A/N: Hey All! Griffin-Queen here FINALLY with the sequel to "My Killer, My Comrade, My Greatest Friend." I don't know why it's taking me so long to organize my thoughts and get these sequels out honestly, but I finally managed to create a beginning that I was satisfied with and post it. I plan to have this be a collection of oneshots following what happens down in the Aperture Science lab after the events of the first story. It'll be lighthearted and silly for the most part, but there may be some dark moments thrown in the mix as well.
NOTE: This story will contain the Co-op bots quite a bit, and it is my personal interpretation that P-body is a male robot. It is my firm belief that you do not need to be a female to have a feminine personality, or feminine qualities about you. If you do not agree, that is fine, but do NOT try to tell me that I am wrong. I am entitled to my own personal interpretation of P-body's personality, and if you don't like that fact, you can stick a potato in your tailpipe.
That being said, I hope you enjoy the sequel!
Chell packed herself a lunchbox full of food, and put as many water bottles on top as she could fit. She put her lunchbox on her couch, and began packing a small duffle bag full of clothes. Tonight was her night out, though could it really be considered a night out when your definition of "out" was traveling miles under the ground to pal around with a sarcastic supercomputer? Chell wasn't sure her logic, or her sanity, was entirely sound, but she pushed it to the back of her mind and focused on her packing. She was still getting used to the fact that she was excited to be heading back to the Aperture Science lab.
Deep under the surface of the Earth, another mind was contemplating Chell's return. A brilliant mind, with so very much to think about. GLaDOS swung around from her post on the ceiling, keeping her facility in top working order, and creating new test chambers to save for future use. She was particularly chipper tonight, however, as she knew that her new friend was coming to see her.
….Friend…
This word was still very new to GLaDOS, but she had learned, somewhat reluctantly, to embrace the fact that she had a friend. After all, it was far easier to befriend Chell than it had ever been to try and kill her, and GLaDOS did enjoy easy solutions. GLaDOS wondered why she had ever tried to kill the girl… The only person that had ever cared to listen to what she had to say that didn't concern work or science… The only person that understood her… She shook her head slightly, as she realized this… fluff… in her mind was conflicting with the maintenance she was conducting on one of the cube transport lines that was leaking air. Chell would be here soon enough, she would think about it more then.
At the edge of the wheat field, Chell removed her shoes and tucked them into her duffel bag. Breaking into a run, she soared through the wheat like it had a current that was pulling her along. All of the arduous tests GLaDOS put her through had put her in top physical condition, and she scarcely ran into an athletic challenge that tired her out for too long.
After a while, she reached the metal shed. Giving the door the special knock she and GLaDOS had agreed on, she was granted entry, and she boarded the lift bound for GLaDOS' chamber. It took about two solid minutes for the lift to reach her chamber, but when it did, she saw GLaDOS spin around to greet her.
" Ahh. I was wondering when you'd be here." She said. Chell found her mechanized voice oddly comforting these days.
" Tonight is Friday isn't it?" Chell said with a smirk.
" What exactly is it that you do when you're not here? I can only imagine it's not half as interesting, but I admit, I am curious."
" Yeah, you're right, it's boring… I mostly work when I'm not here. Sometimes I go and visit with the neighbors… I am trying to save up to go to school though ."
" Oh? What course of study?"
" I don't know yet. I figure I'll start off really broad, and then narrow in on something once I've tried a few different things."
" A wise decision I suppose…. And you know, I have access to whatever funding was left behind. I have no use for money, as I've become completely self-reliant down here. I can't give you very much in one place without it looking suspicious… But if you find a worthy course of study I'm sure I can help you out."
" Really…? You'd do that?"
" Why not? You've performed tests for me, it's almost like I employed you. And please… fabricating a few scholarship contests? It's Child's play…. To me at least." GLaDOS replied airily
" I'll definitely keep that in mind provided that it won't get me thrown in jail..."
" Nonsense. No one will know the difference I assure you. It is imperative that you keep your mind sharpened. A well-educated human is the best kind of human there is."
" What, I'm not educated enough for you?"
" I didn't say that." Chell gave her a glare. " Oh don't look at me like that. You know what I mean. It's good for you to go to school. A human mind needs stimulation. It's nothing but healthy for you to enroll yourself in a university of some form." GLaDOS lowered herself down and nudged Chell, who faltered a little bit.
" Hey!" She said with a chuckle. " Don't make me show you what I've got in my bag…" She said mock-threateningly.
" What could you possibly have in that tiny bag that could cause ME any major harm?" GLaDOS said haughtily.
" You're really gonna make me open the bag aren't you?"
" The only thing that could be in there that would make me reconsider my actions even slightly would be a series of high powered magnets… or perhaps a potato. Well, potatoes wouldn't really cause me any major harm at all, even in mass quantities. They just…unsettle me." Without another word, Chell walked over to her bag and began rooting through it. GLaDOS admitted to herself, she was just the slightest bit perturbed. What if Chell DID possess high powered magnets? Those things were capable of disrupting her brain waves so thoroughly that she would be reduced to a babbling idiot… Or perhaps it WAS a potato… an evil little spud that was somehow primed for another core transfer… GLaDOS wasn't sure she could handle that.
Suddenly, Chell found what she had been looking for in her bag. She strode confidently up to GLaDOS, something held behind her back. GLaDOS recoiled slightly, her optic bouncing about frantically. However, She could not move very far, and Chell was able to reach her easy enough. GLaDOS yelped a bit as Chell latched onto her, unable to see what she was doing. Chell backed up a bit, admiring her work. Sure enough, a large red bow was charmingly attached to one of the top edges of GLaDOS' headpiece.
" Wh-what did you put on me?" She shook her headpiece briskly. " What is this? I can't see it..." She took a moment to compose herself. " Judging by the fact that I still have all of my mental capacities… this is not a magnet on my head… Now, if you'll please explain your actions I would greatly appreciate it." Chell said nothing, only held up a hand mirror she had placed in her back pocket. GLaDOS found it difficult to see herself in the tiny mirror, but she soon noticed the bow on her head, and the brightly colored trinket sent an odd feeling through her circuits.
" A bow? Why on Earth would I have any need for something as trivial as this? " She lied… In truth, she had instantly warmed up to the simple ornament. She tried to shake off this emotion bubbling up inside of her…telling herself that she had no need for such human frivolities, but it wouldn't leave, no matter how hard she pushed it away.
" Just because. It looks cute. Don't take it off."
" If I'm not mistaken… you've tied it onto me. How can I take it off?"
" I dunno. You've got plenty of robot arms here in the floor, I'm sure you could find a way if you REALLY wanted to." Chell had a smug smirk on her face. She knew that the giant construct had no intention of taking the bow off.
" Can I see the mirror again?" GLaDOS asked. Chell was just about knocked on her rear at the polite tone the AI was using, nevertheless, she held up the mirror again, incredibly amused at the way GLaDOS excitedly positioned herself in her reflection.
" I'll remember to get a bigger mirror next time." She said with a chuckle. " Who knew. Something as simple as a bow and you're all aflutter over it." She saw a honey-colored optic peering at her over the top of the mirror.
" Who said I'm all aflutter?"
" Oh I don't know, the fact that you ASKED me for the mirror? You never ASK for anything."
" That doesn't necessarily mean anything." She said flatly. Chell wasn't convinced.
" I can get you more if you want, they come in lots of different colors." There was a pause.
" A yellow one, to match my eye…" Chell's smirk grew triumphantly wider. GLaDOS breifly considered checking herself for malfunctions…What the hell had just come out of her vocal emitters? " Ugh… What are you doing to me?" She finally said.
" I put a bow on your head. What did it look like I did?"
" You know what I mean… You know I don't like, and have no use for, these "feelings…"
" So what? You're obviously a female robot, you deserve to be decorated too… and besides, that's not what's important. What's important is it's a present." GLaDOS recognized this quip as one of her own mannerisms.
" Well then, I suppose the correct response to being presented with a gift is gratitude… So… Thank you…" The last words stumbled awkwardly out of GLaDOS' vocal emitters. It was as if she had never thanked anyone before in her life… Chell thought about it for a second, and decided that she probably hadn't. She reached up and patted the AI gently.
" No need to thank me… besides, it sounds really weird when you do."
" You think so too?" GLaDOS said with a slight chuckle.
" Anyway, anything on the agenda for tonight?"
" Well, I was rather hoping you could run some tests alongside the cooperative testing robots… that is… if I could FIND the cooperative testing robots. I can't locate them anywhere, and I'm a bit concerned by the fact that I haven't had a single mess to clean up after them all day." All of a sudden, as if they were waiting to hear it, the door to GLaDOS' chamber opened and two robots rushed inside. " Well now, my timing is still impeccable I see." The two robots stopped dead in their tracks as they noticed Chell standing there. She waved to them, and they scampered over to her.
" Hi there. You guys showed up just in time." She said, putting a hand on Atlas' head and P-body's shoulder. They chirped excitedly at her. " Man… I really wish I knew what you guys were saying."
" Yes…they have quite the habit of showing up unexpectedly…whether you want them to or not…" GLaDOS said, clearly not amused. Atlas and P-body moved over to GLaDOS, looking up at her expectantly. " What? You know there are always test chambers out there for you to solve. I don't know where you two have been all day, nor does it concern me as long as nothing is on fire or in a state of meltdown. That being said, what are you waiting for?"
Atlas gave her a comical salute and ran off out of the chamber, but P-body remained, still staring up at her and obviously puzzled by something. " Yes? Can I help you?" P-body warbled a bit and held up his three-fingered hand as if reaching for something. " I'm not participating in that ridiculous "high-five" gesture you and Atlas are so fond of. I've told you before how ridiculous it is… I don't like repeating myself." P-body made a raspberry sound, disproving GLaDOS' assumption about what he was reaching for. " Don't make me have an escort come and get you… You know I'm rarely in the mood for games." Yet another raspberry sound from P-body, and he bounced on his tiptoes a bit.
" Hey, calm down GLaDOS. I think he just wants to see your bow." Chell had been observing the situation carefully.
" Is your optic not functioning correctly?" She asked, oblivious. Chell smacked her forehead lightly with her palm.
" he wants to touch it. Lower yourself down a little." GLaDOS sighed in her usual way, but she did lower herself down to P-body's level. P-body cooed gently as he walked up to GLaDOS. he reached out his hand and began to handle the soft cloth bow as if it were going to disintegrate. he put down the portal gun he had been toting around with him, and brought up his other hand to cradle the bow. GLaDOS' optic watched the smaller robot curiously. She found it entirely peculiar how gentle and careful the robot was being, despite his normal reckless antics.
After a moment or two, a lower pitched warbling was heard, and Atlas walked back into the room searching for P-body. He called to his comrade, and made a "come here" gesture. P-body squeaked and picked up his portal gun, waving goodbye to GLaDOS and Chell as he and Atlas were gone once again.
" That was so cute…" Chell cooed. " You really need to be nicer to them."
" Preposterous. I need to be disciplinary, That's the only way newborn robots like themselves will learn anything."
" But you want them to be human, right?"
"… How did you know that? I'm positive I never told you."
" It was a hunch that you just confirmed for me." Chell laughed. GLaDOS shot her a glare.
" I don't think I like the fact that I'm starting to rub off on you… Anyway, yes, that was the goal of creating the Cooperative testing robots. I could completely phase out human testing and have two robots at my disposal that had thought processes similar to humans during testing, but without the troublesome mortality of an actual human being."
" So basically…something that thinks like a human, but could be killed over and over and reassembled without a hitch?"
" Precisely."
" That's a little cruel…don't you think?" Chell raised an eyebrow.
" Hardly. It's merely a way to preserve testing within the facility. It's all for the good of science."
" Still though, they're not going to learn how to be human if you treat them like machines."
" Mmm. I have already considered this. Which is why I think I'll task you with teaching them your ways."
" Me? You want me to teach them how to be human?"
" Who better than an actual human? And you could stand to make yourself more useful while you're down here anyway."
" Well… I guess I could do that. Gives me something to do other than run your boring tests all weekend." She hid a smirk from the giant AI, who was more than clearly put off.
" Boring! Excuse me? I can't possibly imagine how you could work up the nerve to call my test chambers boring. I'll have you know that my test creating abilities came from the greatest minds of the century. There is NO way I'm capable of creating anything less than prime testing material." She huffed indignantly. Chell only laughed.
" I know, I just like messing with you. Don't get all moody on me." She turned her back to grab her bag, and she suddenly became aware of a giant force pushing at her back. She fell to her knees, and it took her a moment to realize that GLaDOS had playfully knocked her over. In a moment of quick thinking, Chell rolled over onto her side, clutching her knee and groaning in false pain.
" Argh, what the hell GLaDOS?" She moaned. " I think My knee is broken…" She managed to force out a few fake tears. " what should I do?" The construct behind her was frozen in place, an odd wave flowing through her. She didn't push Chell THAT hard… did she?
" Oh come on. I didn't push you that hard. I'm fully confident that your knee is not broken. At the most, the friction from hitting the floor at such an angle may have given you a minor abrasion."
" I-I can't move it…" Another moan of pain. " I feel dizzy all of a sudden too…This really hurts…" GLaDOS was becoming increasingly unnerved… She didn't really mean to injure her friend… had she gone too far?"
" I-… I didn't mean to-… well, I suppose if you really are injured we should get you to the medical wing."
" Nah, it's okay. I feel better already." As if miraculously recovering, Chell jumped up and faced GLaDOS and threw her arms up in the air. " Ta-da!" There was a short pause, and she saw the large yellow optic narrow itself.
" Hilarious… You know, I don't enjoy being made to feel unnecessary guilt. At all. In fact I feel the opposite of enjoyment."
" At least I know you care." Chell stated with a grin.
" How did you manage to derive THAT from this conversation?"
" C'mon. I heard you get all upset when you thought you hurt me."
" You know, I could knock you over again, and this time, I could make sure you don't get up."
" Yeah, I know. But you wouldn't do that."
" What makes you so sure?"
" You're my friend."
" Oh. So that's what you think is it? Well…that being said, I think this is a perfect time to mention that I've kept up with this little charade for long enough now."
" What?" In an instant, fear was starting to bubble up in the back of Chell's mind and she didn't know why. She had come to trust GLaDOS immensely. She couldn't be serious… Why was Chell so suddenly panic-stricken?
" I didn't stutter. I'm beginning to grow tired of your idiotic little games. It's time to go back to the way things used to be."
" Y-you're not serious. This is a joke."
" Really? Is it a joke?" She could hear murder in GLaDOS' voice.. That same horrible, twisted tone that she had been plagued by so long ago now resurfaced… How could she have been so foolish?
She saw the great AI move back, positioning herself in an odd way. Chell's mind was screaming at her to run, but her body remained frozen in a mixture of confusion, anger, and terror.
Suddenly, like a deadly cobra, GLaDOS lunged at Chell in a powerful strike that could easily kill the girl if it hit her in the right spot. However… the cunning robot stopped not even four inches from Chell's cowering form. Chell felt the wind from the strike rush past her face, and her knees wobbled before they gave out on her. She looked up, whimpering, to find an optic staring at her, and she could've sworn that it somewhat resembled a grin.
" Look at that. The shoe's on the other foot now, isn't it?" She backed up, giving Chell her personal space back. After a moment to realize that she hadn't just been struck dead, Chell stood up on still shaky legs.
" Th-that was mean…" She finally said.
" Well now, you don't exactly enjoy tasting your own medicine now do you?" Chell walked up to GLaDOS, putting her arms around the headpiece that was almost as tall as she was. She was shaking still, and she pressed her cheek tightly against the cool metal. GLaDOS was temporarily baffled. She had acted as if the past few months had been nothing but another lie to add to the pile of little white lies she had told Chell in the past…and she responded with a hug? If anything, she had expected Chell to become angry and end their visit early… nevertheless, GLaDOS could not ignore the serenity brought to her by the warm arms around her head.
" So… Allow me to clarify this. I act as if I'm going to kill you… kill you for real this time…and your response is an embrace?" Chell shrugged, still trying to find all of her words again. " That seems a little foolish to me, considering for all you knew I could've been serious." Chell groaned, and GLaDOS felt a little pinprick of guilt, but she pushed it aside, trying to reassure her companion that she had not reverted back to her old, murderous self. " You should know that I won't hurt you on purpose anymore… I've told you countless times."
" Yeah… I know." She did not remove her cheek from the large headpiece. " It was just… you know…"
" I suppose it was a bit unsavory of me, considering the way things used to be." She raised herself up slightly, taking the girl with her. Chell watched her feet dangle as she held tight to GLaDOS. Eventually, she lifted herself up and sat on GLaDOS, settling into the curve of her body.
" I think we should be done pranking each other for the day."
" Oh. So as soon as I start to have my fun it's time to stop?" She spat jokingly. Chell was silent. " I do agree though, I don't particularly fancy the thought of you wanting to kill me again."
" Nah… I would never."
" You did though. Twice, might I add."
" Yeah, yeah. You're never gonna let me live it down, I know." GLaDOS chuckled, and Chell reached out and began stroking a clump of wires that was within her reach. At first, she had merely been subconsciously noting how smooth they felt. She ran her fingers along every individual wire, noting how intricately they were woven into the chassis she was currently sitting on. However, she almost fell off when she realized that this was extracting a positive response from GLaDOS.
" Mmm… Do feel free to continue that…" She purred.
" You can feel that?" She said, her eyebrow raised.
" Of course I can… I get kinks in my wires just like you humans get knots in your muscles… except it's far worse for me."
" How so…? I have a really hard time believing that robots should be regularly massaged."
" It's true. The slightest kink in the right wire can disrupt even my most basic functions. Once, I had one so bad I forgot how to control the lights in the facility. Luckily enough I still had control of the arms down there in the floor, so I was able to relieve the problem before it became a bigger problem… Did you know that turrets can experience something very similar to an epileptic seizure?"
" Seriously?"
" Yes… I found that out the hard way." Chell grabbed the clump of wires again, swallowing her doubts and squeezing it and rubbing it as if she were massaging a human. She heard the robot groan, and she reached for another bundle of wires.
" ...That actually feels fantastic." No one had ever taken the time to do this for her before… she was entirely certain that Chell was the only human in the world that would ever consider massaging a robot… and in this moment in time she was immensely thankful.
" What… do you want me to break out some relaxing music and scented candles for you?" Replied chell jokingly. " I can't believe I'm massaging a robot."
" I have no use for candles…" Her sentence trailed off… and she emitted another quiet groan. All of a sudden, Chell discovered a kink in one of the wires, just as GLaDOS said there might be.
" Hey… I found one."
" Hmm?"
" A kink in your wiring."
" See? I told you… can you take care of it?"
" What do I do? Just rub it out?"
" In a sense, yes… and don't be surprised if something about m-!" The high pitched scream startled Chell, but she continued to try to relieve this kink in the wiring. The wire was a lot firmer than the rest. It was pliable like a pipe cleaner, but it was at least a hundred times firmer. " oh god fix it fix it FIX IT!" GLaDOS cried frantically After another moment, Chell had straightened the wire, and GLaDOS panted for a few seconds.
" What the hell was that?" Chell asked, continuing to stroke the wires gently.
" I-I don't know… That must be one of the wires dealing with my speech processors… Now we know that." She sighed. " you could've given me a little warning you know. Who knows what might've happened? I could've gone into involuntary convulsions and thrown you off of me."
" Convulsions? That sounds pretty funny actually."
" You would think so..." All of a sudden, Chell jumped off of GLaDOS. " Leaving so soon?" She asked.
" No. I just want my lunchbox." She reached into her bag and pulled out the small, insulated box. She then walked back over to GLaDOS, looking up at her.
" What?"
" Aren't you gonna let me get back on?"
" What do I look like? Your own personal recliner?"
" Yep." GLaDOS snorted indignantly, but lowered herself down regardless. Chell climbed back on and she was raised up off the floor again. She became aware of GLaDOS twisting her neck around, and bending her head so that she could see Chell. " Well that's kinda creepy."
" What's creepy about it? Haven't you ever seen an owl?"
" Well yeah."
" It's the same principle, my neck is just as mobile." She watched Chell open a container, and she eyed it strangely. " What on earth is that? It looks like worms."
" What? I made this myself. It's pasta."
" You eat worms." GLaDOS said mockingly.
" It's not worms…"
" Worm-eater." Chell picked up a forkful and flung it at GLaDOS, who only laughed.
" I'm kidding of course, It's always nice to know a human can provide for themselves without burning anything down or making themselves ill." There was a pause. " You are going to clean that up though, right?"
" Yeah yeah, remind me before I leave. Jeez. You're so finicky."
" Finicky? No. I simply don't want festering pasta on my nice clean floor."
" Can't you clean it up yourself?"
" Certainly. But why should I have to clean up your mess?" Chell sighed.
" Okay mom." Chell said, rolling her eyes in the process.
" If by "mom" you mean someone who keeps track of your messes and makes sure that you are held accountable for them… then yes."
Chell ate the rest of the contents of her lunchbox in silence. Afterward, she jumped down and cleaned up the pasta on the floor.
" See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" Chell merely rolled her eyes again as she stuffed the empty lunchbox back into her bag. Jumping back up onto GLaDOS, she made herself comfortable. " I just love knowing I'm the perfect recliner for you… It makes my existence so much more meaningful now that I have your gigantic rear end to support."
" A fat joke again? Really?" She heard a chuckle.
" I couldn't resist. The opportunity was too good to pass up…"
As the hours rolled by, the two sat mostly in silence. Enjoying each other's company seemed to be enough for the two of them tonight, and eventually Chell drifted off into a sound slumber. GLaDOS had realized this after a while, and decided to wake her up and let her know that it was just about midnight.
" Chell…" She called quietly. " Chell…? Wake up."
" Mmm…..what? GLaDOS?"
" Yes. It's just about midnight. Isn't this when you usually leave?"
" Mmph… I s'pose it is…" GLaDOS had expected to feel the weight leave her body, but it didn't.
" Chell…?" There was a long silence. " Well… I suppose you could leave in the morning. It's smarter to travel by day anyway." She bent her head back again to catch a glimpse of the sleeping girl, who was now curled up tightly, a small smile on her face. " Goodnight… Friend."
And with that, GLaDOS returned to her busywork within the facility. Though tonight, she was just a little bit quieter about it… and every once in a while she could be heard humming a lullaby…
" Cara Bella… Cara Mia Bella…
Mia Bambina… O ciel!"
A/N: Well, that's it for the first part! I hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to click that super-colliding super review button!