"Bittersweet Homecoming"

2x5obessions challenge entry – prompt: "Back Home".

Angsty. Past fic—Nowaki is in America.

A/N: Even though we are never given a set leave date, if Nowaki returns in late May, then I'm assuming he also left in late May. And if this fic is set in…mid-July, let's say, then that's about a month and a half after Nowaki left. In my mind, at least, at this point I think Hiroki just thinks either Nowaki left him or died.

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Over the years, Kasumi had gotten used to her son coming around less and less often. During his early college years he had come home every once in a while, mostly on long weekends or school holidays; but since he'd gotten out of college that number had dwindled down to only a handful of visits a year. At first she had found it a tad irritating, but it wasn't long until she had come to a conclusion—Hiroki had a lover. Now she no longer had as much of a problem with him visiting less; however, she did have a problem with him not introducing them properly. But she was patient.

Typically, Hiroki would call to make arrangements for when he was going to visit next. So when he showed up one day out of the blue, it concerned her a little.

When she saw him walking up the driveway, Kasumi scurried out the front door to greet him on the porch. "Hiroki?" she called. "What are you doing here?"

Hiroki's hands were stuffed inside his jean pockets and his shoulders were hunched over. He didn't even lift his head to speak. "What? I can't come to visit my parents?" Kasumi noticed that his voice sounded off—fragmented, broken.

"No, no, no, Hiroki; you know you're always welcome. I just wasn't expecting you! Your father is at work…" Kasumi placed one arm around Hiroki's back as she led her son inside. Hiroki had jumped when she first touched him, but she didn't think anything of it. But now she swore she could feel him full on shivering, even though it was a warm summer day.

Kasumi didn't like this; something was wrong. She always enjoyed having her son over to visit, but not when it originated with him in pain.

After discarding his shoes in the entryway, Hiroki went into the kitchen while Kasumi prepared some green tea. "So, any specific reason you came today?" Kasumi asked, subtly trying to get Hiroki to tell her what was wrong.

Hiroki finally looked up to answer. "No, not really…" It was the first time Hiroki looked her in the eye, and Kasumi was absolutely taken aback by what she saw. Hiroki's complexion had always been fair and light with a soft, air-brushed-like pink glow; but now, his face was so ashen it may as well have been transparent. Kasumi would have asked if he had been sick recently, if it hadn't been for the look in Hiroki's eyes. Nothing could have prepared her for how dead they looked, like all the life had just been sucked right out of those russet brown orbs; leaving a hallow shell of what once was. Something was definitely wrong…

Just a few months ago, Hiroki had looked like an entirely different person. He was bright as always despite his prickly personality, and there was always that…shine in his eyes. A shine that someone had put there…

Kasumi wasn't dull. She knew the difference—the look in someone's eyes when they were in love, the change in the tone of their voice, even if they weren't around their lover—and she also knew very well that Hiroki had taken on that "transformation" quite a long time ago.

With the glow gone now, her son looked absolutely lost. Hiroki was just staring at his hands, picking his nails; and Kasumi could feel her heart breaking.

After removing the tea from the stove she walked over to the table and knelt down beside him, placing a hand over Hiroki's. "Hiroki…you know that you can tell your mother anything, right?"

Hiroki looked confused for a moment (the first expression Kasumi had seen cross his face since he had gotten there), then nodded. "Yeah…" he muttered, but said nothing else.

Kasumi licked her dry lips and tried again. "Is…is there anything you'd like to tell me?" She inquired, a little hesitant about asking him about it so directly.

"Um…" Hiroki paused for a moment, appearing to actually give the question some thought, before continuing, "Ah…that's right…I got a job as an assistant professor."

"Oh, Hiroki!" She embraced him. "That's wonderful!"

Despite his mother's enthusiasum, Hiroki's voice remained neutral. "Yeah…I start near the end of August. It's still summer break."

"Of course…oh, I'm so happy for you! My son, a professor!" She squeezed him tighter.

"Hmm…" Hiroki's gaze drifted to the far wall, and he started at it thoughtfully. He seemed so…detached and senseless. Kasumi couldn't stand it.

"Hiro-chan…" she pulled back a little to get a better look at him. "…are you sure you're alright?" Her voice was gentle, as if were balancing fine china.

Hiroki stiffened up quickly and feigned emotion. "What are you talking about? I'm fine!" Seeing Hiroki put on a fake smile was ten times worse than watching him sit there in misery. But, Hiroki was strong-willed and never wanted to tell anyone his problems or ask for help...

Kasumi sighed and patted his back. "Alright, Hiroki." Reluctantly, she stood up and tried to focus on pouring tea for the two of them.

Inside of her, this innate, motherly instinct was stirring; but the forlorn despair that Hiroki was causing made it impossible to act on. She knew very well that, if he couldn't help her…unfortunately, he couldn't help him.

So she was forced to wait. And while she waited, she prayed; I don't know what my son did to deserve this, but, whoever you are, I hope you can look past that. Please, come back to him from wherever you are; give Hiroki a second chance, and allow him to live again.

END

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In every fic that Hiroki's mother is mentioned in, I'm going to refer back to my fic Family Matters, where I (only personally) dubbed her Kasumi. (I say this mostly because, in another part of this challenge, I plan to tell the story out of Kasumi's POV again. [but this time it's a nice, happy fic.])

*Not an A/N, but…Writer's Note? *

This is a multi-fandom challenge, meaning there are two different fandoms I have to write for. I've chosen Death Note as my other fandom, however, I'm not sure if I'm going to follow through with it or not. I've scribbled down ideas as far as the prompts are concerned, but…I've never written DN before, and it makes me feel a little out of my element. Mostly because, while I originally intended for the fics to be LxLight, when I jotted down my ideas, it came out in the canon story line. (probably because my brain doesn't sit well with writing OOC) And while I'm entirely alright with writing in canon without romance, as I was stalking the DN page, it looked like almost every story had romance in it; canon or au. So it makes me nervous that no one would read the fic (the fact that the fics already posted up had like, NO reviews, didn't really help) simply because it doesn't have smut/romance in it. (PERVS! and yes, I'm being a hypocrite.)

^sorry for boring you to death…