Summary: He loved her more than anything. And it was for that reason that he left her.

Untouchable Butterfly

He knew she was different.

From the first day, he could see the spark that lit up her dark eyes. She was determined to find greatness, and even on that very first day, he knew she would be granted it.

He watched her as she progressed, showing her stubborn side and fighting to get into as many surgeries as possible. She was driven, as driven as he was, and he could not help but find that attractive.

And, Good Lord, she was beautiful. Her curls were untamed and dark; her eyes alight with a fierce need to rise above everyone else. A longing grew in his heart every time he saw her. The need to learn everything there was to know about Cristina Yang was overpowering.

He stayed late at the hospital often, painfully aware that she was there as well, eagerly awaiting the chance to meet a challenging opportunity and gain more experience. He studied her as she made friends with Meredith, the daughter of the legendary Ellis Grey, noting that she was loyal and kind….at times.

And he wanted her. It was unimaginable, he would argue with himself, for an attending- one who would become Chief of Surgery one day in the future- to date an intern. But she wasn't just an intern; he would say to himself, she was the most talented, confident, brilliant, intern of them all. And so it went. The arguments that warred in his mind grew louder and louder until he had to do something.

He brought her coffee.

As entirely juvenile as that might have sounded, he never brought coffee for someone other than himself. It was a baby step, he told himself, a baby step. And he could see the suspicion that raged behind her raised brow, but she took the coffee, and he peeked at her while she sipped it. The beverage gave him more joy than he could have hoped.

He was beginning to see that she was annoyingly independent. She cared for him- that night in the on-call room proved that- but she did not seem to notice just how deeply those feelings were returned. He wanted to protect her and hold her and love her, but she pushed him away repeatedly. He needed her to be with him in every sense of the word. Her stubbornness was tiring, and he had the feeling that he might need to pound the idea into her head a few times before she truly saw what he meant.

They were together now. Cristina was happy, he reminded himself. And yet, he wanted more. He wanted to wake up to her face every morning, to wrap his arms around her as she slept. There were days when he wanted to break something, anything, just to extinguish his frustration. He could not get through to her, but he would continue to try.

He loved her. She was his world, the only thing that mattered more than surgery and his dreams. He wanted to give her anything and everything that she wanted. He knew she did not want to hear it. Not yet. Ever since she moved into his apartment things had been good between them. Starting another argument would not be a good idea. But as he gently hugged her to his chest as she slept, he could not help but to whisper, "I love you, Cristina." It was small, he knew, but it was something.

He heard her when she whispered the words in his ear while he slept. He knew she thought he was sleeping soundly, but in actuality his heart was pounding quickly in his chest, the smile creeping up onto his face as she said the words back. "Burke. I love you too."

He felt weak. Powerless. A million thoughts were running through his head. What if he could never be a surgeon again? He needed her, he needed Cristina. But she was not there. His hand was imperfect, maybe never fit for surgery again. The blow was unbearable, yet she was not here. He felt broken, defeated. And then she appeared. Her hand grasped his, warmth. Strength. Angel.

A shaking hand. His life was ruined. And then she offered him the option to stay perfect. To stay Preston Burke. And he grabbed his hope and ran far with it, Cristina's presence by his side. And he was guilty, he knew, but when he stood in the O.R., his fingertips just millimeters from a heart, his head cleared. And she was still there.

The truth came out at last. And though it was irrational to blame Shepherd for his unusable hand, he could not help but to research other neurosurgeons. Anyone else. And what if, he thought, he would never operate again? He wished for one last surgery, one last moment, but it was too late. Cristina angered him. She had gone behind his back to the Chief. It was her fault that he was vulnerable, perhaps never able to operate again. So he refused to speak to her, and she to him. The silence was not comforting.

And then…she spoke. Her words sparked life in his veins, love pulsing through his heart. He was Preston Burke. He would operate again. And he would make her his.

"Marry me."

It was their wedding day. He stood at the alter and smiled, his eyes alive with a happiness that radiated inside him, his heart so full he thought he might collapse. And then she was not coming, she was not walking. She was supposed to walk and meet him and love him and promise him forever. And so he walked out to meet her and he stared at her one last time, wishing he could freeze the moment forever, wishing he could go back and have her. And it killed him to watch as her eyes widened, as tears blurred her vision, as she gazed at him in disbelief. He only wanted to be better; he only wanted to be good enough.

He loved her. He wanted her more than he had ever wanted anything in the world. But she was a butterfly. He could watch and admire her and even hold her for a time, but eventually he had to let her go….Let her go so he couldn't hurt her anymore. If he damaged her wings, he could never forgive himself.

And though he would miss her forever, he was given the chance to touch the untouchable.

-End-

I just loved this couple. I cried for hours when Burke left Cristina, and I was desperate to write something that portrayed him in a better light. He says, in the end of the episode, that if he really loved her, he would let her go. So he did….. And even though Isaiah Washington should have been kicked off for what he did, I just don't think Grey's Anatomy is the same without Preston Burke.

Rose