#AN: Well, it happened again. This idea wouldn't leave so I gave it a chance. Unlike my other stories, I expect this to be fairly short. Additionally, as an exercise in writing more freely, this will probably not meet my usual exacting editorial standards. Sorry in advance if that causes problems. Come one, come all, and watch Khan fail at project scoping!

#AN2: ...Or not? Ironically, in the time it's taken me to actually log in to the web site to publish, I basically finished it, less a possible epilogue. This means it'll also be my first completed story on this site. Weird.

Chapter 1: Rightsizing

Reimu blearily cracked an eye. The post-incident tea-party-cum-brouhaha-party never failed to leave her feeling pretty awful in the morning, but this time? Probably the worst ever.

But the shrine grounds were trashed.

The shrine didn't get enough donations as it was, and the leftovers left accidentally by revelers (which were many) didn't mean she could slack off.

After all, the shrine grounds were trashed.

So she found herself slowly working herself into a sitting position, futon piling around her waist. She felt like her head was stuffed with wool and nearly fell over a few times as she haltingly rose to fetch her broom.

Breakfast could come later; the shrine grounds were trashed.

She hoped that repetition of that point would distract her from the fact that she was out of rice again.

Cleaning was... therapeutic, somehow. Ultimately a simple task, not too strenuous when weighed against the stress of fighting monsters. And as the dew of early-morning lifted and things shifted from "the shrine is trashed" to "the shrine is somewhat presentable for a day when no one is likely to appear", she found herself feeling better. Waking up with muzzy had given way to something similar to her usual sharp-eyed apathy, at least. It wasn't late enough in the day for the sun to hit her porch and she really hadn't eaten yet, so "pleased" was out of reach. But the prospect of "content" was at least on the table (along with a short stack of rice crackers Keine had brought by and forgotten when she started reprimanding the more childlike visitors).

Those of you familiar with Reimu's life know what's coming next.

"Dear me, Reimu, you're looking... very much like yourself!"

Reimu sighed, a world-weary sound.

"Go away, Yukari."

"Now, now, don't be like that! Given the circumstances, I think it was an excellent celebration!"

"You would. I remember little enough that someone must have swapped my sake with the concoction in Suika's gourd."

"My, who would do such a thing?"

"Whatever, I'm not in the mood. Didn't you get your jollies last night?"

"Really now? Then I have something that ought to perk you right up!"

"Oh no."

Another gap appeared and from it dropped...

"From today, Chen will be the Hakurei Miko."

... Ran's familiar in very familiar clothes.

"Please take good care of me Reimu-shama!"

Reimu sat dumbfounded for a long time.

"Setting aside the fact that she's a youkai... what am I? Chopped liver? 'Thanks for everything, I'm kicking you out now'?!"

"Of your home? Don't be silly! I'll just leave and let you two bond. Ta ta!"

"Don't you dare! Yu-"

The Sage of Gaps was already gone.

"Yukariiiii!" Her ineffectual shout at the heavens startled a few fairies away, but didn't reach the target of her ire. A bit of shuffling caught her ear, and she looked back to see Chen shuffling awkwardly, black cat ears pinned back and two tails lashing about in agitation. Tears were welling in her eyes as though she was being abandoned. That's just unfair... She sighed again. "Sorry, Chen, it looks like you've gotten roped into one of that hag's pranks."

"Pranks?" Such a guileless child. Chen shook her head, "Chen will do her best!"

"Well, if you say so I guess I appreciate it? I don't expect you to play along, honestly, but I wouldn't mind a hand..."

"Yes! You won't be disappointed, Reimu-shama!"

"O-oi, that's... you don't need to call me anything so grand... isn't that a bit too much!"

"Hehe, Reimu-shama is humble! It's okay!"

Chen received a thin-lipped smile.

"Fine, have it your way. If you want to keep this charade going, I still don't feel too great, so could you finish sweeping the grounds and gather up the chestnuts so I can roast them later? I'm going to take a nap."

"Of course, Reimu-shama! Sleep well!"

It was hard to be mad at Chen's positivity in the face of this farce. If she wanted to take it seriously, Reimu wasn't inclined to burst her bubble. Too much effort.