Chapter 1

"Hey Lucy!" Cana cheered, "Come have a drink with me!" She waved her beer in the air, not really caring when some of her beer dribbled down the sides of her cup. After all, she had many other barrels of beer anyways. Speaking of which… "Why am I drinking out of a cup anyways?" Cana muttered to herself. She picked up one of her many barrels of beer and happily began gulping it all down.

"Hey Ice Stripper. Were you the one who drank my hot sauce?" Natsu shouted from across the room.

"Why would I want your stupid hot sauce? Besides, anything you touch is disgusting anyways," Gray yelled back.

"Gray drank your hot sauce? Then he must be the one who ate my strawberry cake!" Erza stood up on a table. "Gimme my cake back!" she shouted at Gray.

"I never ate your cake! Why would I want your stupid cake?" Gray shouted.

"Don't call my precious cake stupid!" Erza unsheath her sword, running towards Gray, causing him to freak out and run into Elfman.

Elfman yelped and bumped into Evergreen. "Why do you always yell about being a man if you're going to be pushed around?" she screamed at Elfman. "That's right!" Elfman stood up to face Gray, "I'm a man." he yelled.

Natsu laughed from across the room, "Beat down the Ice Freak, Elfman! This is great! Don't start yet. I wanna join in, too!"

And the brawl started.

Cana loved guild life. Reading fortunes every day, watching fights every day, sometimes joining in the fight…. More importantly, she loved the amount of free booze she gets every day. She laughed loudly when Gray threw his underpants in Natsu's face and put down her now empty barrel of beer and picked up her second barrel.

"My baby girl!" Gildarts butted in, "Wanna give your dear father a bit of your beer?"

"No. Fuck off old man," Cana grumbled, pushing Gildarts away.

"Aw… but sweetheart…."

"Old man… don't take it personally. I don't share my booze with anyone." she said.

"But you share with Gray!"

"Wait no I don't. Why is Gray drinking my booze?" she mumbled, "Gray! Why the fuck are you drinking my booze?" she yelled at Gray.

"Well you have so much booze! Saves me money from having to buy my own!" he yells back while kicking Natsu in the stomach, knocking him down for a moment. Gray used the moment to take a sip of beer.

"Don't drink my booze!" Cana roared, hurling some cards towards Gray, joining into the brawl.

"Gray drank Cana's beer. Gray ate Natsu's hot sauce," Erza muttered.

"I did not eat Flame Brain's hot sauce," Gray yelled, "I don't even like hot sauce."

Erza wasn't listening, "And that means… Gray! You did eat my beloved strawberry cake!" she came in conclusion.

"I said that I didn't eat the hot sauce," Gray shouted. Erza wasn't listening, running towards Gray and swinging her katana around. "I didn't eat your strawberry cake either," Gray shrieked when Erza swung at Gray.

"Hahaha," Cana laughed, "Serves you right for drinking my booze." She sauntered back to her booze, only to find Gildarts trying to serve himself a cup of her booze.

"My booze," Cana shouted, running faster than she had ever run. She pushed Gildarts off his seat. "That's my booze. Don't touch my booze, asshole." She gathered her barrels of booze and moved to another table.

"Enough!" Master Makarov jumped onto the bar counter, "I don't want to have to pay for guild hall repairs again."

"Popsicle! Watch out, here I come!" Natsu cackled as he sprinted towards Gray, "Fire Dragon… Wing Atta-"

"I said enough!" Master Makarov enlarged his fist and punched Natsu, effectively sending Natsu out of the guild hall… through the wall.

Cana laughed harder and gave Master a huge thumbs up. When Cana first arrived at Fairy Tail, Master Makarov offered a place for her to call home and people for her to call family. For that, Cana has always thought of Master Makarov as more of a father than Gildarts. She needs to get use to Gildarts before being able to call him her father. To get use to Gildarts, maybe she needs more time and maybe more space.

"Cana, my lovely daughter, have a drink with Papa," Gildarts grinned at Cana merrily, marching over to where Cana sat.

"No!" Cana kicked Gildarts in the head, "I don't wanna have a drink with you. And that better not be my beer!"

Gildarts scratched his head nervously, "Please don't get mad at Papa."

"How dare you drink my beer! Get back here!" she yelled and chased after the man who ran away. In the chase, she accidentally tripped Gray, who thought it was Natsu.

"You wanna fight, Flame Brain?" Gray yelled at Natsu.

"You want to fight me, Ice Freak? You ain't ready for this! You're going down." Natsu launched himself at Gray, who launched himself towards Natsu. Natsu accidentally swung the tray that Mirajane was holding down. On the tray was Erza's cake, which was smashed against the floor.

"My cake…." Erza looked at the floor in horror, "My lovely, delicious slice of strawberry cake…. Get ready to die, you two!"

"My tray…." Mirajane groaned, looking at her cracked tray, "My favorite tray…. Get ready to die, the two of you!"

Both S-Class mages joined in the new brawl starting up.

"My booze," Cana wailed, "Spit it out you old man. Gimme back my booze. My booze."

"Stop fighting, children," Master Makarov seemed to really want to cry, "I don't have enough money to pay for damages every single time."

"Well what difference does it make? You already created a hole in the wall," Cana snickered, taking a break from chasing the old, but active man.

You know that I'm a crazy bitch

I do what I want when I feel like it

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