Elizabeth's thoughts during prelude to a kiss, a little look back from after her and Jack spoke outside the saloon - this one has been in my head for a few times and keeps jumping at me whenever I watch the episode so I sat and did it
'Not just this town! Not just this town!' those four words were whirling around Elizabeth Thatcher's like the wheels of a spinning top in her head as she lay in her bed that night. 'What did he mean by them' she went over the night in her head once more, the night that had led to those words and the reason why even at this 2am hour sleep was evading her.
Her night hadn't had the best of starts Gowen had literally outed her in the town meeting, he had told everyone that she was leaving, but who was he to say that to everyone, she hadn't made her mind up, sure the offer was tempting but there were charms in hope valley, one charm in particular, that same charm she had been so worried about.
She had come into the cafe and saw Abigail stitching Bill's head, when she asked what happened he had told her about the mugging earlier that night and that Jack had gone off to find them and it was those seven words that had made her night restless, how could she sleep knowing he was out facing who knows what and who knew who, that cut on Bill's head had shown her that whoever these men were, they were dangerous and could cause a lot of harm to someone.
Lying in her bed hadn't helped her worry. In fact staring at the blank walls only made it worse, it was making her picture all sorts, what if he was hurt, what if he was captured, what if, what if, what if. She had moved to her window but it wasn't helping, even if she had seen him come back she wouldn't have known if he was alright and it was that thought that had led had caused her feet to move down the stairs and before she knew it, she was outside the jail.
"She had checked inside just to make sure he wasn't back and couldn't help feeling disappointed and frustrated when she saw he hadn't, she had found a blanket on the table by the door and with Rip following behind her had gone and sat on the same chairs she and he had a few times now, and waited, and waited, and waited, the longer she had to wait the more worried she got, and the thoughts about her getting hurt were becoming louder and louder, not that she would ever admit that to him though, maybe she would have if Rosemary hadn't shown up, but right now they both needed to think about their feelings and what the future held for them. and went through everything in her mind, she heard the distance sound of hooves crunching against the gravel, looking she had caught his eye and watched him dismount his horse and lean against the post in a way only could.
He had seen through her reason for being there straight away. All she had said was 'I'm glad you're back safely'
He had to catch her out 'Are you worried I wouldn't be'
Truth was she had been worried and was glad he was back safely, but why she had given the comet excuse she will never know, it was the first thing that had come into her head. He had seen right through it, wasn't convinced at all, not that she blamed him, who would be. They had spoken more about her leaving and that whatever she decided he would support her decision and then he said it
'This town needs you Elizabeth, not just this town' and had given her a look that made her think 'did he mean he needed her"she couldn't answer him, she just made her excuses about it being late and left, the words whirling around her head constantly
"And that had led her to this point, lying back in her bed, but instead of worry about him, it was more 'what did he mean, could it be that he needed her, as much as she needed him, was this him telling her that he had thought about his feelings and it was her he wanted, she was his decision,' it had made her decision to stay that much easier, maybe they could be together, but she couldn't leave even if they didn't, Hope Valley was her home, she loved her students, loved teaching them and to be honest this was the only place she could see herself living and where her future lay, and hopefully he would be her future but until he actually told her this she just wondered and dreamed of the what ifs as sleep finally came to her that night.
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