Another One-shot from my writers workshop. I hope you like it. And just for info: I'll update Obsessed this weekend

Summer Solstice

I was staring at the bathroom door.

The floor was cold under my feet, it's promises long forgotten.

Light shone through the open door into the hallway, the sun streaming white stripes into the hallway, warming my bare calves.

I wanted, needed to open this door to the room behind it, but on the other hand I just couldn`t. I would never find my piece of mind either way. I needed to make this decision and make it soon.

But I knew in that moment, even at the age of six, that this decision would alter my life for good.

When I had woken up, It was still dark. And I was alone.

It should have been the first sign. I never woke up alone, for I normally rose around 4 while my momma loved to sleep at least until 10.

Yellow light was streaming through the ajar door into my room, creating shadows of young princesses on strange creatures with scary weapons, all in black and white.

I stood up, the floor cold under my feet, exhilarating me with promises of recluse from another sweltering summer day. The clock said it was shortly after 4, but I could not read yet.

With light steps, I tip toed into the hallway, taking special care to make a wide berth around the princesses, my stuffed animal under one arm and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes with the other.

I thank Mother nature to this day that I didn't have to pee.

Hopping down the steps, I heard voices in the kitchen that I didn't recognize. I peeked through the door, looking for my momma or Jake.

There were men in white shirts and pants, wearing a red cross on their shirt pockets.

I saw Jake, and he me, and we ran to each other. His black fur made me always feel safe and warm and his tongue when he licked my hand was all kinds of funny.

But I couldn't see my momma, not even my daddy, who was always there when she wasn't.

I asked the men where my momma and my daddy were, but they would not look at me, not really. But they didn't need to, I already saw my momma, obscured by the men, sitting in the kitchen nook.

I went to her, tried crawling in my lap, but she did not respond.

Something was very wrong.

A third man came and talked to me, asking me all kinds of stuff. Jake was nervous, dancing around and running up and down between myself and momma.

I asked the man who they were, what they were doing here and where my daddy was, but he would not answer. Finally he took me back to my mom and told me I should ask her.

Her eyes were huge and she was so pale, almost as pale as me. But she was responding to me again.

I asked her what had happened and this time she answered.

"Daddy is dead."

I don't remember the next two hours and I'm thankful for that. My mother told me years later that I was crying and screaming and asking her who would do all the stuff daddy always did with me.

The next thing I remember is the feel of Jake's fur, as I held it between my fingers and Esme coming through the door. No one had made me something to eat yet and I was starving and told her as much.

While she was away I crept up the stairs, to the hallway and the bathroom door, to the room behind it and the man in it.

I wanted to see him, desperately, but I hesitated. This moment was important, I knew it, but I could not decide. The men would soon take him away and my Esme would come looking for me.

It was now or never.

The cold on my feet, the warmth on my calves, it all seemed so surreal. Like the shadow princesses watching me in my sleep, guarding me or waiting for the moment to strike and end my life.

I decided on never.

To this day I doubt my decision, am angry at my cowardice but at the same time incredible grateful for it.

Some things just aren't good or bad, they are both.

Just like the young princesses on their strange creatures with their scary weapons.

You know I love reviews more than rasberry cupcakes