"Draco."

"Astoria."

"How was your day?"

"Fantastic! I met the loveliest hobo today!" Draco was very excited.

"Oh…kay?" Astoria was confused.

"His name is Greg, and he lives on the corner of 5th and Nokomis Street!" Draco paused. "How was your day?

"Okay. I had dinner with Hermione, Ron, and Harry then went to the doctor."

"Wonderful! How are they? What did the doctor say?"

"Good. He said," Astoria burst into tears. "He said that I was pregnant. But I miscarried without knowing that I was pregnant!"

Draco's jaw dropped. Astoria continued cried.

"What do we do now?"

"I… I don't know!" He was silent for a moment. "We get a puppy!"

"Don't you remember? I'm allergic to animals!" Astoria yelled.

"NO I DON'T REMEMBER, OR ELSE I WOULDN'T HAVE SUGGESTED IT!" Draco yelled back.

With a frustrated 'ugh!' Astoria apparated to the bedroom.

"DON'T YOU APPARATE AWAY FROM ME!" He yelled towards the general direction of the bedroom.

"WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?"

"I'M GONNA GET A GOLDFISH!"

"I HATE YOU! I WANT A DIVORCE!"

"…I…I can get you a goldfish."

"I WANT A DIVORCE! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?"

"I…I… I DON'T KNOW! ALL I WANT IS A BLOODY GOLDFISH!" Draco started to sob. This was too much for him.

Astoria apparated back into the living room.

"Do you want me to stay at all?" She asked quietly, as a few tears slid down her face.

"Well of course I do!" Then he added in a whisper, "I just…Really want a goldfish."

Astoria was getting angry again.

"What do you care about more? Me, or the goldfish!"

Draco snorted. "Obviously you!"

"Really?" Astoria's voice was very quiet. Draco had to strain his ears to hear her. "I…I thought you didn't love me anymore."

"Of course I love you!"

"I really thought you didn't."

"No! I will always love you no matter what!" He walked over to her and gave her a hug. Astoria put her head on his shoulder and cried into his shirt.

"It's okay, we'll get through this." He led her over to the couch and gently sat her down. "What will make you feel better?"

Astoria wailed, "I don't know!" And started crying harder.

Draco smiled very big. "What about a goldfish?"

"Will you SHUT UP about the stupid goldfish? Your wife is sitting here crying and all you care about is a GOLDFISH!" She pulled away from him.

Draco huffed. "I'm trying to help! I know that goldfish always make me feel better when I'm sad!"

"Whatever."

"Fine!" He stood up. "If you want to mope, mope. But I am going to go to the park and push children on the swings! You are welcome to join me."

Astoria apparated again, this time to the bathroom. Draco could hear her crying.

"…I'll take that as a no, then." He mumbled to himself. Then he yelled, "I'll be at the park!"

…Nothing.

Draco apparated to the nearest park and pushed the children on the swings. About an hour later, he apparated back home.

He yelled out, "I'm home!"

"I don't care!" Followed by more crying.

"Would you like a delicious Redvine?"

Astoria looked up. "REDVINES!" She pounced on Draco.

He handed her a Redvine. "Redvines. What the spell can't they do!"

Astoria smiled as she took her Redvine. "Is it normal that I'm strangely turned on right now?"

Draco shook his head. "Oh, no. That's completely normal! Redvines have that effect on people."

Astoria reached up and kissed Draco with lots of enthusiasm, to which he responded with equal enthusiasm.

And they ate Redvines and lived happily ever after, The End!