Author's Note: I just had the urge so I wrote it, not sure how long it's going to be or anything but that might depend on you guys. It's set before Advent Children, it might just be four chapters, nothing serious. If it's confusing that's because my knowledge of FF is limited, I've seen the movie and the movie cut parts from the game, I'm not a gamer though I wish I was. So sorry about that :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone here, belongs to Square Enix.

The Diary of Tifa Lockhart

Dear Diary,

Well, I have a new one. A new book I mean, I filled up my last journal so I had to invest in a new one, and ironically, Cloud got it for me. The reason I say it's ironic is because well… it oddly reminds me of the one I sent him back when he was training to be a SOLDIER. Back when we were teenagers. Seems so long ago. It was wrapped up and everything so he might have forgotten but still… it kind of makes me sad that he never used it, it'd be nice to have, to read to help patch up those memories that he lost. I know he doesn't like talking about stuff like that, he doesn't like talking at all really, definitely not about himself... he has to know that this isn't… well normal. I'm supportive of course, we weren't the best of friends back at home but I still thought of him as a friend, kind of. He's changed so much since then of course, I guess that's expected when he went to Midgar for training to be in SOLDIER only to be kidnapped by Professor Hojo and experimented on for four years. But I have too.

I wish I knew Zack Fair the way Cloud knew him. I remember him being a flirt but I didn't pay him attention, my job was to show them around Nibelheim not flirt with them, but I wish I knew him enough to understand why Cloud became him. It was hard for me to understand it then, I mean after not hearing from him and trying to assure his mother he wasn't dead and then suddenly seeing him again, he was so different. There was no way that he really changed that much. Turned out, he was Zack in his mind. Well… anyway, something is going on with him. He does his deliveries as usual and he helps out around the bar but something isn't right. He's been gone for three days now and I've been optimistic that he'll come back but I'm not sure if he will this time. He's hardly really here, he'll be here but throughout the day he'll just be gone, I never know where he goes but he always returned really late in the night. Maybe I'm overreacting; maybe he just goes for a ride clear his head and think. I've been writing the same thing for a while now but it's noticeable. For me anyway.

When he is here, he's distant, it started maybe-

Chapter 1

"Tifa! The phone's ringing and Denzel needs me" Tifa looked hearing the young girl she watched call out to her, she didn't hear the phone, waiting a moment, she stuck her pen in her book before heading up the stairs to his small little office to answer the phone.

"Hello?" Silence. She furrowed her brow waiting "Cloud? Is that you?" Nothing. He never made a sound even when he was just breathing. It always amazed her just how quiet the blond could be. "Are you coming home tonight?"

It came out as a whisper; he's done it a few times now. Just leave without saying anything, not bothering to call or write a note; he'd go off for a delivery and then not come back, it has become a pattern and if he does it again this time, it would be the fourth time in the past two months but who knows how long it would be this time. In the past, it's only been a week or so but he's never called before… what if this time… it was going to be for much longer? That's how Denzel came into their life because Cloud just left. Not that she regretted ever meeting the eight year old boy.

She'd been moving around aimlessly waiting for someone to come through that door, hell she'd even take Reno and Rude… well actually no she wouldn't. It'd been a quiet day at 7th Heaven Bar and it was really beginning to get to her, Barret was going to be showing up today with Marlene later and she honestly couldn't wait. The little girl was the sister she never had and she was always more than happy to watch her while her father went off to work in the Mines or whatever it was that he did when not working with AVALANCHE.

Pacing never did her any good; it just made her mind concoct all sorts of things. Cloud didn't come back on Wednesday, he took a delivery out and never came back, it's been two days and he hadn't called or anything. Being alone in the bar was slightly terrifying only because she was so used to be people always being around, it was just too weird.

RING!

Wine colored eyes dashed for the phone on the counter behind the bar, hopefully it was Barret saying he was closer than he thought with Marlene, or maybe it was Yuffie, she could deal with the ninja today, or… it was a long shot but maybe it was… Cloud? Looking at the caller ID she saw his name appear. Stunned she just stared as it rang. How odd, he never called. Maybe he was hurt, did his bike break down? Was he calling to check in? To tell her was coming back tonight? So many things ran through her mind that when she finally snapped out of it and picked up the phone with a quick hello! He hung up.

"Damn" so she dialed again. She picked at the utility belt at the front of her clothing hoping he would respond this time. Three rings. She counted. Then a click "Cloud?" She had to calm her nerves "What a surprise, you never call. Is something wrong? Are you coming home?" The last part she whispered, not really expecting a positive answer.

"Uh…" the sound was small and she frowned.

"Cloud?" Something wasn't right, finally the voice on the other line spoke and it wasn't her friend

"Uh no ma'am" she asked who it was and why they had Cloud's phone. The brunette knew that Cloud never really answered his phone, he never called but he never left it behind, it was always in one of his many pockets. So how did this… child get it? Did something happen to Cloud? "I don't know"

"Who is this?" Her heart began to pound as she gripped the edge of the bar, this person; he had to be a child, a scared child. Where was Cloud?

"I don't know, please, I don't know what to do. I can't do this." Her eyes widened. She didn't know what to do, how to help. If only she knew where Cloud was she could find her way there and find this child who clearly was afraid of something, she thought she heard him sniffle

"Hey… are you crying?" Dumb question. She then heard pained sounds, gasps and moans of pain. Fearing the worse she began to shout into the phone "Hello! Are you okay!? CLOUD! Cloud if you are there pick up the phone!"

Nothing. She stood there with baited breath hoping that this child would pick himself up and continue speaking with her, she could probably find out more if she could just get him talking again. Cloud… where are you?

"Hey? Are you okay?"

Now that voice she knew. It sounded close and she heard soft, deep whispers of encouragement and reassurance and in spite of the fear she felt, she smiled. "Cloud? It's Tifa please pickup"

"Tifa? How- d-did, did you call me? I must have left my phone on Fenrir"

"That's alright. The child, is he okay?" It was silent for a moment, Cloud either clammed back up as usual or he was observing the child. She really hoped it was the latter.

"He's sick…"

"Geostigma?" It came out as a whisper but a lot of the children in Edge had it, she wished she could do more than give them blankets and food if she could spare it but sometimes resources were limited and people who were free of it were afraid of contracting it. The people and children who had it were treated like lepers. She heard him confirm and without hesitation she responded "Bring him back here."

"Tifa… he might have family out here somewhere."

"Where is here exactly Cloud?"

Silence but she waited. "Sector 5" Well now she knew where he was going, or assumed where he was going when he never came home, it almost made her want to cry that he would prefer…shaking away her thoughts she swallowed

"He'll be safer here, also, we can care for him until he's better and we can better help find any family he has from here. It's not safe for him to stay there, just please bring him back Cloud. He called me…" that was all she said but he hung up without an answer. Tifa leaned back against the counter and folded her arms in thought, Cloud was in Sector 5… her church was in Sector 5. Not that the woman had negative feelings towards her old friend, it was just hard getting over her death, her absence and Cloud was taking it harder than anyone but it's been two years. He has to move on eventually.

Two hours later, barely, she heard the roar of Fenrir. She would know that engine anywhere, climbing off her bed, she ran down the stairs towards the back door knowing he would have parked back there. When she saw the boy leaning forward against Cloud's back, with his small hand being held tightly by the blond's glove clad one made her freeze. His hand was shaking.

"Are you… is he…?"

"He was shaking" he said his voice gentle and deep, floating through her as it always did. She moved back opening the door further as he lifted the boy into his arms walking past her into the bar. Tifa walked behind him, her scarlet eyes never leaving the boy's face. He had to be about eight or nine years old, not much older than Marlene.

Cloud laid him on Marlene's bed and Tifa immediately went to work. She pushed his brown hair from his face spotting the black smudge of the stigma clinging to his forehead, she instructed the older man to get a bowl of warm water with a cloth and put on a pot of tea. Once he left, she removed the boy's worn out shoes putting them on the floor, he must have been walking for a long time or just wandering around Sector 5. She thanked Cloud when he returned with the bowl, she dabbed the cloth on his face, wiping away the tear tracks, the dirt, and the grime and gingerly touched the stigma.

"Did he ever speak to you after hanging up with me?"

"No, he could barely stand or hold on to me."

"Thank you for bringing him."

He didn't say anything; she heard the door close behind her. Maybe she should try to get him to talk to her again, what could it possibly hurt? After making sure the boy was situated in the bed she slipped out and found Cloud in their shared room removing his sword harness. Tifa stood in the door frame

"Are you going to be leaving again?"

"Has anyone called about a delivery?"

She let out a sigh and rubbed her forehead lowering her eyes. Deflecting, that was his specialty. Moving further into the room she shook her head a few strands of her brown hair falling into her face. When he turned around, she was caught by the glow of his stunning blue eyes, how they fit perfectly into his angled pale and handsome face that was always framed by that unruly yet beautiful blond hair. It always amazed her how it always defied gravity even when they were kids, Cloud may have been a strange and quiet child but he was always beautiful. He tilted his head to the side in question but she only moved forward and forced him into a hug, she felt him tense in her arms but she held on.

"Tifa…"

"I really wish you'd talk to me…" He made a noise of discomfort but she ignored it and held on. "We're friends aren't we?"

"Tifa…"

"Cloud"

"Yes, we're friends."

"Then why don't you ever tell me what's going on with you?" Silence. Pulling back, she looked to him, he wasn't that much taller than her so she didn't have to look far but he always looked distant, after defeating Sephiroth, Aerith's death and coming to terms with Zack's death, or so she thought he did, he was just distant. Maybe that boy in the other room would make him stick around since Cloud was the only familiar face.

"Cloud?"

"Tonight" Click.

Tifa let out a sigh; although the conversation barely started at least she got what she wanted out of it. Resting the phone on the hook, she couldn't help but to smile before checking in on Marlene and Denzel then she began working to make dinner. It was always good for her to have food waiting for him, every night there was a covered plate with his name on it in the refrigerator with her hope that he would show up in the middle of the night, eat it, clean his dishes as he always did and come to bed. She always knew because she would feel him next to her, she always knew when he snuck into the bar, he was quiet but she knew.

Marlene eventually joined her at the bar, Tifa smiled to the beautiful girl with her large brown eyes, and long ponytail that really resembled Aerith's own hairstyle including the large pink bow.

"What is the prognosis Doctor?"

"He's sleeping, still in pain but I keep the warm cloth on his forehead and it helps with the pain sometimes but I think it's getting worse." Tifa worked hard to keep her face from betraying her feelings in front of Marlene as not to worry her "What if… we're not going to lose him right Tifa?"

"No honey, we're not" she said finally facing her with a small smile. Marlene always knew though but this time she just nodded

"Is Cloud coming home tonight?" She nodded with a much larger smile and the six year old's entire face lit up. Cloud had no idea the effect he had on the people here, Denzel admired him so much, loved him so much just as Marlene did. "Yes! I've missed him, did he say when?"

"No, he only said tonight." Marlene nodded accepting that answer and she set to work helping Tifa cook dinner.

That night Tifa lay in her bed, it was thirty minutes till midnight and he still hadn't come yet. Marlene was still hopeful she noticed, the young girl continuously looking at the door while she ate her dinner, eventually though she helped Tifa clean up before going back upstairs to her shared room with Denzel. She brushed her fingers through her dark hair before allowing herself to drift off to sleep.

She jerked awake hearing the roar of Fenrir, her wine colored eyes found the clock, it was ten after midnight and she frowned. He was late. Sitting up, she listened for him, the backdoor opened and closed barely making a noise, and Tifa heard him open the fridge and smiled. Good, at least he decided to eat. Waiting, she knew he'd eventually join her in their shared room but she remained still so he wouldn't realize she was awake but Tifa was always awake when he came home like this. Listening she heard him remove his harness, glancing over her shoulder she realized he must have left First Tsurugi behind the bar again and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes, she always scolded him for leaving that thing there. It was dangerous but she never worried, no one but Cloud can lift that thing. Once she was looking she couldn't look away, Tifa watched as the blond removed his black leather gloves and his black zip up turtleneck and it was then she noticed he added a sleeve to the left arm, her brows furrowed. What was that for? He pulled the shirt off and her eyes scanned the span of his back and her breath caught and she turned away closing her eyes feeling her cheeks burn.

I'm lying in bed and spying on him and he thinks I'm sleep… ugh I'm such a creeper. The bed dipped next to her and she immediately felt his warmth. Cloud usually never slept under the covers, the Mako in his blood kept him relatively warm and it was enough to warm Tifa at night that she never found herself shivering when he was in bed.

"Good Night Tifa" she heard him mutter, she didn't move not sure if he knew she was awake or not but it wasn't long before he was asleep. Letting out a silent sigh, she rolled over and looked at him; he was on his back, his right arm covering his eyes… Cloud…what have you been doing? Have you been running back to Sector 5 again? Her eyes found his left arm, it was bandaged but instead of blood staining the white bandage there was something else, Tifa stared not wanting to touch him but she had to know what it was.

"Nnng" She jumped at the sound of pain escaping his lips, the muscles in arms tensed and his face contorted into one of pain. Tifa sat up and watched him prepared to wake him up if it continued but it went away as quickly as it came and then she knew.