It had been a few years, but I was still waiting for him. Sweeping around Mr. Roderich's house, I pushed the dust from the floor into the small pan I was given to dispose of any unwanted dirt in the house. Walking over to the trash bin, I noticed the paintings on the walls that I had seen millions of times before. One of Mr. Roderich, a few of his greatest bosses, and one of him and a man who appeared to be an old general. If you looked closely enough, you could still see a bit of an outline on the painting of Mr. Roderich were I had painted a mustache on him in the first few years I was there.
"Feli!" Mr. Roderich said as he rounded the corner from the kitchen, his sleeves rolled up and hands covered in flour. He must have been baking something with Miss Elizaveta. "Have you finished sweeping the floors yet?"
"Yes sir. I just finished." I said; holding up the pan filled with dirt that I was taking to the trash bin.
"Good. That's all I have for you to do today. When you dispose of that you may go outside and do as you wish until supper." He walked back into the kitchen without another word.
"Yes sir!" I ran eagerly to the trash bin and emptied the pan, closing the lid afterwards. Mr. Roderich rarely gave me the day off, and I was eager to paint. I retied the handkerchief fastened to my head and ran off to my bedroom to retrieve my paints and canvases. My little legs didn't move too quickly and my skirt kept bunching up, but I didn't mind. I threw open the heavy wooden door and waddled over to the small chest at the foot of my bed. It was covered in dust and creaked as I pried open the lid. Reaching inside, I pulled out some brushes, a canvas, and a few jars of paint. They were beginning to feel empty and dried reds and blues crusted around the lids. The brushes were still soft but the handles worn. They would have to be replaced soon, but that was not my concern now.
I left the chest open and made my way back into the hallway, closing the door with my foot. The stone was cold through my shoes, and I was eager to get outside. Rounding corner after corner, I found the large doors that marked the front entrance to our house. The doors opened outwards, so I turned and pushed them with my back as to keep my paints from spilling out onto the floor.
The sunshine was bright and warm on my face and the grass was a vivid green. The blue sky was filled with fluffy white clouds and birds of all colors singing as they flew through the warm air. A soft breeze brought the scent of fresh roses to my nostrils and ruffled my apron and skirt. My light brown hair waved in the gentle wind and for a moment I stood there, admiring the beauty of this afternoon.
There was a large tree atop a hill not far from the house. Carrying everything with me, I made my way there. A blue butterfly fluttered over and sat atop the corner of my canvas, its wings flapping slowly. They seemed to make a face at me! Giggling, I plopped myself down under the old tree and gently blew on the delicate creature. It glided off of the canvas and joined another on a nearby bush of white roses. I peered around, looking for an ideal scene to paint, and settled on the bushes of roses on either side of a great gate that marked the edge of our land. I choose a small brush to make certain that small details would not be missed or smudged, and began to open lids on jars of green, gray, white, and gold. The gates were gold and gleamed in the sunlight with a decorated "H" at the top. The roses were in full bloom today. Wide open, they seemed to invite all to their fragrant bushes.
Smiling softly, I dipped the brush into the green paint, the smell wafting into the clean after noon air, to begin painting the grass blowing in the wind. This was not a difficult task and I finished it quickly. The different greens adding compliment and dimension to each blade and gave the appearance of movement. Looking back up again, I noticed something odd. The gates were open when, just a moment before, they had been shut firmly, and the largest rose from the bushes was missing. It was as though it just disappeared. Glancing around, I looked for anything that could have opened the gate and snatched the rose, but saw nothing other than a pair of brightly colored birds singing as they flew swiftly through the air.
"Uh…" I said, thinking out loud to myself, "I wonder where that flower could have gone."
"I think it went right here." I jumped as a voice came from my left side. It was not mine and as far as my knowledge went no one had followed me out to the yard. Looking slowly to my left, I saw a person around my height. He wore a tattered black cape and his black robes were caked in mud and what appeared to be blood, and there were noticeable tears in several places. His hat seemed to have gotten worn and the shiny gold button on the side was dull and rusted to match the dirt clinging to it. When my eyes fell upon his face, I recognized him immediately. Dark, clear blue eyes still sparkling with the same love I had seen the day he left framed with tussled blond bangs and placed squarely above a smiling mouth where the voice had protruded from. In his outstretched hand he held the white rose that had been taken from the bushes.
"Roma!" I jumped up and brought him into a tight hug. I had not seen him for quite some time.
"Feli, I've missed you." He sighed as he brought his arms around me and snuggled his head between my neck and shoulders. I felt hot tears fall onto the soft green fabric of my sleeves. Tears began to run down my own cheeks to match.
"Roma, where have you been for all this time?" I asked, beginning to choke on the tears soaking his cape. I couldn't believe that it was really him. That I was holding him in my arms and we were together again.
"I was fighting in the war. I had to come see you, and I think the fighting is just about over." He grabbed my shoulders, now wet with his tears, and held me out in front of him. "I can't believe how much you've grown in such a short time! I've really missed out, haven't I?" I nodded. I couldn't seem to form words any more. I was still in shock that Roma was really back. Was really home. "I want you to have this." He said, holding out the rose he had taken from the bushes as he entered through the gates when I was distracted painting grass. My hand trembling, I reached out and took the delicate bloom from him.
"It's beautiful." I said, admiring the rose. "And it smells heavenly." I added, holding the plant to my face and breathing in.
"Just like you." He said. "I-I mean the part about being beautiful. Not the smelling heavenly bit. N-Not that you don't smell nice!" He began to stammer hopelessly, trying to cover for himself. I giggled and stopped him where he was.
"Roma! I know just what you mean."
"You do?" He looked relieved.
"Mhm. I do. And I have something for you as well." Before he could say another word, I leaned in a kissed him gently on the lips, just like the day we said goodbye. He seemed startled at first; I could feel him tense up. Soon tough, he relaxed and kissed back. His lips were soft and warm, and the feeling of them against my own sent heat throughout my entire body. Sparks sent electricity through my lips as I pulled back. Smiling, I looked him right in the eyes. He returned my stare and smiled back. There was a touch of sadness in his eyes, and I could tell that he didn't want the kiss to end. "Come on, Roma. We must inform Mr. Roderich and Miss Elizaveta of your return."
"Are they still around?" He asked. He seemed confused as to the fact that we stayed instead of leaving like everyone else.
"Yes. Mr. Roderich, Miss Elizaveta, and I are the only ones left. I'm sure they'd be glad to see you home safe again!" I grabbed his hand and began to pull him back towards the house.
"What about your painting?" He asked.
"I'll come back for it later. This is much more important." He stopped resisting and began to run alongside me. We laughing and yelled as we ran towards the house, the sun beating down on backs, the sound of our feet slapping the ground in our hurry to the front doors. When we reached them, I yanked them open and ran through the house with Roma close behind. "Mr. Roderich, Miss Elizaveta! Roma's home! He's finally home!" When I received no answer, I ran back through the foyer to the kitchen where they had been before I left. "Wait right here, Roma. I want to surprise them!" I entered the kitchen and found them at the counter preparing supper.
"Feli, you're back earlier than I had expected. Why are you out of breath?" Mr. Roderich said. He must have noticed how heavily I was breathing.
"I ran all the way back here. I have the most wonderful news!"
"What is it dear?" Miss Elizaveta asked, cocking her head.
"Roma's home! He's home! He gave me this rose!" I held out the white blossom to show them.
"Well isn't that sweet." Miss Elizaveta replied, placing the rose in my hair to match the pink ones in her own. "But where is he?"
"Right here!" I said, pointing at the door. Just as I said those words, Roma walked into the kitchen and came to stand beside me. Mr. Roderich dropped the dough he was rolling on the counter and Miss Elizaveta's jaw dropped. Neither of them seemed to believe that he was really home at last. Roma just laughed and took my soft hand into his rough, worn ones.
"It's good to be home." He said. "Roderich, Elizaveta. How are you? It's been a while since I've seen you both." With his free hand, he took Miss Elizaveta's and gently brought it to his lips. "You have grown even lovelier since the day I last saw you, m'lady." Mr. Roderich pushed his glasses further up on the bridge of his nose.
"Roma. What brings you back home?"
"The end of the war! Oh, but Roderich, may I speak to you in the hall for just a moment?" He gently placed my hand at my side and gestured towards the door for Mr. Roderich to follow him.
"W-why yes." He said. "Elizaveta, excuse me." Roma swiftly left the kitchen, and Mr. Roderich stumbled after him, closing the heavy wooden doors behind him.
"Feli," Miss Elizaveta began. "When did Roma get here?"
"Not long ago. I was outside painting and he snuck up on me. I think he came through the front gate near the rose bushes." I gestured towards the front of our house where the Roma found me on the hill.
"Do you know how long he'll be staying?" She seemed concerned, but I didn't know why.
"Forever I think." Smiling brightly I grabbed a stool and dragged it over to the counter where Mr. Roderich had just been working and climbed up onto the cushioned seat. I picked up the dough left on the counter and began to kneed it where Mr. Roderich left off. Miss Elizaveta returned to the round table in the center of the kitchen and resumed slicing the potatoes we would have with our supper. The dough began to feel slimy, so I sprinkled it with flour and continued to kneed it until it was light and fluffy.
"Was Mr. Roderich making bread for supper, Miss Elizaveta?" I asked holding up the dough.
"I believe so, Feli." She replied flatly. "Why don't you run along and see if Roma is done talking with Roderich?" She nodded her head towards the door as she continued to slice the potatoes. I nodded and ran back towards the kitchen doors. Just as I began to knock the doors flew open. Before I could stop my hand, I hit Roma square in the face.
"Roma! I'm so sorry!" I said as I jumped back from the doorway. Roma just laughed and grabbed the arm I hit him with, pulling me into a tight hug.
"Oh, Feli. How I've missed you." He laughed.
"So you aren't mad?"
"Not at all, my dear!"
"Oh thank goodness!" I wiped my hand across my brow. "Let me show you to your room." I gestured in the direction of the corridor housing all of our bedrooms.
"Lead the way!" He said. Grabbing his hand, I pulled him from the kitchen, leaving Mr. Roderich and Miss Elizaveta to work. I pulled him faster and began to run through the house with him being dragged behind.
"I'm sure you remember where it is!" I said. It hadn't been too long of a time that he would forget how to locate his own bedroom. When we arrived in the corridor where our bedrooms are, I brought him all the way to the end of the hall and we stood in front of the tall, light door to Roma's room. I pushed it open and stood to the side to allow him inside the room.
It was as though he hadn't seen his room before. As he stepped inside, he gazed around the entire room, his mouth hanging open in awe. The window was open, and he stood in the sun lighting the entire room, the gauzy white curtains blowing gently in the breeze leaking in through the window. He turned to the bed and ran his hand along the headboard before climbing up next to him on the soft, black blanket.
"Feli, come up here." He patted the space on the bed next to him. I climbed up next to where he sat and smiled at him. He took my hand in both of his and looked me square in the eyes. "You're eyes are a lovely brown, Feli." He whispered.
"And yours are a lovely blue." I replied. He chuckled and placed my hand over his chest. Over his heart.
"Do you feel that?" Roma asked.
"It's your heart beat."
"Yes. And it beats for you and you alone." His eyes began so shine with a wetness that seemed to portray his holding back tears. "I love you, Feliciano."
"I love you t-" I didn't get to finish my sentence. Before I could say another word he pressed his lips against mine. They were full of heat and lust, but he didn't make any moves to go further. He didn't even let his tongue slip out. It was just a kiss. Warm. Soft. Perfect.
After recovering from the shock, I kissed back. I wrapped my arms around him and held him, held our bodies together. We were one, just like he had wanted, but in a different sense. Not one as a country or an empire, but one as two people who would give up the entire world to keep the other safe and in their arms. I felt as though the heat from our persons would melt us together and we would never have to let go.
"Feliciano! Roma! Supper is ready!" Mr. Roderich called from downstairs. I slowly pulled away from Roma and smiled at him. I could tell he was bitter that Mr. Roderich had interrupted, but he wasn't about to say anything. The look on his face gave him away just fine. I just giggled.
"Are you ready for supper, Roma?" I grabbed his hand and jumped off the bed, pulling him down with me. He looked past me at the door for a moment, but then looked back at me.
"I'm not hungry, thank you. I'll stay here and rest for a bit."
"Are you sure?" I asked. He still looked beat up, and he would need to regain his strength from fighting for all this time.
"I'm sure. I'll just run a bath and clean up." He laughed at pecked me on the cheek. "You go eat." As he said that, he turned towards the bathroom, his cape flowing out behind him. I couldn't help but be reminded of the day we said goodbye to each other. I could hear him fill the tub with water as I turned to leave. He began humming softly as I pushed the door open. Giggling to myself, I skipped happily down the corridors and many stairs leading down to the main foyer. I found myself smiling wide as I rounded the corner into the kitchen. Mr. Roderich and Miss Elizaveta were already seated at the table, but with only one open seat.
"You didn't set out a seat for Roma?" I asked, confused.
"No," Mr. Roderich replied. "Roma informed me while we were talking that he would not be joining us for supper." I waddled around to the opposite side of the table and yanked out the chair at the place set for me. The chair was a bit too tall, so I anchored my hands on the seat and pulled myself up on top of the cushion. My feet still didn't touch the ground and dangled in the air as I filled my glass with water from the pitcher.
"Um, Feli?" asked Miss Elizaveta.
"Yes?" I replied before shoving a forkful of steaming potato into my mouth.
"How long did Roma say he was staying again?" she asked. She seemed sad. Before replying I picked up a cloth napkin and wiped off my face before setting it in my lap and swallowed.
"I believe he's staying forever. He said the war was over, and if the war is over I don't see any reason for him to leave." Miss Elizaveta and Mr. Roderich exchanged a weary glance. "Miss Elizaveta, would you please pass me the bread?" She grabbed the basket full of freshly baked bread and placed it gently in front of my plate. The warm slices still steamed ever so slightly as I picked one up and began to nibble at the edges, letting the soft grain slide down my throat, warming my core.
I took another spoonful of potatoes before jumping up off of my chair and running towards the closed kitchen doors.
"Feliciano," Mr. Roderich called from the table. "Don't you want any more? There's plenty here!"
"No thank you, sir. I would like to go see Roma again! He should be done bathing by now!" I went to push the doors open, but Mr. Roderich grabbed my arm before I could. "Mr. Roderich?" I looked up at him, confused.
"Feliciano, don't go up to his room. You will not like what you find." His eyes were drooping downwards and shining with tears. I had never seen Mr. Roderich like this. He was never one to let others see his emotions, let alone see him cry. Miss Elizaveta got up from her seat at the table and walked over to the two of use before squatting down in front of me.
"Feli, trust us. Don't go up to his room." She said, holding her finger under my chin. A single tear rolled down her cheek and I heard Mr. Roderich sniffle. I looked at him and he was dabbing at his eyes with the handkerchief he kept in his pocket. I couldn't stand to see the two of them like this. I threw the doors open and squirmed out of Mr. Roderich's grasp before sprinting towards the stairs leading to the bedrooms. I could hear him yell out behind me.
"Feliciano, no! You are not going to like what you find!" he yelled. I could faintly hear the footsteps behind me as I ran faster still up the stairs. My heart was pounding in my ears and I was gasping for breath. The feeling in my legs was beginning to escape me as I reached the top step and ran down the hallway lined with bedrooms. Skidding on the carpet, I slammed open Roma's door, spinning around quickly and slamming it shut and throwing the latch into place. I stood against it, trying to help keep it shut. Mr. Roderich and Miss Elizaveta yanked on the handle on the opposite side of the door and, when it wouldn't open, called to me.
"Feliciano!" Miss Elizaveta yelled through the slab of wood separating us. "Feliciano, open the door! We only want to protect you!"
"There is nothing to protect me from!" I yelled in return. "I can face whatever it is!" As I uttered those words, the clanking resulting from their yanking on the door handle ceased. I didn't know if they had left or were simply waiting outside, but I slowly backed away from the door. I turned around as slowly as I could. No matter what I had just said, I wasn't at all sure whether I could handle whatever they were trying to protect me from alone.
When I had turned all the way around and faced the opposite direction of the door, I glanced around to find…
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just the open window, the curtains still fluttering delicately in the breeze. I ran to the center of the room, calling for Roma.
"Roma? Roma, are you here?" I said. I began to look around rapidly, trying to find him. He wasn't anywhere, but out of the corner of my eye I saw something on the bed. I walked cautiously over to it, and noticed that it was a roll of parchment. There was a black satin ribbon keeping it rolled up, and it was fastened with a rusted, muddy, gold button. The edges of the ribbon fluttered lightly in the breeze, as the curtains did.
Gently, I unfastened the button and untied the ribbon, setting them both on the bed. I hoped up on the blanket and unrolled the note.
"Sixth of August, 1806.
Feliciano Vargas. My love. I am sorry that things had to go this way. You seemed so happy when I found you out on the hill earlier this afternoon. You couldn't seem to contain your excitement at having me home. It has been the greatest pleasure to spend the last few hours with you.
I had to leave. It wasn't my choice, but I had to. Yesterday , my boss Francis II, told me that today would be the day that I would have to leave forever."
I felt tears welling up in my eyes. This couldn't be real. It had to be fake! I continued reading.
"When Austria's and Russia's armies were defeated by Napoleon at the Battle of Austerlitz, it sealed my fate. When that happened, I knew that I would not return home."
I couldn't help it. The tears I was holding back spilled over and I wiped them away with my sleeve, sniffling and struggling to find air, choking on my tears.
"When this happened, I asked Francis II if I could have a few hours to return home and say goodbye to the ones I loved. He agreed and told me that I would have until the sun set this evening.
When I pulled Roderich into the hall this afternoon, I informed him of what would happen to me. I suspect he informed Elizaveta as well. I asked him to keep it from you for as long as he possibly could. I wanted you to be happy until it was no longer possible to keep you from knowing."
I began to cry, loud and full of sadness. My sobs echoed throughout the entire room and I heard something jiggle the latch in the door but didn't care and pressed on through the reading.
"I wanted to spend my last hours with you, and that's what I did. You were my first and only love, Feliciano. I will never forget you, and I hope that you will never forget me. I loved you with everything I had and everything I was. If the need arose, I was willing to give up my life to keep you alive. I'm sorry there was nothing more I could do for you. All I ask is that you remember me with fondness and love, and tell mine burder that I love him.
-Roma"
That couldn't be it! He couldn't be gone!
"Roma! Roma, please! You can't be gone yet! Come back!" The door flew open and Miss Elizaveta ran into the room as Mr. Roderich threw down the sword he must have used to get in. Miss Elizaveta ran over to where I lay on the bed, sobbing, and pulled me into her arms, shushing me and stroking my hair. Tears began to run down her cheeks as I screamed into her chest.
"Feli, I know it hurts. Shhh..." She tried to sooth me. Mr. Roderich sat on the other side of me and wrapped his arms around us both.
"Make him come back, Mr. Roderich! You have to make him come back! I loved him and now he's gone!" I cried and clawed as the sleeves of Miss Elizaveta's dress. He began to cry himself.
"Feliciano, there's nothing I can do. I'm sorry." He whispered, resting his head on mine. My sobs racked my entire body, and I felt my heart break inside my chest. It was becoming increasingly difficult to take in air, and I was gasping between screams and tears of agony. I knew he was gone and that there was nothing I could do about it. He would never come home.
As the three sat on Roma's bed, sobbing over the loss of a close member of their "family", a strong gust of wind blew into the room, picking up the satin ribbon Feliciano had placed on the bed next to him. The breeze carried the ribbon out the window, the fabric glistening as it flew past the great gates at the front of the house. Past the fading Holy Roman Empire as he joined his grandfather before they both turned their backs on the magnificent golden arches forever; the decorated "H" still gleaming in the last light of sunset.