Ever Wonder If...
Disclaimer: I do not own Love Hina, any of its characters, or any thing Love Hina-ish. Ken Akamatsu does. So thank him for creating this awesome manga series.
A/N: Well, this is my second FanFic about Love Hina and in general. Hopefully, my experience before helps, but it does not mean that much! If you actually read my other story before, I said it wouldn't be a Naru/Keitaro fic, and I intend to hold true to that. Please R&R!
Summary: Keitaro one day gets to make a wish...just one! So he whishes the impossible...to understand women! How does his wish get granted?
"..." Denotes speech
Italics Denotes thought
Bold Denotes sound effects
::blah:: Denotes time/time change
------------- Denotes scene/scene change
Denotes daydreams and sleeping dreams
Chapter 1: Magic Genie in a Sake Bottle
::Sunday Morning, 8:00::
-------A Public Park Somewhere Near Hinata-sou------
People were milling about in a normal fashion, that is for the few in a park this early in the morning on a Sunday. It was fall, so the weather had been getting chillier. But the people in the park this particular morning were not cold at all; rather, they were actually quite warm because they would bundle up to their boyfriend/girlfriend or to their parents. You could feel the harmony with the world as people walked through the park, strolling slowly, purposefully. But suddenly, the stillness and tranquility was broken.
BAAAAMM! Something had crashed into the middle of the park, leaving a crater quite wide.
"Waah! Mommy, what is that?!" a child cried, seeing a form rising from the dust. A man walked out and started limping in the direction of the Hinata-sou.
::1 hour earlier::
-------------Hinata-sou--------------
Urashima Keitaro woke up, slowly, groggily. Urrgh. I can't believe that it's morning already, Keitaro thought. Oh well, I've got to study today. Tomorrow I have mock exams. Keitaro got out of his futon and entered the bathroom, doing his business and brushing his teeth. He slowly walked back to his room when he saw shadows behind the door to the bath. Hmm...I wonder who could be taking a bath this early in the morning? Keitaro thought, glancing at his watch. It was 7:08 in the morning. She must be an early riser, Keitaro thought. He had an urge to call out, but he didn't want to be socked this early in the morning. I'm not dumb, he thought, walking back to his room. In fact, he didn't even know why he had walked by the bath-both his room and the bathroom were on the second floor, above the bath! I must be getting senile, he thought. Of course, he is only 20, though a 3 year ronin at that. He has tried for Tokyo University, or Todai as it was commonly called, three times, each time failing. His partner or enemy – depends on how you put it – is Narusegawa Naru, who although was Japan's top student somehow also managed to fail the exam to Tokyo University. Keitaro is the manager of a girl's dorm that his grandmother had so unceremoniously willed to him, and although he is not a pervert and in fact very innocent, he is accident prone and often confused, thus creating an illusion that he is a pervert who peeps on girls. Naru often gives him free trips to various parts of the city by way of physical punishment; in essence, she hits him so hard that he flies all the way there and only due to some incredibly random invincibility is he able to survive from each day.
Aoyama Motoko often joined in hitting or beating Keitaro with her kendo skills; she is an incredible warrior, and is trained to defeat demons and spirits. Other tenants include Maehera Shinobu, an innocent middle-schooler infatuated with Keitaro and great cook, Kaolla Su, a hyperactive very hungry foreigner, and Konno Mitsune, nicknamed Kitsune due to her foxy ways, who is addicted to sake and gambling.
Back in his room, Keitaro changed into casual wear. His wardrobe was not especially nice in any way; he only owned normal clothing, like sweatshirts, pants, t-shirts, etc., and one nice suit he had bought for some fancy occasion sometime. He took out his favorite "bounty" shirt and put it on. He actually didn't really care what he wore so much, as long as he didn't look like a hobo and felt comfortable.
"Sempai! Breakfast is ready!" a cute voice called out. It was Shinobu, who was the semi-appointed cook for the Hinata-sou. Truly amazing, as she was only in middle school and yet she managed to cook breakfast and dinner every day.
"Coming, coming!" Keitaro replied, and finished changing. He walked downstairs and walked into the kitchen. "Good morning, Shinobu!" he greeted.
"Good morning, Sempai!" Shinobu said, smiling broadly. Keitaro was totally oblivious, somehow, to Shinobu's infatuation with him, which is the way that Shinobu wanted it, though anyone observing the two of them could immediately tell the Shinobu had a crush on Keitaro. Often, the things most obvious to outsiders are not actually obvious to the people involved.
"Good morning, Keitaro," Naru said, coming in all refreshed. "Good morning, Shinobu-chan."
"Good morning!" they both answered. Naru sat down at the table. Motoko came in.
"Erhem, good morning everybody," Motoko said.
"Good morning," was the general reply. Motoko sat down and they waited for the last two tenants. Suddenly, Mitsune stumbled in to the kitchen.
"Kitsune!" Naru cried, and quickly went to help her best friend of many years.
"Ergh, I had too much sake last night," Kitsune hiccupped.
"Kitsune, you have too much sake every night. I recommend that you stop drinking so much, it's bad for your health!" Naru said.
"Ur, I think I'll just go lie down on the sofa," Kitsune said, and she stumbled to the living room with the help of Naru.
"Well, I think we should begin," Keitaro said. "Itadakimasu!"
"Itadakimasu!" everyone said, and they all began eating.
"Food?! Why didn't anyone tell me?!" a voice from outside the kitchen shouted, and Kaolla Su came flying in with her foot extended, kicking Keitaro in the face and out of his chair. SMACK!
"Owwww!" he cried, landing on the floor. When he got up, Su was busily eating all of the food in front of her, which included Keitaro's portion as well. "Su! Don't eat my food!" Keitaro shouted, and he grabbed what was left of it and quickly gobbled it up.
"Awww..." Su whined, but then went back to eating her food. Keitaro sat on his chair.
"Jeez, every morning you do that? Don't you ever get tired of hitting me?" Keitaro asked.
"Nopfe!♥" Su answered in between bites, spraying food over Keitaro's face. Keitaro wiped it off. "Jeez, I wish that you could calm down once in a while."
"Hey! Don't eat my portion too!" Naru protested, coming back from helping Kitsune lie down of the couch. Su had been reaching for it.
"Oops! Sorry Naru!" Su said.
"How come you say sorry to her and eat mine?!" Keitaro complained.
"Because you're an idiot?" Naru asked sarcastically.
"Don't call me an idiot!" Keitaro said, standing up.
"Then why are you a three-year ronin?!" Naru threw back, putting her hand on the table and shouting in Keitaro's face. Keitaro shrank back as Naru leaned over him. "And how come-eh?!" Naru said, seeing Keitaro looking at her, but not at her face. "You...you...PERVERT!" BAM!! With a single blow Keitaro was knocked out of the kitchen and into who knows where.
"Uh..." Shinobu said, sweat-dropping.
------------The Park-------------------------
The man was Keitaro. "Oh, that hurt," Keitaro said, limping away from the park.
"Mommy, is that man invincible?" a child ask, but the mom quickly turned the child away.
"Don't talk about strangers, it's rude," she said. Of course, Keitaro thought. Man, I don't understand Narusegawa. Actually I just don't understand women in general. What I'd give to understand them, Keitaro thought.
Daydream
"Narusegawa! I finally understand you!" Keitaro shouted.
"Keitaro?" Naru asked, confused.
"I know how you feel now!"
"Oh, Keitaro!!" Naru said, hugging him.
"Excuse me, can you move?" a man asked.
"Eh? Eh?" Keitaro said, realizing that he had been daydreaming. He was standing in front of a store blocking the entrance. "Oh! I'm really sorry!" Keitaro apologized, backing away. "Sorry!" he called as he walked back to the Hinata-sou. Jeez, how could I be that spacey? He asked himself. He went back to his musing as he climbed the steps towards the Hinata-sou. If I could only understand them, then maybe I could get lucky! He thought, crying and clenching his fist.
"Eh?!" he cried as someone pushed a mop into his hand.
"Idiot, I want you to clean up the mess the Kitsune left in the hot springs. It seems that she was drinking there all last night," Naru said.
"Oh. Okay," Keitaro said, snapping back to reality and going to do his job. He went into the changing room of the bath, and almost opened the door, but still stinging from his last blow, he knocked. "Anyone in there?" No one answered. He opened the door and breathed a sigh of relief. No one was currently bathing. He started to mop, then saw a pile of sake bottles. Oh, that must be where Kitsune was drinking, he thought, and started to put them in a bag.
"Hmm?" Keitaro mused aloud. "I've never seen this brand before." He peered at the lable. "Magic Genie in a bottle," it said, "The taste is just like magic!"
"How corny," he said and threw the bottle into the bag. He missed. "Wha-? How did I miss the bag?" he said, and picked up the bottle and threw it again. The bottle missed the bag and rolled towards Keitaro. "What the heck?" Keitaro said. He threw it several times, but missed each time. "Stupid!" he grunted in anger and walked over to the bag and put it in, but the bag fell over and the bottle rolled out. He picked up the bottle, anger rising, and threw it as far as he could away.
"There! I'll never see that again," he said, and dusted off his hands. BAAAM!! KRACK! Keitaro spun around at the noise and saw the bottle right at his feet, but broken open. Smoke was swirling out of it. "What the heck is this?" Keitaro asked. The smoke was swirling out of it and formed an impressive body of a man, though only the torso, arms, and head, and the bottom was a smoke trail. It looked like, essentially, a genie.
"WHO DARES DISTURB ME?" the genie looking thing bellowed.
"Eh?" Keitaro said.
"Oh, it's just you. Sorry, the last guy was a real jerk and I had to shout."
"What last guy?" Keitaro asked. "Who are you?"
"I'm...a genie! I grant wishes!" the genie said.
"So...I get three wishes?" Keitaro asked, unbelievingly. Immediately visions of wealth and riches filled his head. Then he thought he could get into Todai finally! And even perhaps understand women!
"Uh...no you don't," the genie said. "You seem to have an unlucky aura about you, so you only get one wish."
"One wish! What a rip off!" Keitaro said.
"Can't go against auras. So, what'll it be?" the genie asked.
"Hmm... let me think for a bit."
"Okay, I have a lot of time to burn," the genie said, then relaxed on a beach chair that had appeared from nowhere and started to read a book labeled War and Peace. Keitaro kept on thinking while the genie kept on reading. The genie flipped a page.
"KEITARO!" Naru bellowed from the entrance of the bath. "GET TO WORK!" and she closed the door. This snapped Keitaro out from his complicated thoughts that went something like this.
Well, I could be incredibly rich and then never have another worry. But then I still might not get into Todai. So I could wish to be incredibly smart, but would that gain me a girlfriend? What if I wished to understand women? But then I might be poor and not get into Todai... etc. etc. etc.
"Genie! I have made my wish!" Keitaro suddenly said.
"About time," the genie said, then he put his book down. "What is it?"
"I want to be able to understand women!" Keitaro said.
"Okay...ah...are you sure?" The genie said. "That's a very hard wish to gratify."
"Hey, you're a genie, aren't you?"
"Yeah, but just don't regret it," The genie said.
"Oh, I won't!" Keitaro assured the genie.
"Okay! You asked for it." And the Genie granted his wish.
--------------------Inside the Hinata-sou Kitchen---------------------
::After Keitaro had been smacked by Naru, about 8:00::
The group had finished eating, and Shinobu was collecting the dishes to wash.
"I'll go see if Kitsune is any better," Naru said, and left to do exactly that.
"Weeeee!" Su shouted, bounding out of the room to her room, probably to make some crazy invention again. Motoko coughed then said,
"I will be training on the roof if you need me." She left after Shinobu said a short answer.
"I wonder if Sempai is okay?" Shinobu wondered aloud, as she did every time Naru decided that Keitaro was just a little too perverted. She finished washing the dishes and went into the living room to find something to do. Today, she knew that Sempai and Narusegawa-sempai would be studying for tomorrow's mock exam, or at least when Sempai returned. Kitsune would probably doing what she does best-drinking, gambling, then passing out. Perhaps she could find out what Su was doing. Probably inventing something odd, Shinobu mused to herself. Maybe I'll just read a book. She walked up to her room and grabbed a book. This is a good book as any. But when she started reading it, she found it could not keep her interest. Ugh, this is really boring. She put the book down and looked outside her window. It was a beautiful day, and she couldn't help but wish she was enjoying the fresh air, so she went to take a walk.
"Shinobu!" Naru called out.
"Yes?" Shinobu said.
"Are you taking a walk? I'll go with you!" Naru said.
"Okay," Shinobu said. Maybe she could have a nice stroll by herself, but it is always better if there is someone to talk to. They both took a nice walk outside, the wind blowing the leaves and Sakura flowers everywhere, creating a surreal atmosphere.
"How is the studying going?" Shinobu asked. "Don't you have a test tomorrow?"
"Yeah, but I think it should be easy. I pretty much know everything I need to," Naru answered.
"What about Sempai?" Shinobu asked.
"You mean that idiot? Well, he's hopeless. He'll be lucky if he gets a 5 passing rate."
"Au! Is there no hope?" Shinobu asked, saddened.
"Well...maybe," Naru said, starting to climb back up the stairs. "But only if he gets a total change, like if he turns into a different person or something like that."
"Narusegawa-sempai! You're so mean!" Shinobu said.
"Hey, I can't help it if his intelligence is so low!" Naru defended herself.
"Well, thank you for walking with me!" Shinobu said, clearly not happy and ran up to her room.
"Ah..." Naru said, in the wake of Shinobu with a sweat-drop. Suddenly she saw Keitaro. "What is he so happy about?" Naru said. She went up to him and handed him a mop.
"Eh?" he said.
"Idiot, I want you to clean up the mess the Kitsune left in the hot springs. It seems that she was drinking there all last night," she said.
"Oh. Okay," Keitaro said, and he left to do that.
"Good, he's back," Naru said, then went inside herself. She plopped herself in front of the TV and started to watch. After a while, it came to her that she should check up on Keitaro. She went into the bath and saw him fooling around. "KEITARO!" she bellowed across the hot springs. "GET TO WORK!" She closed the door and grunted. "At least he's doing something, though, I'm really bored. Perhaps I should go study." She began to walk to her room, but realized that it was useless if Keitaro came and interrupted her in the middle and forced her to start over again, as he would normally do. "I'll just wait until he finishes with that bath. I'm sure he'll ask me once he comes out." Naru assured herself, and she sat back in front of the TV.
"Hmm...I wonder if anything good's on," She mused when she heard a girlish scream of abject terror coming from the bath.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" the voice shouted. Naru stiffened. Had Keitaro gotten a girl in there with him and was threatening perverted things? She had to find out. She rushed into the bath and saw a girl swinging her fist angrily at the air shouting something unintelligible. She looked safe, but Naru still looked around for Keitaro. Where was he? Hadn't she just left him in the bath?
::Just before Naru entered::
----------------The Bath--------------
"Okay, you asked for it!" The genie said. And he granted his wish. Smoke filled the air and Keitaro could almost feel something physically changing. Wait, something is physically changing, he thought. The smoke cleared. "All done!" the genie said. "Well, if that's it, I'm going!" the genie said.
"Wait! I still don't understand anything more about women!" Keitaro called out.
"You will!" the genie said, packing up the chair and putting away his book.
"Wait!" Keitaro shouted running after the genie. "Eh?!" Keitaro said, feeling something odd. He looked down at himself, and saw two things that he shouldn't have. Breasts? Why do I have...it must have been the genie!
"WAIT!" He called. "How can you turn me in to a woman?!!" The genie stopped.
"Well, you see, the only way you could understand them is if you became one."
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT BEFORE?!" Keitaro demanded.
"Sorry."
"Change me back! Change me back!" Keitaro shouted.
"Can't. You're stuck as a woman for the rest of your life! See ya!" the genie said. The sinking feeling that Keitaro had fully weighed in.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" he screamed. "YOU GREAT BIG IDIOT! YOU STUPID GENIE!" he shouted, roaring at the top of his lungs and swinging his fist uselessly in rage. "YOU MADE ME A GIRL!" But the genie just flew away and Keitaro stood there, feeling quite odd and useless. What was he going to do now?
"Hello, who are you?" Naru suddenly asked from behind.
"EH?!" Keitaro said, spinning around. "Narusegawa?!"
"Hmm? You know my name? What's yours? And why are you in here? I don't remember Keitaro saying anything about a new resident." Keitaro knew he had two choices here. He could either try to convince Naru of the impossible-that he had been turned into a girl by a genie-or he could pretend he was someone else, and run away. Of course he choose the least sensible option.
"Narusegawa! I am Keitaro!" Keitaro said.
"Um, if this is you're idea of a joke, it's really bad," Naru said. "Keitaro is a guy and doesn't have any of these," Naru continued, pointing at his chest.
"It's true!" Keitaro continued to assert.
"Don't be dumb. You're voice is totally different, too. Of course, you do look a bit like him if I think about it," Naru reflected, cocking her head from side to side, examining him.
"It's me! I'm Urashima Keitaro!" Keitaro said. "Remember the first time I accidentally looked through the hole in the ceiling of my room and saw you changing?" Naru blushed a deep red.
"I...I can't believe that pervert would tell someone else that! Ooooo, he's DEAD when he gets back!" Naru said, angry with rage at Keitaro.
"No! It's really me! I got turned into a women by a genie!" Keitaro insisted.
"Right. And the sea is above the clouds."
"Really! It's me...woah!" Keitaro shouted, as he slipped and landed in between Naru's breasts.
"Ahh!" Naru said, and pushed Keitaro away. "You've gotta be more careful than that! You're just like...Keitaro..." Naru said. "Wait, are you really Keitaro? What's your grade average?"
"49!" Keitaro replied.
"Well...I can't see why anyone would want to pretend to be Keitaro. Now that I think about it, it is so absurdly ridiculous, not to mention you're a girl."
"That's what I've been saying!" Keitaro said.
"And even if you were a guy, you still wouldn't want to be Keitaro," Naru said.
"Hey! You're so mean!" Keitaro said.
"Heey...I just thought of somethinhg...You just groped me!"
"No! It was an accident!"
"NARU PUNCH!" Naru shouted, smashing Keitaro for all he was worth. BAAAM!!
::Later on, around 10:00::
----------------Living Room of Hinata-sou----------------
"EEEEEEEEEEHH?! KEITARO'S A GIRL?!" everyone shouted.
"Uh...please don't make such a big deal..." Keitaro started to say.
"THIS IS A BIG DEAL! SHUT UP!" Motoko yelled. "I can't believe that you're actually Keitaro!" Motoko said, calmer.
"Au! Sempai's a girl!" Shinobu cried, running away.
"Ah...Shinobu-chan! Come back!" Keitaro reached out, but Naru stopped him.
"She'll come back. Right now we have to discuss about your little problem," Naru said.
"Yeah! Like why the heck Keitaro became such a cute girl all of a sudden!" Kitsune said. "Look at how nicely endowed she is!" Kitsune continued, grabbing Keitaro's newly acquired enlargements on his chest. (A/N I will still refer to Keitaro as a guy in terms of he/him/his/etc. except in speech and/or thought.)
"Um..." Keitaro sweat dropped. "Can you not do that?"
"How come this worthless guy suddenly turned into a cute girl?!" Kitsune whined.
"Kitsune! We have more pressing matters to attend to!" Naru shouted.
"Like what?" Haruka said, entering from apparently nowhere.
"What do you mean, like what? Like how to change him back!" Naru said.
"How? Keitaro, if what you say is true, can you change back?" Haruka asked.
"Well, err...the genie did say that I was stuck for the rest of my life," Keitaro said.
"So what is there to do? Just leave him as the manager and keep on living like he is," Haruka said.
"Err..." they all stuttered, lost for words. This had not occurred to them in the least. Haruka started to leave.
"You might want to change your wardrobe, though!" Haruka said. Keitaro was dumbfounded. What was going to happen with his life?
A/N: Yahoo! First chapter done! Hope you enjoyed it! Please R&R!