Paths and Parallel Universes
When Kise joins Teikou's basketball club, Aomine detects the other's presence immediately. However, their friendship progresses slowly. The taller male sees that the blond harbors initial skepticism towards the game he loves so much creating an unpleasant knot in the pit of his stomach. Within a few weeks, Aomine notices his ability on the court both fascinates and challenges the blond, and Kise's apathy visibly transforms into passion. Inspiring another to appreciate basketball becomes a source of pride for Aomine, which allows the two to truly connect as teammates and friends.
As the sun sets on another day filled with Kise's unending requests for one-on-one matches, Aomine finally declines. "It's late, and we've been playing so long that even Satsuki has gotten sick of waiting for me."
Pouting from his seat on the floor, the blond reminds Aomine of a puppy dog. The taller male almost laughs at his mental image of puppy-Kise, but the fitting comparison propels him into thought.
'Kise just wants to be loved by everyone,' Aomine realizes with a start. 'He beams when he receives special treatment from Akashi, and even I can tell that Akashi's soft on the idiot. Kise never lets Kuroko and Midorima's dismissive attitude discourage his friendly chatter. He gets on Murasakibara's good side by bringing leftover snacks from his photo shoots, and he gives me endless zeal for developing his basketball skills.'
Fatigue from physical exertion and curiosity regarding the accuracy of his deductions lead Aomine to speak without thinking. "Admit it," he challenges with a knowing smirk. "You just want to be loved by all of your teammates. I can tell by the way you act around us."
Instead of laughingly accepting the accusation like Aomine expects, Kise's eyes widen displaying pure shock. Then, the blond's expression turns reflective, as he takes a moment to ponder the assessment.
Kise earnestly replies, "I'm not trying to gain anybody's affection. In fact I would never date another basketball player, because that type of relationship would be too hard. Regardless of being on the same team or on different teams, sports create competition and rivalry. I know that I'm not tough enough to deal with that emotionally complex situation, so I would rather avoid it altogether."
With the blond's contemplative answer, Aomine chooses to ignore the other's misinterpretation concerning the personality evaluation. He had meant "love" in a generic manner and not a romantic fashion. However, Kise's response gives Aomine important insight into the other's true nature.
'Underneath Kise's easy-going smile lies a maturity I never knew existed,' he ascertains with astonishment.
With a melancholy grin twisting his lips, Kise asks, "Are you surprised by my reply, Aominecchi? Because I look the way I do and act the way I act, I understand why people make false assumptions about the depth of my character. But, even I want to be taken seriously at times."
Guilt unfurls within Aomine at his failure to recognize this part of the other's personality without being directly told. However, Kise's conclusion regarding dating a fellow basketball player overshadows this shame. The conversation repeats in Aomine's head, like a ghost reminding him to keep emotional distance from the blond, even though a corner of his mind wonders if the warning comes too late.
Aomine's days at Teikou end melding into further education, which he finds just as irrelevant to his life as his previous schooling. He and Kise remain on good terms throughout their youth. Sometimes Aomine gets the impression that mutual flirtation and attraction crackle between them, but he never approaches the subject and instead chooses to hide behind the knowledge that the blond would never accept feelings from another basketball player.
As the years pass, Aomine watches silently as Kise dates girls, shallow, vapid, and incapable of appreciating the blond's worth. The first time one of them breaks Kise's heart, Aomine offers a sympathetic ear and a shoulder to cry on, but nothing more. An uncomfortable knot settles in his gut, as a single thought taunts him: 'I could love Kise more than anybody else.'
Pushing his emotions to the furthest corner of his heart, Aomine erects an icy barrier to lock them up, because he wants to honor Kise's preference of keeping relations between fellow basketball players platonic.
Relentlessly, time marches forth with Aomine remaining a bystander in Kise's life. The blond eventually reconciles with the girl who had previously broken his heart, and when the couple gets engaged, Aomine fully grasps the reality behind his choice to abide by Kise's desire for only friendship. Forced to move on, he begins dating. Although Kise insists that Aomine bring his new girlfriend to the wedding, the taller man feels strange inviting her to the occasion, so he opts to tag along with Momoi instead. At the ceremony, he sees how happy Kise and his bride look, with nothing but love written across their faces, and he decides to make peace with the situation.
A few years later, when Aomine gets married, Kise attends bringing his wife, who stands respectfully on the sideline. At the reception, the blond wishes him the all the best, and the only response Aomine can muster is to thank the other for coming.
Both Aomine and Kise settle into ordinary existences filled with the predictable – steady jobs followed by parenthood. Aomine finds accommodating others' expectations easier than struggling against the natural pace of life. His choices provide him with plenty of topics to discuss with family and friends, and he grows accustomed to this simple, normal existence. Due to fortuitous timing, he and Kise have children around the same time, and their families end up bonding.
Occasionally on joint family outings, disquiet ripples through Aomine, as if something about the situation is amiss. However, he squashes the unfamiliar sentiment before his mind can tackle the meaning behind his feelings. With a life free from complications, Aomine convinces himself that he and Kise (and their wives) have more fun speculating whether or not their children will join the two families at some point in the future. One day, when their kids are in their late teens, Kise mournfully tells Aomine that his daughter insists only friendship exists between her and Aomine's son. The latter confirms the sentiment. This subject provides the parents with something to converse about, but interest soon fades allowing for the days to once again pass peacefully. When his son marries a sweet and thoughtful girl, Aomine thinks his child appears happy in a way he himself has never been.
In his sixty-third year, the threat of mortality shakes Aomine's stable life; Kise announces he has cancer. Concerned, Aomine tries to understand the complexities of the illness. Midorima explains several times before Aomine finally reaches the limit of the other's patience.
"Why are you using overly technical terms?" Aomine accuses. "Aren't doctors supposed to explain things so that normal people can understand them?"
"I'm not an oncologist. I have no experience explaining Kise's illness in a simpler fashion!" Midorima snaps.
'But this is Kise, and he might die,' Aomine protests internally. However, rather than incurring further wrath from his former teammate, he focuses on facts he can understand, such as the relatively low mortality rate. Even with this comforting fact, he marvels at Kise's ability to maintain sunny optimism.
"I can beat this thing, Aominecchi!" the blond cheerfully assures before going into his first session of chemotherapy. Perhaps keeping a positive mindset helps, because Kise triumphs against cancer. However, the treatment takes a burden on him.
Aomine's heart breaks at seeing his friend, once strong and lively, look so ashen and fragile. When Kise, who had once indulged on food and drink, declines these things with a forlorn expression, Aomine wonders what the other must sacrifice to continue living.
When he mentions these observations to his wife, she explains, "Of course Kise looks weak. The treatment for the cancer has destroyed his immune system. He has to be very careful about what he eats, because his body is less capable of fighting off infection. I'm amazed at how strong his wife is, handling all of his doctor appointments and needs with a smile on her face. Just so you know, Daiki, I plan to die first."
Aomine chuckles and murmurs, "Nobody's dying any time soon." Even though his tone sounds causal, his words carry a desperate plea.
Five years pass, including a three year remission, before Aomine starts worrying about Kise's health again. Surprise hospitalizations occur, and he notices that the other's motor functions and ability to focus decrease.
When Aomine learns that Kise has yet again been admitted to the hospital, he expects this news. Like usual, he visits his old friend. "When are you going to be released?" he asks.
Kise's face falls, and silence fills the room.
Alarmed, Aomine prods, "Oi, Kise?"
Keeping golden eyes trained on ground, the other man softly admits, "Aominecchi, I'm dying. It's a brain infection. I've got two, maybe three weeks at most."
With blood rushing hollowly in his ears and his heart constricting painfully, Aomine wants to insist that Kise continue fighting. However, forced to watch the other's declining health over the past several months, the taller man admits that the terminal prognosis comes as no surprise. Forcing himself to swallow the lump building in his throat, he manages words of condolence. "I'm sorry." After a brief pause, he asks, "Besides family, have you told anybody else?"
"Midorimacchi has connections with this hospital, so he knows. Oh, so does Momocchi. Since her daughter is a lawyer, she's going make sure my will is exactly as I want it."
With tears building in his eyes, Aomine asks, "Is there anything I can do for you?"
"Visit me sometime," Kise requests pressing his lips into a trembling smile. "I'll be home for a couple of days, but afterwards I'll be moving to a hospice for the remainder of my time."
"Okay, I will," Aomine promises.
Aomine visits the hospice twice within a week and finds his old friend as chatty as ever. However, visible weight-loss indicates the end of a losing battle. During the second week following Kise's terminal diagnosis, Aomine notices a drastic change. The other male seems to be in constant pain, struggles to speak, and easily slips into and out of sleep. The last time that Aomine sees Kise alive the other already looks like a corpse, skin and bones, without the strength to remain conscious for more than ten minutes at a time.
'Kise's going to enter a coma and never wake up,' Aomine realizes, while watching over his old teammate. 'It's going to happen soon.'
When he hears wheezing escaping Kise's throat, Aomine assumes the other is trying to speak. Springing forward, he strains to understand the other's strangled words.
"Aominecchi," a voice as dry as sandpaper rasps, "I'm ready to go."
The statement catches him off guard, and Aomine freezes. Before he gets a chance to respond, Kise succumbs to slumber once more. Wordlessly, the taller male slumps down in his seat. Knowing that these are likely the last words Kise will ever say to him, his tears flow freely.
When Kise passes, the news surprises no one. Aomine dutifully attends the wake, his last meeting with the other fresh on his mind.
'Kise said he was ready to go, so I hope he's resting in peace now,' he thinks.
Before departing, Aomine notices his old teammates from Teikou and Kise's teammates from Kaijou gathering wordlessly, as if standing together will solidify memories of the recently departed and of the youthful basketball competitions they had all shared. He joins the others. One look at Kuroko's miserable face makes him wish that he could offer comfort.
Kise's daughter interrupts the silence. "Oh, good, you guys are all in one place. This makes things easier for me." After taking a moment to dry her eyes, she forges ahead. "You guys meant a lot to my father, so before he lost his strength, he wrote letters for all of you." Taking a stack of sealed envelopes out of her purse, she hands one to each of them.
As Aomine grips the sheathed paper, uneasiness swells within him. Complicated emotions – an undefinable place between love, friendship, and rivalry – wash over him. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he focuses on the present and observes those around him. The basketball players of his youth stand with their personalized farewells.
Except for Takao, who remains with a solid grip on Midorima's hand, families of those who had been teammates with Kise scatter, giving the men time to process their last messages. Aomine supposes that Takao, a basketball player in their generation, even if not directly connected to Kise, has earned the right to stay.
Mesmerized by the couple in front of him, Aomine watches Takao speak to Midorima in a soothing tone, take the letter, and read it softly for the other's ears alone. The message's intended recipient visibly loses control of his emotions. Covering his mouth with a hand, tears stream down Midorima's face. The fact that Kise's letter can garner this reaction from the normally stoic Midorima leaves Aomine queasy. However, with those around him pouring through Kise's parting words, some laughing and others crying, he feels compelled to conform. With a deep breath, he pulls a sheet of paper from the envelope and prepares for the worst.
Aominecchi,
We've been through a lot, haven't we? I have always felt fortunate to have crossed paths with you in middle school. I'm grateful to you for helping me discover basketball and for pulling me out of my youthful boredom. I only wish I could have done the same for you in high school.
There's one thing that I have wanted to let you know for quite some time, but I didn't have the courage to tell you directly. Thank you for keeping things simple between us. At one point, I knew that you and I felt the same way about each other. You probably remember that conversation we had in middle school, when I told you I'd never date a basketball player because I wanted to avoid a relationship that was hard to separate from competition. Knowing you chose to honor my wishes means a lot to me. However, at the same time, I believe in a parallel universe, where we would have explored our feelings for each other. In this alternate world, I'm sure we would have had a great love.
You truly have helped shape my life, and you mean more to me than I can express with written words. Thank you for everything you've done for me.
Ryouta
Blindsided by the contents, Aomine stares open-mouthed at Kise's messy scrawl unable to react. After reading the words again, the message cuts to his core. Regret and loss simultaneously swallow him. With his heart constricting painfully, tears finally form and course steadily down the planes of his face.
Over the next several years, more of Aomine's peers pass with old age. When Takao dies, only Aomine and Midorima are left from their generation. At the wake, he notices the retired doctor clutching a familiar envelope bearing the same style as the one he has kept in his wallet since Kise's funeral, and he wonders why the other carries Kise's last words on this day.
Curiosity getting the best of him, Aomine simply states, "That's Kise's letter."
Disbelief registers in Midorima's eyes. "I'm shocked you recognize the stationery. I wouldn't have pegged you for the sentimental type."
"Glad I can still surprise you after all these years," the dark-skinned male replies with a smirk. "Why do you have that letter in hand today? What did our team idiot write to make you bring it here?"
Midorima's grip tightens on the paper, as if afraid Aomine might attempt to snatch it from him.
Narrowing his eyes, Aomine comments, "Now I'm really interested. Let's make a deal. I'll show you mine if you show me yours." He pulls out his wallet and produces his own envelope.
"You carry Kise's parting words with you?" Midorima asks looking intrigued.
Aomine shrugs.
For a moment, the two stare at each other curiosity battling pride. The former wins, as each male wordlessly offers the other their prized letter. Excited at the opportunity to have one last connection with a loved one long departed, Aomine eagerly devours the new words.
Midorimacchi,
Thank you for being by my side during my illness. Having a friend with the medical knowledge to understand everything I was experiencing allowed me to have someone I could be completely honest with when I felt my sickest and most discouraged. (I'm sure you thought I was whining like normal, though.)
You should know that I've always admired your strength and bravery, especially regarding your relationship with Takao. I wish I had that quality when I was young. Cherish the bond you two share, a bond that must have been so difficult to cultivate and keep throughout the years. You two have truly made one another better people. Perhaps this observation is the kind of thing only a dying person can make. However, I want you to be aware of the fact that you two have a special connection. It's the last thing I can do to show how much I appreciate everything you've done for me throughout the years.
Ryouta
As the men return the borrowed letters to their original owners, Midorima offers, "I'm sorry. I didn't know about you and Kise."
Aomine shrugs. "Neither of us said anything. To be honest, before Kise's final message, I wasn't sure he had the same feelings for me as I did for him."
At this admission, Midorima looks incredibly uncomfortable, so Aomine continues without waiting for a response. "I know you went through a lot of objection regarding your relationship with Takao, particularly from your family. Was it worth it?"
"Yes," the other male answers without hesitation.
With a sad smile ghosting his lips, Aomine whispers, "I thought so."
That night, Aomine dreams about a past that never happened. He observes himself in his youth confessing to Kise at the right time, convincing the idiotic blond that emotional complications be damned, they were meant for each other. He awakens feeling more alive than he has in several years.
As the days pass, these dreams continue in sequence, and he happily watches a romance that could have been unfold in front of him. From exhilarating firsts, they grow together to create a profound relationship. In this fantasy world, a parallel universe that Kise had believed in, the blond never gets cancer. They live an ordinary life, where they learn more about one another with each passing day, every new facet gleaned allowing them to fall that much more in love.
One night, Aomine dreams about being with Kise, when both are well into their eighties. They review a lifetime of photos and reflect on the memories they have shared.
This imaginary Kise turns to him, smiles, and says, "We've had such a good, blessed life. I think I could die happy."
With a rueful smile, he responds, "No talk about dying from you, but I guess I agree. If I were to die now, I would have no regrets."
Satisfied with the scene in front of him, Aomine thinks that he would rather stay in this fantasy forever, and he never wakes up.
Author's notes: Written for BPS's Misdirection 2015. Now that the authors have been revealed, I can post it here. =) Also, sorry about this, guys. I think this is definitely the angstiest thing I've written. (Ahh, I feel like I'm always apologizing for what I do to this pairing. ;A;)