Author's Note: For your reading pleasure, I bring you a crossover between the Georgia Nicolson books (Angus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging) and the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books/movies. Told from Georgia's point of view, in the same tone and language as her journals. Will combine some things from the DOAWK movies, some from the books. Uses Georgia's slang. Ask me if there is something you don't understand. Actually, created Georgia and her family and Rodrick and his family in the Sims with great success. Georgia and Rodrick ended up together. And Libby and Manny are good friends. So I thought I would try a crossover fic based on that.
Title belongs to The Ready Set. Good song. You should check it out. No specific timeline for the story. Remember that it is told from a certain point of view, so some details are hazy, scattered, and misinformed. The opinions reflected in this work do not represent the author's own opinions.
Sorry if I got anything wrong. I am from Hamburger A Go-Go Land and did my best to make sure things were right.
Disclaimer: Don't own. No money is made.
Love Like Woe: Part One
The even further confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Unleashed in Hamburger A-Go-Go Land
August : Reign of the Loonleader!
Monday August 1st
11:00 am
New Room. New Country. Same old Vati.
Vati has been completely unreasonable moving our clan to Hamburger A Go-Go Land.
He says it's for his new job.
But I said to him "What complete fool would give you, a bearded wonder, a job?" Apparently someone other than mutti who appreciates the fact that it looks like badger is dangling off his chin. Americans can be so dim. He raved on and on for about a million years, but I started humming one of the top 40 to myself.
Anyway, the nub and gist of it is that we are now in Hamburger A Go-Go Land forever.
At least Angus and Gordy don't seem too uprooted. That's cats for you.
They are already stalking around the neighborhood (or in Gordy's case stalking into walls because he is cross-eyed) on the prowl.
Angus is hiding his lovesickness for Naomi well. He brought mutti half of a dead bird yesterday. Meanwhile, I am once again in the cake shop of love. Vati had to move us just as I was starting to fall in love with Dave the Laugh, again.
I wonder what he is doing?
I could call. What time is it there anyway?
11:05 am.
Just finished being raved at by vati. Some things haven't changed. He raved at me in England about the use of the phone. He raves at me in HAGG too.
I can't believe that mutti took his side in moving. She always does.
Never mind that she had more red bottomosity than me. She is always flirting with someone. And then giving me life advice?
They told me if I wanted to stay in England, I could live with the elder mad (Granddad and Maisy, his girlfriend who knits things she thinks are fashionable – not).
Uncle Eddie, the baldy strip-o-gram has not come with us, thankfully.
I have serious snog withdrawal.
Yesterday, Libby poked one of her "fwends" in my face, a sponge that is a bit on the Pingy Pongoes side that she named "Bob," after that popular show. She pulled it out of the sink one night while mutti was taking on her maternal duties of cleaning the kitchen.
When Vati tried to get it back, Libby smacked him with Scuba Barbie and called him "Bad boy Tosser."
Oh I love her. She's so cute.
11:07 am.
Except when she leaves her used nappys in my bed. That hasn't changed since we left Shakespeare A Go-Go Land either.
11:30 am.
Lying in my bed of pain, since there is nothing better to do. Today is one month since I've been away from the Ace Gang.
Jas is probably out doing something involving voles with Tom. Rosie and Sven are probably…well that's best left unthought-of, since it probably involves Vikings, dancing, and fur, and not necessarily in that order.
I wonder if they miss me, the central part of the Ace Gang?
11:31 am.
Probably not. I've gone away before and they didn't even seem to notice.
11:32 am.
On the Brighter side, I away from the regime of Stalag 14, especially Hawkeye. And no more berets.
I think.
My Window overlooking the Street
12:20 pm.
There are rather fit boys here in Hamburger A Go-Go Land. I see some of them now going into my neighbours house.
12:21 pm.
One of them is a drummer it looks like. He is fit.
12:22 pm.
Oh no! He must have seen my huge conk from the window! He's looking up here and smiling.
12:25 pm.
It is a yummy smile though. I wonder who he is.
1:05 pm
Though if American boys are anything like British ones, he'll soon be imitating juggling my nungas or something.
Wednesday August 3rd
In my room, as usual.
3:07 pm.
Just found out who the gorgy guy is next door!
Apparently he is my neighbor, Rodrick Heffley. Sounds a bit like Robbie though.
Hmm.
Oh well, I can't be bothered.
Hopefully Hamburger A Go-Go Boys find the big conk attractive in a girl?
Anyway, Vati, leader of Swiss Family Mad, said that the Heffleys want to invite us to their house for a "Welcome to the Neighbourhood" get together tonight at seven.
That only leaves me…too tired to do maths right now.
Must start my emergency beauty routine now.
Must tame the orangutan gene now!
Need to find my concealer…
3:09 pm
Libby borrowed it and my sanitary napkins again. I don't want to know the purpose.
When I ventured into her room for my concealer, she was dressing Gordy up in one of her doll outfits for a tea party.
Somehow, she had roped Angus into it as well.
I still don't see how she gets away with it. If I tried it, I would get my hand savaged.
5:30 pm
Forgot and left my homemade mask on. Thought my face had frozen.
Washed it off, but all it did was make my lurker more visible. I have one of those annoying just under the skin lurkers that hurt right on the side of my conk.
If it gets any bigger, both my nose and my lurker will be going on dates while I sit at home with my cats.
5:37 pm
Mutti is out probably pushing her nungas at one of the neighbors. Snuck into her and Vati's room for her concealer.
Lurker has been covered up.
Now onto the disaster of trying to figure out what to wear.
One of my short skirts or an attractive pair of shorts?
11:57 pm
Phwoar! Just had the best night ever, or at least since I arrived in Hamburger A Go-Go Land. Too tired to talk though.
I'll write more in the…ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Thursday August 4th
10:07 am.
Swiss Family Mad are still asleep.
There was much Vino Tinto involved, as well as dancing from the Stone Ages (i.e. the 70s). I'm not surprised at Mutti and Vati's age. Dancing is dangerous for them as they could throw out a hip or something.
Not to mention the embarrassing sight of Vati squeezing into his leather trousers for all the world, or at least the neighborhood to see.
I am so relieved that we don't have neighbors with humongous shorts next door, like Mr. and Mrs. Next Door. I wonder how big his bottom is by now and whether he has managed to trap himself in his greenhouse.
Surely the Prat poodles miss Angus riding them around like little horsies. Or Gordy being their third brother?
Anyway, raving on and on here like Vati.
The Heffleys.
They served us Hamburger A Go-Go Land meals, cooked traditionally on a spit of fire (or a barbeque). It actually was hamburgers. And "Fries." Why the Americans can't just call them Chips, like everyone else.
They were fab though.
Libby will have a new playmate named Manny. They're about the same age, and from what I understand, are deceptively cute.
Gregory, or Greg, is the middle child. He's a bit younger than me. I wonder what it's like having two other brothers. Thank Baby Jesus and Buddha I only have Libby.
Angus is sort of like a brother.
Greg has a rather chubby friend named Rowley, who reminds me a little of Nauseating P. Green. I don't mean that he wore glasses and blinked at me all stupid-like in a hamster sort of way. I mean more that he doesn't seem to have a good grip on reality.
But he does like to dance.
I showed them my best disco inferno dance, minus my Viking horns, as they are still packed. I think. I suspect they might not have made it from Shakespeare A Go-Go Land.
Then there is gorgy Rodrick.
Oh now, my red bottom is flaring again.
Though, Dave the Laugh and I were not in a relationship exactly. Would you call it a relationship if there is only occasional nip libbing? I mean Lip Nibbling?
Mmm, though I miss that.
Anyway, Rodrick is sort of like if you combined Robbie with Dave the Laugh's sense of humor.
I didn't know whether to go jellyoid knickers or laugh and let my nose run free.
He's in a band called Loded Diaper.
I said that he could come over to my house anytime he wants free inspiration from Libby, especially after Libby has consumed beans. Something always seems to be exploding from her Bum oley after bean night.
He laughed, slapping his knee.
"You sound funny," he told me. "Where are you from?"
"Shakespeare A Go-Go Land," I smiled, remembering to keep my nose in check. Rodrick looked at me funny.
"Is that a country?" I guess I forgot that Americans can't understand things as well, sort of like Jock McThick in Och Aye Land.
So I said slowly, "E-ng-la-nd."
"Oh," he nodded, knowingly, like a knowing thing. I'll have to learn how to speak better Hamburger A-Go-Goese. "The one with the Queen?"
"Yes," I nodded, doing my best impression of maturiosity at all times. I wish had perched some glasses on the end of my nose to make myself look more wise and aloof.
Anyway, Rodrick invited me to one of his band's practices.
So I said that would be "Fabbity Mcfab with double knobs on." Needless to say, he gave me a funny look. I forget they don't speak English here. "That would be cool," I told him, play aloof.
Then some of his mates showed up and he told me "See you later."
Oh merde!
We are now back to the "S'laters" thing. Only I don't have my fab Ace gang. Maybe I can call Jas before Vati emerges from his cave.
10:09 am.
On the phone to Jas, wise woman of the forest.
Jas: "Who is this?"
Me: "Jas, don't tell me you already forgot me!"
Jas: "I don't know anyone named 'me' from America." Then she laughed for ages. I swear it is like dealing with the incredibly dim sometimes.
Me: "Don't tell me you already forgot your best pally!"
Jas: "Well…"
Me: "Jas! This is serious. This is a 's'laters thing!"
Jas: "Non!"
Me: "Qui!" Quickly, we worked out that it probably meant the same thing in Hamburger A Go-Go that it did in Shakespeare A Go-Go. Our conversation was cut short by Vati (in his jimjams no less – I swear people in this house have no pridenosity) yanking the phone cord from the wall. He can be so barbaric. I think I might be adopted.
When I told Vati this, he howled with laugher and said "Right, with that conk!" Then he raved on and on about how he not made of money and that phone calls overseas are expensive. I managed to stop listening at some point, trying to figure out what I would wear to a band practice. Something sophisticated but not too dressed up. I wanted to exude casualosity and glamosity at all times, playing hard to get, like in that book of mutti's that says, boys are a rubber band.
Time to check through my wardrobe.
10:20 am
Can't check in my wardrobe as Angus has taken to sleeping in there and biffs anyone with his paw that opens the door. Libby has come in with porridge all over her face and climbed in beside him, holding Gordy.
Such is my life. Double Poo.
Glossary, for those of you confused or needing a refresher:
Vati - in German, short for father.
Mutti- in German, short for mother.
A Go-Go: added to countries to make them more exciting. Shakespeare = England, Hamburger = America
Osity: also added to make things more interesting.
Fab: short for fabulous.
Och Ay Land: Scotland, and a Jock McThick is a general term for the boys there (Georgia).
With Double Knobs On: doesn't mean what you think, it is just a way of expressing how extra cool something is.
Knickers: underwear or "panties" in America.
Pingy Pongoes: a funny/bad smell.
Nub and Gist: the short and short, the main point.
Snogging: kissing.
Tosser: insult.