? You don't even believe in that, Emma", he backed off again, "if he really was your true love, you wouldn't end up kissing me all the time."

She frowned, "you kissed me."

He rose an eyebrow, "yeah up to now I did and you didn't stop me. But may I remind you that you just pushed yourself at me? How do you explain that."

She froze and stared at him like a mouse focusing a cat that was about to catch it, "go."

He sighed and took a step back. They both hadn't enough power left to argue again and he knew it just as well as she did. He took another step back and left for the door. When he reached it he stopped and said over his shoulder, "be careful what you wish, love."

Emma did her best to get up her walls again and sound strong instead of sobbing what she was actually feeling like, "what does that mean?" It didn't work.

"That one day I might not come back anymore", he disappeared into the entrance hall of their apartment building and was gone.

Emma stood behind the kitchen counter and stared at the door unable to even close her mouth. She didn't think, her head was to weak to do it.

Far away she heard steps coming down the stairs to her bedroom and her mother saying, "I guess we need to talk."

She didn't care anymore. Her walls were lying to her feet shattered through his last words just like the part of her she had wanted to protect so badly even though she couldn't understand why.

---

They were sitting at the table in the middle of the room. Mary Margaret had cooked them some coffee while she had cleaned the bowl of ice Emma had completely forgotten about and that had melted in the meantime. In the meantime Emma had just been sitting at the table too confused and shocked about her own actions of this evening. Before Mary Margaret had come down to her and almost forced her to sit down, she had just been standing where he had left her, staring at the spot she had seen him the last second before he had vanished into the night.

Now Mary Margaret was sitting across from her watching her carefully but Emma didn't care. She couldn't think clearly yet. She didn't want to talk about it especially not with her mother the woman who might be the one person on earth who believed in true love the most besides her father. No, she wanted to burry all of it in the chest deep down her soul again and if it hadn't felt hot and dangerous like burning iron all the time since he had left, she would already have done that.

"Where is David", she asked in an attempt not to just break the silence but change her mothers focus as well, even though she didn't really care about the answer right now.

"He went over to Grumpy", Snow answered without stopping to watch her. After a moment she seemed to remember, that Emma wasn't really able to draw a connection between their fairytale selves and the personalities they living with here and she had met here in Storybrook. So she added, "Leroy, he is with Leroy down in the mines. David wants to check if they've found another source for the fairy dust down there that'll need to be protected. But that's not important now."

Emma looked down at her hands which she had folded around her cup. She didn't want to talk about it.

But weather she noticed and simply ignored it or she didn't, she just went on.

"What was this about", her mother asked slowly, "you know what Hook said when he left?"

Emma rolled her eyes, "it's nothing. He just wanted to threaten me."

"He threatens you", she seemed worried, "Emma, did he…did he force himself on you?"

Emma stared at her in surprise, "no", she looked at her hands again and shook her head, "no, he'd never do that."

She remembered the little conversation she had had with Hook when they had been on their way to the Dark Hollow together with Neal, after she had drawn the sword she had given him to cut down the brunches in their way. Back then Hook had told her that he wouldn't want to get her through dirty tricks or something like that but because she wanted him as well. Already back then he had told her, that he wanted her to chose him for what she was feeling for him and not because she believed she had to. She remembered how hard her heart had bet back then and almost heard it in her ears again. She remembered how insecure she had felt and ignored her mother and the expression she was watching her with.

"Okay", she said slowly and sighed, "and what was this just now, when I came home?"

Emma blinked snapping out of her memories and gave it a thought. She frowned, "I don't know…it just happened."

Snow raised an eyebrow, "it just happened?"

Emma was nervous, "yeah…it was an accident."

"Getting hit by a car or falling down some stairs that's an accident. But that just now? Emma, if I wouldn't have come home you wouldn't be sitting here now and I'm not sure that I'd ever want to enter our kitchen again."

Emma looked down at her hands and sighed. She already felt guilty enough, did she really need to push her when she was already lying on the ground?

"I didn't think…", she started to whisper but was interrupted by her mother again, "I know that you didn't. It's the only explanation for what happened."

Mary Margaret waited a moment before she talked again, "just tell me, what you would have done if David would've come home instead of me? Or Neal? What would you have told him? Or even worse, Henry? How would you have explained to him, that you were kissing Hook instead of his own father? Or what would you have told him if he would have caught you two doing more than just kissing?"

Emma frowned and sighed angrily, "tell me, did you think of all those things when you were having an affair with David before you knew he wasn't married to Kathrin and you were Snow White and Prince Charming?"

"No", her mother said dangerously, "but we didn't have to think of a kid. And his marriage was over or at least we believed so. And we actually shared true love that binds us. And you? Are you even feeling guilty for your actions?"

Emma stood up and walked up and down the room, "what do you think? That I run around smiling for playing them both? That I don't care for how much I hurt everyone with this? That I'm waiting for him at night and call him every time I know Neal isn't at home and Henry is with Regina so he can come over?"

"No", Mary Margaret backed off, "no, I don't think that."

Emma stopped and pushed her hands at the surface of the table between them, "then what do you think?"

"I think Neal and you have problem and you use Hook to overcome your pain."

Emma stared at her for a long moment, before she sunk back into her chair and sighed, "I wished it was like that."

Snow drank a sip of her coffee, "how long is this going on already?"

Emma frowned, "I don't know. We've kissed a few times."

"Nothing more?"

"No", she sighed, "and you stopped us today before anything more could happen."

Mary Margaret played with her cup like she wasn't interested at all, "was that what your fight was about all those weeks ago?"

Emma looked at her confused, so she explained it to her, "a few weeks ago David met me at the diner. He wanted to talk with me in private. He was confused and worried, telling me of an argument you had with Hook and how he had forced you to make peace with him again. He told me you'd been completely shaken and desperate when you'd come back and he had felt guilty for it because he believed he had worsened everything between the two of you."

"But it wasn't his fault", Emma sighed sorrowful, "David had nothing to do with it."

"I know that", she said and looked angry at her, "the question is did the two of you already have that thing you had tonight?"

"Tonight was the fourth time", Emma said looking down at her hands again.

"I don't need to know the details. Tell me just one thing. Do you love Hook?"

"I love Neal."

"But you didn't kiss Neal just now but Hook."

Emma sighed, "I chose Neal."

"I know that you did that", Mary Margaret said, "but what do you feel for Hook?"

She stared at her hands for a long moment without saying anything. And when her mother already wanted to start to talk again she said, "what we did was wrong."

"I know that, you say it but does Hook know either?"

"I told him."

"And what did he say?"

"Nothing. He just asked me, why I didn't stop him if it really was."

Snow looked at her seriously, "and why didn't you?"

Emma froze. She gave it a thought. Thanks to Snow she was able to think straight about it instead of worrying and being confused like she had been all the time, but her answer didn't change, "I don't know."

"And you don't love him?"

"I love Neal."

"Yeah, but the one thing doesn't exclude the other, does it", Mary Margaret smiled sadly at her, "look. I think what you need right now is a moment to think and to find out what you really want. You need a moment to decide who you want to be with."

"But I already did."

"Yes. I know", she said and sighed, "and you made that decision thinking of Henry and what would be best for him."

"Is there anything wrong with that?"

"No", she smiled, "it's good and logical. But Emma… do you and Neal have problems?"

Emma sighed and drank another sip of her coffee, that was already getting cold now, "to have problems you'd need to see each other more often than we do, I guess."

"And why is that so?"

"He is with the Darlings all the time."

"And why don't you join him?"

"He never asked me to."

Snow frowned, "but you ask him?"

Emma stared at her in shock. She had never done that. She had never tried to get in between the Darlings and him. She had always just stood back and watched from behind, "no."

"And why that?"

"I don't know."

"But I do", Mary Margaret sighed, "because you didn't want to. So I ask you again…do you love Hook?"

Emma shook her head not willing to believe her and to admit that she might have a point. Not wanting to admit what she was feeling and hiding down in that chest she had buried inside herself.

Snow sighed and smiled at her sadly again before her expression turned serious and she looked straight into her eyes, "if you don't have feelings for Hook, than why is he threatening you through telling he'd leave forever?"

Emma froze. She hadn't noticed that. She hadn't thought of all that at all. She hadn't noticed anything of all that.

"Look", her mother said emphasizing with her, "you should take some time off to think everything through so you can make your decision and find out, what you really feel. And if you make your choice this time, do it with your heart instead of her head. Love is always a matter of love. You can't find it through logic, Emma. Where's love there isn't any logic sometimes."

Emma looked at her like she was asking for her help without saying even a single word, "but I need to pick up Pinocchio tomorrow so he can take back his wish and then I need to talk with the Blue Fairy so she can make peace with Tinkerbelle and then…"

"You won't do any of this tomorrow", Mary Margaret stated not allowing any protest, "I'll do it for. You'll take this key", she fished in her pockets for something and gave it to her, "and then you drive into the forest and spent the weekend in Gold's cabin."

Emma stared down at the key, "Mr. Gold's… why do you have that key?"

"He lend it to me around two weeks ago."

"And what will you tell David and Neal and Henry?"

Mary Margaret smiled and touched her hand gently, "don't worry. I'll think of something. All you need to think of now is yourself. Emma true love never is easy and I think you still haven't forgiven Neal whatever happened between the two of you completely yet."

---

Hook waited in front of the convent. The last night had hurt him more than he wanted to admit. He loved Emma and he really wanted to be close to her and enjoyed when they actually were, but he couldn't go on like this anymore. He had understood it when he had left her flat.

Tinkerbelle had been talking of fighting and not giving up no matter what would happen, but she had been wrong. What was fighting good for if you couldn't ever win what you actually wanted? What was it good for, if all you achieved was getting hurt in the end? What was it good for, if she'd never admit her feelings for him, no matter what she felt for real? He knew she loved him as well, Tinkerbelle assumed it but she refused to admit it. What was left to do for him, if she didn't want him? He had kept the promise he'd made back in Neverland about winning her over, but it was pointless if she didn't want him.

He sighed and looked at the big double door he was standing in front of once again. He could hear the tiger inside the church but he didn't dare to take a look inside not because he was scared of the animal the Blue Fairy had turned into, but because he didn't trust himself. There was no doubt he could fight her off, if she'd attack him but he was afraid that deep down his soul he didn't really want to win, if he kept thinking of his loss.

"Morning", he heard someone say behind him, but he hadn't thought to hear that voice today.

When he turned to look at her, Snow White was standing behind him with Pinocchio. Snow White not Emma.

He frowned but he didn't dare to ask the question she expected him to already guessing what her answer would be. Emma had decided to stay away from him. She wanted to avoid him now.

"So what now", Snow asked.

He looked at her in surprise, "didn't Emma tell you?"

"Not really."

"Fine", Hook kneeled down in front of the boy she had taken along with her, "kid, do you remember the Blue Fairy?"

Pinocchio nodded.

"Imagine her like you remember her when you've seen her the last time."

"Like when we were in front of the sheriff's office?"

"Yes", Hook waited for a moment feeling Snow watching him closely, "do you see her?"

"And now?"

"Now you wish to see her", Hook explained, "wish it with all your heart."

He stood up and turned to look at the nun standing beside the back entrance to the church. She nodded and was about to give Nova a sign who was up in the church waiting for a sign so she could throw the fairy dust on the tiger when the animal roared and Pinocchio opened his eyes again.

"Is that a tiger?"

Hook sighed. He had wanted to fool him so the Blue Fairy would be turned back like she had been turned in the first place. Now they had a problem.

Mary Margaret noticed his reaction and bit her bottom lip, "Pinocchio why don't you walk over to that nun and take a look from afar. I'll explain everything to you in a moment, okay?"

The boy followed her request with joy and left them alone.

"That was a nice try", she started, "and what do we do now?"

"I don't know", he sighed and stared at the door in front of him like it would show him the answer every minute. Of course it didn't.

"Can we talk about something else?"

"And the Blue Fairy?"

"She's been a tiger for almost three days now. I guess she can survive being one for another ten minutes."

"Your words in her ears", he joked but he didn't really feel like that.

"Even if not, I'm her friend and she'll forgive me", she walked back to the stairs and sat down: "come here. We need to talk."

"Do we?"

"Well, I could imagine who you want to talk with, but she isn't here and you have to live with me for now."

Hook walked up to her and sat down, "there is nothing to talk about anymore. It's pointless anyway."

"What is pointless?"

"Everything", he said and looked ahead in sorrow.

"Is that the reason you told her you'd leave", Mary Margaret asked, "or did you want to threaten her into something she doesn't really want?"

He frowned at her, "I never meant to threaten her into something."

"And why did you say that?"

"I wanted to make things clear. I wanted her to understand that this can't go on the way it's now."

"I agree."

Hook looked at her curious, "did she say I threatened her?"

Before she could answer he jumped to his feat again, "I can't believe that! She grabbed me, yesterday. I wanted to talk and suddenly she was kissing me like she wanted to get under my skin."

Mary Margaret looked at him in surprise and raised her eyebrows. He misunderstood it completely and didn't give her the chance to say anything, "so she did! Unbelievable. And you believed her of course."

"Why should she lie to me", she asked when she finally had the chance to say something.

He sighed, "the problem is, she doesn't even though it's not true."

She frowned, "how is that possible?"

"She believes it herself, that's the problem."

"Did she say that?"

"No need to."

"And what do you think is real", Snow asked curious.

He calmed down again and sighed, "she doesn't want to admit it. I know it. I can feel it."

"What?"

"Or at least I hope so."

"What", she asked again and watched him closely.

"She loves me."

She stared at him for a long moment, "how do you know that? Why are you so sure about it? She's got a family, Hook. She is happy."

He smiled sadly at her, "is she?"

Mary Margaret opened her mouth to say something. But she closed it again without even making one sound. She couldn't say her daughter was happy, not after the conversation she had had with her last night. Not after everything she knew about the problems her daughter had not just with Neal but also with him. Problems she hadn't noticed at all, since she had never been able to build the important connection between daughter and mother that would have been needed for it.

"Didn't you know David loved you no matter what happened between the two of you? After your first kiss did you ever have to question his love?"

"No", she said slowly, "but our situation had been completely different."

"Right", he sighed, "and when you were cursed and had your affair with him? Did you ever doubt he loved you?"

She gave it a long thought, "even when he believed I had killed his wife I didn't really doubt that."

"You see?"

"And what now", she asked him still not completely satisfied, "what will you do? She doesn't know what she want anymore at the moment. That's your fault, you know? And I want her to be happy."

Hook closed his eyes like he was preying he wouldn't need to give her that answer. But it was useless and he knew it even without her saying out loud.

"I need to talk with her."

"Now", Snow asked in disbelieve, "I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Because she isn't here. She left this morning to have some time to think. And she is right about that."

He stared at her, "to where?"

Mary Margaret shook her head, "no Hook. I won't tell you."

"Please."

"No", she repeated, "she needs time. You need to give her that."

He sighed and frowned. He knew she was right, but he wanted to talk with her so badly, "how long will she stay?"

"As long as it will take her to find an answer."

He got to his feet and walked up and down the stairs again. Mary Margaret watched him. She couldn't help but feel sorry for him. She had noticed the connection he had to her daughter and even though she couldn't say she liked it, she actually wanted to tell him, where she was. Maybe he'd do something wrong? Or not… In the end Emma had to make that decision and not her and she knew that. She thought of all the obstacles David and her had been through to finally be together and everything they'd lost in the process. She didn't wish that for her daughter.

But if she told Hook where she was, she had to tell Neal either and then she wouldn't find her answer at all.

She sighed. Neal. He hadn't even noticed that she wasn't at home anymore yet. He had disappeared to the Darlings again and would be gone for the rest of the day. She liked him, but she couldn't understand him.

"Fine", she heard herself say even before she knew what she was going to do, "but we need to take care of the Blue Fairy first."

"You'll tell me where she is", he asked in surprise and stared at her like she had grown a second head.

"We'll see", she backed off again, "the Blue Fairy is all we need to think about now."

---

Emma sighed. She had spent the whole weekend alone in that cabin of Gold. Nobody knew she was here except her mother and her father. She had been all alone and it had been great. In the past being alone had been an obstacle to her. But this weekend had been the first time ever since she had entered Storybrook she really had been alone and she had enjoyed it. She was sitting in her car now. She'd been driving around the whole day trying to clear her mind. She had made a decision and was thinking about a way to react to it without hurting anyone with it too much.

What she had with Neal was nice but Henry had been right. It wasn't more than friendship what they shared. Their love had disappeared in their past. It had died and turned into something else. Into a memory that would always be there in the backs of their hearts and minds and that would last forever. But it wasn't the real thing itself anymore. It wasn't intense enough anymore. There was no passion left. She didn't long to see him, as she had noticed through this weekend like she had never done it before. And he was always away with the Darlings so she assumed he didn't mind either. He had told her he would fight for her back in Neverland and she knew he had really meant to do it. But he was just as blind as her. He didn't love her anymore. That was the reason he hadn't come back to her, when he had heard she was done with breaking the curse and had himself engaged to another woman, Tamara. It was the reason he hadn't believed in her when she had told him something was wrong with that woman. It had been the reason he had never apologized for what he had done and it was the explanation he had taken his fear of being found by his father first instead of her. Fine, she wasn't sure about the last one, but it would be an explanation for it.

Her problem right now was, that she didn't care about it anymore. She had finally given him and their past together free. She was able to go on from that now and she would do it.

The only problem was Henry now. She didn't want to disappoint the kid again. She had done it once before when she had lied to him about his father and maybe even more times than just that one. She didn't want to see him sad because she didn't want to stay with his father anymore.

On the other hand he had told her he wanted her to be happy and he had noticed they didn't love each other even before she had done it. Maybe he would be fine with it as long as they'd stay friends and wouldn't start fighting each other? Was that possible? She hoped so.

Emma leaned back in her seat and looked out of the windshield in front of her into the night. It was raining outside. Was that a bad bode? Would she destroy everything through ending her relationship with Neal? Would she be free of it but end up sad and all alone?

It was almost funny how everyone seemed to have noticed their relationship was broken not just Henry while she had been blind for it. Maybe it was true and sometimes you needed enough space from something to see the truth behind it.

Emma left her car nervously. She didn't like what she'd have to do now. But there was no doubt it was necessary. It was the only way both of them might become happy one day.

She surrounded her bug and entered Granny's inn where the Darlings were living at. She didn't want to call him. She knew if she'd do it, he'd just ask her where she had been the whole weekend and while answering his questions she'd lose the power she had and needed to do this.

Granny was standing behind the counter doing her billing of the weekend as it seemed. Emma couldn't help but be a little surprised to see her here. She had noticed that the diner was still open and had expected her to be working in its kitchen.

"Oh, hello Emma", she greeted her looking up from her work and noticing her.

Emma stopped like she had been caught stealing something and stared at her. She had taken all her courage to come here and talk with Neal and now it vanished into thin air because it didn't work out the way she had wanted it to.

"Hello Granny", she said slowly and walked up to her, "is Neal here?"

"Neal", she asked a little surprised, "no. Wait let me think about it…He left with Tinkerbelle earlier this evening."

"Don't you have work at the diner", Emma tried to continue the conversation out of politeness but mostly to avoid stupid rumors about her searching for her man who was betraying her with the fallen fairy or something equal.

"Ruby is doing the job and this late there isn't anyone who'll want to eat something anymore, I'm sure. But this paperwork won't disappear if I won't do something about it", she pointed at the calculations in front of her, "I think they wanted to go the convent. The Blue Fairy isn't a tiger anymore, you know? But I assume you already know that."

Emma frowned, "the convent? Did they mention what they wanted to do there?"

Granny shook her head and shrugged, "I've no idea. Maybe Neal wants to return her help with this Wendy Darling?"

"Tinkerbelle helped as well", Emma raised an eyebrow in surprise. She hadn't known that. She had believed it had always been the Darlings and him only. She hadn't wanted to interrupt all the time and now she had to find out Tinkerbelle had been part of the team the whole time. A part of her was hurt to hear that. It was the part that stuck to their past and what it had been like once. But she knew that this hurt she was feeling now was just hurt pride and nothing else.

"Yes", Granny answered her question not knowing her thoughts, "is something wrong?"

"No", Emma smiled, "now everything is just fine."

She left the inn and drove to the convent. So Neal didn't just hang out with the Darlings but with Tinkerbelle as well and Mary Margaret and Hook had succeeded to turn the Blue fairy back into…well…a fairy. It was great to know that Storybrook would fall apart if she wasn't there to take care of it. It gave her a feeling of freedom. Up to now she hadn't even noticed she had felt responsible for everything in this town.

Emma smiled and pushed the gas pedal further down to increase her speed. The streetlamps lighted the street everywhere she passed them driving through the rain until she stopped in front of the stairs that lead to the church belonging to the convent. She left her car and take a look around before she ran up the stairs to the church to escape the rain purring on her.

Inside the pews were completely destroyed. Some were shattered others had scratches of big claws and everything smelled of an animal that had been captured inside here. The church was damaged but Emma had no doubt Geppetto would help to rebuild it after everything Pinocchio had done in this matter without knowing it at all. The old man would be glad to help the nuns after all the trouble caused be his son.

She took a look around and sighed. There was nobody here. She had hoped to find Neal here since it was the only place he was allowed to go to at this convent but it appeared he wasn't here any longer.

"Emma", she heard a familiar voice ask through the silence of the holy place. She looked up to find the Blue Fairy standing in front of her across the room. She walked up to her and took her hands into hers, when she smiled at her thankfully, "I'm so glad to see you."

"You're free again", she returned her smile, "how are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine, don't worry. They took great care of me, while I was a tiger. How can I help you?"

"I'm actually looking for Neal", she explained before she added, "I'm sorry. Please don't believe I wouldn't care about what happened to you."

"Neal is up in the roof", she told her, "he wants to make sure that nothing like this can happen again. He said it was a favor Tinkerbelle had requested from him after helping the Darlings with Wendy. Tinkerbelle actually has stopped her from growing older than her brothers. She would have died, you know?"

"And what about Tinkerbelle and you?"

"Snow took care of us", the Blue fairy seemed a little ashamed, "she cleared my mind and brought me back to my senses like only a true friend can do it."

Emma smiled, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

The Blue fairy looked at her for a long moment before she smiled, "could it be you're searching for answers, Emma?"

She raised an eyebrow. That woman really had way too much flair for stuff like this.

"Not anymore", she smiled back at her.

"At least you think so", Blue answered seriously, "but I've no doubt you'll make your way. You can reach him over that staircase", she pointed to her left, "it leads up into the tower. He is checking the wooden planks for wholes up there."

"Thank you", she whispered and rushed up those stairs into the tower, where the bells were hanging. She didn't even need to get up the whole way, since she met Neal almost half the way up. He was kneeling on the floor, nails sticking out of his mouth and pushing another one with a gavel through a new plank which he wanted to add to the way Nova would have to take in the future.

Since he was kneeling with the back to her, he shrugged and hit the thumb of his left hand, when she said, "hello Neal."

He cursed and turned around to look at her while he kept blowing at his hurting thumb like it could help to ease the pain.

Emma smiled. Sometimes he was just like a small boy, "sorry, didn't want to frighten you."

He smiled back and narrowed his eyes, "sorry, but…who are you again?"

"Haha", she said sarcastically, "oh, come on. I wasn't away that long."

"You didn't even say a single word before you left. You just disappeared", he got up to his feet and walked up to her, "would've been great to know where you were at least."

"Mary Margaret knew", she sat down on the stairs she had just climbed up and pointed for him to sit down beside her. He followed her offer and leaned his arms at his knees the hammer still in his right hand.

"But she refused to tell anyone."

Emma shrugged and pointed at the hammer, "what do you need that for now? Do you want to knock me out for disappearing for a weekend", she joked and watched him putting it aside.

He became serious again when he looked at her, "honestly, where have you been? And what have you been doing? I hope it wasn't dangerous?"

"It wasn't", she sighed and looked at her hands she was kneading in her lap nervously now, "I just had to clear my mind."

"You're really nervous aren't you", he asked noticing her reaction to his question by following her gaze. He smiled, "what was it about?"

She took a deep breath, "about us." She waited and watched him. She wanted to see what her words would do to him, when he'd realize what she'd just told him. When he'd understand that she was worried and thought something was odd between them.

It didn't take him long to realize it. The wrinkles around his eyes slowly vanished and left a worried expression he was looking at her with now. His smile disappeared and the Neal she had met in Manhattan who had to accept he'd have to face his father again, was sitting in front of her again. He was worried and he knew something bad was about to come upon him.

He didn't say anything, so she continued, "Neal… what we have is something nice."

"Yes", he asked carefully.

She swallowed hard, "it's always been…well…except that one time or the other one…"

He looked down at his knees, "I know, there is a lot I did wrong…."

"This is not about the past, Neal", she stopped him from apologizing, "this is about us, about who we are today and who we are together."

He looked into her eyes in confusion and maybe he even was a little bit curious, "what do you mean?"

"Neal…we both know what we have is not what we expected it to be. Or at least it's not what I expected."

He nodded in silent agreement, "but we aren't the same people like back then anymore either."

"Yes", she admitted, "but we stick to their feelings without really feeling them."

He let out a heavy breath like he had to accept a lot with that one sentence.

Emma went on, "Neal, are you really happy with this? With all this? With us?"

"We are a great family."

"With Henry, yes. But what about us? Just the two of us, you and me?"

"It works out fine", Neal answered without even thinking about it. Emma watched him for a long moment unable to see if he really meant it like that or if he was just has blind has she had been the whole time.

"It works out fine", she repeated rolling her eyes, "Neal, that is not what love should be about, is it?"

"What do you want to say?"

"In those past three days I wasn't there, did you miss me? And please be honest. You don't need to say something just because you think you have to in order to protect me from the truth", she watched him again and this time he really thought about it. At first he had wanted to answer her right away like he had done it before, but when she had finished her sentence, he had closed his mouth again. He frowned like he was suddenly seeing something he hadn't noticed before at all. Or maybe it was something he hadn't wanted to admit even to himself?

"When you were with the Darlings did you ever think it would be great to have me with you guys? Did you ever want to be with me instead of them?"

His face turned pale, "why are you asking me all this?"

"Because it's important", she sighed, "and we've ignored it way too long now, Neal."

"What do you mean?"

Emma sighed, "do you love me Neal?"

"Yes."

"Do you miss me when I'm gone", she asked again, "do want to be with me? Do you feel happy when I'm with you? Do you feel a need to touch me? Do you miss kissing me, when we're not together? Are you getting nervous around me even after everything we've gone through? Does your heartbeat increase when we're close to each other?"

Neal opened his mouth and closed it again for several times while he was thinking about all that. She didn't need to wait for his answers. She already knew them even without looking at him it was perfectly clear.

"But Emma, maybe we need to try a little harder", he tried to convince her, "we haven't really spent a lot time with each other since we came back from Neverland. Maybe that's the problem."

"You didn't even tell me Tinkerbelle was helping you with Wendy", Emma said, "and I didn't tell you about the Blue Fairy being turned into a tiger even though it was my biggest problem a week ago. We don't talk, Neal. You never tell me anything about your past with the Darlings or Hook or about what live was like when you escaped Neverland for the first time. You hide all of that stuff. You never have the need to tell me anything about all that. I don't even know how you spent most of the time since we came back from Neverland. And so don't you about me."

He turned all silent and didn't speak for a long moment. He looked down the staircase in front of them and sighed, before he swallowed hard, "and what do you think our feelings are?"

"Memories", she answered without hesitation, "nothing else. It's just our memories of who we've been together and the feelings we had back then and nothing else. We're sticking to the past because it was nice and easy, but it's not there anymore."

"You really thought about it, didn't you", he almost smiled.

"I spent the whole weekend with it…maybe even longer than that."

He sighed, "I'm relieved you didn't decide this in just three days."

Emma looked at him worried about what he might say now. She had hurt him and she could understand that. She would have been hurt as well, if he'd come to tell her something like this all of a sudden. If he'd come to break up with her out of nowhere.

His reaction tasted bitter on her tongue and she didn't say anything anymore, waiting for him to say something again. He deserved it to have that time to think about everything. He deserved to make his point clear as well.

"Is there another man", he asked slowly.

"What?"

"Well, you told me something about we didn't even know what the other one was doing the whole time…so I guessed I had the right to ask that."

Emma took a deep breath already knowing who he was thinking about now, "I don't know."

Neal frowned, "you don't? But if not you, who else does?"

She sighed, "there is the thought of someone else."

"Hook."

Emma turned all silent for a moment before she looked into his eyes again, "and what about Tinkerbelle?"

"Jealous?"

"If I were I wouldn't be sitting here like this with you now, don't you think?"

He looked at her like she had slapped him and regretted her harsh words immediately, "look, I'm not hear to blame you for something. I just want to point out the truth."

A truth that hurt like hell, she knew that. But it needed to hurt to be understood as the true thing it was.

"Truth? How can you know that?"

"I do", she answered like this would drive out any other doubt, "and deep down I guess you know it, too."

Neal sighed and leaned back to stare at the ceiling.

"You like Tinkerbelle, don't you?"

"I always did", he admitted, "but this is not the same."

"You didn't tell me she was helping you guys", she continued even though it sounded like she was blaming him after all, "you didn't even tell me you were seeing her at all. She means more to you than just a friend doesn't she?"

Neal froze for a second before he leaned forward again relaxing his arms on his knees, "she's always been important to me, but when I was a kid she didn't want me."

"And now?"

He stopped, "you know it's strange to talk with you about that?"

"I know", she admitted, "because we never have done something like that before. But does it really bother you because you love me? Do you have a guilty conscience because of it?"

Neal sighed, "shit."

"Yes", she said and almost smiled, "that's almost the same reaction I had."

"It sucks."

"Indeed."

"And what do we do now?"

Emma sighed, "I don't know. We could keep going on the way we did up to now."

"Which means, we won't see each other too often and spent our times like we want to even though we are together with others and every now and then we spent time with Henry all together like a big but broken family?"

"Just because we're not together doesn't mean our family is broken", Emma stated, "our family is different, yes, but what could you expect if Snow White, the Evil Queen, prince Charming and Rumplestiltskin are involved? Not to mention Robin Hood."

"Robin Hood?"

"You didn't notice? Regina and him are getting along quite well."

Neal frowned, "I guess Henry said something like that."

"You see", she smiled, "our family is big and complicated but not broken. Not anymore. It would be, if we couldn't stand each other anymore or if one of us would suddenly lose interest in our son. But we don't do we?"

He hugged her, "no. We don't. Just tell me you're not running to Hook now?"

She froze and leaned back to see his face again, "no. But why would that be a problem?"

He shrugged, "you know, technically he is something like my stepfather."

"Yeah", Emma added, "and technically both of you should already have been dead over centuries."

Neal grinned, "sorry. It's just strange."

"Isn't it more about me having an affair with him while we were still together than that?"

He stared at her, "you had an affair with him?"

"No", which was the truth. You could hardly call kissing having an affair with someone, "I actually wanted to point out the rumors that could come up through that."

Neal seemed relieved, "yes."

"What about Tinkerbelle and you?"

He looked down at his hands and sighed, "I don't know. She wanted to get back inside the family of the fairies again and now she can have it finally."

Emma patted his back gently, "so?"

He made a gesture that included the whole convent, "well, you see how they live, Emma. There is no place for me."

She sighed, "but maybe if she understands that she has the choice she doesn't want to be part of all this anymore, Neal. You never know and by the way…things are changing a lot lately. She's never been part of the convent and maybe she can be both a fairy and a normal woman."

"Not if you ask Nova about her story with Leroy", he said disappointed.

"Neal", she said slowly and got back to her feet again, "someone told me once that love wasn't easy and that you had to fight for it. You can't just lean back wait for it to happen and to work out on its own. You need to become active in order to make it succeed. I know you can that."

"And what about you", he asked looking up to her curious.

Emma smiled sadly, "I hope I can it, too."

She left him behind knowing that she had just closed a door she'd never open again. She had closed a door to a past that hadn't been only filled with pain and sorrow, but also with happy times full of love and hope and happiness. It felt strange and it even hurt a little. But she knew she had done the right thing. She knew the future was lying to her feet now like a path that was just waiting for her to walk over it. A path that could lead her everywhere and that was exciting but dangerous for her as well.

---

Emma drove back to the cabin. Even though she had decided to let go of Neal and to say goodbye to him at least, she hadn't decided upon anything concerning Hook yet. She didn't know if she really wanted to think about it yet, but she knew she had to after all. She owed it to herself and maybe even more to him.

He had done everything for her, he had always been there for her after they'd finally put aside their arguments about getting home to Storybrook from the Enchanted Forest again. She had always be able to count on him no matter what she did and who she had chosen to be with. He had never stopped believing in her, not even when he had told her she was useless back when she had been trapped in Rumplestiltskin's cell when he had tried to convince her that she couldn't do anything. That had been like a challenge for her and it was later on, that she realized he had told her to be useless because he wanted to shake her completely aware of how dangerous she actually had been for him and his revenge. He had admitted it himself when they'd been back to Storybrook after saving Henry.

She left her bug and walked up to the cabin she'd been staying at the past weekend. She had to be sure about him, before she'd do something. She was afraid to make the wrong choice again. She had wasted too much time with that already and she didn't want to continue that now. And on top of that she had to think of Henry. It would already be hard enough for him that his parents broke up, she didn't want to increase his troubles through confronting him with a man, she didn't love in the end after all.

Henry… she missed him so much already. Calling him everyday wasn't enough. She wanted to see him again, to touch him, to have fun with him and to eat way too much ice cream with him.

But he'd need to wait. All of that would need to wait. First she'd need to make a decision. A decision that really was important for her. It could change her live after all.

The conversation with Neal had turned out better than she actually had expected it to. And she could just hope what ever choice she'd make it would turn out just as easy as that.

She entered the cabin and took off her jacket before she made some fire and got herself something to eat. When she was done she grabbed a blanket and made herself comfortable on the couch with a cup of tea. She was perfectly aware of how much a cliché this might be looking like to someone on the outside but she didn't care at all. She just wanted to think and to relax. Nothing else was more important than this now. And all that was disturbing her right now was the sound of the crackling fire in the fireplace that was keeping her warm in a way a heater could never achieve it.

She drank a sip of her tea and stared into the flames that were eating the pieces of wood she had used on it until her mobile phone rang. It was incredible it did work out here at all. She took a short look at the display, Neal… Oh no. She didn't want to talk with him now. She was afraid about what he'd tell her almost three hours after their conversation. She was afraid he'd make a step back again. She turned her phone off and threw it on the armchair next to the couch she was lying on. She didn't want to have that kind of conversation with him now. Or with anyone else.

"Not answering? I bet he's disappointed now."

She froze. She hadn't even realized someone had gotten inside the cabin. He must had already been there when she had come back. But how had he found her at all if he hadn't followed her back from the convent?

Emma didn't turn around to look at him. She simply waited for him to say something else while she looked at her cup. She'd become nervous immediately when she had recognized his voice. It was strange. She had never had a connection like that to someone. There had never been someone with so much influence on her before, never in her entire life. It was frightening…somehow.

"What no greetings?"

She took another sip of tea waiting for him to continue and trying to figure out what she was actually feeling for him in the meantime. That he had suddenly shown up here had destroyed all of her plans now. She knew he didn't mean to, but now he was actually pushing her like he never wanted it to. She knew that he never wanted that. He had told her often enough.

"Is that the conclusion you've made? You just ignore me?"

"No", she whispered to her cup.

"Then what is it?"

"I don't know."

"Don't you know or don't you want to admit?"

"What reason could I have to deny it", she frowned. There it was. The one thing she had always known to be there but she had never found out what it actually was about until now.

She heard his coat rustling behind her back when he made a movement and he sighed like it was hard for him to say it out loud, "I'm not really the man parents would chose for their daughters."

"Good that my parents never had a word in stuff like that", she said smiling into her cup, "or anything else…"

"I tend to do things that disgust people."

"Been there, seen that", she admitted, "and I've seen you doing things that weren't even slightly disgusting as well."

"I'm a pirate", he finally said what seemed to be troubling him the most.

"So? I'm a thief, an ex convict because of it, a bail bondsperson, a sheriff, somehow a princess and worst than all of that a savior", she listed, "but those are just titles." She didn't add the orphan thing on purpose. She hadn't made her decision yet and didn't won't to remind him that he had known her all along. She gave this a thought.

"Yes. But I really am a pirate, love, not just through the title."

"That's not what I wanted to point out", she admitted, "that title might describe what you do and how you behave but it doesn't clarify what you are."

"And what am I?"

"A man with a very open heart who is able to put others first instead of his own wishes and needs even though he can be selfish sometimes."

He was silent for a long moment like he had stopped breathing and made her curious. But she didn't turn to look at him. Instead of that she just took another sip from her tea, before she placed the empty cup on the coffee table beside her.

She heard him move again and when she saw him the first time after four days, he was reaching for a piece of wood to throw it into the fire like it was the most normal thing to do for him right now.

"That's actually not what I wanted to talk about."

Emma frowned, "and what was it?"

"I was wondering if your actual choice is giving you such a hard time that you can't tell me?"

She didn't answer him.

"Why are you here?"

She frowned, "to make a decision. You asked me to, remember?"

"Yes", he was staring into the flames standing out against it like a creature of the night in front of the rising sun, "I did indeed", he was silent for a while before he continued, "But this won't help you, love."

Emma stared at his back in confusion, "why not?"

"Because you're still trying to make your decision with your head."

She sighed, "and how do you expect me to do it?"

He shrugged, "it's simple. Do it with your heart, love."

"Aha", she said like she didn't know that already. But how exactly did he expect her to do that? Through writing stupid poems? Or letters? Or songs? Or making lists like a stupid teenager? Lists that were pointless in the end anyway? She wanted to ask him that, but her question turned out completely different to it, "Hook, why are you here?"

His body became tense. It was so subtle, that she wouldn't even have noticed it, if she hadn't been watching him like she was still doing it. She frowned unable to understand what it was about at all.

He didn't answer her question, "why did you ignore Neal?"

"Didn't want to talk with him now", she answered and tried to corner him again, "why don't you answer my question?"

"Why do you still need to ask something like that?"

"Were you afraid I'd just leave?"

"Why do you ask questions you already know the answers for?"

"Or did you just miss me", she asked understanding that his answer to this one would be more important than anything else.

"Shouldn't you be worrying about your decision you need to make", he seemed angry but she couldn't really understand why.

Emma sighed and looked at the edge of her blanket she was playing with to stop her hands from shaking. That would have been the only sign that would have given away to him, how hurt she was now. Hurt and disappointed.

"I would, if you wouldn't have shown up here tonight", she stated, "how did you find me?"

Hook sighed again, "Mary Margaret. She finally told me today."

"Finally", she frowned. She would never have expected her mother to tell him of all people where she actually was.

"Took me three days to convince her to tell me", he explained, "and I spent the whole day searching for this place."

"I thought she told you?"

"She didn't say where it is", he explained and leaned himself at the fireplace pushing himself off with his hands, "she helped me with the fairies and the lad. Was quite a surprise to see her instead of you."

"She'd offered it to me", Emma explained, "and it worked out as it seems."

"Took a whole day to convince the kid to turn her back into a fairy after he had found out about the tiger."

"He found out about it? Why", now she was curious.

"The tiger roared when we wanted to start", he explained, "and the kid understood immediately. He believed we were giving it to him. You have no idea how disappointed he was, when he understood that he had to give it up."

"I see", Emma whispered.

"In the end you were right."

"About what", she frowned afraid of what he'd say now. She had said so much in the past weeks and there were things she openly regretted now.

"That nobody always can have what he wants to."

Her heart sank into her stomach and she was feeling ill all of a sudden, "but sometimes it works."

"Sometimes", he repeated before he turned around to look at her, "sometimes is not enough."

Emma frowned, "how do you expect me to make my choice?"

Hook sighed like her question was pointless, "through this", he made a gesture that was including everything in the room. But she understood that he was actually talking of their interaction now.

His gaze turned even darker, "Emma, I've decided to leave."

She sat up and stared at him, "why?"

"Because this isn't right. It only hurts us."

She frowned unwilling to hear that or to believe his words, "first you tell me to make a choice and now you tell me you'll leave anyway? What kind of logic is this, Hook?"

"That's the point. The heart doesn't follow logic."

"I know but that doesn't really explain all that."

He stayed at the fireplace even though she had expected him to come closer or to even take her face into his hands to look at her and show her that he still loved her.

"I'm not doing us a favor if I stay. You can't make a choice or at least you can't chose me and I can't stand beside you watching you with another man for the rest of my life", he explained, "so I'll make it easier for us and leave."

Her face was pale and she felt numb, "when?"

He looked down at his feet.

"You've got to be kidding me", she stated in a whisper, "you keep telling me, you wouldn't use tricks on me.."

"This isn't a trick", he disturbed her.

But she didn't care and went on, "or push me into something. And now you say you'll just leave if I can't tell you that I'd pick you right now?"

Hook sighed, "I'm not threatening you."

"No? And how do you call this?"

He wetted his lips, "I'll leave at the end of the week. In three days from now."

"That's not the end of the week. A week has got seven days not just three. And it's Monday."

Hook sighed, "three days."

She got up to her feet, "why are you doing that?"

"Because it's easier for all of us", he walked up to the door.

"To give me an ultimate? How is that supposed to be easy? You don't even know my answer and you're already giving up?"

"If there really was something you wouldn't need to find that answer, it would just be there", he reached the door with her on his heels.

"That doesn't change the fact that you're pushing me now."

He stopped and sighed heavily, "three days, Emma. And chose with your heart."

He disappeared into the night. Emma knew she should follow him, but her legs wouldn't listen to her. Now she really had something to worry about. Now she had to be afraid of losing him completely and forever. She was feeling ill now.

She couldn't understand why it had become so urgent for him that she finally made her choice now. He had waited for an answer for months and now he couldn't wait another seven days? What was wrong with him?

Emma stared at the door he had just disappeared through. His words still ringing in her ears. "If there really was something you wouldn't need to find that answer, it would just be there", she remembered him say and it hurt in her heart to hear it again.

Maybe that had been the answer she had been searching for all along? Maybe he had just given her the solution she had hoped to find here far away from everything and everyone?

Emma ran out into the rain not caring about becoming wet or catching a cold. All that mattered was to find him, to stop him before he'd leave her like all the other people in her life had already done it before. She yelled his name and searched for him in the forest surrounding the cabin she had spent the past four days at. He had given her three days after all. Three days to explain everything to the people she loved before she would leave with him, if it was necessary to stay with him.

Henry.

Well, she'd just need to convince him that they wouldn't stay away from Storybrook and her family forever if he'd insist on leaving. But she hoped there was no need to.

---

"Oh, you're back", David greeted her when she entered her office, "we missed you. Are you alright?"

"Yes", Emma said and smiled at him honestly, "yes, everything is alright now." It had never been better she added in her thoughts feeling like a huge weight had fallen off her heart so she could breath freely again.

David looked at her for a long moment and smiled back at her before his expression changed into something she couldn't really define, "heard about Neal."

Oh, that's what it was, he felt sorry for her or at least he tried to.

"It was time to put an end to it", she said softly and meant it like that. She didn't hate Neal or regretted their time together, but things definitely were better now.

"I see", David said carefully like he was afraid to say something wrong and leaned back in his chair playing with a pencil.

Emma took a look around and changed the subject, "did I miss a lot?"

Her father shrugged, "oh, just that the Blue Fairy is back thanks to Hook and that she's completed Gold's spell now."

That was just fine with her. She wasn't into this magic stuff that much after all. But there was one thing that echoed in her ears, "thanks to Hook?"

The pirate hadn't said a single word when he had visited her last night at least not about his role in the matter.

David smiled again, "well, when Pinocchio noticed the tiger he believed he would get him and thought it to be wise to sneak into the church to caress it and say hello. Hook noticed it first and followed him inside. He had to discover that the Blue Fairy didn't just look like a tiger, but had turned into one in every aspect."

"What does that mean", she frowned.

"She scratched his back, when he saved the boy and tried not to harm her", David explained and when he noticed her shocked expression he added, "she barely caught him or he'd be dead by now. Well…but it was bad enough to send him to the hospital. Mary Margaret locked the door again and a day later she had convinced Pinocchio that a tiger wasn't the right choice for a pet. The shock of what had happened to Hook through the tiger seemed to have been of help as well."

All Emma heard was his little "or he'd be dead by now", that shook her entire world. She had spent a nice weekend and yesterday in peace lying on the couch or taking a bath or going for a walk while he had spent his time in the hospital because she had left him all alone with that problem, "he came to visit yesterday, but he didn't tell me anything about that."

"Well, he would already have come to visit you earlier if he wouldn't have been hospitalized for three days."

"Just three days?"

"Yes. When the Blue Fairy was back and had recovered from her little time out she'd healed him with fairy dust, even though she had to break her own rules through that", he chuckled, "I guess she had a guilty conscience."

"And how did he find me", she asked curious about the reason her mother had told him of all people where she had been.

"Mary Margaret felt sorry for him, I assume. So she told him where you were when he was fine again", David sighed, "she would have told him earlier if she hadn't been afraid he'd just leave the hospital right away even though he was still injured."

It took her a moment to digest all this information, before she finally asked, "where is he?"

David shrugged, "don't know. He keeps buying stuff since yesterday. Maybe he's at the shop or down at the harbor", he assumed before his expression turned curious and he leaned forward to have a better look at her, "did he mention anything about leaving town yesterday?"

Emma felt like her blood had turned to ice and every beat of her heart hurt like hell. She couldn't deny it, she was afraid. She didn't waist time to answer David but simply left the station leaving him behind in confusion. She had already wasted enough time. Even before she left the office completely she started to run, entered her bug and drove as fast as possible down to the docks.

She couldn't believe he hadn't told her anything about all this. The Blue Fairy probably hadn't mentioned it because it had been to embarrassing for her. And Granny and Neal hadn't known anything for sure.

Emma walked up the planks to his ship relieved to see it was still there and hadn't vanished into nothing even though he had said he'd give her another three days.

"Are you looking for Hook", a familiar voice asked out of nowhere.

Emma took a look around turning around herself, but she couldn't see her anywhere.

"I'm up here."

She looked up the main mast and noticed Tinkerbelle climbing down to her, "you're often up there, aren't you?"

"I love that place", the fairy answered, "it reminds me of flying. I've always loved that. So are you looking for Hook", she stopped in front of her and smiled knowingly at her.

"Yes."

"Already guessed so. When he came back last night he still believed he'd no chance with you and wanted to leave town", she seemed to feel guilty when she continued, "maybe because I'd told him you'd talked with Neal."

Emma frowned and stared at her, "you did? How did you even know?"

Tinkerbelle looked to the side guiltily, "I heard you two", she explained slowly, "I was up that tower to get some fairy dust. Poor Wendy Darling. I tried to stop her aging, but it was too late and now I'm working on something that might turn her younger again so she can grow old with her brothers and have a life after everything Pan has done to her. But don't tell Blue."

"Why not", Emma asked carefully.

"I'm not so sure she'll like it. She might think it to be something we shouldn't be messing around with. But I know I can do it. She had done it herself before, when she turned Pinocchio back into a kid again after all. So if she can do it, I can either."

Emma sighed. That fairy was already starting another fight with the mother superior as it seemed. Something came into her mind, "what exactly did you tell Hook about my conversation with Neal?"

Tinkerbelle grinned at her and with that she destroyed every doubt that might have been there that she really had eavesdropped on them, "I told him you showed up and talked and all I could hear had been that it had nothing to do with Hook."

Emma stared at her, "why didn't you tell him about the rest as well." She remembered her sentence of last night perfectly. But she had said that because Neal had assumed her parting had to do with Hook. She didn't even want to think about what it might mean to Hook if he didn't know the context.

"I believed it to be something you need to do yourself after all that back and forth between the two of you", Tinkerbelle shrugged like it was meaningless, "it's not like I told him a lie or something like that."

"And how did he react", Emma asked slowly already guessing something.

Tinkerbelle frowned, "well…he was very silent all of a sudden and then he just disappeared. He didn't even change or something, I mean, he still wore the cloths he had gotten attacked by the Blue Fairy when she was a tiger. He could be glad his coat had been mended… Anyhow when he came back he was talking of leaving town this week. I just assumed he want to meet you?"

Emma sighed, "was he angry?"

"No…more disappointed", she said slowly and watched her carefully.

"Where is he now", Emma asked annoyed and a little worried now.

"I don't know", Tinkerbelle admitted nervously, "but I'm sure he'll be back soon. He wanted to take the Jolly Roger along…Did I do something wrong? I just wanted to annoy him a bit after everything I had to listen to those past weeks."

Emma stared at her. He had talked about them with her? When she had taken her here to stay with him she'd never expected something like that to happen at all!

Emma let out a breath and rolled her eyes, "he read something wrong into your words, I guess."

"Like what?"

"Something like I didn't want to be with him and was just too afraid to admit it. Something like I chose Neal instead of him again", she said before she mumbled to herself, "that would explain his behavior last night."

Tinkerbelle overheard her last sentence, "what did he do?"

Emma looked at her in surprise, "why do you care?"

The fairy sighed, "look, I know Hook for a very long time now and ever since he met you it's like he had changed and made a turn about a hundred and eighty degrees. When we were here together I felt so sorry for him because you couldn't decide what you want or at least you didn't admit it, what ever. I was so sorry for him, that I actually thought of using fairy dust to proof you two are true love."

Emma's mouth went dry, "and did you?"

Tinkerbelle shook her head, "he refused it. He said, "where'd be the tension then?""

Emma almost smiled. That sounded just like him.

"So", Tinkerbelle asked slowly, "what now?"

"I'll wait for him here, what else?"

---

Hook breathed in the air deeply, pulled it deep into his lungs until it almost hurt. But the cold air slicing into his bronchi until it felt like he could feel every single one of them was nothing compared to the way his heart was aching.

Sure, Emma hadn't said anything yet, but the longer he waited for her to do it the more he believed he'd lose her forever now. Maybe he had done something wrong. Maybe he should just have stayed back and waited for her to find out her relationship with Neal wasn't something real herself. Maybe he shouldn't have listened to Tinkerbelle but should have left already back then, when he had thrown her off his Jolly. He should just have taken her and left town without thinking of Emma again.

But he already knew that it would have been impossible for him. The problem was the unfinished business they would have had. He knew he wouldn't have been able to live without knowing he had tried everything. That he had fought for what he wanted.

He tightened the grip around the paper bag in his arms, filled with foot and rum…mostly rum. He'd need it now. He would drink until he'd forget everything about it. The fairy could just hope she wouldn't meet him before he would enter his cabin and lock his door or he'd simply throw her out.

Hook walked up on deck of his girl, the only woman who had never left him no matter what had happened. Yes, the Jolly Roger had always been loyal to him, loyal and strong. Maybe it was time to give up love. Maybe he had to accept that all he would ever have was his girl, his Jolly Roger the marvel that had sailed into his life one day all those centuries ago.

Tinkerbelle didn't show up. He was glad for it. He really wouldn't have wanted to handle her now. He wouldn't have wanted to listen to her allusions about Emma or her troubles with the Blue Fairy and the bloody Wendy Darling. Fine that girl hadn't been a problem to him ever since he had met her in Neverland for the first time, but to have to listen to Tinkerbelle talking about her all the time had already been annoying enough.

He entered his cabin and let the door fall shut without caring about it even a bit. He limped over to his desk and placed his shopping on its surface before he pulled one of the bottles with rum out of it. He had emptied his flask last night. He didn't even think of getting himself a glass before he started to drink it.

The Blue Fairy had healed his scratches, but there was still a shadow of his pain left that lingered in his movements from time to time. He stretched his back, when he took off his coat and threw it at his desk beside his shopping bag, "bloody tiger."

"Does it hurt?"

He froze. He hadn't even noticed he wasn't alone. Nor would he ever have thought her to be here. Here of all places.

"What a surprise, love", he said charmingly trying to hide his surprise, "want to tell me something?"

She didn't answer for a long time. He already guessed he had just imagined her to be there, when she finally talked again, "I talked with Neal."

He tried to prepare himself for what would follow these words now even though he knew there was nothing that could ease the pain, "did you?"

"Yes", she simply said, "we had a nice little talk."

"Sounds wonderful", he could hear his sarcasm himself and bit his tongue before he continued, "I assume everything is back to normal again."

"What do you define as normal", she asked and he heard her stepping closer. He turned around to face her against better judgment and couldn't help but stare at her. She had been waiting for him behind the door to his cabin. He didn't need to ask how she had come inside since he had locked the door to keep Tinkerbelle out at least of this place when he had already lost the rest of his ship to her as it seemed. Emma had been a thief and she had been together with Neal, she knew exactly how to break into a room.

Emma's eyes dropped to his shopping bag and the bottle in his hand, "want to drink that all alone?"

"Why?"

She shrugged, "want to share it with me?"

He looked down at his bottle and smiled sadly, "sorry, love. Need that for myself tonight."

"Because of your wounds?"

He looked up to her a little surprised. She had no idea. He was about to fall apart every minute now. He was just waiting for her to kill him with her decision while she kept beating around the bush.

He frowned, guessing she was talking about the scratches he had gotten of the tiger, "David. He has told you, I assume."

"He did", she said slowly never leaving his eyes out of sight, watching his every movement. Maybe she was just waiting for the right moment to tell him? Too bad there wasn't one.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Wasn't that obvious? Was she feeling sorry for him now? Did she hold back the truth because of that?

He walked around his desk and drank another sip of his rum before he asked, "what do you want, love?"

She raised an eyebrow, before she snagged the bottle out of his grip and drank herself, then she sighed and placed it back on his desk between them, "your's was better."

"I know", he crossed his arms in front of his chest, "don't get me wrong, love, but are you just here because you want to drink my rum?"

Emma pretended to give it a thought before she grinned, "no. Not if you only have that", she pointed at the bottle before her eyes wondered to the shopping back beside it, "seems like you wanted to drink yourself to death, buddy."

Something was different about her. Maybe it was just the fact that she had finally made a choice she could accept? Possible.

"So you talked with Neal", he stated trying to distract her from his bag and the bottles of rum in there, "and what did you talk about?"

She turned her back on him leaning at his desk like it was her own one in her office and crossed her arms looking down at her feet for a moment, "nothing special."

He became angry. Nothing special? So it wasn't important that she'd refuse him? She didn't care at all? What had he been? Something to play around with?

"Really", he could hear the anger in his voice, his pulse increased. He walked around the desk and stared at her, "could you just say it?"

She seemed confused, "what?"

"Just do it. Get it over with."

She frowned, "what?"

"Just tell me, you've chosen him again. Just tell me to leave and never come back. Just do it. Stop beating around the bush already."

Emma stood up again. She was angry as well and it seemed like she had waited the whole day to tell him what she was yelling at him now, "I'll stop doing that as soon as you finally stop putting decisions into my mouth I haven't made."

"What does that mean?"

"Why do we need to argue again?"

"Because you're not honest."

"I'm not", she asked sarcastically, "there was a time you thought better of me."

Hook stared at her shocked. He didn't say anything for a long moment. A moment she used to tell him what had been troubling her the whole day now. The things that had annoyed her the whole time, "there was a time you believed in me. There was a time you believed in yourself. What happened to the man who told me he would win me over without any tricks but because I'd want him? What happened to the man who threw me off this ship? Just why can't you believe in yourself anymore?"

He frowned, "why is that important?"

"Because if you can't believe in yourself you don't believe in us."

"What", he whispered unable to understand what she was actually talking of.

"Why did I need to learn from David that you were hurt by the Blue Fairy when you saved Pinocchio from her? Why did I need to learn from Tinkerbelle that you were watching me all the time?"

"I wasn't watching you."

"No? You didn't use her to spy on me?"

"No", he yelled back at her, "I didn't. And I can't believe she actually told you something like that."

Emma calmed down again, "well, she didn't. It just came up in my mind, when she told me, that she had told you about my conversation with Neal."

Hook stared at her like he couldn't believe that. She had caught him completely off guard again. He opened his mouth to say something, changed his mind and closed it, before he opened it again.

Emma bit her bottom lip and looked to the side to calm down, before she glared at him again, "I can't believe you showed up to blame me for making my mind up and taking a time off for that, instead of telling me that you almost died. And I can't believe you pressurized me before you just left me alone."

Hook stared at her like she was speaking another language. He seemed to need a drink. She couldn't blame him for that. When Tinkerbelle had told her about everything she had told him the day before about her conversation with Neal, she would have needed one either. She had actually searched for it in this cabin, but she hadn't found anything.

Hook frowned and looked at her like he wanted to study her so he might be able to understand her again.

She didn't care, "I can't believe you don't understand me anymore."

He froze. Pain was shining through is eyes but his voice was calm, "so is now the moment you tell me to disappear?"

Emma sighed and looked at her feet again shaking her head, "like I would ever do that", she whispered disappointed.

"What about Neal", he asked slowly.

"Don't know", she admitted, "I guess he'll just stay in town to be with Henry."

She could feel his gaze on her skin. It was warming her till down her feet. She didn't need to meet it, to know that he was looking at her like he could see right through her, like he could read her like an open book. She had missed that gaze. It hadn't been there ever since last week. He had been so different when he had shown up at the cabin the night before that it was amazing to have him back again now. Or at least it appeared so.

"What did you tell him", he asked forcefully and stared at her that she could feel a nervous tickling in her stomach.

Emma looked up to him and met that gaze. She smiled slightly, "what do you think?"

Instead of answering her, he just pulled her into such a tight hug that she could hardly breathe. But she didn't care. It was meaningless. She didn't need to as long as she could smell his scent of man and leather and feel his muscles through his shirt while he hugged her. Already after two seconds he stepped back to look at her before he started to kiss her whole face, tickling her with it so she started to laugh.

This was where she wanted to be. This was where she felt at home, where she felt she belonged to. This was where she wanted to stay. If it was forever? Who knew? But right now she couldn't imagine a better place.

His mouth met hers setting her on fire, creating magic again, like she had only experienced it with him in her whole life. Her hands wandered up his chest and shoved the vest off he wore above his shirt. This was everything she wanted.

---

Three weeks later.

"Let's talk about this whipped cream again, love."