Author's note: I adore the police academy films and was really shocked there wasn't more fan fics on here so I thought I might as well give it a shot. Set shortly after the seventh film. Please read, review, and hopefully enjoy.

Callahan's pov

Callahan sat in her room desperately trying to contemplate what she'd just witnessed. She'd been returning from the gym after she had to stay behind and talk to that little Smith bitch. She really couldn't stand that cadet, she was so arrogant. The girl had the nerve to talk out in class and act as if she knew all the answers, then when asked about her attitude she straight out accused Callahan of envying her youth and beauty. Seriously what was the girl's problem?

Anyway, so she's walking to the mess and is about to turn the corner when she hears, sex noises? Confused at why cadets would risk expulsion for shag she turned the corner to view what can only be described as an inhumane monstrosity, Smith kissing Captain Harris! As in legs wrapped around his waist, tongues down each other's throat kissing. Before she'd agreed to the action her legs were sprinting back to her room, where she'd now been sat for the past ten minutes trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong with the world. A captain with a cadet, well admittedly she wasn't exactly innocent in that department. There was Martin and Nagata but they were serious relationships. Then again there was also: Johnson, Harold, Goldstein, North, McKee, Scott, Chain, and Maze, that ginger kid, Davos, O'Hare, Track and Laura Burns at last year's leaving party. Jesus it sounded bad when she thought about it, but this wasn't about her, it was about Harris. This had obviously been going on for a while now; they were certainly comfortable with each other. It just didn't fit; Harris always followed and enforced the rules, normally taking them too far, why would he cross that line? He hated cadets, especially D-squad. Smith was cocky, rude, and proud, she was good at the job though. They suited actually. She needed someone to talk to.

Walking to the food hall a sudden thought crossed her mind; if she told on Harris he might be demoted, no more Harris, but what if he hit back at her. The man was stupid but he wasn't deaf, at the least he knew about Nagata. She was sure Lassard did too but if confronted he'd have to punish her, damn. She clocked her friends and headed over.
"Where've you been?" Hooks' voice was filled with worry and only made her sound even cuter.
"Doesn't matter, you all know Cadet Smith right?" Callahan was aware she was being blunt yet there wasn't a way to build up to this news.
"The hot one, yeah I've seen her." Mahoney answered cockily, as glad as she was that Mahoney was back at the academy sometimes the man was a pain up the ass.
She rolled her eyes at comment and continued "I've just seen her having a passionate make out session with, Harris." Everyone dropped their jaws in shock and Jones let out a melodramatic female gasp.
"Getting it on with the students, despicable, looks like he's trying to steal your thunder." The others sniggered at Mahoney's comment; he really was a pain in the ass, an endearing one but still…

"We should tell Lassard." Hightower broke the silence. Jones and Hooks nodded in agreement, the others didn't look convinced thankfully.
"Nah, the little prick would deny it all." Tackleberry pointed out, "Plus, even if he admits to it he may be an incompetent turd but when has the man ever gone against the rules, whereas some of us on the other hand…" He deliberately trailed off and looked over to hers and Mahoney's end of the table.
"Don't give me that look, you've shot more cadets then I've screwed" Tackleberry looked offended at Mahoney's reply and she could see another sex vs. guns argument coming on, though the war of words that was becoming a regular and stupid occurrence it had an underlining point because she was sure that Eugene hadn't been on a date since his divorce (Kathleen had left him for a British royal artillery officer). This was sad really because he was a great guy with some impressive muscles, not that she looked.
"If you two ladies could let the matter of sex and guns go for a second I think we'd all appreciate it." Hightower glared down at the arguing officers who immediately shut up.
"We need to find out more about their relationship so we can screw with them, duh." Great another Mahoney plan.
"You know what I think I'd rather not witness that."
"I'm with Jones. I've seen more than enough already." She really wasn't up for another showing of that thank you very much.
"Ohh come on guys, this is Harris we're talking about. It's our moral duty to humiliate him, it's what we do. Now lean in here's the plan."
And so it begins…

Tackleberry's pov

He followed Hooks to the end of the men's rooming hall, camera in one hand and a gun in the other; you never knew when you might need a .44 magnum. They were going to hide the camera in Harris' room to provide visual evidence for his ermmm, affair? Personally he wasn't all convinced about this romance, it wasn't that he didn't believe Debbie but she did say she ran off straight away, she might have made a quick miss-identification. It just didn't make sense, a smart pretty young cadet with Harris? Then what did he know about romance, he lost his virginity in his mid-twenties to a wife who left him for a man old enough to be her father, and now she lived all the way over in England so he only got to see his son in the longer holidays of the year, which was nowhere near long enough. So he was military obsessed lonely single half-father; he definitely wasn't getting a date anytime soon, yet Harris had a hot little fuck buddy, life sucks.
"Just give me a sec to pick the lock." Hooks' sweet voice pulled him from his thoughts and he re-focused on the task at hand.
"You want me to shoot it" She seemed to be struggling with the hair grip.
"I got it." The door swung open to reveal Harris' dull and tidy room.
"Where exactly are we going to hide this thing?" He directed her gaze to the fairly large camcorder in his hand. He doubted how effective this plan would be, the camera's battery wasn't going to last forever and it wasn't going to hide easy either.
"Don't look so unsure we can hide it in-between those shoe boxes atop the cupboard, they look dusty. Plus if they're really as hot and heavy as it sounds we shouldn't have to wait long for our arresting evidence." Hooks looked up at him reassuringly; he rolled his eyes and gave her brief smile then set the camcorder in the said hiding place.
When he turned back to her she was staring at him with doubting eyes, "You don't think it'll work?"
"No it's not that, it's just, I mean, we're talking about Harris here. Smith, yes she's arrogant but she's young and pretty why would she go for him? It just doesn't fit."
"I don't know I've worked with her and she seems to find herself above everyone else, who does that remind you of? And she could be using him for favouritism or high ranking when she graduates, they may even care for each other who knows?"
"It just doesn't make sense to me, maybe Debbie miss-judged." Hooks' glared at him and her face sharpened, "Debbie wouldn't." her reply was blunt and harsh; questioning her best friend definitely wasn't a good idea, dually noted. He nodded politely in return and walked out, waiting for her to re-lock the door.

They walked to the agreed meeting place in silence and as soon as they entered Hightower's room she walked over to Callahan and began whispering to her. He diverted his attention and sat with Jones. Mahoney cleared his throat loudly to get their focus,
"So progress?" he scanned the room looking for a first answer.
Jones raised his hand,
"Moses and I hid the camera in the Smith's room, and it was easy really the place is a pig sty." His answer was promptly followed by some pig snorts. Eugene glanced over in the girl's direction, Debbie had put her mirrored sunglasses on, presumably so she could glare at him for doubting her without the others noticing, great. He looked away and raised his own arm,
"We did the same in Harris' room."
" Good because I think that's where they'll most likely to meet, it'd be easier for her to sneak out then for him to sneak in." This time it was Debbie who cleared her throat for attention, she had taken off her glasses and looked pissed,
and "None of the girls could sneak out without me being aware I'll have you know." She stated blankly, Mahoney gulped, questioning Callahan's job skill wasn't the wisest thing to do.
"Listen Debbie, all I'm saying is that if they're in a relationship their going to be spending nights together." She 'hmphed' in acceptance and put her sunglasses back on.
"Now that we've got that out the way we just have to wait for our little video then we can begin the fun part of the plan." Mahoney said with a devious glint in his eye.
"What exactly is the fun part?" Hightower asked clearly worried, the rest of them looked at him with the same expression. It wasn't that they didn't want to embarrass Harris, it was just that they didn't want to take it too far like they inevitably would.
"You'll see soon enough." With that non-reassuring answer Mahoney left, Jones by his side, the two of them whispering like school girls.

Tackleberry gave a nod to everyone else and followed suit, heading to the gym (he needed to tone up his firing arm). Thankfully the fitness room was empty and he set straight away on the punching bag, he needed the physical release. He couldn't help but be a bit annoyed with his friends; when he'd first told them about his and Kathleen's separation they'd been overly supportive when he really didn't want to talk about it, now that the divorce was finalised and he really wanted to confide in his friends they thought he was over it and were already teasing him, cracking jokes about Kath being a bitch, trying to get him to date etc. It wasn't deliberate but he couldn't help that it gritted on him. He was so intensely focused on his punches that he hadn't noticed that someone else was in the gym until she spoke up.
"Can I have a word?" he turned to see Callahan leaning on the punch bag next to his, wearing very short red gym pants and a tiny white vest, he hoped for her sake no cadets came in now, they'd have a field trip. He nodded in agreement but spoke up before she could,
"If this is about what I said to Hooks I'm sorry if I offended you but I just doubt the situation that's all." He held up his arms in a mock surrender and walked other then sat on the gym's bench to tie his shoe laces, not looking up to see his friend standing over him.
"That's not just it; I want to know what the hell is up with you, your being a real miserable dirtbag recently, especially to me." She was practically shouting at him now and he really didn't appreciate it. He leaned his head into his hands in anger then looked back up at her, anger clear in his expression.
"My wife cheated on me, then left me and took my son with her. That's what's fucking wrong!" There she wanted an answer and she got one. He put his head back in his hands and tried to slow his breathing. She down next to him and put her arm around his shoulders but he shook it off. Unfazed she turned towards him,
"Why haven't you said anything?" Her voice was gentle and sympathetic.
"I tried but all any of you were interested in was when I going to start having sex again." He snapped.
"We just thought you were over her, it's been nearly a year maybe you ought to start dating again."
"You thought I was over her? She was my wife for God's sake! The woman who I lost my virginity to, who I loved more than anything else in the world and you thought a year would cure everything? Then again what do you about marriage? You've never even loved a man." He saw the last words hit her as she turned from him. During the short silence he thought of the time when they were walking back to the academy after a trip to the bar, he was telling her about his honeymoon and she'd said how jealous she was, then told him that she'd never even cared enough to love a man that she'd been with.
"That was harsh." Her words broke the quiet, "If you'd have told us you were upset we could have done something. Bottling it up all your feelings isn't going to help anything."
"What could you have done that would fix anything? WHAT?" He felt his face reddening as he shouted at her.
" I don't know Eugene! I DON'T BLOODY KNOW!" she had moved to stand over him as she all but screamed her reply. He shoved past his angered friend to the punching bag which he began attacking. He'd barely gotten ten punches before strong arms dragged him down to the safety mat, he looked up to see an angry Debbie sat on his chest, clearly intent on staying there.
"I'M TRYING TO TALK TO YOU!" He gathered his strength and flipped them, pinning her arms to the floor as knelt over her.
"WELL I'M DONE LISTENING!" He knew it was wrong to take all his anger out on Callahan but she was just the only one there, and he needed to get the frustration out now. He could feel her desperately struggling to free herself from his grip but he held her forcefully. She was squirming madly but he knew she couldn't break free, strong as she was his brute strength out matched her in this hold down position. As she frantically shook her arms to spin them he realised that his grip must be hurting her and slowly weakened his hold. She immediately turned them over but didn't force him into a hold; she was too weak from before. He sat up with ease yet she still tried to push him under, adamantly reluctant to be over powered. Her face rested upon his as she tried to force him down, it was somewhere in these next few seconds that it began, but how and by who Tackleberry could not recall. For the next thing he knew they were kissing with a fierce passion as her legs gripped tightly round him and they pulled forcefully at each other's hair while their tongues battled for dominance. She licked along his teeth as his tongue caressed her now swollen lip then their mouths began to clash against each other while they fought for control of the lust filled kiss. Minutes later they pulled away; both sweating and radiating heat, panting wildly. The situation then dawned on Eugene and he abruptly stood. throwing Callahan onto the floor as he ran to his room. He really didn't know what to do now.

Callahan's pov

Callahan sat in shock on the mat, the mat which ten seconds ago she'd been making out with Tackleberry on.

Right now three things were clear to her.
One, she had a serious libido problem.
Two, the slight attraction she'd always held for Eugene was growing rapidly now he was single. Three, she was screwed.
The way he'd just ran off was practically insulting, they'd known each other for over ten years and he couldn't bloody talk to her. Actually, it seemed like he couldn't bloody talk to anyone. Jesus Christ she had screwed up. One of her closest friends had confided to her (in his own weird way) and her response was to scream at him, tackle him, and kiss him, not well. She felt like such an idiot, how could they all have thought he was okay? He'd never been with anyone other than Kathleen; of course he was a mess, she'd taken his only son to the other side of the world. She didn't doubt that he no longer loved his ex-wife but she knew the distance between him and his boy must be killing him. Plus, none of his friends had spoken to him when he needed them, her included. On top of that she'd just kissed him! Quite fiercely as well her lip stung like a son of a bitch, and he'd beaten her on the mat! What was coming to the world? She sat up and walked over to her bag, pulling her jogging bottoms over her shorts, she wasn't in the most for ogling trainee cadets. She began a steady walk to the girl's dorms. She needed to talk to Hooks.

Hooks opened the door in pink pyjamas and her rabbit slippers (how could a grown woman be so cute?) she took one look at Callahan and a worried expression took over her face.
"What've you done to you lip?" Her face was full of concern. Debbie inwardly screamed at herself, a lip bruise. How do you excuse a lip bruise?
"Can I come in?" Her voice sounded exasperated and she sure felt it, Hooks stood to the side and strode in then threw herself on the bed. She closed her tired eyes, opening them to the face of her worried best friend who was sat next to her. She sighed deeply and began the long explanation.

She finished her story and looked at expectantly at her friend. Hooks didn't say anything; she raised her eyebrows in a silent question.
"Well I think we all need to talk to Tackleberry about his divorce firstly. As for your little make out session you really need to figure out your own feelings." Hooks smiled lightly at her.
"Okay I get the first part, easy-peasy however; figuring out feelings is hard in this situation, for one thing he's just single, plus we've been friends for years, he's only ever had his wife and I've had whoever I wanted, then again there's always been a mutual attraction, we know each other in and out, he's a great kisser…" She weighed facts up in her head until the strike came,
"But he ran off on me, he was mortified, I doubt that's a way of saying I want to be with you."
"But you want be with him then?" Now it was Hooks looking expectant.
"Maybe, on the other hand I promised myself I'm done with affairs. I've had far too many and if Harris is running round having secret hook ups then I definitely don't want to follow in his footsteps."
"You haven't told me that."
"It's a recent development, very recent." The women giggled together.
"No one said it would have to be an affair though, you're both captains. You could be Mrs Tackleberry number two." She glared at her friend who was laughing openly at her own joke.
"I think that's very forward thinking, irrational too."
"Whatever you say Debbie, whatever you say…" She sat in t conversation with herself; did she really want something serious? With Tackleberry? She kind of thinks she does…
God this relationship stuff was easier when they were spying on Harris', figuring out her own, now that sucked royal balls.