Summary: Everyone knows that Raphael goes out every night. But on this particular night, Leonardo decides to find out why. Leo and Raph share a moment.\

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.

Rating: Rated for drug references.

A/N: This story is set after the events that took place in a songfic that I wrote called "Moonlight Shadow". It isn't really a sequal because this story developed on its own and was not based off that songfic. The events of the songfic got written into the beginning of this story because I needed a context for Raph's nightly topside excursions. Once again, you do not need to have read "Moonlight Shadow" to get the gist of this story.

Craving

Raphael stood atop his favourite roof. The one thing that he loved about this place more than anything else was that it was quiet out here. This rooftop had become his sanctuary; his fortress of solitude. He could stand up here for hours and not feel any time go by. It was here that she fell. He had accepted it now. He would return here often. He no longer felt any sadness (or pity for that matter). The memory was still there, but he no longer came here to forget. He felt very much at peace here. It was a feeling he rarely got to experience and he had learned to treasure it.

"Raph?"

Raphael didn't turn around. He stayed where he was and looked down over the edge.

"Raph! No!" Leo (who could only see the back of his brother) lunged forward and dragged Raph away from the edge.

"Hey! Watch it!" Raph (who had just had the cigarette that he was holding knocked out of his hand) looked annoyed at Leo.

"What were you thinking?" Said Leo.

"What was I thinking? What were you thinking? Sneaking up on me like that." Raph replied.

"You weren't…" Leo looked embarrassed.

"You idiot, why d'ya think I'd do something like that?" Rapha folded his arms.

"You were standing so close to the edge… I… I've got an imagination OK?"

Leo looked around to stave off his embarrassment when his eyes caught hold of the cigarette on the floor of the roof. It was still smoking faintly.

"Raph you weren't." Said Leo in disbelief.

"I was." Said Raph, unashamed.

"But why?"

"Same reason why you go out on your mindless training sessions in the mornings. And don't tell me you're doing it because you think you'need' the training."

Leo was taken aback. "I… of course I need to train. We all do."

"Bull." Raph snorted. "You know as well as I do that your ninjitsu skills are better than the rest of us put together. You're the last turtle who needs to be out training every morning."

Leonardo was surprised to hear his brother speaking so frankly about a topic that was usually a matter of hot disputes between them.

"How long have you been doing this?"

"A fair while." Said Raph.

Leonardo couldn't believe that Raphael was talking so calmly. The Raph he knew would have lost his cool already.

"Master Splinter is gonna kill you when he finds out about this."

"If he finds out." Raph corrected him.

"What do you mean if?"

"Because you're not gonna tell him." Said Raph.

"What… what makes you think I will tell him?"

"Because you always do." Said Raph, as though he were speaking to a child. "And then you wonder why we always end up fighting."

"We always end up fighting because you needed an excuse to come out here so that you could do your thing." Leo retorted.

"I come here because I want to come here. I don't need any excuses. You come in on my private space in my private time and then you demand explanations for everything." Said Raphael coolly. "This is my time; my place. I don't need to explain anything. You however had better have a very food reason for jumping on me like that."

Leo just looked at Raph and for a moment none of them spoke.

"You're always out." Said Leo finally. "I'd say that it was a good thing not having your around and that I was happy to finally get some peace around the lair. Except none of it is true. Mikey and Don miss you. I miss you."

Leo turned away and looked out over the evening sky.

"As far apart as we've all grown – and even though we sometimes have days where we never see or talk to each other during the day; we've always had our evenings together. Whether we're lazing on the couch or out busting 'The Foot'; we've always been together. We're part of a whole."

He turned around to face Raphael properly now.

"And even though I know that I'll probably start fighting with you again the minute we get home; it would just be really nice to have you back with us so that we can be together again in the evenings."

Raph took his time before answering. He knew that it had cost a lot for Leo to say that; and that Leo would probably regret saying it the moment they got home. This was their first serious and non-argumentative conversation they'd had together for some time. Fate had chanced them to come together again to re-establish their equilibrium, and both turtles were now looking out over the city in contemplation.

"Thanks for coming to get me Leo." Said Raph.

"Thanks for showing me this place. It is quite peaceful up here." Leo returned his gaze.

Raphael wondered if they would remember this conversation once they got home. He didn't care. Leo is Leo and Raph is Raph. They will always fight with each other. He was happy to go home. Don and Mikey were waiting for him; and he wondered if Splinter had noticed that he was gone. For the moment, his nicotine craving had been abated but he was secretly glad that the store of cigarettes that he'd collected were still safe in their hiding place.

A/N: netbus would just like to add here that she doesn't smoke (save for passive smoking in dad's car), but I do have a parallel obsession with coke. Obviously smoking is a lot more damaging but I know that with my caffeine obsession, I've done a lot of damage as well.