Almond Paste
It was a very dull day for Arthur and Molly Weasley. They were trying to figure out something they could do, when Arthur started rummaging through his collection of rubber ducks. I wish I knew what the function of these things were, Arthur often thought to himself.
"I'm hungry," Molly said. "Now, Arthur, have you ever looked for cooking instructions in the muggle world?"
"No, actually, I haven't. Oh, now you've got me wondering what in Hogwarts muggles eat," Arthur replied. "Well, of course, they wouldn't be eating it in Hogwarts, because of cou--"
"Arthur! Stop with the bad jokes! You've been doing that all week, every time you get even the tiniest chance," Molly said angrily.
"Well then," Arthur said, "I guess I'll just say all of my bad jokes while looking for your muggle cooking instructions."
"Bye."
"Bye, Molly," Arthur replied, suddenly happy again.
--
"How to Make Magic, no, and I know what magic tastes like, it's horrible. How to Raise a Rabbit, why in Hogwarts would I want to raise a rabbit? Now, owls are cool." Arthur kept going on and on about every book title until he found one called "Semi-Homemade Cooking" which was written by "Samantha Lee."
"Well, this is more like it," Arthur said. "Actually food."
So Arthur went to the register and paid for it. He then brought it home to Molly and she looked through the recipes.
"Well, muggles sure cook…strangely," she said. "But I guess I'll try them."
"We…have ricotta, right? Because I don't exactly want to put almond paste in…cheesecake…" Arthur said. "It has the word cake in it, it shouldn't have almond paste. Anybody should know that. Maybe muggles don't cook as well as I thought they would…"
"Yes, we have ricotta, but I'm not making cheesecake, I'm making Scallop and Mushroom Chowder," Molly replied. "Sounds like a strange type of chowder."
"Yes, but we might as well give it a try," Arthur said.
--
"THIS IS DISGUSTING!" Molly said as she took her first bite. "I followed the directions exactly…maybe muggles are terrible cooks."
"Well, as it seems, yes," Arthur agreed. "It looks like vomit."
Just then, there was a knock on the door. Arthur went over to open it.
"Harry! Come in, come in!" Arthur said, surprised by the young wizard suddenly appearing right as they were about to march out the door and make sure that no one in the wizarding world even tried a muggle meal.
"Hi," Harry replied.
"So, uh, Harry…what do you think of muggle cooks?" Arthur asked him.
"Some are better than others," he replied. "But there's this one guy, his name's Albert Brown, his food is amazing!"
"Really? Because we just tried a meal from Samantha Lee's cook book, and it was horrible." Molly was surprised that all muggles did not cook this way.
"Samantha Lee? Yuck! But, yeah, you've got to try some of Albert's recipes, they're the best things I've ever eaten," Harry replied.
"Wow!" Arthur was also shocked. "Could you bring his book over?"
"Which one? He has a bunch!" Harry replied. "I'll bring over all of them."
And so, Harry brought over Albert's cook books, and the Weasleys tried some of his recipes, and didn't have a bad impression on muggle cooks any more.
The End