Between God the Devil and our very Souls
Chapter One
The Short Version in Part
Carlisle Cullen and I were best friends from the time we were two years old. We did everything together. Well everything except go to church because Rene had her own opinions about all of that. She wanted me to be able to make up my own mind about God and religion. But at seven Carlisle told me that if I didn't want to go to hell that he needed to baptize me. He was my very best friend and I didn't want to burn forever in hell with that devil guy that was red with the pointed ears and a pitchfork laughing at me while I was there. I let Carlisle put his hand on my head and he prayed and I repented and then he put me in a mud whole because that was all we had to work with. But Carlisle said that God wouldn't mind and that now we would be in heaven someday together as well.
Looking back now I'm not sure what sins I could have been washing away at seven and I chuckle about the innocence of it all. Carlisle wanted to be a preacher when he grew up just like his father. I just wanted to be with Carlisle and jump in the mud holes with him. I would have ended up understanding about God and all that when I got older. Just like whenever I turned sixteen I understood that I was in Love with Carlisle and had been from the time I was fourteen.
I never got the chance to tell him or find out if he had the same ones, although I suspected he did, when his mom and dad made a visit to my house. They informed my parents and me that they didn't want Carlisle and I together anymore. They pulled Carlisle out of school and enrolled him into a Christian school in town. He had changed rooms after that and his sister now occupied his old room. She waved sometimes. They would come and go out of the garage so that I could never see anything more than the top of Carlisle's blonde head of hair as his head was always bowed low.
I was only sixteen at the time and I couldn't understand what I had done that was so horrible that they took the only man I truly loved away from me. I beat myself up for awhile. Then I shouted for awhile. Then I decided that I had saved myself for nothing and I went wild. Then I tried to kill myself and I left Carlisle a note. That was it for my mother. After coming so close to losing me I heard she marched over to their house and demanded to be let in and demanded to see Carlisle so she could give him my note. She put it in his hand personally and stood there and watched him read every word. She said Carlisle broke down in sobs and ran to his room.
By that time we were seventeen I was still recovering and was put on some standard medication until I was eighteen. It and the counseling that I got helped me deal. I was going off to Washington State soon. I heard Carlisle was going to college in New York somewhere to become a doctor. He's going to make a great doctor with all of his compassion and faith. I was happy for him and I had accepted the fact that I was never going to be with him so I had been going on with my life. But I thought of him often and really didn't date because I just didn't want to honestly. That's what I told myself anyhow.
Right out of college I got a job teaching. I love the children and I often wonder if Carlisle and I would have had our own little Cullen's by now.
I was in a car accident year's later close to Forks and Carlisle was the doctor on call that night when fate stepped back into our lives. But we'll get to that later. I want to start a little closer to the beginning of things in more detail.
Oh by the way my name is Bella Swan and this is the story of my life time and my love for Carlisle. It consists of friendship, love, loss of love and hopefully our happily ever after. It still remains to be seen.