Hey, I'm back. So I know it's been like forever since I stopped writing this story and finally pulled it. But I promise you the hiatus was well spent. It took some time, and some late nights re-reading the previous installments of this series and watching the whole 4 series of SOA (Which wasn't exactly painful) before I finally broke through my writers block. Yay!

Although I have pretty much finished writing this story (Some bits may seem familiar as I've kept some original parts in this story.) I've left it till now to post because I didn't want to leave you all hanging again if that horrible writers block crept up on me again. So I hope you all understand why I have delayed posting this for so long.

I want to thank all my lovely readers for their support not just on this story but the other two as well. Hopefully I haven't lost you all.

Anyway enough rambling. Here's the first chapter and I aim to update every couple of days. I hope you all enjoy it and please let me know what you think.

Summary: So this is the third instalment, a continuation of Home Sweet Home and Fighting Back.

Follow the story as Jax tries to find the balance between his family and his club as well as trying to get over the disappearance of Nicole.

Clay struggles to stay afloat as greed over takes him and Gemma fights to keep her rein as Queen as she battles with past demons.

Can Samcro survive can Tara and her family. Will they ever find Nicole and what happens if they do.

What happens when all truths are revealed.

Everything Changes

Chapter one.

He tried to listen, even threw in the odd grunt every now and then. He should be giving his full attention to his brothers, he knew that but he also knew that they weren't going to be discussing anything to important, as all the heavy details had already been discussed and agreed upon before their release, so this was just a general catch up. The main source of conversation being Charming Heights and Roosevelt.

Jax rolled his eyes at the thought of the new Sheriff. They'd had the pleasure of running into him on their way back into Charming. He hadn't wasted a second whacking his dick out. Asshole thought he was getting the better of them by warning them that if he spotted any Son that had just be released wearing an SOA cut that the cut would become his. Yeah right.

No brother would willingly hand over their cut, especially to a piece of shit copper. They would rather die first.

Thinking about Roosevelt just made his mood even worse. He was so over this right now all he wanted was to be left alone. Left alone so he could think about what he was going to do. So when he heard the Clay slam down the gavel Jax was on his feet and heading for his dorm without so much as looking at his brothers or even the rest of his family that were waiting in the bar. He needed space.

Closing the door to his dorm he was drawn to the bottom door of his night stand, or more to the hidden bottle of Jack Daniels inside. Pulling it out and uncapping it he took a large and much needed drink from the bottle before dropping onto his bed.

He had been counting the months, weeks, days and hours till his release and finally the day had come. He was a free man and he should be ecstatic that he was back where he belonged back with his sons and the woman he loved but he just couldn't do it. When he had pulled into the T/M parking lot he felt his chest expanded with joy when he saw everyone's family and friends lined up outside but it quickly vanished when he scanned all the bodies and remembered that she was still gone. And suddenly his happy family reunion wasn't so happy and his family wasn't so whole.

He tried to think positively, tried to reminded himself that Nicole was a fighter and she would be okay, that she was probably living the high life somewhere, Charming and everyone in it but a distant memory. But no matter how hard he tried to convince himself he knew that it was a lie.

Nicole was tough no doubt about it, growing up in the MC had made her that way but at the same time she had two weaknesses.

Weakness one. She ran.

Whenever something got too much, or to difficult then she ran, it was like her default which is why when Gemma broke the news to him that Nicole had gone he wasn't exactly surprised. And he wasn't surprised that they hadn't found her, that was another thing she was good at, another thing that growing up in this life had taught her, how to cover her tracks. Nevada proved that.

But it was thinking about Nevada that made him nervous for her. She ran to Nevada because she couldn't cope in Charming after all that shit went down with Darby junior but she ended up running back home when she ended up getting herself into trouble. Trouble that left her battered and bruised.

That was weakness Number two.

It had been 14 months without any word from her and considering the situation that had made her run, the situation that he was to blame for, he was worried that she was going to find herself once again in a whole lot of trouble, that she couldn't handle.

He took another large pull from the bottle of Whisky.

He knew he shouldn't have listened to Clay, he should have gone with his gut and told her the plan, rather than trying to warn her with stupid hints that he knew she would never get. Who would get them?

His free hand ran over his weary face and up over his freshly cut hair. Falling flat onto the bed as he closed his eyes trying to silence the doubts and what if's.

"Hey Baby." Propping himself up on his elbows he saw his mother looming by the doorway. He sat up properly and rolled his eyes when he heard his mothers heels move closer to him. And when she took a seat beside him he knew he was in for one of his mothers famous lectures.

Gemma placed her hand over his. She was worried for her son. She knew that he was struggling with Nicole's disappearance, but she thought that being out seeing Tara, his boys may have taken the edge off the bitterness that had materialised during his stay in Stockton, and she thought it had until he stopped himself, made himself remember that she was gone.

He was taking the fall, shouldering all the blame for her disappearance but It wasn't his to bare. This is what Nicole did, it was her MO and Jax knew that which is why he shouldn't be beating himself up, it wasn't going to help anyone especially his family that needed him. Tara had done well but now, as her Old Man Jax had to step up to the plate be the man. They needed that from Jax and so did the club.

"She did good." Gemma informed. She watched the small twitch on her sons lips as he allowed himself to actually smile.

"Yeah." Jax had no doubt that Tara would cope. If it had been a year ago he may have been worried that she would bail like before, but after Kohn he knew she was finally in their relationship for good just like he was just like he had been even during their 10 year gap.

"She kept her shit together." Gemma leaned over and grabbed the bottle out of his other hand that was dangling by his leg in attempt to hide the bottle, but she'd clocked the bottle of Jack before he even realised that she was standing at the door. "Now you have to handle yours." She told him firmly pulling the bottle out from his hand.

Jax bit at the corner of his lip, his eyes turning away from Gemma. He knew she was right but he couldn't just forget his cousin especially being back here, there were just to many memories.

"She'll find her way home baby, always does." Jax let out a ragged breath. Getting to his feet he ran his fingers over his cropped hair again as he tried to push down his anger.

He was sick of hearing that shit. Of course at first the whole club was doing there bit to try and find her but they just kept coming up with nothing and as time passed everyone believed that she had done what she had before, took some time out to sort herself out just like Nevada, and it was after Clay reached that decision that everyone started offering comforts to him, She'll find her way home, she'll be okay, she's a fighter. It didn't comfort him in fact it just pissed him off, because people just didn't get it. This wasn't like the last time.

"I swear I hear that shit again..." He trailed off to angry to put a proper sentence the floor for a second or two he found his way back to his bed where he sat down next to his mother again. "I just want to make sure she's okay, I NEED her to be okay."

"We all do baby but this..." She shook the bottle of Whisky in front of him. "Isn't going to help find her is it?"

"What am I supposed to do, it my fault..." This time is was Gemma's time to get angry.

"No it's not, this is what she does this is how she deals. Remember Nicole is not stupid." Jax huffed. Nicole may not be stupid but she knew how to get herself into some fucked up situations. Ignoring his obvious disagreement Gemma continued. "She runs Jax you of all people know this and if she had got herself into some trouble then you also know this would be the first place she would come to."

"No not this time. She believes that this club killed me."

"Yes she does." Gemma snapped growing tired of this self pity bullshit party her son was throwing for himself. "But just like you and Op she was raised in this club, she understands it. She may hate what she thinks this club did to you but trust me she also understands why. She will come home Jax, that I promise you."

"So what I'm supposed to just sit back and do nothing. She could be anywhere she could be DEAD and you expect me to nothing." Again Jax had found his way to his feet but this time losing his fight to keep his growing anger contained as he stood toe to toe with his mother who had also jumped to feet, her own anger starting seep out.

"Your supposed go out there and be an Old man to your Old Lady and a father to your two sons, the VP to this club." Gemma's hand reached into the back pocket of her skin tight jeans where she pulled out a small paper brown bag. Taking hold of one of Jax's hands she shoved the bag into his palm. "The one you wanted. Now are you going to be the man I know you to be, the man your Old Lady needs you to be, or are you just going to keep hiding out here, going over old shit that can't be changed. The choice is yours but you better make the right one Jackson." Gemma closed his hands around the bag and walked away from him.

On her way out she bumped into Kozik who standing in the doorway. Neither her or Jax had noticed his presence till now, but Gemma hoped that maybe realising that one of his brothers may have just been witness to his little pity party that it may have given him the wake up call as to how pathetic he was being.

Brushing past Kozik Gemna stormed down the hallway the click of her heels echoing throughout.

"Clay's ready to head out man." Kozik told him as he eyes left the retreating Queen and went back to Jax, who was placing whatever it was that Gemma had given him into the inside pocket of his cut.

"Al'right man I'll be out in a sec."

Kozik gave a slight nod of his head before turning his back on him and forcing himself out of the room.

As he walked down the hall to go and get Jax like Clay had asked him to, he couldn't help but overhear the conversation taking place between Jax and Gemma.

And although he knew that he probably shouldn't be listening he found himself staying put and leaning in closer so he could hear better.

He could hear the sombreness in Jax's voice as he spoke. The man was clearing hurting, the loss of his cousin had effected him more than himself or any of his brothers had originally thought. And when he heard Jax say that he just needed to know if she was okay Kozik almost ran in there and told him, but he hadn't because what he had to say would probably just make things worse.

He needed more, needed something solid.

Stepping out into the parking lot he strolled over to his bike retrieving his helmet that was hanging on the handlebars. Before he put in on he noticed Juice a few bikes down, he was exactly the person he needed. Replacing his helmet he made his way over to the computer whiz kid.

"Hey man." Juice looked up from his bike that he was straddling and looked at Kozik from behind his black sunglasses.

"Kozik, what's up man?"

"Well I kind of need a favour, shit I know you just got out..." Kozik ran a hand over his spiked blonde hair as he second guessed himself for like the millionth time. "You know what..doesn't matter man." He had already turned away from him whe Juice started calling him back.

"Hey..Look, it's fine I don't mind helping a brother out. And as for just getting out, look around. Think about what we're just about to do, shit we'll all probably end up in lock up by the end of the day." Juice answered with a smirk on his face, a smirk that Kozik returned.

They were just on their way to create a diversion so that Jax, Clay and Opie could get away from the eyes of the law that were currently and probably would be until further notice living up their collective asses. So Juice was right, what they were about to do was worse than what he was asking, well maybe.

"Right." He agreed his thumb rubbing over his eyebrow.

"So what's this favor?" Kozik snaked his cell from deep inside his cut pocket and scrolled through his contacts until he found the number he was looking for.

"Think you could trace this number get an address or some shit." Kozik asked forcing both the words out of his mouth as well as showing him the number. Maybe this isn't a good idea. Kozik thought to himself as he toyed with the idea of changing his mind yet again.

"Sure." Juice grabbed the cell from Kozik and copied the number into his phone before handing it back to Kozik who was rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.

"I'll run the number see who took out the contract and where, piss easy, shouldn't take long."

"End of the day?"

"Yeah no worries." Juice handed him back the phone. He looked nervous as hell. Curiosity getting the better of him Juice opened his mouth. "So this some chick you've tapped or you wanna tap?" The cheeky smile Juice had on his face disappeared when Kozik's face darkened.

"What? What did you just say to me?"

"Uh..I just...I thought..."

"Well I'm not asking what you think I'm asking you as a senior brother to fuckin' do a job. Now if you can't fuckin' manage that without making fucking dipshit remarks then I think were gonna have a big fuckin' of a problem here."

"I'm sorry.."

"So we got a problem or.."

"No.." Juice shook his head for emphasis. "No problem. I shouldn't be asking this is your business not the club's."

Actually it probably is the club's business. Kozik thought. But until he knew more for now it was his.

"Just find out what you can." Kozik uttered his tone easing. Looking at Juice's scared face Kozik started to feel a little bad for losing it with him. God all this was driving him mad. "Whatever you find just come to me first okay." Juice nodded. "I'll explain everything." Slightly confused by the last words, Juice decided to keep his mouth shut afraid that he might offend the blonde biker again. So he gave another nod his head in a silent agreement.

The meeting with the Russians hadn't done much to improve Jax's mood. Putlova, the man responsible for ordering the retaliation, that left Jax with three small puncture wounds just below his left peck had just tried to screw them over again this time for money.

50% The Russians were demanding for holding their guns and it was total bullshit. He was glad that Samcro's relationship with them was coming to end. And it was because of that, that he didn't pitch a fit in the Jelly Bean and kill Putlova right there.

Opening the door to the home he hadn't stepped inside of for 14months, he took a minute to let his eyes look over everything. Nothing had changed which he was thankful for, it was a comfort because everything else was changing and unfortunately he knew that there was more change to come. Some good but most of it bad.

Closing the door and moving further inside his house he was met by the one thing that actually made him smile, a true smile that reached his eyes. He loved the woman standing in front of him and truly had missed her.

"Hey." She spoke in that angelic voice he had missed many a night as he tried to sleep on the uncomfortable cot in his cell. "Kids are ou..."

She never got to finish. Jax had closed the gaping hole that lay between them in two massive strides, his arms wrapping around her perfect little body that he'd been craving to touch, caress, trail kisses all over. He lifted her off the floor and pulled her close as he buried his head into the crook of her neck, a small girlish giggle escaping from her lips.

"I missed you." She said seriously as he put her feet back on to the floor. Her eyes staring deeply into his as her hands cupped his face.

"Me to."

"I love you."

"I love you more." It was corny shit, as soon as he said the words he wanted to kick his own ass for being such a pussy, but it didn't change the fact that the words were true. He loved her with all his heart and always had. She had changed his world and soon she would find out exactly how much but first he had something much more important he wanted, no something he needed to do.

Another squeal fell from her lips as he threw her over his shoulder and carried her into their bedroom laying here on the bed where he planned to ravish everything inch of her.