Author's Note - This is my first fanfiction and am in love with Japril. This is just how I can picture the season finale going considering how the past 2 episodes have kicked April around. Not planning on writing my own version of the plane crash because I am still borderline in denial about it happening in the first place! ;) Planning on it being multi-chapter. Any feedback is much appriecated! Please be kind! Oh, and of course. I don't own any of these characters, I just love Grey's.
"I have nothing left." The words she herself had spoken kept repeating in her mind. She doesn't know why it suddenly came to her. Yes, she had nothing left. Her career was in scrambles, her friends were laying on the pity and slowly distancing themselves from her and her failure, her promise to her faith broken, a disappointment to herself, and her family.
As April stormed away from Joe's bar, she realized something. She didn't have to try anymore, she could give up. Frankly, she had nothing more to give, and no one wanted her anyways. Jackson's attempt at kissing her had really forced herself to see herself in Jackson's eyes. Someone to be pitied, and to feel guilty for sleeping with.
"Well, it's hard to pity someone who isn't around" April thinks to herself as she stumbles down the street to her apartment. She makes a quick stop at the liquor store. It's funny, she never understood the urge to drown oneself in alcohol before she failed the boards. Now she gets it, for a brief moment, when completely intoxicated, she can pretend she's someone else. She suddenly understands why Christina and Meredith had such a personal relationship with tequila.
When she finally reaches her apartment, she's suddenly glad that Alex and Jackson are so busy with the hospital and trying to sort out their futures. She finally has a quiet apartment to herself; hopefully it'll stay this way for a while.
Not ever bothering to use a glass April opens one of the bottles of vodka she picked up and takes a slow drink. She drops her purse on the ground, and walks to the bathroom.
Meanwhile at Seattle Grace….
Jackson walks back into the hospital and takes a quick look at the board. He's just about to look for Owen to see if there's anything to be taken care of in the pit when he runs into Alex.
"Karev! Shouldn't you be on a plane?"
"Dude I know, Arizona pulled me off after hearing about Hopkins. Hopkins wants me, and she flipped when she heard that I'm considering taking it." Alex explains quickly.
"Wait… Hopkins? As in John Hopkins? They just gave you an offer?" Jackson replies, somewhat in shock.
"I know, crazy right? And one hell of an offer it is as well, so I'm off to Joe's to do some serious celebration drinking… you in?"
Jackson thinks about the offer for a bit, but decides after watching April slowly self-destruct that drinking is the last thing he wants to do. "Nah, I'm going to stick around here for a bit, see if anything comes in from the pit. Are you heading back to the apartment afterwards?"
Karev pretends to think about it. "Well… if nothing promising happens at Joe's then eventually… see ya!" He laughs and starts to walk away.
Back at the Apartment…
April finishes cleaning the apartment, writing the notes, and the first bottle of vodka. She definitely got a bit teary eyed when writing one for Jackson, but she wasn't really surprised by that. Judging by how fuzzy everything is getting, she decides that it's time to get this show on the road, she's really unsure of how much time she has alone in the apartment, and has decided that she does not want to be interrupted. This isn't a cry for help, and she has nothing left.
She's suddenly very thankful that Alex never got rid of those prescription painkillers from his surgery. He only took a few, and there's more then enough to get the job done. She cleans out the medicine cabinet, grabs her second bottle of vodka, and makes her way to the roof of their apartment building.
Seattle Grace
Word had just gotten in regarding a plane crash, all hands on deck. Jackson hopes that this is some sort of sick mistake. He's running to the ambulance entrance when Own calls to him.
"Avery! We'll need to get Kepner and Karev back here ASAP and neither are answering their pages. Can you get a hold of them?"
Jackson's momentarily taken back "Well, Last I saw April she was drinking herself into a stupor… something about not having any options left, and Karev was celebrating his brand new offer."
Owen stops for a moment, "Well help me get them back here, get them on a drip and sobered up. We'll need everyone. We can deal with whatever issues you and April have with my way of running the hospital later."
Jackson just shakes his head, and runs over to Joe's. He finds Alex quickly, and thankfully he's just leaving. He had finally answered his pages, only had one beer and was on his way back to the hospital. Karev is walking away from Jackson when he asks if he's seen or heard from April.
"Kepner? No, she's not in Joe's… doesn't she still have a few hours on her shift?" Karev asks.
Jackson shakes his head, "Last I saw her she was here doing some serious drinking. I guess I'll have to check the apartment"
Alex pauses and says, "Hey you go back to the hospital, I'll run and pick up Kepner. I probably should sober up a bit more anyways."
On the roof…
April is borderline shocked that she hasn't passed out yet, or thrown up for that matter. Bottle and a half of vodka and countless pills after a lifetime of being well behaved would affect a person more you'd think.
In the end she's glad, this means that everything is actually being absorbed, She's just exhausted. Exhausted of failing at everything, failing at the boards, failing at making friends, just failing. Heck! At least she's getting this partially right.
As she stares up at the stars, she's shocked that she doesn't feel colder. She's starting to fall asleep, and she's wondering why she feels so comfortable. She thinks she hears someone calling her name, but can't be sure as she finally falls asleep..