Hey guys. It's Momey. Yeah, you know that. Anyway, I'm just gonna do this one-shot because a year ago, Shinigamilover2 (you might've heard of him) wanted me to do a story about Deadpool and the Ice Age characters. And yeh. Ya know what? I'm just gonna shut up and let you guys read.
I don't own Ice Age. Do we have to put this at the beginning and end of every chapter of every story? It's annoying.
It was just a typicle day on the island the herd was living on. It had been about a year since the herd began living on the island. And thanks to Louis, they were free from Captain Gutt and his crew. They all thought the captain was dead, but they weren't ready for their next adventure. But right now, things were just peaceful. Birds were chirping, and bee were buzzing. And everything was just peaceful.
"But Dad, it's not gonna be dangerous. Please? Can I go?"
Well, not too peaceful. Peaches was trying to get her father to let her to to a party with a bunch of the teens on the island.
"Anyhow many of you guys are going to be there?"
Manny asked. Peaches looked down to the ground. She really didn't know how many other people were going to be there. So she went with her next option.
"Louis is going too."
Peaches said as she looked up at her father.
"Does that change your mind?"
Manny looked at his daughter and smiled warmly.
"Peaches, I love you. But I don't want you to get into any trouble and get her, or worce, dead."
Peaches sighed.
"Dad, no ones gonna die. It's just a party with a bunch of us teens."
Just as Manny was about to answer, the two mammoths heard a rustling in the bushes. Manny looked in the direction of the bushes, ready to attack. A few seconds later, a tiny molehog walked out from the bushes and looked up at the two mammoths. Peaches looked down at him.
"Louis, tell him. The party' snot going to be dangerous."
Louis looked up at Manny with a little fear in his eyes.
"The party's not dangerous sir."
Manny looked at the teens.
"Louis, let me speak to your mother."
"No need to. I already did."
A female voice sounded from the bushes that Louis came from. The three turned to see Shira coming out from the bushes.
"Aunt Shira!"
"What did my mom say?"
Louis asked. Shira smiled.
"Your mom said it was okay. Manny, I think you should let her go."
Shira said. Manny thought about it for a few minutes. He turned to Shira.
"I'm gonna let her go, but if anything happens to my little girl, you'll be paying."
Shira nodded.
"Whatever."
Shira said as she walked away. Manny looked at the two teens.
"I'm gonna let you go. But you have to be back an hour after sundown. If I'm asleep, you wake me up. No bringing any guests home. Got it?"
Peaches nodded.
"Got it."
...
As Peaches was getting ready for her party, someone else was getting ready for a night of relaxation.
"Okay. Got my new beanbag chair, popcorn, and a bunch of movies. Now the hard part, picking out the right movie. Maybe you guys could help me."
This person's name was Deadpool. He looked at the different movies in his hands. He looked through the movie choices. He finally picked out a movie and looked at it.
"You guys think I should watch this? Let's see if this is any good."
Deadpool puts the rest of the movies down on a nearby table and put the chosen movie in the DVD player.
"Wait! I forgot the most important thing. Pizza."
Deadpool picked up the phone and called the nearby Pizza Hut.
"Alright. Time to relax."
Deadpool sat on his beanbag chair and began watching him movie.
...
Meanwhile, in another part of the Ice Age. A bird flew down and rested on the shoulder of an ape.
"Captain, that mammoth let his daughter go to the party."
The captain looked at the bird.
"Excellent, absolutely excellent. Revenge is sweet."
...
Peaches andlouis were partying with the other teens. It was getting late. Peaches was suppose to be home a half hour ago. But a few of the teens hand convinced her to try some alcoholic drink. Louis had already seen what the drink does. He didn't have any.
"Uh Peaches, shouldn't we get going?"
Peaches wasn't paying attention to her tiny friend.
"Oh c'mon Louis. Live a little. You're only a teen once."
"And you're only alive once. Peaches, I really think we should go. C'mon!"
Louis shouted. But nothing was getting through to Peaches. Before Louis said anything, someone started screaming fire. And sure enough, fire was all around the partying teens. They began running and screaming. Chaos and fear was all around.
"This is ax actually what I was talking about, hen I said that we should just go home!"
Louis shouted. Peaches wasn't really listening. Her mind was in a state of panick.
"What do we do?! Where do we go?!"
She shouted to Louis, Louis just shrugged.
"Dunno. Maybe we should've just went home when I told you to!"
Louis shouted back.
"Louis, there's no time for this! We have to get out of here!"
The two teens began running in any random direction, not really knowing where they were going. A wall of fire shot up in front of them. Louis and Peaches looked around for another escape. But there was none.
"Crap! Now what?!"
Louis shouted to Peaches. Peaches looked around.
"I don't know."
"Perhaps I could lend a hand."
A voice sounded from behind them. The teens turned around to see an ape behind them. Peaches was still drunk, so she couldn't really register who it was.
"Okay."
Peaches and Louis began coughing. The smoke was getting to them. They began following the ape to what they thought was safety. A few minutes later, they came to a boat. Louis gulped when he saw the group of animals on the boat.
"Uh Peaches, I don't think this is safety."
Peaches looked around.
"I think your right."
...
Manny was looking around for his daughter.
"Peaches! Peaches! Where are you?!"
Diego walked up to Manny.
"There was a fire at the party she was at. She's not there."
Manny sighed.
"Damn that Shira. She didn't talk to Louis's mother. She put my daughter in danger."
"Oi mate. If it's ya' doughtah' ya' wan'ta' find, ya' bes' be followen' me."
The mammoth and saber turned to see a kangaroo standing behind them.
"You know where my daughter is?"
Manny said. Diego looked at the kangeoo with suspicion in his eyes.
"She looks and sounds really familiar..."
Diego thought to himself.
"Manny, I don't think we should-"
Before Diego could finish his sentence, something hit both of them on the back of the head.
"Too easy."
A rabbit said as he hopped down from a tree.
"Got tha'righ' mate."
The two creatures dragged the bodies to their captain.
...
When they got back to the ship, they saw the rest of the herd was being tied up. They dragged Diego and Manny over to the rest and tied them up as well. When the captain saw them, he smiled.
"Very good my crew. Very good."
The rest of the grew and their captain laughed evilly as they rubbed their hands sinisterly.
...
Meanwhile, Deadpool was tatching his movies when an alert came on his TV screen.
"Aw come on! Right at the good part. How many of you think that's annoying? All of you? Yeah, thought so. Now what's this alert about?"
Deadpool began reading the alert. When he was done, he just stood there.
"Okay then. That's weird. A herd of animals? Sounds ridiculous. Maybe it's nothing."
He said as he rent back to his movies.
...
When Peaches, Louis, Diego, and Manny woke up, they saw that they were in a cell like cage room.
"Huh. What the hell?"
Diego said as he tried to get up. He looked around.
"Manny."
Manny looked up at Diego.
"Uncle Diego!"
"Peaches?"
Diego asked. Peaches nodded.
"Where's your father."
"Right here. Louis is here too."
Diego looked around, and sure enough, Louis was sitting right next to Peaches.
"The rest of the herd is here too."
Manny said.
"Ah splendid. You're awake."
The group heard a voice behind them. They turned to see an spe standing behind them.
"Gutt!"
They all shouted.
"I knew that kangaroo looked familiar!"
"Oi mate. Glad ya' do remembah' me."
The kangaroo said.
"And it's all thanks to your little Kitten."
"Wait, you mean-"
"Thas'righ'mate. Ya' l'il Sheila le'us'righ' to ya' daughtah'"
Manny and the rest to the herd turned to Shira.
"I didn't mean to. I didn't even knew he was still alive. Please, believe me."
Manny looked at her.
"I said if anything happened to my daughter, you're paying."
Shira gulped and nodded.
"Anyway, now that you're here, I'm gonna take away sonething special from you. Just like you did to me."
"Wait, what did we take from you?"
"You took my beautiful Shira. I loved her."
"Wait, you love her?"
Diego asked.
"Do you know how wrong that sounds?"
Gutt sighed.
"I know. But...now you must die.!"
...
"Come on! This is like the 20th time! Damn!"
Deadpool screamed at the television screen. The same alert had been coming on for the past few minutes.
"Hmm, maybe it's really important."
Deadpool thought about it for a minute.
"What herd gets themselves caught by an ape? Do you guys know?"
He stood up and turned off the TV.
"Guess this is important. Well, I'm on my way."
Deadpool got ready to rescue the herd.
...
The herd was trying to figure out how to escape. But they couldn't find a way out.
"I'm sorry Dad."
"Damn right you're sorry! What the hell were you thinking?! Getting drunk like that!"
"Manny! She was only having fun!"
"I don't give a damn if she was having fun. She should've known getter. Louis didn't get drunk."
"GUYS!"
Diego shouted. The group turned to him.
"Guys, we're all going to do, and you're fighting? Maybe we should look for a way out."
Manny and Ellie looked at each other.
"He's right. How do we get out. The only person who knows about escaping the pirates, is Shira."
The two mammoths looked at the sabress, who was sitting in a corner, feeling guilty as hell.
"We can't trust her. She led my daughter into a trap."
Manny said as she looked at the sabress.
"But she didn't know. Plus, she's our only chance."
Diego said. Manny thought about it for a few minutes. He turned to look at Shira. She really did look guilty. Maybe she really didn't know Captain Gutt was still alive.
"Fine. But if anyone of us gets hurt, she'll be getting kicked out. Got it?"
Diego nodded.
"Fine."
Manny turned to Shira.
"Shira, if you help us get out, we'll forgive you."
Shira looked up at Manny.
"Really?"
Manny nodded.
"But, if anybody gets hurt of killed, you're kicked out of the herd."
Shira nodded.
"Okay."
Shira said. She began looking around for a place out. As she was looking, a crash was heard and a wall of their cell was broken in. The herd turned to see a weird looking human. He was wearing black and red clothing. Everyone stared at him in confusion. Well, everyone but Louis. He stared at him in awe.
"It can't be..."
He whispered.
The human looked around the herd.
"Huh, that warning was true. Anyway, guess I'd better help you."
"Who the hell are you?"
Diego asked. The rest of the herd just looked on in confusion. Peaches turned to Louis.
"Louis, close your mouth. You look stupid."
Louis nodded and stutter his mouth.
"Anyway, I'm Deadpool. And I guess I have to help you or something."
"It's really him."
Louis squeaked. Peaches turned to him.
you know him?"
"Yeah. He's the best hero in the world. He's also a ninja."
Deadpool turned to Louis.
"Hey there little guy. Since you know me, why don't you tell me who you are?"
Louis looked at the person I front of him.
"He spoke to me. He actually spoke to me. Hi I'm Louis. You're my hero. I know everything about you."
Deadpool just looked at him.
"Okay then. Anyway, let's get you guys outta here."
"I think in know a way out. But Gutt has more crew members. We have to find a way past them."
Shira said. Deadpool turned to her.
"Hello Pretty Kitty. Once I get you out, I have plans for you."
Shira just turned away. Deadpool turned to the rest of the herd.
"Okay. Let me think. I'll go see how many crew members are around, then I'll see how to get you guys out without getting you guys killed. And since the Pretty Kitty knows about the pirates, I'd like for her to come with me."
Deadpool walked over to Shira and untied her.
"C'mon."
"Y'know, we could've just got out from the hole you made."
Ellie said. The others agreed.
"Yeah. But look where it leads to?"
Deadpool pointed the hole where he came in from. When they looked at the hole, they saw nothing but water.
"Oh."
"Yeah. As I was saying. The sabress and I will go see how to escape, and you guys just stay here and chilax."
"Fine. But nothing funny."
Deadpool nodded and they walked off.
...
"Okay, tell me, how do you know about that ape?"
Deadpool asked. Shira turned to him.
"I was part of his crew as his first mate."
Deadpool looked at her.
"First-mate or first mate?"
Shira looked at Deadpool in disgust.
"Really?"
Shira asked and walked off in disgust. Deadpool looked after her.
"What?! Gee, I just asked a question. Now where's she going? Why am I asking you guys? You're not suppose to know. Guess I'd better follow her."
Deadpool ran off to follow Shira. When he reached her, he found her looking at the captain.
"What's she-"
"Shhh! He might hear you."
"Too late, mate."
Shira and Deadpool gasped and quickly turned around to see the kangaroo standing behind them.
"Raz."
"Glad ya' remembah' me Sheila."
"Yes. An'now ah'eve tah take ya to th' cap'in."
"Wait, you know that monkey too?"
"Yes she knows him. She's not to be trusted."
Shira said.
"So, you were on the captains crew, but she's on the same captain's crew? I'm gonna guess that you betrayed your captain."
Deadpool said. Shira nodded.
"Yes, and now, we've gotta leave."
As Shira and Deadpool were about to get away, Raz spoke up.
"Oi! No'on mah watch!"
Raz grabbed a vine and lassoed it around the two, but Deadpool got out of the way in time.
"Whoa whoa. What the hell!"
After Raz tied Shira up, she went after Deadpool. He jumped out of the way at the last second. The noise got the attention of the other pirates. They began to surrounded the two.
"What's going on here?!"
Gutt asked. Raz turned to the ape.
"These two are tryin'tah escape."
Gutt walked up to Shira and Deadpool.
"Is this true? And who the hell are you?"
Gutt asked. Shira was about to answer when Deadpool punched Gutt in the face. The crew gasped and Gutt was angry as hell.
"Look, I don't know you, but I already don't like you."
Gutt got right up in Deadpool's face.
"That doesn't give you the right to punch others!"
"And it doesn't give you the right to kidnap others and make them miserably."
"Well, you're not even suppose to be in the Ice Age!"
"You're not fit to be a pirate."
"I don't know what you're suppose to be, but you're not fit to be on my ship."
"Oh yeah? Well...your fur is...kinda...pointy... Ehem."
Deadpool said lamely. The crew and captain just stared at him.
"Yeah."
"Well, since you're lamazmatic, guess it's time for you to die. And since Shira was part of my crew, she has the choice to either join the crew, or be killed like the rest of that little herd of hers."
Gutt said.
"Never! I'll never join this crew!"
"Very well. Prepare to die."
The pirates held up their weapons. Deadpool looked around for a way out. He stood right next to Shira. As he watched the pirated get ready to kill them, he remembered something.
"Any last words?"
Gutt asked evilly. Deadpool nodded. He bent down to Shira and whispered something in her ear. Shira nodded. He stood up and turned to Gutt.
"Okay. We're ready."
Deadpool felt in his pockets for something to cut the rope vine with. As the pirates got closer, Deadpool cut the vine. Shira ran off to the direction of the cell, while Deadpool began fighting off the pirates. Shira ran off to the cell. When she got there, she ran to the cell.
"Guys. That...weird guy's distracting the pirates. I'm here to brake you guys out."
"Why didn't Gutt tie you up?"
Shira sighed.
"He thinks if I stay untied, I might want him to join his crew. But I'm not going to join the crew. I'm here to brake you out."
Shira said as she began to brake the lock to the cell. In no time, she finally broke the lock and opened the cell door.
"Okay. Let's go."
The group walked out of the cell. Shira led them to where the pirates and Deadpool were. When they saw how Deadpool was fighting, Louis stared at him in awe.
"Awesome..."
He whispered.
"C'mon Louis."
Louis followed Peaches to safety.
...
When the group was back on the island, they cheered for their freedom. Well, everyone but Louis. He just stood in one spot, looking at their hero.
"Pouis, why do you keep staring at that guy? Are you gay?"
Peaches asked
"N-no. He's my hero."
"Sounds a bit gay to me."
"No you don't understand. All the molehog a in my family know him through legend. We always thought he wasn't real. But he his."
Louis said dreamily. Peaches just looked at him.
"Gay."
She said as she walked away to talk to her father. Louis walked over to Deadpool.
"Hi Sir."
Deadpool turned around.
"Hey there little guy."
"I'm you biggest fan."
"I can tell."
"Thank you for saving us."
"Aw no problem kid."
"Y'know I defeated him once."
"You? You're, what, ten inches high? That's kinda impressive."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
Deadpool walked closer to Louis and placed his hand on Louis's shoulder.
"Kid. People may think you're a wimp, but you're far from that. You defeated that crazy monkey, and that doesn't make you a wimp."
Deadpool stepped away and removed his hand from Louis's shoulder. Louis just stood there.
"You...you touched me. EVERYBODY, DEADPOOL TOUCHED ME!"
Louis started breathing really fast. Deadpool just looked at him.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes..."
Louis said faintly.
"Anyway, how would you like to learn some of those moves you saw earlier?"
"You? Teaching me? That's...that's..."
Louis didn't get to finish his sentence because he fainted. Deadpool just stared at him.
"Okay then. Bye guys. And thanks for reading."
Hey guys. I don't think this is any good. But it's my first time writing for Deadpool and the pirates. So give me a brake. Not only that, I was distracted when I was watching WWE. Shinigamilover2, if you do read this. I'm sorry it's screwie. If you want, I'll write another one if you'd like. Okay bye guys.