Merely the Brutal Truth
By: Lady Arre
Chapter One
Authors Note: well everyone seemed to love 'Puddleducks' so much so I decided to write a companion piece. It'll actually tell you how they got together in the first place rather than just hint at it. If you haven't read puddleducks don't worry this story is not dependant on it. but apparently puddleducks is a good read anyway.
Brutal Truth I: My name is Oliver Hamish Wood.
But Kates calls me Obbila Puddleduck sometimes,obbila because when she was little she couldn't say Oliver and it kinda just Stuck. Andshe calls me Puddleduck because of some game that we played when we were kids. She was only three so I don't think she remembers all that well but she still calls me that anyway. It's a long story. Fred calls me Woodsykins or Ollywood, or to be honest whatever comes in his head. I worry a bit about that actually there are a great many things wrong with the inside of that boys head. His twin brother George has recently taken to calling me 'oh captain my captain, thou brute of a thing" and that's really getting rather annoying. The professors all call me Mr Wood. Its quite funny really. Because when my dads around we both look. My dads names Hamish and he and I are close because my mum died when I was nine so we only have each other. Everyone else calls me Oliver or just Wood. And Ange and Alicia call me loggerhead when I'm doing anything stupid, which is also funny because I'm two years older than them.
Personally I think I should have been called stupid. Or loser. Or insane, delirius, messed-up, idiot, loser, moron… well you get the idea. Why? Because I fit every single one of them. Remember I mentioned Kates? Well Katie's my best mate; we have been since we were kids. Her dad and my dad were best mates in school and still are now. Katie, her brother Thomas and I all share a birthday which is really weird. June 4th, a great day, we always have massive parties with everyone there. Thomas is three years older than me and I'm three years older than Kates.
The thing is though that even though she's only fourteen I'm starting to see her as more than my best mate or as a joined-at-the-hip-attachment-sorta-thing.
Like today right we were just sitting on the sofa in front of the fireplace and Kates was writing a letter to Thomas and half watching he twins play exploding snap. I was sitting next to her with her legs curled up under mine and all I could think about was how nice it would be to kiss her. Need I remind you that I'm seventeen and she's fourteen? She shouldn't be kissing anyone! Especially not seventeen year olds!
Merlin I'm messed up right now- think I might go play quidditch with myself.
Brutal truth II: I am buying Katie a new wardrobe.
I can't believe Davies! The Ravenclaw team captain is six months older than me and he was openly checking Katie out! That's disgusting! He's way too old for her.
It's bad enough that I do it but I'm way too protective of her to do anything but daydream. (Not that I have been mind you.) I won't let any bloke touch her! And that's not because I'm possessive it's because I am protective of my best friend and boys like Davies are just sleazes and can't handle a great girls like Kates.
Though admittedly I can't blame him all that much she did look good tonight and that shirt she wore? You'd think she wanted guys like him to pay attention to her! It was..sooooo…..low.
And no fourteen year old should be stacked like that.
I am never ever going to let her wear that shirt again. And I'm taking her shopping as soon as I can I'll buy the girl some clothes that won't make sleazes like roger Davies come chasing after her like hungry dogs. Besides it's bad for the Gryffindor quidditch teams reputation. She's not going to wear that shirt again.
Unless it's just the two of us…
NO! Bad Oliver! Stop thinking that, you need to lock your self up. Handcuff yourself in your dorm or something.
…
I like that idea actually
Bad Oliver! Doesn't work, can't, shan't, won't, JUST NO!
I need help! Where the hell is Thomas when you need him to throw a bludger at you head?
Brutal Truth III: The whole Weasley Family should be locked up.
I came down to breakfast this morning listening to George Weasley serenading me with "oh captain, My captain thou brute of a thing, stop being so stupid and just let her win? She loves you she love you and hell she always will so stop being stupid and go in for the kill" no idea who it was about but George can't sing at anytime in the day, let alone when I've only got out of bed twenty minutes ago and haven't had enough sleep because I keep thinking about a certain thirteen year old. If that wasn't bad enough Katie turned up just after George's fifth attempt and told me off for throwing jam in his face.
And you know what Fred did then? HE WAS HITTING ON HER!
I'm gonna have a heart attack. That lowlevel redhead scum checking Kates out! That isn't allowed. I'm going to have serious words with him.
And if breakfast wasn't bad enough when I got back into my dorm at lunch, expecting everything to be where it should be… on the floor, or slung over the shower curtain rod. Percy Weasley has cleaned everything up. All my clothes have been washed, and folded. They're sitting on my bed… which he made… my quidditch gear is all set up perfectly, the bloody fool even IRONED my quidditch uniform! The shame! The pack of bertie botts that I opened last night at about midnight and left on the floor next to my bed are no longer there. I'm feeling violated. I need a nice healthy dose of sugar and someone stole my bertie botts! I open the top part of my trunk reaching for another pack and find that Percy put my jellybeans in a glass jar and wrote on it: 'for lollies once their out of their packets, keep them off the floor wood!'
This is insane. Can't a man make a nice healthy masculine mess these days its like being married Percy is such a nag.
I empty the jar shovel half of it in and smoosh the rest in Percy's bed. Serves him right I caught him looking at Katie today too.
I really really hate the Weasleys.
Brutal truth IV: Gonna kill Marcus Flint. And Davies.
Twice, just for kicks Flint was actually trying to feel her up this evening. But he's such a coward I just kind of wandered over and growled at him and he pulled his smirky little expression and says to me "Oh sorry Wood forgot that this is your underage witch!"
So proud of Katie then- the little tiger kneed him where it hurts. "Back off flint, or there'll be more like that coming" she growled.
I hate Flint.
But not as much as Davies.
"Why do I seem to have all the quidditch captains wrapped around my finger, except the cute one?" Katie whinged to me later after I had congratulated her again for putting Flint in his place.
"Wha…?" I reply. That caught me off my guard that did.
"Roger Davies, he's such catch isn't he?"
I just stared dumbly at her at this point.
"Hey I got an idea you could talk to him for me, tell how wonderful I am you know"
Oh Katie, you are wonderful. Too wonderful for him though and the sooner you see that the better.
You bet I'm going to talk to Roger Davies. And there probably won't be much left of him when I've finished.
Authors note: yep please review; I like reviews more than Oliver likes jelly beans! So please review and tell me what you think.
(And longer reviews make me update faster just a hint)
Disclaimer: it's not mine. Its all jk rowlings. Though any spare Oliver Woods I will happily take responsibility for!
This story is specially for: my dearest friends
Ash:who is wonderful and put me on her profile
Giddyupgal: who can most of the responsibility for getting me into Oliver/Katie shipping
And
Mostly
TooSweet4Words: because I promised too, because she's been talking to me today and has reviewed like all my stories.
And of course everyone who read puddleducks and reviewed to tell me they loved it!