Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Battlestar Galactica

Lee/Kara Angst - Potential Spoilers in the Future

Rating: T

I just needed a filler between Unfinished Business and The Eye of Jupiter

No You Will Not Be Alone

She looked so alone, forlorn…how many times had he thought about talking to her. Gods, she was always on his mind, evermore since she challenged him to the fight, it had only gotten worse. So many times he lacked the courage to try, to try and reestablish a connection with Kara. Slowly, looking around at the deserted corridor, he realized he couldn't walk away this time.

He could hear her whispering prayers to the Gods, for someone who professed to move on quickly after death, it seemed Kat's death had affected her deeply. Lee took a deep breath and approached Kara as she stood before the memorial wall. So many souls lost, just like the one standing before him. Lee didn't know how Kara would react. Did anyone ever know how Starbuck would react? That was part of her appeal, you had to know how to handle Starbuck. Would she be angry, shy, or the worst he could imagine – cold and distant? Would she act like he had never been apart of her life, as if they never meant anything to each other, he had to know.

Lee stood there, fear and anxiety gripping his insides as he laid his hand gently on her right shoulder and squeezed. Her surprise was visibly apparent in her reddened eyes. She quickly turned back toward the collage of pictures.

"Hi," was the only syllable she uttered. Lee increased the pressure gently on her shoulder.

"Kara… she knew what she was doing," Lee stated softly, willing her to look at him. "She was smart enough to know when to stop, you can't blame yourself."

"Well Lee, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I know I had more to do with it than you realize. Once again, I've screwed up. A good pilot is dead because I was a hardass. When will you learn what I am…?" Kara bowed her head and pulled away with that last statement.

Lee could see a tear roll from the side of her face. He realized instantly Kara was broken, tired of the fight. This wasn't like Starbuck. Where was the female warrior he had fallen in love with? Kara never broke down, it just wasn't in her nature, she had told him emphatically on several occasions. He didn't hesitate when he turned her to face him and embraced her tightly. He felt her sigh and shutter with the last bit of control of her emotions. Whispering softly in her ear, murmuring nonsense he felt her gradually relax.

"I think we need to go somewhere private, follow me," Lee urged as he pulled her along out of the memorial corridor, off to the right there was a small storage locker. He pulled her in, turned quickly, and closed the hatch.

He turned the switch to a dim overhead light and watched Kara slide down the side a large crate and bury her head in her hands. Lee moved closer and slid down next to Kara reaching to embrace and pull her against his side. She stiffened at the contact but gradually gave herself into the comfort he offered. They sat quietly against the crate for several moments. Sitting with her, feeling her against him, it was as if the past year had melted away. Lee listened as Kara's breathing became more even and her trembling began to ease. Using his free hand, Lee pushed back the short blonde strands from Kara's forehead. He leaned forward and gently placed his lips on her forehead.

"You need to talk, I need to listen," Lee urged gently.

"Lee, I can't, not now, not after everything," Kara replied softly.

She was right. There were so many things between them. So much unsaid, could they ever make it right? Lee didn't know if it was possible, but he was willing to try. He knew that seeing Kara again, working with her, and wanting her as he did was driving him to a breaking point. Their fight did little to relieve the tension, interactions between them were still awkward and unnatural.

After a moment, in a soft voice, Kara questioned, "Where do you want me to start?" Her voice was raspy with the tears she had shed. She looked at him for the first time since he approached her.

"Just start talking, about anything, anything at all…"

Pausing to collect herself, Kara began quietly, "I'm sorry, Lee. I'm sorry for everything. I have carried this with me since the day I married Sam. What I did was…"

Kara stopped talking and dipped her head to take a deep breath. Lee lifted her chin and met her eyes.

"I'm sorry too Kara. You're right, what I did, making love to you when I knew you cared for Sam. It wasn't one of my better decisions. I think I felt trapped, I knew you wanted to settle on New Caprica and I could bear the thought of letting you go without knowing how I felt. It was why a sought you out when I should have been elsewhere. I knew after the shock of your marriage that I pushed you towards it. You even said that night that you weren't getting married. I knew you were with Sam, but it didn't stop me. I couldn't stop. I don't regret it, but I'm sorry," Lee stated quietly.

"I'm not sorry about what we did either. I'm sorry that I hurt you. Gods, Lee I never meant to hurt you. When I woke up that morning all I could think about was how it was the most beautiful night of my life, but in the same moment, I knew if I let "us" happen, it would destroy us. I didn't want to lose you, so I did the one thing that pushed you away forever. I told you I'm a frack up," declared Kara as she rested her head against his shoulder.

Moving his mouth near her ear, Lee whispered softly, "I still care for you Kara, regardless of what you think. I hurt for a long time. I was furious with you, I hated myself for what I had done. I cursed you for all the unhappiness in my life, but I know you weren't solely responsible. We both had a hand in the situation."

With the heavy weight of those spoken words between them, neither knew what to say next. Lee and Kara sat quietly not looking at each other, but deep in thought about the other. After a few tense minutes, Kara quietly asked the question they were both thinking.

"So what now, how do we move on?"

"I don't know if I can move on. Kara… I've never stopped loving you. I married Dee because I thought it would fill the void you left. The only thing I filled was my face and that didn't work at all, you saw the result."

"You were looking pretty pudgy there when we first returned to Galactica." Kara emphasized with a small smile and a poke to his midsection.

Grabbing her hand, he squeezed as he responded, "Thanks, I'll remember that." Lee smiled to himself thinking this was the Kara he remembered. He smiled back. Something happened as always with them, magnetic and forceful, a fascination without end, the attraction they always seemed to fight until that one night on New Caprica.

"Lee…" Kara whispered. Kara barely heard Lee murmur her name as his lips met hers. Months faded away and she was once again on that stretch of sand in Lee's arms. It was as if no time had passed. The kiss began gently, but turned demanding and urgent. Tongues entwined and danced, entranced with the taste of each other, it was several moments before Lee pulled away.

"We can't do this Kara…" Lee was only inches from her lips. His breath was heavy and she could feel his heart race beneath her palm.

"Lee, when have you ever known me to do the right thing?"

Lee shook his head as if shaking away cobwebs from his mind. He placed both of his hands on either side of her face, cupping it and wiping away the blonde fringe that had fallen in her eyes.

"Kara, I can't stop, Gods help me, but ..." Lee leaned forward to kiss her gently. Kara didn't resist, but melted into Lee. Leaning slowly to the side Lee pulled Kara so they were both lying on their sides facing each other. They continued to kiss and touch, and discover what the other had missed for so many months. Eventually, wrapped in each others arms Kara shared many of her secrets. Lee held her as she cried and murmured soft soothing phrases until she calmed down. He learned of things he could only dream of in nightmares. Each person on Galactica had their own personal set of demons, but it seemed Kara had more than her fair share. He learned of so many things, the Farm back on Caprica, Casey, the daughter Kara thought was hers, her imprisonment by Leoben, and the failure her marriage had become. He held her tighter with every story and he knew this time it would be even more difficult to let her go.

to be continued?