Izaya was a quiet lover and no one could have prepared Shizuo for that. Izaya's love was in the silence. It was in the freshly prepared tea in the morning and in the quiet "what should I order for dinner" on occasional evenings. It was in the flowers Izaya sent him when he was sick. It was in the sticky notes he littered his house with. It was Izaya just holding Shizuo's hand when they watched a movie. It was Izaya as he hugged him after a long day.
Shizuo was at peace with it.
Izaya was an expressive lover and Shizuo had not expected it. It wasn't so much as the words that fell out of his mouth but the small actions that he did everyday. Izaya kissed him in the mornings when he left for work and quietly examined him when he came back. Izaya was alert, and observant, always on the lookout for new wounds or scars anywhere on Shizuo's body.
Shizuo loved the attention.
Izaya would drag Shizuo off to small cafes and take him on long walks in Shinjuku. He knew people. He even knew the people he didn't actually know, just by observing them and Shizuo was a little fascinated by all that knowledge.
Shizuo started liking Shinjuku. In Shinjuku, people didn't know him. He could be normal, human. He could be with Izaya. In Shinjuku people didn't know Izaya either unless you were one of those shady people he made deals with. Shizuo thinks Izaya's a devil but all the evidence around him suggests otherwise.
Shizuo doesn't know what to do with himself or for that matter, his relationship with Izaya.
Izaya does not handle conflicts well and no one should blame Shizuo for not knowing that. For being a person who constantly causes conflict, who thrives in chaos, who loves the humanity that emerges in hard times, no one could know he was so bad at handling it.
They fight. It happens. Izaya is always quick to apologize but never changes his behaviour. He doesn't understand that those two are related. Shizuo tries explaining to him and Izaya shuts himself off completely.
The fight escalates and Izaya disappears. He comes back a week later with flowers and pudding and a brand new tie but Shizuo ends up screaming more than he had intended to. His worry, his anger comes pouring out of him, for the first time in words. He's able to express himself. He thinks it's Izaya's good influence. Yet by the end of it, they are no close to solving things than before.
It takes another two weeks and a lot of tentative back and forth before they have established any kind of compromise between them.
During their fight Izaya stops kissing him but ends up sending more and more post its where Shizuo can see them and lots of messages on his phone that he sometimes does not even reply to. When Izaya finally kisses him again, Shizuo is so happy, he cries.
There are things about Izaya that Shizuo does not know. He does not expect it, he sometimes can't predict it. But Izaya is letting him take his time in their relationship and for that he is very grateful. Shizuo accepts every new side of Izaya he sees and he falls just a little bit in love again.
And again
And again