A/N: Short songfic, featuring lyrics from Epiphany by Staind. This is a little songfic teaser/spoiler to a fanfic I'm currently in the process of writing. Enjoy! Oh, all characters copyright their creators-no suing the obsessed fangirl. I do take credit for this story idea though, so no copying! Tsk.
Nothing in life ever stays the same. Eventually, everything has to change. To undergo a metamorphosis from the original state. It's inevitable. Ancient trees, wise and benevolent, are cut down to make way for life-for civilization. Volcanoes explode and wipe out whole towns, leaving them in a perpetual slumber of lava and ash. Sometimes, lovers have a fight, and hearts are broken.
Just like you broke my heart…
Your words to me just a whisper
Your face is so unclear
I try to pay attention…
Obviously, you know the reason I left your group. I couldn't stand it. Watching you laughing, fighting. How beautiful you were in the sunlight. How beautiful you were in the moonlight. You were whole, and complete. You knew who you were-you knew everything. You were, and you still are, everything I'm not, and everything I could never hope to be.
Your words just disappear…
I wonder if we could have been together. I think it would have been good. I felt better when you were around. But, you pushed me away, so I pushed right back. That's the secret, I thought. To remain happy, hide behind a smile and cruel words. Would it have been different, if I said what I wanted to say?
Okay, now I'm starting to sound like a lonely old man.
Oh-ho,
Cause it's always raining in my head…
Forget all the things I should have said.
I didn't mean to fall in love with you. I swear. It would have been much safer for you if I hadn't. It would have been better for me in the long run, I believe. But, damnit. It's entirely fault. You wove a spell on me with your beautiful bright hair, and your eyes. Oh-your eyes. How sad they were, even when you were smiling. No, it wasn't your fault for being so beautiful and wonderful.
It was my fault for seeing it.
So I speak to your in riddles
Cause my words get in the way…
I smoke the whole thing to my head
And feel it wash away.
Yes, that's what I would say to myself. Deliver what they need and dissapear again. They can't shoot the messenger if he's not there to shoot! And when they get confused, especially when you get confused, I pulled the standard line out of my bag of tricks.
"I'm sorry…but…that, is a secret!"
Cause I can't take anymore of this I wanna come apart Or dig myself a little hole inside…
But surely you know, if you had asked the question right, I would have replied truthfully. I wouldn't have resorted to my smile and my laugh and my lines and my tricks. I would have told you I loved you. Oh sure, say all you want that mazoku can't love. That we are all a bunch of filthy, horny demons. I know differently. Because I am different.
…your precious heart.
Oh-ho,
Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said…
You never knew how much I loved you until it was too late. Until you got too far in the fight with the mazoku race. Until it was nearly the end of you, nearly the end of me. Then it was the end of you, I couldn't believe it. The fire in your eyes died out as you fell to the ground, blood all over.
I am nothing more than
A little boy inside
That cries out for attention
Yet I always try to hide…
Funny.
I didn't know you could bleed.
Cause I talk to you like children
Though I don't know how I feel
I did the only thing I had to do. Wanted to do. Sure, call me selfish. Hate me. Hit me. I don't care. I still love you.
My heart leapt when the light returned to your eyes. Your skin was warm again.
"…Xellos?" you stammer, looking up at me with fearful eyes. "What happened?"
"You were killed, dear."
"…then why am I alive?"
"…I turned you into one of us."
And then, you screamed.
But I know I'll do the right thing If the right thing is revealed.
Everything I said made it worse. You ended up slapping me and running away. But I know you'll come back. You won't survive on your own. You need me…you hate to admit it. You need me as much as I love you. Because I do, you know.
Cause it's always raining in my head…
"…Filia," I mutter with a sigh as you continue to run.
Forget all the things I should have said.