Shopping! The trouble begins!
A long drawn out sigh left Zelgadis' lips as he leaned back against a colomn and glanced towards the two females who had once again stopped to look at some inane object. Whatever insanity that had made him agree to join them on a trip to the mall had vanished long ago, leaving him alone, disgruntled, and at the mercy of these two madwomen. Whoever had invented shopping out to be drug out into the street and shot. Repeatedly. Of course, it didn't help that the mall was having their 'side-walk sale', each and every store having items at discounted prices that, of course, had to be fully examined by the two sorceresses.
Whatever good will he had upon undertaking this little trip of had been crushed hours ago under the weight of consumer shopping.
A squeal came from the duo then, and he sighed for the fifth time in as many minutes as he rose his gaze from his study of the scuffed tiled floor to the small crowd who had gathered in front of a display table, numerous murmurs and whispers of excitement coming from the group. His breath leaving him in an irritated huff, he pushed away from his leaning spot and approached the little mob, effortlessly slipping through the crowd until he was standing next to Lashana, who was cooing and awwing over something on the table.
She spotted him out of the corner of her eye and grinned as she nudged him with her elbow. "Zel, look. A mini Predator!"
"And a mini Alien!" Telca added, shifting some bags into her left hand before reaching out to poke one with an overlong nail, attaching herself to Lashana when it moved. "Egad! It's alive!!"
"Ack!"
Zelgadis sighed again and patiently waited for Lashana to un-glomp him. "Do you mind?"
"Eh? Oh, Sorry." Her cheeks flushing pink, the elf quickly released him, then spent a moment adjusting his cape and shirt before turning back to the table and leaning down to blink at the Predator. "It's kinda cute."
He gagged. "You have got to be kidding. You think that is cute?"
"Cuter than you," Telca muttered under her breath, ducking a smack from Lashana when the elf heard her.
Lashana would have aimed another whack had a hyperactive child not shoved his way between her and the table, his head barely reaching her waist as he hopped up and down, whining loudly. "Mommy! Mommy! I want that one!"
'That one' just happened to be the Predator, and he visibly shrank away from the overactive brat when the kid let out a scream of protest, the mother preaching to deaf ears as she tried to talk her way out of buying such an expensive 'toy'.
"Mommyyyyy!"
"Agh...." Grimacing, Lashana clamped her hands over her ears, then sent a withering glare at the child as she pushed her way past him, reached past the Pocket Indiana Jones and the T-Rex, then scooped the Pocket Predator into her right hand, sheilding it from the grubby fingers of the child. "Shopkeep! Get yer arse over here already!"
Telca, seeing that the child's attention was now torn between the elf and the Pocket Monster that she was debating over, shrugged and reached out to pick up the Pocket Alien, holding it's tail between her thumb and forefinger as she rose it off the table, then eyed it. "You promise not to chew on the furniture?" When it looked back at the child, shivered, and nodded, she smiled and added her voice to Lashana's. "Yo! Can we get some service out here?"
The child, having been denied the two things that he had wanted, merely stood there and shrieked.
Having the mentality of a child anyway, Lashana merely turned, opened her hand so he could see the Predator, and stuck out her tongue. "Nyah nyah. He's miiine!"
"Waaaaa! I WANT IT!!!"
"Never having children," Telca muttered as she shoved a wad of bills at the cashier. "Keep the change."
"Ditto," Lashana growled, her eyes narrowing when the cashier grabbed the Predator out of her hand and dumped him in a black box with air holes. Huffing, she grabbed her box, gave the child a scathing glare, then stalked out of the crowd, dragging a snickering Zelgadis along with her. "Ye Gods, I lothe children. Telca, I swear, that if I ever entertain the thought of having a child, I give you my full permission to smack me."
"Will do!" her friend said cheerfully as she tried to balance her bags, then gave up and dumped them on Zel. "Hold these for a moment, will ya?" Not waiting for him to reply, she turned her attention to her own little box with air holes, prying it open and smiling as the little Alien crawled out. "Y'know, they are kinda cute when they're small and non-life-threatening."
"I know," Lashana beamed, dumping her bag into Zel's arms before using her nails to open her own little box and peering in at the Predator. "You're not gonna try to kill me in my sleep, are you? Because I'd hate to think that I saved you from that child just to have to feed you to Telca's cat."
"You're not feeding that to my kitten! It'll make her sick!"
"Would you shut up? I can't threaten people with you hanging over my shoulder!"
"Aww, poor baby!"
Zelgadis grumbled as he ambled after him with the armload of heavy purchases, wondering how Lashana and Telca had been able to carry them without collapsing under their combined weight. By his calculations, the weight of everything should have stretched their arms until their knuckles touched the ground. "Ano... are we going home now?"
The duo paused, then glanced back at him.
"I suppose," Telca mused. "I'm pretty much done."
"Yeah," Lashana agreed with a wave of a credit card. "Wolvie's card is maxed out again."
"Thank the Gods," the chimera moaned, wincing at the duet of glares that came his way.
"Well, this way, we'll find out if they can survive living with us," Lashana smiled to Telca, gesturing to the two Pocket Monsters, who sent wary looks her way. "After all, if they can survive your driving, they can survive anything!"
"I resent that!"
"The elf's got a point though."
"Shaddup Rock-Boy!"
"Bitch."
"Alright! That's it! Here, hold him."
Lashana's eyes widened as Telca dumped the Pocket Alien in her arms and barely managed to dance out of the way as her friend moved to tackle and bludgeon Zelgadis with a blunt weapon. "Ack! Nonono! You can't!" Panicked, she interposed herself between the chimera and the other sorceress, not liking the homicidal look in Telca's eyes. "You can't hurt him. He's.... uh.... He's holding the Lord of the Rings DVDs!"
Telca paused at that, her head cocked to the side as she mentally processed that. "Good point," she said finally, much to the relief of Zelgadis. "I'll just sic Xellos on him later."
Zelgadis choked, nearly dropping the bags. "Ack.... Isn't that a little harsh?!"
"No, not really."
Shrugging, Lashana followed the other sorceress out of the mall, humming the tune to the Return of the King soundtrack as she walked, smothering a grin as she eyed Zelgadis out of the corner of her right eye. "Y'know, if you promise to help me replant the flowers near the front doors, I might order Xellos to leave you alone."
He shot her a look filled with relief and thankfulness. "Deal!"
"Where's my Alien?" Telca blurted suddenly, rounding on the elf so quickly that the other woman nearly slammed into her, but she didn't think twice of that as she plucked the Alien out of the elf's hands, then turned back to the large red king-cab ford truck that sat nearby. "Ya'll know the drill."
Lashana sweatdropped, shoulders slumping as she sighed wearily. "We put the stuff away while you start the car."
"Bingo!"
She grumbled. "Why do I put up with this? Why? I'm an Avatar, I deserve better than this. I could blow up the world, but do I get any respect, no, of course not...."
The Predator's eyes widened at the females mutterings, able to understand her language to do the universal translater that he carried. Though he was glad to be free of both the store and the screaming brat, suddenly finding himself owned by what could be a madwoman wasn't exactly making his day. The only comfort he had was that he still had his weapons, though he doubted that his shoulder cannon, spear, or wrist knives would be of any use when among these people. Still, it was better than being owned by the child. Much better.
"Ano, Lashana?" Zelgadis met her gaze as she helped him pitch the bags into the bac of the truck, then glanced at the small warrior that was crouched on her left shoulder, one hand gripping some of her hair to stay in place. "What are you going to do with a chibi Predator?"
"Y'know, I really don't know," she answered, her voice a little faraway as she scooped the warrior into her hand and eyed him curiously, smiling when she saw him returning her curious stare. "I'll figure something out. Side's it's not like he's mindless or anything. I just gotta find a way for him to go around the Palace without getting himself killed."
"At least mine can wall-crawl," Telca said smugly, chuckling at the glares that Lashana and the Predator sent at her. "Hey, it's not my fault you picked the wrong one."
"Shaddup and drive," Lashana growled, shoving Zelgadis into the front passenger seat while she took the back, sighing happily as she threw herself down onto her back, sprawling across the seat. "Home Jeeves."
"I'd be nicer if I were you," Telca warned. "Else I'll lean my seat back and bash you in the head with it."
"Ech, point taken."
"You two are insane," Zelgadis muttered, very aware that he was stating the obvious but not caring.
It was Telca that replied first, her voice immitaing that of a valley girl as she started the truck and kicked it into drive. "Like, duh."
Chuckling, Lashana braced her feet against the door and punched a fist into the air. "Onwards!" Her chuckle turned into a full fledged cackle as Telca peeled out of the parking lot, ploughing over a stop sign and monster-trucking over a cement divider in her impatience to get onto the highway.
While Zelgadis had buckled himself in by wrapping the seat-belt around himself and the chair a good dozen times, she sat freely in the back, content to merely brace herself against the bucking of the truck as she propped herself on an elbow and regarded the chibi Predator. "We gotta get you a name," she mused.
"I'm callin' mine, Fred," Telca announced as she turned in her seat to look at the elf, ignoring Zel's screams as he scrambled to free his hands to grab the steering wheel and control the truck.
"Fred? You're naming an Alien, Fred? Oh Telca, that's low, even for you."
"What? It's a good name. Isn't it?" She smiled at the Alien, who sulked and hissed at her. "It's either Fred or Barbie. Nod once for Fred, two for Barbie." When it shivered and nodded once, she grinned and looked at Lashana. "See? He likes it."
"That's just evil," the elf muttered, turning to look at the Predator. "Luckily for you that I have better taste in names."
"Oh, yeah, suuure. Like Whore, the little white runt?"
"His name is Akhor!" Lashana snarled. "And he's not a runt! Battleaxe!"
"Slut!"
"Bitch!"
"Skank!"
"Rogue!"
"Oh, that does it!"
As Telca lunged for Lashana's throat, Zelgadis loosed a high pitched scream and, since his hands were tangled in his seatbelt, leaned over and used his teeth to turn the wheel, saving them from a head-on collision with an eighteen wheeler. "Will you two shut up and HELP ME?!"
Telca looked up from strangling the elf and blinked at the cars that were coming towards them, quirking an eyebrow when she saw the Alien hanging from the rearview mirror. "Oh."
"Whatdya mean, 'oh'?!" Lashana yelled as she shoved Telca back into the drivers seat. "Drive the damned truck you psycho!"
"Eww! He drooled all over the steering wheel!"
"Will you just drive?!"
"I think you should name him Fluffy. It's a good name, Fluffy."
This time it was both Lashana and Zelgadis that yelled at her. "DRIVE!"
"Yeah, yeah. Yeesh."
Muttering curses under her breath, Lashana leaned back against the seat and rubbed at her throat for a moment before she turned to look at the Predator, who had attached himself to the back of the seat when the fighting had started. "I just thought of something--"
"There's a first," Telca grumbled.
This time, Lashana chose to ignore her, her attention resting soley on the tiny Predator. "Can you talk? Do you already have a name?"
He blinked at her in surprise, not expecting that. His previous owner hadn't even thought him intelligent, and yet this odd female.... He wondered if the universal translater would work both ways. "It's Vk'leita."
Lashana frowned. "What? Say that again. Vk...."
Obviously the translater was only one-way. "Vic-lee-tah."
"Vk'leita. Is that right?" When he nodded, she rose a hand and tapped a fingernail against her chin. "Why does that sound so familiar?"
Telca swerved around a car and veered around another truck. "Hang on!" she yelled as she cut across five lanes of honking traffic, ignoring Zelgadis' screams and Lashana's muffled curse as the elf lost her balance and slammed into the side of the cab. "I told you to hold on."
"I know. I know...." Groaning, the elf rubbed at the new bump on her head, then looked around for the Predator, grimacing when she reached down and picked him off the floor of the truck, lifting him up so that he was standing next to the headrest of the drivers chair, seeing him sink his wristblades into the headrest to give himself added support. "Are we there yet?"
"Yup! Home sweet home!"
"Oh thank the gods," Zel sighed as the burgundy haired sorceress turned onto the long driveway to the Palace, starting to try to untangle himself from the seatbelt. 'Try' was the proper term however, for sometime during the drive, he had managed to completely tangle himself up in the belt, his hands pinned against his chest. "Uh, help?"
As Telca parked the truck, Lashana leaned forward and ripped the seatbelt off of him, smiling at his shocked expression as she handed him the mess of belt. "Here ya go."
"Sometimes you frighten me," he muttered as he climbed out of the truck, shaking his head when the two women cackled softly.
"Only sometimes? Damn, I'm loosing my edge." Grinning ferally, the elf scooped the chibi Predator into her left hand, then kicked open one of the doors, humming as she hopped out then shoved the door closed with her hip.
"Lashana-chaaaaan!"
"Ech!" With a yelp, she dodged the flying tackle from Xellos, turning back to watch as he slammed face-first into the side of the truck, stuck here for a moment, then slid to the ground with a contented sigh. "Hi Xel."
"You always do so well with the nutjobs," Telca commented with a smile as she went to grab some of the bags, the Alien comfortably perched on the top of her head, it's tail arched up so the point was weaving back and forth over it's head.
Ignoring the jab, Lashana merely boosted Vk'leita up to her shoulder, then grabbed the rest of the bags and headed for the front doors, thanking Zelgadis when he opened the door for her. More than content to leave Telca to get whatever she hadn't been able to carry, she left her bags in the Main Hall, then headed for the kitchen, sighing tiredly as she deposited Vk'leita on the island counter before going in search of the instant coffee and an Ovation stick mint.
Just as she had finished boiling the water, the sound of a teleport and a cloud of brimstone sent her into a fit of coughing, and she frowned as she waved the soot away from herself, turning watery eyes to look at the youngest of the males who lived in the Harem, the teenage Nightcrawler, who sent her an apologetic look as she tried to muffle her coughs.
"Hi Elfy," he smiled, ignoring the look she was giving him as he ducked around her and quickly grabbed a soda from the fridge, quickly slamming the door shut before the Things that lived in it crawled loose. "So, anything good on sale?"
"Tons. The mall's having it's sidewalk sale. Got you a new Xbox game."
"Ja?!" When she nodded, he grinned excitedly and looked around for the bags. "Cool! Where is it?!"
"In the Main Ha--" She cut herself off when he vanished in another cloud of brimstone, then shrugged and finished fixing her coffee, humming in pleasure as she sipped at the dark liquid. After a few more sips, she looked over at Vk'leita and tilted her head. "You hungry? There's some steak I could reheat...."
The rest of her sentence was drowned out by the explosion from the backyard, and it was pure instinct that made her drop to the floor, barely avoiding the high speed frizbee that shot through the glass patio doors and embedded itself into the far wall of the kitchen. Eyes wide and heart pounding, she slowly staggered to her feet, glancing from the frizbee to the doors a few times before she smoothed her hair back and, ignoring the shocked look from Vk'leita, shoved the sliding door open and glared at the group of males that were halfway up the deck stairs.
"Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!" she yelled, her glare moving from Kang, to Wolverine, Remy and Duncan, then finally to Blackwargreymon, who looked stricken by her sudden appearance. "That damned frizbee damn near took my head off! What the hell are you idiots doing out here?!"
"Well, uh...." Kang's scales clicked at the glare she leveled at him, his wings twitching with his rising nervousness. "See, it's more challenging if we put a bit more power behind the throw...."
"With what?" she frowned. "A Fireball?" When the draconian ducked his head in a nod, she threw her hands up into the air in exasperation. "I give up. I give up! You're all nuts. Every last one of you."
The guys turned to Blackwargreymon as the elf whirled and stomped back into the Palace. "Your turn, romeo," Wolverine smirked. "Inta the fryin' pan wit ya."
"Thanks," he growled, pushing past them to head after his Bonded. "Lashana, wait. Please? Are you okay?"
In response, she planted a fist on her hip, then pointed at the frizbee stuck in the wall, eliciting a wince from him as she gave him her best 'what the hell do you think?!' look.
"Okay. Okay, I can understand that--"
"You can understand that? Well good!" she drawled, eyes narrowed. "Then I'm sure you won't mind ripping that thing out of the wall, plastering the hole shut, and repainting everything! And you can get your Merry Wacko Sidekicks to help out!"
Drawn by the familiar sound of screaming, Telca poked her head into the kitchen, eyeing the neon green frizbee that was embedded into the wall. "Hm. This is new. Let me guess." Folding her arms over her chest, she walked into the room, gazed from the gathered males - pausing to wink at Remy - then looked at the irritated Lashana, vaugely aware that the Alien had leapt from her head to the island countertop. "Fireball boosted frizbee through the patio door?"
"How the hell do you know that?" Lashana blurted in surprise.
Telca shrugged. "Sounds like something they would do."
The anger drained from her at that. "Yeah," she muttered with a chuckle. "It does, doesn't it?"
"Hey neat," Duncan grinned, leaning over the two Pocket Creatures. "These are so lifelike! Where'd you get them?"
The two sorceresses exchanged knowing looks. "Some place at the mall."
"They're really well made!"
The corner of Lashana's mouth quirked, and she bit her lower lip in a bid to keep herself from laughing as she glanced at Telca again, then looked at the small green form that flew into the kitchen. "Korin!" Predator forgotten for the moment, she smiled and rose her right arm, waiting until the cat-sized green dragon had landed before chucking him under his chin and reaching up to scratch behind his horns. "Hey, littling. Where are your brothers?"
::Kalamadea's watching TV with Zelgadis and Mewtwo.:: The smooth cool voice resonated in her mind as he cocked his head at her, ruby red eyes gleaming with mischief. ::Akhor's sleeping in Malcho's room.::
Is he? Again? She shook her head, then pulled him into the crook of her arm, cradling him there as she returned her attention to the guys who had gathered around the counter, their own attentions locked on the 'lifelike' Alien and Predator.
"It doesn't even feel like plastic."
"Damn, they really do look lifelike, don't they?"
"Hey look. It's fully posable!"
"How neat is this?"
"Didn't know y'all were inta dolls."
"They're action figures."
"Y'uh huh. Sure thing, bub."
"For once, I'm wit you on dis, Wolverine. Dey're dolls."
"Action. Figures."
"Hey wait, did that Predator just move?"
"I don't--"
"AHH!! It's ALIVE!! It bit me!!"
Telca dissolved into laughter at the sight of Duncan glomping Kang, the draconian staggering backwards in shock and tripping over his own feet, sending the duo crashing to the floor. As she watched, Wolverine extended a metal claw and poked the Predator in the chest with the smooth curve of it, grunting when the Pred knocked it away with his spear.
"Ya knew about this, didn't ya?" the feral accused, turning to look at a the giggling sorceresses and sighing when Lashana nodded. "An ya didn't feel like tellin' us 'cause?"
"It was funny!" Telca grinned as she walked forward and patted the Alien on it's head before tickling it's belly. "I named him, Fred."
"Fred." Remy glanced at Wolverine, then shrugged. "Good for you, chere. Uh, where'd you find dem?"
"The mall," she smiled, vaguely aware that Duncan and Kang were now peering over her shoulders at the two chibi creatures. "Saved Fred, and the Pred there from some grubby little brat."
"So it was a pity buy," Wolverine guessed, loosing a yell when the Pred's shoulder cannon shot off a blast at him, singing his hair. "Hey! Watch it pipsqueak!"
"His name's Vk'leita," Lashana told him as she went to sit on one of the stools, letting Korin hop from her arm to the counter top as she eyed the Predator.
Blackwargreymon blinked. "Vic what?"
"Vk'leita."
"Lemme guess. Ya named him, didn't ya darlin'."
"No, Wolverine. I did not name him," she growled, shooting a glare at him. "He told me his name."
Remy and Wolverine exchanged dubious looks. "Uh huh," the feral muttered. "Sure thin', darlin'."
"Don't make me sic Xellos on you." Satisfied that he had been suitibly warned, the elf turned back to Vk'leita and shifted so she could rest her chin on a fist. "Ground rules. No Hunting of the dragons or the cat. And don't go in the fridge. Just.... just don't."
"Same goes for you," Telca said to Fred. "If either of you hurts my cat you will not like what I do to you."
Curious, Korin crouched down to his belly and eyed the mini Predator, noting the mirad of weapons as he lashed his tail, venting a bit of his nervousness. ::Vk'leita, huh?:: he telepathed, seeing the Hunter jerk a little in surprise. ::My name's, Korin. You want a tour of the Palace?::
"Just stay away from, Xellos," Lashana warned, smirking as Korin shifted and let Vk'leita use his left foreleg as a step up, boosting the Predator up until the Hunter was sitting on the dragon's shoulders. "And don't do those thrice damned mid-air barrel rolls."
Korin snorted and rolled his eyes. ::Yes, mother. Yeesh.:: Flicking his tail, he rose to his full height and spread his wings, stretching them for a moment before jumping off the counter, wings moving in the crucial downbeat before he soared out of the kitchen.
"Uh, Lashana? Do you really think it's a good idea to pair the Pred with Korin?" Blackwargreymon asked, very aware of the green dragon's mischivous and troublemaking nature. "I mean, won't he, y'know, corrupt the Pred?"
"Nah. Besides, I need someone to look after the little guy while I go through all my Predator comics and books. The name Vk'leita is really familiar somehow...."
"I still think you're nuts," Telca shrugged as she tickled Fred under his chin, cooing to him playfully.
"You're really not the one to talk," Kang muttered, blinking when Lashana turned a glare onto him. "What?"
"You're not one to talk either, Mr. Let's-shoot-a-high-speed-frizbee-through-the-patio-doors."
"Hey! That was an accident!"
Blackwargreymon winced and leaned towards the draconian. "Don't fight with her on this. She's already making us fix the wall. Don't piss her off to the point where we have to renovate the entire kitchen."
The draconian grimaced and nodded. "Good point."
"I heard that," Lashana grumbled as she stood and headed for the door, pausing to look at the two males over her shoulder. "Elven hearing, remember?"
Telca chuckled. "Busted."
Duncan snickered at the looks on the two males faces and leaned back against a wall, content to watch the mayhem as it unfolded. He knew well enough not to get on Lashana or Telca's bad sides, and the frizbee fiasco was just the train wreak needed to tick at least one of them off. On the other hand, he had been part of that fiasco, and after having lived in the Harem for over two years, self-preservation had been something that he had quickly adopted. "I'm gonna go watch TV with Zel."
"Chickenshit," Wolverine muttered sourly, folding his arms over his chest as he glared at the Immortal, who smirked and waved as he left the room.
"Now, now, children," Telca scolded teasingly as she scooped Fred into her hands. "Behave."
"I'm headin' to the library," Lashana said finally, pausing to grab a bag of 'Italiano' Doritos and a soda before heading for the stairs, chuckling under her breath when she saw Telca's cat, Mischief, bolt out of the livingroom, barely avoiding the thrown VCR remote and the TV guide. The elf had termed the creature a 'demon cat' from the moment it had been brought into the Palace. It, like Telca, adored causing trouble like there was no tomorrow. And, also like her mistress, the cat could get away with anything because no one was brave enough to confront Telca about her cat's actions.
Shaking her head, she headed up the stairs, lightly trailing her fingers on the polished railing on her way up, glad that she was in shape as she headed for the third floor of the Palace, wanting to get to the quiet sanctuary of the Library so she could relax and research in peace. Granted, her 'research' was going to consist of reading through three 'Alien vs Predator' books and a horde of comics, but hey, it was still research.... of a sort. It was her sort of research. Fun, easy and of the non-scholarly sort.
The Library, when she finally reached it, wasn't as empty as she had hoped, but, at least, if she could have chosen her company, it would have been the one who was already there. Kenshin. The only quiet, respectable male in the Palace.
He looked up from his book as she walked into the large room, his welcoming smile making his eyes glitter with life as he stood. "Konnichiwa, Lashana-dono."
"Heyla, Kenshin." Just talking to him helped to ease the tension that had been building in her shoulders. "Don't get up. I'm just here to find a quiet corner and read."
He quirked an eyebrow at her as he plunked down onto the couch again, his reverse-blade sword laid out on the cushions next to him. She had never seen him without his sword nearby, but granted, his life was tied to that sword. Tied to his vow to use his sword to protect in order to atone for his past, a past in which he had been known as the battousai, the manslayer. A killer of hundreds. Such a huge change he had made, and she respected him even more for it.
"More research?" he asked curiously.
"Eh, kinda. I'm trying to find out where I've heard a name before. Lucky for me, rather than those damned spellbooks and tomes, I get to go through comic books." She grinned and winked at him. "My kinda research, don't'ja think?"
He laughed. "Hai. You'll certainly have a better time of it, that you will."
"That's what I thought too," she chuckled.
"Anyway, you go back to your book, Ken-chan. I'll be just be over here.
Oh, by the way, there's a chibi Predator and Alien running around, so watch
where you step, ne?"
TBC