The Prongs He Once Knew
Sirius sat at the large kitchen table in Grimmauld Place, staring numbly at the photo of the original Order of the Phoenix. He stared at Remus for a moment, taking in how young he looked back then, and then his eyes fell upon that of his best friend with his arms wrapped safely around his wife. James and Lily beamed up at him, waving and laughing so heartily that Sirius couldn't help but wave back. He missed them so much. He missed them so much that it still hurt to even think about them. He sometimes still cried himself to sleep thinking about it; seeing their dead bodies that day so many years ago. The day his life seemed to end and all signs of hope and reason left him.
He still had Remus, however, and Harry of course. They were his family now, no matter how much they protested - they were stuck with him for good and there was nothing they could do about it!
His eyes shifted slightly and he saw Peter standing next to them. Peter, that scumbag! If Sirius ever got hold of him again, nothing could stop him from killing him this time, not even Harry! That son of a bitch betrayed his best friends, tried to kill his Godson (more than once!) and then had the cheek to ask forgiveness! Sirius' blood boiled within him as he remembered how Peter always used to follow them around in Hogwarts. Acting their friend but secretly plotting against them. Oh, how Sirius longed to wrap his fingers around that pudgey little neck and hear him choke. Using his last gasps of breath to beg Sirius for forgiveness. But Sirius would not give him any. No – those days were long gone.
"Sirius?"
Sirius looked up with a start and saw Harry standing in the doorway of the kitchen with a concerned look on his face. The Weasley's and Hermione had left, about an hour ago, to meet up with Hermione's parents in Diagon Alley. But Harry had asked to stay behind with Sirius. Sirius, however, did not see why he would have wanted to stay. He could not be much fun to hang around with anymore, as his sense of fun seemed to have died along with James.
"Yeah, Harry?" he replied glumly.
"You ok?" Harry moved forward, shutting the door behind him. He was due to start his fifth year at Hogwarts after the holidays finished. Sirius wished that the holidays would never end and Harry could stay with him forever; he hated living here; it was lonely and boring. But Harry always managed to cheer him up. He reminded Sirius so much of James. It was like having his best friend back.
"Yeah, I've felt better." Said Sirius.
"What's up?"
"Nothing, I'm just looking at this old photo that Moody left."
Harry sat down beside him at the table and leaned over to look at the photo. Sirius saw his face fall slightly and felt a great surge of pity towards his Godson. It must have been rough to grow up not knowing about his parents. Sirius, on the other hand, would have given anything not to have known who his parents were!
"What were they like?" asked Harry after a moments silence.
"Who?"
"My…my mum and dad." Harry stared at the table, obviously trying to avoid looking Sirius in the eye.
Sirius froze. He didn't particularly want to talk about this, not now. But then again, he felt as if he owed it to Harry as one of his Godfather duties. After all, Sirius was probably the best person to ask about James and Lily because he had known them better than anyone else. "Well," he said slowly, "what do you want to know?"
"Everything!" exclaimed Harry, sitting up and turning around to face Sirius properly. "What made you become best friends with dad? What were mum and dads reactions when they first met? What did they have in common with each other? Did dad ever do Snape in? Did he -?"
"Woah, woah, woah!! Calm it! One question at a time!" said Sirius, half-laughing at Harry's enthusiastic behaviour.
"Ok…" for a moment, Harry looked deep in thought then he asked "What were their personalities like?"
"Well…James was very, how could you put it, he was very…"
"Very…"
"Shut up!" laughed Sirius "I'm getting there! He was very…in control of himself. Well, most of the time. Not when your mum was around, then he just totally made a fool of himself! But not on purpose of course! Let's see, he was popular and quite smart actually! Not as smart as Remus of course, but no-one ever was. He was very talented, especially at Quiddich and Transfiguration, and was greatly adored by most of Hogwarts!"
"Weren't you both?"
Sirius laughed again. "Yes I suppose we were. We were a lot like each other you know. People used to say we were like brothers because we hardly spent any of our time apart!"
"What about my mum? Was she popular too?"
"Well…as far as Gryffindor girls go, she wasn't exactly popular. Everyone mostly knew her as 'that-girl-Potter-has-a-crush-on'! But I think she preferred the quiet life. She was quite the study freak, always got top grades she did! Then she made Head girl and your dad was made Head boy."
"Is that why they went out?"
"Possibly. I think it definitely helped their relationship somewhat. They were spending a lot more time together and seeing a lot more of each other. I guess they made friends then decided to get together."
"Were they not friends before that?"
"No, not really. Lily always saw your dad as one for being a bit full of himself."
"Really?!"
"Yeah, your dad was always trying to impress her and always took it too far! But I guess spending more time with him made her see the real side of James and that's why they ended up together."
"And you were okay with the fact that he was spending more time with her?"
"Yeah, I was pretty cool about it. After all I had spent about six years glued to James' side! It was about time somebody else had a shot! And besides, he'd liked Lily for ages and was finally achieving his goal. I didn't want to stand in the way of that."
"I guess…"
"But just think. If I had demanded more time with James then you might not have been sitting here today!"
"I guess that's a way of thinking about it…a gross way!"
Sirius laughed loudly, "Sorry! I didn't mean to freak you out!"
"It's ok. So anyway, tell me more."
"Uh…hmmm…well, what else do you wanna know?"
"Why did Snape hate my dad?"
"Ah! Now there's a question!" Sirius thought carefully for a moment before finally deciding to answer, "Well, did you ever meet someone, someone you hated from first glance just because you knew deep down that you weren't gonna like that person?"
"Malfoy." Harry said shortly.
"Ok, Malfoy. Now why do you hate him?"
"He makes fun of us and he's a twat!"
"Well, all of the Malfoy's are twats, but that's beside the point." Smirked Sirius "But who is 'us'?"
"Me, Ron and Hermione."
"I see. And does Malfoy call Hermione a Mudblood?"
"Yes, but how does…?"
"Well, Snape used to tease us too. More so Peter and Remus than your dad and I, but that's what really angered you dad - the fact that Snape was picking on his friends. Snape also used to call your mum a Mudblood, and as you could imagine, that didn't suit too well with your dad either!" Sirius paused, "Your dad was good at everything he did whether it was Quiddich, schoolwork or whatever and Snape envied him because of it! James was everything Snape wanted to be and Snape was everything your dad didn't want to be!"
"Why? What was Snape like at school?"
"He was this creepy little oddball who was up to his ears in the Dark Arts, and I don't know if I've mentioned this to you before, Harry, but your dad absolutely despised the Dark Arts!"
"So Snape hated dad because he was jealous of him?"
"Pretty much." Replied Sirius casually. "Infact, I remember the first time they ever met. It was on the second day of Hogwarts and we had our first ever Defence Against the Dark Arts class with the Slytherins…"
Flashback
"Is that our classroom there?" asked James, pointing to a line of people outside a small wooden door.
"Must be." Replied Sirius "C'mon."
They walked up to the line and noticed Remus and Peter situated near the front. "Wanna go stand with them?" asked James.
"Sure, why not?"
As they walked past the line, however, a boy walking the other way slammed hard into James' shoulder which made him stumble backwards slightly. "Hey watch it!" shouted James. The boy spun around and they stared at each other for a moment. The boy had a thin, pale face which was framed by locks of greasy black hair. He was wearing Slytherin robes.
"Make me!" he muttered. He turned around again and started to walk away.
"Oh I'll make you alright!" snarled James starting forwards and rolling up his sleeve.
"No!" hissed Sirius, grabbing hold of James' elbow and holding him back. "Leave him, he's not worth it!"
"I wouldn' have expect a Black to be scared of a fight," said the boy silkily "but a Black who's assigned to Gryffindor has a reason to be scared, I guess!"
"Ok," said Sirius as he released James' elbow "Now he's worth it!!"
James dropped his schoolbag, handed his glasses to Sirius and advanced on the boy. But before he could take another step, the boy whipped out his wand and hissed something under his breath. James was sent flying backwards and slammed into the opposite wall with a horrid crunching sound. In a flash, Sirius pulled out his own wand and pointed it directly at the boy, but then he stopped; he didn't actually know the name of any spells. Well, he did know one, but it was one that his father used to punish him with. And Sirius guessed that the Cruciatus Cursewas a bit extreme to use on a boy which he hardly knew, no matter how unpleasant he seemed.
He grudgingly pocketed his wand again and trudged off towards James who was now standing on his feet but holding onto Remus for support.
"Guess I was right." Sneered the Slytherin boy, "He is afraid." This outburst made all of the nearby Slytherins burst into laughter, but Sirius tried his best to ignore them.
"How are you feeling?" he asked James, holding out his glasses.
"I'll live, thanks." He replied, shoving his glasses back on his face. "You?"
Sirius shrugged his shoulders in reply. He felt like such an idiot – maybe he should have been assigned to Slytherin, Gryffindor's weren't meant to be scared of a fight!
"Don't listen to them, Sirius." Remus said soothingly. He seemed to be able to read Sirius' thoughts. Either that or Sirius must have looked quite upset. He guessed it was the latter of the two.
"Yeah!" said James "I think you're brave!"
"Yeah right!" snorted Sirius and he shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his robes. "I backed out of a fight -"
"And that's what makes you so brave." Said Remus.
"Yeah!" agreed James "I didn't back down and look what happened to me!!"
Sirius gave him a reluctant smile.
"Listen," said James, "As soon as we learn some proper spells we'll all gang up and beat the shit out of him. Whaddya say?"
Sirius laughed and Remus rolled his eyes. "If we must." He said.
End Flashback
"So my dad hates Snape because he made fun of you?" asked Harry after Sirius had finished telling him of the memory.
"I guess so." Replied Sirius.
"What happened to him?" Asked Harry avidly "I mean, did you ever beat the sh-crap out of Snape?"
"Nice cover up," said Sirius, laughing "But you nearly said it!"
"Nearly, but didn't!" said Harry. "So anyway…"
"…"
"My dad…and Snape…what happened?"
"Oh, that! Yeah well, it was about a month later and your dad and I were…well let's just say we were investigating the castle when we came across Snape again…"
Flashback
"Hey Sirius, look who it is…It's out good friend - nose boy!!"
Sirius laughed loudly as the passing Snape obviously tried his best to ignore them. But they didn't stop there…
"What's the matter?" Jeered Sirius, "Lost your tongue?"
"Did it get stuck up your nose?" called James.
"Ewww!" moaned Sirius "I REALLY didn't need that image in my head thanks!!"
"Anytime!" James replied, winking slightly. "Hey! Where'd he go?"
Sirius and James looked around wildly but saw no Snape! "Dammit!"
"There he goes!" shouted James pointing out a nearby window. Sirius peered through the dirtied glass and saw a black figure hurry across the Hogwarts grounds.
"Who's scared now?" he muttered, his warm breath fogging the window. "Let's go…"
"Hey, Snape!" Yelled James as the duo rushed across the grounds in order to catch up with him, "Snape! Where are you -?"
"Shut-up, Potter!" snapped Snape. He'd pulled his wand out from under his robes and pointed it directly between James' eyes. "Unless you want beaten up again! Cause I'll do that anytime!"
"You're so kind, but I don't think so!!" retorted James coolly, brandishing his own wand. Sirius did likewise which made Snape falter slightly.
"Scared?" Sirius snarled quietly. "But being a Slytherin – I wouldn't expect anything less!"
With a flash, James was spun backwards, his wand flying out of his hand as his face smacked off of the hard paving.
"NO!" Yelled Sirius. "Leave him alone!" Sirius turned his attention back to Snape just in time to see him raise his wand again. "This is between you and me!" Sirius rattled his brain for a curse. A clever curse. One which Snape wouldn't expect. But which to choose?
WHEEEE!!
CRASH!
Dammit! Too late! Sirius had pondered for too long and had therefore given Snape the opportunity to send him flying backwards using the same spell. Sirius slammed into James who had just risen to his feet. Both boys were sent crashing to the ground and Sirius felt a sharp pain explode in his lower back.
"Is that the only spell you know?" James yelled as he separated himself from Sirius.
Sirius, however, did not hear what Snape had replied, for the pain in his back had rapidly crept up his spine and were now tearing at his limbs! He was used to pain, but not pain this prolonged. He lay there, on the ground, not speaking or moving. He wasn't aware of his surroundings or why he was lying on cold stone. All he could see were the blurred outlines of James and Snape.
"Sirius…?" James' voice sounded so distant and faint. Sirius saw him fall to his knees beside him and felt him shake his shoulder slightly. "SIRIUS!" James' voice was still distant yet stronger somehow. But Sirius couldn't reply, not matter how hard he tried – the words would form in his throat but not leave. James shook him harder and more pain erupted in his side. Sirius groaned in agony and the shaking stopped, but the pain did not cease any. "Sirius stay with me." Said James in the same distant voice. "Stay awake, don't fall asleep, STAY AWAKE."
Suddenly, Sirius felt exhaustion take him over and so decided to close his eyes, they were so tired and his eyelids felt so heavy... "NO! Sirius, stay awake!" The shaking started again and Sirius opened his eyes; everything was even more blurred now. Black smoke had now began to creep its way into Sirius' vision, obscuring everything. He could hear sounds and feel movement, but they meant nothing - he felt like he was floating away…
End Flashback
"I don't really remember much more than that." Sirius finished reminiscently.
"He knocked you out?" asked Harry, his mouth open slightly.
"Yep."
"How log were you out?"
"Uh…about four days I think!" replied Sirius.
"Wow!" gasped Harry "I bet dad got really pissed off?"
"Yeah, he kinda – 'pissed off'?"
"Oops! I mean, uh…angry!"
"Sure you do!" laughed Sirius. "Anyway, yeah, that kinda did tick your dad off somewhat! And he raved about getting his revenge on the greasy little git!"
"And did he?"
"What do you think?!" asked Sirius sarcastically. "Yes of course he did. They ended up hexing each other every time they met or even walked by in the corridors. Your father always seemed to win nearly every time and this made people want to follow us around. James loved the attention but Remus wasn't to hot on it. He, like your mother, preferred the quiet life. They spent a lot of their time studying in the library. Waste of time if you ask me; your father and I spent most of our free time coming up with new methods of how to torture Snape and we passed all of our exams!" Harry stared at Sirius with admiration evident in his eyes, "But…" added Sirius quickly "…this doesn't mean that you are to skive off studying! Do as I say not –"
"– not as you do." Finished Harry dully. "I know, Sirius."
"So, what do you wanna know now?" asked Sirius feeling as though Harry was no where near finished with asking him questions!
"What happened after you guys left school?" asked Harry. "I mean, did they have jobs? What age were you when you joined the Order?"
"Well…" Sirius paused for a moment as he tried to remember James and Lily's professions. "Yes, we all had jobs. Your father, well…your father had inherited a lot of money from your grandparents and so didn't really need a well paid job. So he worked in Zonkos, it paid well enough and kept he and your mother going after they got married."
"Why, where did she work?" asked Harry.
"Your mother worked in the apothecary shop in Diagon Alley. Well, she worked there until she had you that is. She stayed home full time to take care of you so that meant that James actually had to start working instead of just fooling around with the products like he usually did!"
Harry laughed at this last comment. "You two sound a bit like Fred and George!" he said.
Sirius smiled, "Troublemakers at school are they?"
"The biggest!" replied Harry. "So anyway, you were saying?"
"Oh, yes – what was your second question again?"
"Erm…what age were you when you all joined the Order?"
"Oh yeah…well I think we were about 21…22 maybe?! I really can't remember, Harry. Why do you want to know anyway?"
Harry looked down at the table again and began to fidget with his hands. "I was just wondering what age I'd have to wait to until I could join…" He looked up again and stared straight into Sirius' eyes.
"Harry, joining the Order –"
"I know it's rough and I know that loads of people have died because of it, but Sirius if I'm to die, I'd rather die fighting. Surely you of all people can understand that?"
Sirius stared at his Godson for a moment. The last thing he wanted was to see Harry hurt, but he saw in Harry the same determination that he saw in himself. Sirius hated being cooped and he knew that Harry was starting to feel the same way with everyone keeping him in the dark. He wouldn't be able to hold onto him forever, he knew that – but at the same time, he didn't want to let him go! "You know, Harry, you're reminding me so much of James right now. He wanted the same – to die fighting. Infact it was one of the main reasons he joined the Order. He loved taking risks, you see, and he practically jumped at the opportunity to join when Dumbledore asked us." Sirius paused, Harry was still staring at him but didn't look too content. "Harry, I have full faith in you to do well and someday – who knows – you'll probably end up joining the order too. But for now, I'm afraid you're still too young to be taking such risks."
Harry cleared his throat and blinked a few times. When he eventually spoke, his voice was very shaky yet controlled to the same volume as before. "I wish people would stop telling me that I'm not allowed to do –"
"It's for your own good Harry!" interrupted Sirius! "We don't want to put you in any sort of danger and we especially don't want you or any of your friends to get hurt. Because you know that if you get to join then so will Ron and Hermione, I don't think Fred and George would be too happy about being left out either…"
"We're not some stupid kids, Sirius!" Harry's voice had risen and he looked very angry. "We know how to take care of ourselves!"
"I know you do, Harry. But whether or not you can take care of yourself is a different ball-game altogether from when you have to face the real bad guys in an actual fight!" Sirius had regretted saying this as soon as the words had left his mouth.
Harry had jumped up out of his seat and shouted "I have faced the bad guys, Sirius! I have been in actual fights! I know what it's like and I have probably been through a hell of a lot more than half the Order! If people would just open their eyes and see that I –"
"Harry, HARRY!" shouted Sirius, he also stood up and grabbed Harry by the shoulders. "I know! I know, trust me. No matter how much you've been through – you are still far too inexperienced and far too young!" It was killing Sirius to do this. Harry looked so much like James, and he hated shouting at him. And to tell him he couldn't fight against the man who murdered his parents must feel awful. It must also feel awful to know that you are totally useless - just like how Sirius was feeling! Harry had opened his mouth to protest but Sirius cut across him again, "I know how you must be feeling – being kept in the dark, being bottled up, told you can't do anything to help – but Harry you have to understand that you are only 15, you're the only family I truly have and I'm not about to loose that by putting you in any sort of danger."
"Who says I'm going to be in danger? Sirius, you say you know how I feel, well then you must understand; I want to die fighting too, like my dad …" Harry had stopped yelling, his voice was low and soft.
Sirius stared at his Godson for a moment. Harry seemed angry and was shouting at people a lot lately, and he had reason. Sirius only wanted the best for Harry, and if it meant that he had to let him go then so be it. It would kill him to do it – but he loved Harry more. "Ok." He said.
"What?!" asked Harry.
"Ok, if you want to join the Order and die fighting like your dad then so be it. I can't stop you – if you're anything like James, which you are, then you'll probably be stubborn and put up a fight for what you want!" Sirius smiled, "Just don't tell Molly I said that!"
"Sirius, I…" Harry was lost for words. He started forwards and gave Sirius a hug which he returned. Sirius didn't want to ever let him go; he wanted to hold onto Harry forever and protect him against all harm. "Do I have to wait until I've finished school to join?" asked Harry, breaking the silence.
"Yes. But until then, you can be an honorary member." Sirius grinned down at Harry.
"Thanks Sirius. I'm sorry about…"
"Hello? Oh there you are Harry dear!" Mrs Weasley's head had popped around the kitchen door and beamed at Harry. "We're back." She said
"Oh, really?" Sirius muttered quietly so that only Harry could hear him.
"I'll just pop my bags upstairs and then I'll be down to make the dinner." She smiled at them once more and then left the room.
"HARRY!" Yelled Ron as he bounded into the room shortly followed by Hermione and Ginny. "Harry c'mon we bought you something!"
"You did?" Harry walked over to Ron who grabbed his arm and ran out of the room with the girls.
"Yeah and you'll love it! We walked past it in the street and I saw it in the window. Hermione said that she was…" Their excited voices faded away as they climbed further up the stairs. Sirius was left alone in the kitchen once more, staring at the door through which Harry had left. He missed him already.
Sirius slowly entered the abandoned house. It was dark and cold but hardly anything was destroyed. Nothing was moved from their positions last night when Sirius had last been in the house. There was something unnatural about the quietness - it was almost deafening.
Moving forwards, he noticed a body on the floor. It was a thin body which had a mop of unruly black hair on the head.
"No" moaned Sirius and he fell to the floor beside his former best friend. "NO! Prongs…not you…not you!" He carefully turned the body over and hastily looked away when he saw the blankness of James' eyes, staring aimlessly into space. He shut the eyes as gently as he could and settled the body back down on the floor. He noticed his glasses lying smashed on the floor beside him. Sirius picked them up, repaired them and placed them carefully on James' face. "Take care mate." He whispered. "We'll see each other again one day."
Sobbing, he clambered to his feet and looked around for Lily. He tried looking in all the downstairs rooms and even started calling her name. "LILY!" After a while, he had started to loose hope. "LILY! LIL –" A noise from upstairs distracted his attention and he bolted up the stairs as fast as he could. He checked James and Lily' room first but saw no-one. Next, he entered Harry's room. There was no movement, but there was another body.
"Oh, Lils!" he sobbed "Not you too!" He crouched down beside her and brushed some of her hair away from her face. "Oh God!" Her eyes were as cold and lifeless as James'. She was lying in a weird position; almost as if she had fallen and was then roughly kicked aside. "Lils…" At least she was with James now…forever.
Another noise, similar to the one he had heard downstairs, sounded again and Sirius jumped to his feet. It was coming from Harry's crib; it sounded like muffled crying. Edging forward Sirius peered into the crib and saw his Godson, crying softly. He had a large scar on his forehead which was still bleeding slightly.
"HARRY!" Relief and overwhelming joy spread throughout Sirius like wildfire. "Oh, Harry!" He picked his Godson from the crib and cuddled him close, wiping away the blood from the scar. "It's ok Harry, I've got you. I've got you and I'm never letting you go." Harry had stopped crying now, the sound of his Godfather's voice had obviously calmed him down. "You're with uncle Padfoot now – nothing can harm you."
Suddenly, Harry was fading into the dark blue sky with Hagrid and Sirius' beloved motorbike. Sirius spun around and saw the two corpses of his former best friends lying on the floor. He could hear Lily's screams and Harry's wails. They were growing louder.
"No" moaned Sirius. "Stop it!" The screaming grew louder and louder, she was in pain and he couldn't help her. "Please, no!" Harry was crying and squealing with fear and with pain. "NO!" Green lights were flashing everywhere and the corpses vanished. "JAMES!" Blackness obscured his vision and he felt like he was falling into total nothingness…
THUD!
Sirius opened his eyes. He was lying face down on his bedroom floor in the pitch blackness of the night. It was just a dream. No it wasn't just a dream – it was real. It had happened before and he was sick of re-living it.
Heaving himself back onto the bed, Sirius lay staring into the darkness. He lay there for hours, thinking. Thinking of them – he missed them so much and it hurt so badly. He rolled over onto his side and once again silently cried himself to sleep…
A/N: Ok this story is kinda weird. It got a bit carried away with it at parts and just wrote where my head told me to go. I (obviously) followed no real plot line with the actual book and will write no more of this story; it shall remain as only one chapter. I hope you enjoyed it because it took me ages to write! R&R please!