Why did I leave her?
She was my little sister. She saw me, her beloved big sister…mutilated by the shimmering gold wasps…on her TV screen. And she couldn't do anything to stop it.
Nobody could, except the Capitol, and it's only now that I realize the Capitol doesn't care about its tributes, its Victors. It cares only about control, power.
I said goodbye to her in the Justice Building of District 1. I promised her I would come back.
"Pinky promise, Glimmer?" She asked, so beautiful in her innocence.
"Pinky promise," I tell her; completely confident that I'll keep it, and we do the little hand sign that goes along with it, that looks so simple but conveys so much-hope, fear, confidence, naïveté. I told myself that it would be easy to win. Why wouldn't it? I had trained since I was 6, same age as Silver now, and I was the top of District 1, girls and boys. I was the elite. I could not fail.
Then came that girl on fire, igniting my hopes, my dreams, blazing them away.
I was doing great. I had gotten the only bow in the Cornucopia, plus three spears, five throwing knifes, and two swords. Supplies were plentiful; bloodstains marked wherever we came across. We were invincible.
I had killed Crane from 7, Annarose from 8, and Katia from 10, whilst my lightly tanned skin remained without a scratch. Still, I hoped beyond hopes that Silver hadn't seen me; I went berserk, spilling blood with a fury, powered by blinding adrenaline; chopping Annarose's head clean off, and stabbing Crane in the stomach repeatedly. I had hoped, when I came home, that Silver wouldn't have said "Glimmer? Why were you so mean to those people at the Cornucopia?" I would have never known how to answer her without shattering that beautiful innocence that I've always worked to preserve.
But that never got a chance to happen. The girl on fire stripped away our thoughts of immortality to what they really were; just thoughts, imaginings. I remember waking up to shots of agony and a blur of gold and black, blocking me from escape, slowly killing me. In the corner of my darkening, agonized vision, I saw Tara, my best friend in the arena, falling with a stuttered scream in the deadly, glittering gold. It hurt so much, and the visions… I saw Silver getting mauled by a masked figure, and my mother and father, Galaxy and Polish, dying horrifying deaths. I thrashed and screamed and cursed that girl on fire until the poison hit my heart, my death rattled the air, and I sank into the sweet, soothing darkness that has been my home since.
If I could ever see my sister, just for a minute, I would tell her that she will always shine. She will shine forever, just like her namesake; beautiful even without that precious innocence that was stripped away the second my cannon rang and my face hit the sky. But if I could tell her one more thing, I would tell her…
Never volunteer.