He tried to pretend it didn't bother him, that it didn't affect him, but it was so obvious. Painfully obvious when he rolled onto his side and reached for the warm body that just wasn't there. His fingers clenched the cold sheets as he buried his face in the pillow, not only missing the warm body he'd cling to at night, but the one that would cling to him. His heart clenched in pain as he choked back the sob that threatened to rise. He missed them. He wanted Seth and Jacob back. - Sadness Speaks

Prologue

Time seemed nonexistent to him, even though he religiously kept count of the days, months and the years since they left him. One. Two. Three. Three years had passed since the day he screwed up and they moved on without him. Three years and they had never looked back, but he couldn't stop staring into the past.

They had left him bitter and broken. They had all but disappeared and, for that, Edward should've been grateful, but their absence did nothing to ease his heartache—nothing to erase his pain. They were like phantoms, cruelly haunting every aspect of his life until he became nothing more than an empty shell of the man he once was.

His family was worried and his friends were scared for him.

Part I:
The Wedding

The wedding was not, by a long shot, his idea—in fact, Edward detested weddings. He wanted nothing to do with a day dedicated to a happiness he couldn't have anymore, but his sister did this thing when she wanted him to do something, it was impossible to resist and it was why he was at this stupid wedding.

He was sitting in the last row—his sister had wandered off some time ago to char with some old friend, and Edward really didn't care anymore—with his arms crossed over his front and a severe frown on his face that kept the wedding guests from engaging him in small talk (he had come to hate small talk). Edward wasn't pleased about being at the wedding, but all things considered, he was doing well by keeping to himself and posing as his sister's escort (though he was doing a shitting job at escorting her anywhere), but that was before he started paying attention to the guests.

That was before he caught sight of one of his exes and Edward's heart stopped in his chest.

Part II:
The Exes

Seth Clearwater had always been beautiful—both inside and out. He was the purest person Edward had ever met and still looked to be so, but Seth had always seemed so untouchable to Edward. Seth had always seemed so above him, always too good for him…

…which seemed to prove true in the end.

Seth was near the first few rows, talking and laughing with his friends and family—he was outgoing, friendly and hardly knew the meaning of the word 'enemy'—while another young man lingered behind him, smiling and talking as well. Edward didn't recognize the other man, but knew who he was almost immediately. Edward could tell by the way he leaned close to Seth, looking at him with such love and adoration that it made Edward's stomach turn before he looked away.

His eyes darted around the venue for a moment before he realized what he was looking for—who he was looking for—wasn't currently present. Jacob Black was nowhere to be seen, but Edward was sure that he was around. Somewhere. Jacob and Seth had been an item long before he came along, and Edward had always assumed they had remained together long after he had left.

So, he wondered, was this new man—this dark haired, angel-faced man—filling the space that Edward had once been responsible for?

It was crushing, realizing the possibility that Seth and Jacob had actually moved on with their lives and sought out (and, apparently, found) greener pastures—to see that they were happy and in love with someone who wasn't him. His chest tightened with pain and he found it difficult to breathe as he realized that they didn't need him anymore.

Suddenly, Edward couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't watch Seth with someone else, Jacob still missing among the guests. Edward stood up and stepped on toes to make it out of the row. He ran, because it was the only thing he could do, and he didn't look back as tears clouded his vision.

It had been so long since he cried…

He didn't stop running until the men's room was in sight. He rushed for the door, ignoring the people around him—blinded to them—until he collided with a man coming out of the bathroom.

"Whoa, hey! Where's the fire…?"

Part III:
The Meeting

Edward hastily looked up with an apology on the tip of his tongue, but what was supposed to be a quick glance suddenly turned into something more as he realized who he had crashed into—Jacob Black. He was still as beautiful as Edward remembered him to be, and still as bold and warm.

Jacob grinned as he steadied Edward, speaking even though Edward couldn't hear a thing over the pounding in his head. He wasn't sure how long they stood there, blocking the door to the men's room as Jacob talked, smiled—his smile had always been breathtaking—and went on as though he hadn't walked out on Edward and everything they had built.

It was disturbing, the way Jacob treated him.

"You left," Edward suddenly said, interrupting whatever it was that Jacob had been saying. Edward surprised himself, he looked away for a moment, shaking his head slowly before he met Jacob's stunned gaze. "You didn't say anything, neither of you did. I just woke up one morning and you were gone. You just left without so much as a good-bye."

Jacob shifted, his stance uncomfortable and obviously tense as his face fell, darkened. "It's been three years, Edward," he pointed out slowly, his voice soft before he paused, worrying his lower lip. "I would've thought you had moved—"

"I loved you!" Edward hissed, the hurt apparent in his shaking voice as his heart clenched in his chest. "Both of you! I loved you so much and you just left me."

Edward's exclamation did nothing to ease Jacob, in fact, it made him all the more tense—all the more aggravated and upset as he looked away to hide his stormy expression. "Yeah, well, you had a funny way of showing it," he muttered crossly, still not looking at Edward.

"What in the hell is that supposed to mean?" Edward demanded through clenched teeth, his hands clutched into fists at his sides. "I told you both that I loved you every single day!"

Jacob laughed at that, the sound was bitter and nothing at all like the bright, sunny laugh that Edward remembered so well, as he shook his head slowly before looking at Edward again. His gaze mocking and harsh. "Yeah, but you didn't mean it. I don't know that you ever did and we deserved better than that—better than you and what you had to offer."

"I gave you everything!"

"You gave us nothing! Nothing that mattered to us, Edward. All we had ever wanted was you and that was the one thing you never gave us."

For a moment, an endlessly long moment, Edward was speechless. He knew he wasn't deserving of any awards for the world's best boyfriend, but to her his thoughts and fear confirmed was, well…

…unsettling and jarring. He felt his heart breaking all over again. New, fresh and just as harsh as it was the first time.

"Why didn't you say something?" He finally asked, his voice trembling with his confusion and heartbreak. "If you both were so unhappy, why didn't either of you say anything?"

There was a desperate edge to Edward's voice and in his stance. It wasn't something he wanted to show, but it wasn't something that could be hid anymore. He just wanted to understand what had really happened between them. He needed to know if he really pushed them away as he feared he had. "You and Seth—especially Seth—were all about keeping the lines of communication open…" Edward added lamely, sagging against the wall next to the entrance to the men's restroom.

Jacob's smile was sad and wistful as he watched Edward. "The thought had crossed my mind, Edward. Seth's too, I'm sure," he replied softly. "But would you have listened?"

Edward was poised to answer, but the words died on his tongue as he was met with the sharp realization that he just didn't have an answer. His eyes widened and he stumbled over his words, but at that precise moment, a blond headed woman stepped out of the bathroom and laid her hand on Jacob's arms.

"Who's your friend, babe?" she asked, looking from Jacob to Edward with a questioning looking in her big blue eyes.

Edward watched, astounded, as Jacob's feature instantly softened and brightened as he took in the woman standing next to him and, once again, Edward found himself fighting down a spike of jealously.

"Rose, this is Edward," Jacob said, taking the young woman's hand into his own. "Edward, this is my girlfriend, Rosalie."

Part IV:
Emmett
(or a chance at happiness)

Edward had managed to break away from Jacob and Rosalie, and by some stretch of fate he had managed to avoid Seth and his new beau (because that's who Alec was, Jacob had confirmed for Edward) all together and now—now he was hiding out until the end of the reception when he'd be able to make a break for the car without being stopped and forced into conversation.

He had sequestered himself on a balcony—an unused balcony and, so far, he had been left alone as the party carried on without him. It was a lonely, dark night and it suited Edward just fine, even though he was left alone with his thoughts and, sometimes, those were the worst company he could possibly have.

Tonight, predictably, his thoughts were centered solely on his ex-lovers. He found himself caught in that dark depression he was in once before, back when the heart break was still fresh and new. Edward was hurt all over again and felt as though he would never be happy again—that he didn't deserve to be happy for how he had treated Jacob and Seth.

He sat underneath a window—out of sight—as he watched the venue staff clear away all traces of the earlier wedding, the sounds of the reception just reaching him in his hiding spot. He could hear traces of music, laughter and chatter. It was almost as depressing as his thoughts. Edward heaved a soft sigh and took another drink of the champagne he had lifted before disappearing, drinking the last of it when he heard some rustling, a series of grunts and then the shatter of breaking glass that drowned out a muffled curse.

Edward blinked, shifting to set the empty champagne flute aside before he pushed himself to his feet and made like he was walking to the railing. He stopped short, hesitating for a moment, but only because he didn't know what he'd find over the balcony's railing. And then he was there, peering over its edge to see a person—a man that Edward hadn't seen before at the wedding nor reception.

"Hey, man, you think I could get a hand?"

The man—Edward still didn't have a name, and didn't think to ask for one as he reached out to grasp the offered hand to help him up and over the balcony's railing—had deep grey eyes that were glossy and just the tiniest bit mischievous. Before Edward even realized it, he was caught in the man's gaze—such an intense gaze. It made Edward's insides flutter and clench as he watched the man knock dirt, foliage and bits of broken glass from the front of his beer-stained jeans.

"So, thanks for helping me up," the man said, his hands hanging by his sides as his eyes slid over Edward's body—obviously checking him out in such a blatant way that made Edward's heart stutter and skip a beat.

Edward could feel the heat rise in his cheeks as he struggled to say something, anything to keep this man from walking away and leaving him to the night. "Um, thanks?" He replied, chewing on his lower lip as he watched the other man. "So, um, why were you climbing onto the balcony?"

The man blinked and, for a moment, he looked like a sulking child as he pouted. "Someone thought it'd be funny to lock me out of the party."

"I don't remember seeing you at the wedding," said Edward, frowning as he looked the man over (subtly checking him out—ripped and gorgeous).

Confusion blossomed over the man's features as he slowly shook his head. "I wasn't at a wedding, dude," he replied before looking past Edward to see the party beyond the doors. "Is this what this is?" He asked before bursting out laughing. "Dude! I climbed up the wrong balcony!"

Edward couldn't help but to chuckle as well. This man's laughter was simply infectious and his smile was striking. Unbelievably, Edward felt himself drawn to this man whose name he didn't even know. He wanted to know more—he needed to know more, but before Edward could even think of something to ask him, the man's laughter quieted and he took a step forward.

"Hey," he said softly, sweetly. "Did anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are when you smile?"

Edward's laughter died in his throat and his flush returned full-force; bright and obvious as the other man's lips curled into a smirk. "Um…"

"Well?" The man encouraged as he stepped closer, raising a hand to touch Edward's cheek. "Have they?"

Edward opened his mouth to answer, but before he could this mysterious man leaned forward and his lips pressed against Edward and, despite of not even knowing his name, Edward found himself kissing back.

The kiss only lasted a moment, but it was the best moment Edward experienced in the past three years—maybe his entire existence, before it was broken and with a flirtatiously playful smile, the man grasped Edward's hand and tugged him back into the party with a quickly spoken, "Dance with me."

"But, I don't even know your name," Edward said just as he was pulled inside, the man stopping short before turning, smiling.

"Emmett. My name is Emmett."