Posted on my LJ as well. This is to break myself out of my writing funk.
To Want
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How many nights had it been now? He didn't know, and wasn't keen on making the calculations, choosing instead to try and hold on to the remnants of his sanity. Which was hard, very hard. Made harder by the young man who had taken to occupying the space next to him. Right next to him.
The fingers of his left hand clenched into his thigh as he willed himself to not glance at his side. He did anyways, his bright eyes creeping ever so slowly to look at the naked man that was pressed to his side. Bronzed skin met his gaze and he gulped, shifting his eyes back to the ceiling, willing himself to sleep, to ignore the sight beside him. His body ached to take him or, or at least do something! His mind, however, refused to allow him the indulgence even while his hands twitched in the auburn haired man's direction before jerking back.
Maybe this wouldn't be so painful if he would just accept it, but that wouldn't be acceptable by any stretch of the imagination. Even if, in the dark of the night, sometimes, he could admit to himself that he wanted so much more from Italy than this, he needed to keep up appearances for his government. But, even that was beginning to wear thin and his mind would scramble for a new reason (excuse) while his hands would reach, reach and yet never grasp. He had a feeling that one day, it wouldn't matter to him anymore, and he'd be free to pursue who he wanted.
Every muscle in his body went completely still and tense when Feliciano shifted, his face pressing to his chest, arms wrapped tightly around his waist and then sighed when he stopped moving. Then, he rolled to face the lithe man and brought an arm over him, pretending, even to himself, that he had done this by accident when he'd rather wake him up and perhaps kiss him senseless, for a start.
No, this wasn't what he wanted.