Author's note: Well, I promised a Holes parody, and here it is, thanks to the suggestions I got from Kenshinhdykstal777. Speaking of which, I'd like to thank Kenshinhdykstal777 for those suggestions. Without them, I probably would never have gotten this story up.

Well, since that's said and done, I guess I should mention that I don't own the book Holes or any of the other characters in this story . . . except Nathan Ro, of course. The other characters and the book belong to their respective owners.

Happy reading!

He never told anyone about it. He didn't think there was any need to tell anyone about it. Besides, who would believe him? Hardly anyone ever listened to him anyway.

It was 3:00 in the afternoon. The last day of school. The start of summer vacation in the small town of Peach Creek. But there was one certain boy who was both happy and sad at the same time.

The young boy's full name was Eddy Skipper Ydde. He preferred Eddy. He hated his middle name. And he wasn't too fond of the fact that his first name was his last name spelled backward. It was something that had been in his family for generations. His father and his grandpa were also named Eddy Ydde. His grandpa was Eddy Ydde II. His father was Eddy Ydde III. So that meant that our Eddy is Eddy Ydde IV. But Eddy didn't care if it was family tradition. He still wondered why it had to be he who had the tradition instead of his older brother.

As Eddy walked away from the dreaded torture facility known as "school," he was both happy and ticked off at the same time. He was happy because school was finally over, and he was ticked off because that stupid Kevin had thrown his notebook into the toilet. Which meant Eddy had to fish it out and carry the mess home in his backpack.

Eddy didn't have too many friends. He was definitely not friends with Kevin (would you be friends with somebody who threw your notebook into the toilet?), Jonny had that stupid board Plank, there was no way he would be friends with bratty Sarah or wimpy Jimmy (especially after the young protege had stabbed him in the back), Nazz usually hung out with Kevin, Rolf was plain strange, and the Kankers . . . he didn't even want to get started on them.

The only friends Eddy had were two other boys. And they were both named Ed. Ed single-D was a tall, smelly, lump of a friend who had no brain at all, and when he wasn't throwing his weight around for Eddy, he was sitting in his filthy room full of turkeys, gravy, and those schlocky old B movies. Edd Double-D, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. He was also taller than Eddy, but he was a neat freak. He loved to learn, and he always had to have everything perfect and clean. He communicated with his parents through sticky notes.

Whenever Eddy thought long enough about it, he began to wonder why these three boys kept each other around. But then he would always remember the one thing that kept them together: jawbreakers.

The three Eds loved jawbreakers. The only problem was that they hardly ever had any money to get these scrumptious candies that came in so many mouth-watering colors and flavors. So what did they do? They tried to talk the other kids out of their allowances, of course!

Throughout the summer, and whenever they could during the school year, the three Eds always came up with some kind of wacky scam to try and get quarters from the other kids. On very rare occasions, the scams (thought up by Eddy and constructed by Double D) actually worked. But the three boys failed many more times than they succeeded. Usually it seemed that it was because of a mistake caused by Eddy or Ed, but mostly Ed (he was definitely not the brightest star in the sky). And whenever a scam went wrong, Eddy would immediately blame either of his two friends for their misfortune, even if they had nothing to do with it.

Eddy knew what he was doing. He knew when Double D and Ed screwed up or not. And he knew when it was really his fault. What he was really doing was trying to hide the inevitable. But as the boys failed more and more, the real reason why the boys failed so much was beginning to crush poor Eddy. And there was no way he could get rid of it.

Eddy was cursed. No, this isn't the curse that was put on him when he stole Rolf's cursed phone. This was a different curse. A curse that was on his entire family. It was this curse that kept the Eds from succeeding in most of their scams. And it was this curse that made his father recently lose his job.

Now he was trying to make a living by finding a way to recycle old sneakers. They were running out of money fast. His father was not going anywhere with his work, and soon there would hardly be any money to support Eddy, his father, his mother, and now his grandfather, who had moved in recently. Soon, they would have to move out of their house either because they would run out of money, or because somebody was going to evict them because of the foul odor that now inhabited Eddy's home. And it was all because of Eddy's no-good-dirty-rotten-chicken-stealing-great-great-grandfather.

Eddy slightly smiled to himself as he walked farther away from the school, and gave a slight hand gesture to Double D and Ed to say that he would catch up to them later. Whenever misfortune struck the Ydde's, the one who got the blame was Eddy's no-good-dirty-rotten-chicken-stealing-great-great-grandfather, who had started the curse. Apparently, this member of the Ydde family had stolen a chicken from an old wizard, and the wizard put a curse on him and all of his descendants. As a result, Eddy and his whole family was always at the wrong place at the wrong time. And he wasn't too fond of birds either, especially chickens (which sometimes put a strain on his friendship with Ed, since Ed loved chickens).

It wasn't always this bad. Back when Eddy was younger, back when his older brother was still around, things weren't that bad. Sure, Eddy's father had a stroke of bad luck now and then, but they managed. But that was before Eddy knew about the curse. He frowned. He hated this curse, and he missed his brother.

He hardly ever showed it, but he truly missed his brother. When his brother was around, he was treated with respect. But now he was gone. And Eddy hardly had anything sentimental to remember him by. But there was one thing. When Eddy was younger and his brother was around, his brother would always sing him a certain song. And whenever Eddy's brother sang him the song, he would always explain to Eddy how the song had been in the Ydde family for generations.

"If only, if only," the woodpecker sighs.

"The bark on the trees was as soft as the skies."

And the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely.

He cries to the moo-ooo-ooon, "If only, if only."

Eddy's favorite part of the song was when his brother would throw his head back and howl the word "moon." But now Eddy's brother wasn't there. He wasn't there to keep his little brother's spirits up. He wasn't there to sing the special song to him. He wasn't there to tell him that they would get through this. He wasn't there to do anything.

By now, Eddy was right in the middle of the town, staring through the window of his target: the candy shop. He saw the shelf full of the sweet, sweet jawbreakers he so longed for. But, as usual, he had no money.

As Eddy sadly walked away, he began to wonder if it was even worth being around anymore. None of his ideas worked, he never had any money, and pretty soon, his family would lose their house. And it wasn't like a miracle was going to fall right out of the sky or anything . . .

CLUNK!

Suddenly, something hit the back of Eddy's head, knocking him down right onto his face. As he got up, wondering what idiot had just knocked him on the back of the head, he saw something on the sidewalk. There, lying right next to Eddy, was a pair of sneakers. A miracle.

Eddy picked up the sneakers. He examined them. They were black and white tennis shoes with red X's on the side of them. And they were a pretty small size. They were only a few sizes bigger than Eddy's. There was also one other distinguishing feature to the shoes: they smelled awful!

Eddy took this as a sign. His father was trying to find a way to recycle old sneakers, and this might help him somehow. As he got up, he started to look around. There was nobody there. Nobody who could have thrown the sneakers at Eddy's head. Then he began to run. He had no idea why he was running, but he just did. But as he was running, he suddenly heard a somewhat familiar sound ringing through the air. As he ran, he slightly turned his head. His eyes widened. There was a police car right behind him.

After that, everything seemed like a blur to poor Eddy. He finally stopped running. A cop came out of the car and started to ask Eddy some questions. Eddy, in a stupor, answered all of the cop's questions, even though he didn't really know what he was even answering. Then he felt something cold and hard slap across his wrists. Eddy slowly glanced down, and his eyes widened again. Handcuffs were on his wrists! What the heck had just happened? What had he told the cops? Sure, he was used to getting in trouble for his hair-brained scams, but all those rounds of punishment could never have prepared him for this! Then he realized what was to blame: the curse. He was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Eddy tried to focus on the things around him, but it was all just a fuzzy blur. But he was able to make something out. The cop was talking into a walkie-talkie. He was saying something about how he caught the kid who had stolen Captain Falcon's sneakers . . .

Hold on. Captain Falcon? As in the famous racer? Those were his sneakers that had fallen on Eddy's head? Eddy knew all about Captain Falcon. He was one of his heroes. He had never lost any race he was in.

But Eddy had to snap back to reality. What was going to happen to him now?

The cop took Eddy home and told his parents what had happened. Eddy's parents asked for his side of the story. For once, Eddy couldn't use his quick thinking to help him out, so he told his parents the truth, in his own words. Of course, his parents believed him. But the cop had other ideas. He told Eddy's parents that Eddy would have to appear in court. After the cop left, Eddy began to blame the curse. Since the Ydde's were so poor at the moment, they couldn't hire a lawyer, so Eddy's mother told him to just tell the truth.

Captain Falcon was also to appear at the trial, but because of his racing schedule, the trial was postponed for a number of weeks. Finally, the day of the trial came. Eddy was terrified, but he did think that it was kind of cool that he was going to meet his hero.

Besides Eddy and Captain Falcon, the only other people in the courtroom were the judge, Eddy's parents and grandpa, Double D, and Ed. When the judge asked Eddy what had happened, he did the only thing he could at the time: he told the truth.

"Well, I was just walking by the candy store," Eddy explained, trying his best to stay calm. "And as I was walking, these shoes suddenly fell from the sky and hit me on the head. I thought this was a sign, because my dad works with sneakers, and I guess I just started running without thinking."

Eddy thought it sounded awful. It didn't seem quite convincing. He winced every time the judge brought down his gavel, which made a loud WHACK! which echoed across the room.

Then Captain Falcon told his side of the story. From what he said, Eddy learned that Captain Falcon had donated the sneakers to a local homeless shelter so they could be sold off at an auction. Their price range was between four and five thousand dollars. As Eddy heard Captain Falcon's side, his confidence plummeted. This was just great. He was finally meeting his hero, and his hero thought he was a no-good-dirty-rotten-thief.

Of course, the judge declared Eddy guilty of the crime, and he gave the boy two options. The first option was jail, of course. But then there was a second option. Apparently, there was a correctional facility for bad boys in Texas known as Camp Green Lake. Eddy could go there. But he had to decide fast. Vacancies don't last long at Camp Green Lake.

"The choice is yours," the judge told Eddy. "You can go to jail, or you can go to Camp Green Lake."

Eddy's eyes darted across the room. "Uh . . . well . . . I . . . " He looked from the judge, to Captain Falcon, to his parents and grandpa, and finally to Double D and Ed. He knew how poor his family was at the moment. He turned back to the judge and swallowed the huge lump in his throat. "Well . . . I . . . I've never been to camp before . . . "

WHACK!