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Sorrelfern always saw a warm light in any cat she came across. To her, no one was truly evil, maybe misguided or lost, but never evil. The light brown tabby reflected on this as she sat among a patch of heather overlooking the long, flowing golden grasses that grew like fur on the moorland. Her green eyes were clouded in the memories of bounding from branch to branch, getting tree sap and pine needles stuck to herself, the occasional scrape from a miscalculated landing. SkyClan territory was always so dense and shaded from the sun and bird song was a nearly consistent presence she was accustomed to. The moorland was nothing like her home, but she knew her home wasn't like her home anymore either. WindClan territory was open, not a tree in sight, with great swathes of grass and on occasion, Sorrelfern was able to pick out a rabbit nibbling on them. There was a constant breeze to the air that ruffled her fur and made her shiver.
She flexed her paws and continued to stare despondently across the barren, rolling hills she'd been living in for moons. Sorrelfern wanted to go home, back to SkyClan and back to him. She wanted to take her son and daughter, Boulderpaw and Clearpaw, home to give them a proper upbringing. She wanted to see him again, to look him in the eyes and ask what happened?
As a stronger gust of wind knocked into her, Sorrelfern couldn't help but wonder what went wrong. If maybe she had just tried harder, she could have surfaced that warm, bright light from him and prevented this atrocity. The way she was living now on the moor, surrounded by WindClan, ThunderClan, ShadowClan, and RiverClan cats, it wasn't the right way to live. Nothing was right anymore.
Her eyes closed slowly and her tail wrapped itself tightly around herself, making her figure appear tiny in the sea of golden grasses. When she opened her eyes again, she couldn't help but squint. The light seemed so bright all the sudden, the moorland reflecting the strong sunlight to the point where it was all consuming. The wind sounded so loud then, her fur felt scorching hot in the moment without any trees around to protect her. Everything seemed so overwhelming to Sorrelfern then and she momentarily wished StarClan would strike her down there on the open hillside so it all would stop.
But she snapped out of it, it was probably her fault that three clans fell apart. She fully believed she needed to suffer for what she allowed to happen. It all happened right before her eyes and all she did was softly encourage him.
Sorrelfern took in a deep breath, blinking again. The brightness seemed to dim once she did so. Her shoulders slumped in relief and she bowed her head in gratitude. She went back to watching the flowing grass, forcing herself to sit with her back towards her own territory. Now, rather than a rich forest, Sorrelfern only saw the moor and some twoleg structures in the far distance. In her home territory, Sorrelfern never saw anything besides trees when she was on the ground; her forest was her world, nothing else existed over there. Here though, there was no shield, everything was there and Sorrelfern felt as though she was drowning in all of it.
Drowning.
Nothing felt real anymore. She wondered if it was time to go back to SkyClan, back to him. She knew hewas waiting for her, and even if he would be angry at her for deserting him. But she would be welcomed home. Sorrelfern closed her eyes again at the thought of sleeping curled against him in the night and leaping from tree limb to tree limb during the day like how it used to be. Clearpaw and Boulderpaw could come back too and grow up with other SkyClan cats like they were meant to. Sorrelfern wouldn't have to feel the uncomfortable stir in her stomach that came with watching her kits train to become warriors alongside WindClan, ThunderClan, ShadowClan, and RiverClan apprentices.
Clearpaw could go back to being best friends with Wingpaw, and Boulderpaw could reconnect with Yellowpaw and Icepaw. Their newfound friendships with the foreign clan apprentices could fade and their loyalty to their birth-clan could be re-instilled and finalized within them. Growing up with SkyClan cats and SkyClan cats only made Sorrelfern who she was- Sorrelfern stopped her line of thought.
Would that be a good thing? If they turned out the same way?
Sorrelfern's head cleared itself of those tainted thoughts. SkyClan made her who she was, the inadvertent destroyer of what made the clans great, the one who enabled the destroyer of clan life. The last thing Boulderpaw and Clearpaw needed were to turn out anything like her.
Maybe she just needed to take her kits and leave the lake territories entirely, find them nice twolegs to live with or a new territory for the three of them to live on. Raise them herself, make the clans a distant unpleasant memory to them and to live without conflict. No pain or suffering or difficult decisions to make. Everything could finally just be easy.
Sorrelfern narrowed her eyes and flicked her tail in distain at herself again. Take her kits away? What was she thinking? She decided the open air of the moorland was making her bird-brained. Yes, something had to be done, but obviously no thought of any worth would come to Sorrelfern in the exposed hillside. The she-cat sighed, lashed her tail in frustration, and closed her eyes again.
Things were easier when the blinding light wasn't overtaking everything.
Hey guys! Yes, I'm starting a third story (I know I shouldn't!) but I swear this is the last one I'm starting, then I'm just going to very slowly work on finishing them and NOT start anymore. I'm making myself swear not to right now! So this story is actually a reboot of a story I did way back when on my super old account that I've abandoned and am trying to forget exists (middle school me was a terrible writer!) and I just keep thinking about this plot and I never finished the first version so I'm trying again here. Future chapters will of course be longer :)
Hope you all enjoy it!
~Blondie
Also, here are the disjointed-looking allegiances:
WindClan
Leader:
Lilystar – (WindClan leader) Small, lithe black she-cat with green eyes
Troutstar – (Former RiverClan leader) Ginger and white tom with amber eyes
Sandstar – (Former ShadowClan leader) Pale brown she-cat with a gray muzzle and yellow eyes
Deputy:
Breezeflight – (WindClan deputy) Light gray tabby tom with yellow eyes
Dawnstripe – (Former RiverClan deputy) Silver tabby she-cat with pale blue eyes
Darkstorm – (Former ShadowClan deputy) Dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes
Embertail – (Former ThunderClan deputy) Mottled tortoiseshell she-cat with green eyes
Medicine Cat:
Heatherfur – (WindClan medicine cat) Pale gray she-cat with light green eyes
Nightfeather (WindClan medicine cat) Black she-cat with yellow eyes
Icefoot – (Former RiverClan medicine cat) Dark gray tom with one white paw and green eyes
Reedpaw – (Former RiverClan medicine cat) Ginger she-cat with green eyes
Hawktalon – (Former ShadowClan medicine cat) Dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes
Littlepaw – (Former ThunderClan medicine cat) Light brown tabby she-cat with soft yellow eyes and white paws
Warriors:
Cindertail – (WindClan) Gray she-cat with notably fluffy tail and blue eyes
Cloudpelt – (WindClan) Large white tom with green eyes
Duskflower – (WindClan) Dark gray tabby she-cat with white paws and green eyes
Appleclaw – (WindClan) Dark ginger tom with amber eyes
Sparrowflight – (WindClan) Brown tabby tom with yellow eyes
Stoneclaw – (Formerly RiverClan) Gray tom with amber eyes
Minnowfur – (Formerly RiverClan) White and gray she-cat with green eyes
Ripplepelt – (Formerly RiverClan) Long-furred brown tabby she-cat with yellow eyes
Shadespots – (Formerly ShadowClan) White tom with gray spots and green eyes
Frostclaw – (Formerly ShadowClan) Long-furred white she-cat with green eyes
Yarrowtail – (Formerly ShadowClan) Black tom with yellow eyes
Duskheart – (Formerly ShadowClan) Light gray she-cat with white ears and green eyes
Lightningfur – (Formerly ThunderClan) Ginger tabby tom with amber eyes
Meadowpelt – (Formerly ThunderClan) Cream-colored she-cat with green eyes
Leopardclaw – (Formerly SkyClan) Tall black she-cat with amber eyes
Sorrelfern – (Formerly SkyClan) Light brown tabby she-cat with green eyes
Apprentices:
Harepaw – (WindClan) Black and white tom with yellow eyes
Berrypaw – (WindClan) Black she-cat with green eyes
Doepaw – (Formerly RiverClan) Light brown tabby she-cat with amber eyes
Mossypaw – (Formerly RiverClan) Brown tabby she-cat with white paws and green eyes
Lightpaw - (Formerly RiverClan) Light gray tabby tom with green eyes
Owlpaw - (Formerly ShadowClan) Gray and white tom with amber eyes
Mintpaw – (Formerly ThunderClan) White she-cat with yellow eyes
Leafpaw – (Formerly ThunderClan) Gray tabby tom with green eyes
Boulderpaw – (Formerly SkyClan) Bulky white tom with amber eyes
Clearpaw – (Formerly SkyClan) Light gray tabby she-cat with blue eyes
SkyClan
Leader:
Whitestar – (SkyClan) Large, scruffy white tom with one blue eye and one yellow eye; partially deaf
Deputy:
Nightsky – (SkyClan) Black she-cat with white splotches and amber eyes
Medicine Cat:
Newtspeck – (SkyClan) Scrawny grayish-brown tom with amber eyes
Jaypaw – (SkyClan) Blue-gray she-cat with white ears and green eyes
Sunnyheart – (Formerly ThunderClan) Flame-colored she-cat with a white mark on chest and green eyes
Warriors:
Mottlefur – (SkyClan) Tortoiseshell she-cat with a graying muzzle and amber eyes
Marigoldtail – (SkyClan) Golden tabby she-cat with green eyes
Beechfur – (SkyClan) Brown tabby tom with green eyes)
Lionpelt – (SkyClan) Gold and white tabby tom with yellow eyes
Seedfall – (SkyClan) Cream and white she-cat with green eyes
Stoneclaw – (SkyClan) Dark gray tom with blue eyes
Jackdawfeather – (SkyClan) Blue-gray tom with amber eyes
Reedpelt – (Formerly RiverClan) – Ginger tom with yellow eyes
Pebblenose – (Formerly RiverClan) Light gray she-cat with a very pink nose and green eyes
Kitewing – (Formerly WindClan) – Black she-cat with green eyes
Fernstripe – (Formerly ThunderClan) – Black and dark gray tom with yellow eyes
Tallstep – (Formerly ShadowClan) – Gray and white tom with green eyes
Apprentices:
Yellowpaw (SkyClan) – Dark gray tom with yellow eyes
Wingpaw (SkyClan) – Gray tabby she-cat with blue eyes
Icepaw (SkyClan) – Pale gray tom with green eyes
Rosepaw (Formerly ShadowClan) – Russet she-cat with green eyes