Author's Note - Had the urge to be creative and wasn't sure where to post it, thought "Misc." section might fit, as it is miscellanious. ;-) Warning: I did not read it after I wrote it, so if there are mistakes, PLEASE tell me. I 3 constructive criticism!
"Going for a run?"
I ignored the voice, knowing who it was before I even looked in the direction of the doorway. My room was messy, more than it should have been, but me throwing things around might have something to do with that. I threw my deep red comforter back onto my twin-sized bed, clearing some space on the floor for me to search for my desired pair of black sneakers. They were missing, and i'll be damned if I was going to let them stay that way. Were they in the closet? Psh, phat chance of that. They should be under the bed, like they always were, like i've always kept them.
"She moved them into the closet." The voice spoke again, and I suddenly wished that my older brother would go away and leave me to my misery in peace. I squeezed my eyes shut, praying that when they opened again that six foot tall brunette boy would be gone from the doorway.
I opened my eyes: he was still there. Damn him. Derek strode across the room, pushing a pile of old VHS tapes that were on the floor out of the way so he could open the closet. He reached inside for a moment, before pulling out the black shoes I had previously been searching for.
I muttered a small thank you, taking the sneakers as he threw himself onto my bed.
"Now why is my Blondie upset?" he asked. I didn't answer, untying the laces and sliding my beloved black shoes onto my feet. He paused for a moment before joining me next to where I sat on the slightly stained carpeting.
Don't get me wrong, I love my brother, but he needs to learn how to take a hint and get the hell away from me. One would think he would know by now after my seventeen years of living in the same house as him.
"Who moved my sneakers?" I asked, my green eyes finally meeting his matching pair. He didn't answer, just looking at me. "Oh, right, mom was in town this weekend."
Our parents were divorced, like most were. Mom, or Andy as I called her, lived in another city, in another country, on another continent. We don't hear from her much, and I like to keep it that way. Dad, however, is my hero. The failed mystery writer who lives off of cult-classic horror films, and chinese take-out. He's somebody I can relate to, and I praise whatever higher power there is that I get to live with the coolest guy on the face of the earth, rather than that woman who drinks tea with her pinky in the air and likes tweed suits. Ew. Derek likes her well enough, even though I think he's just being polite for her benefit. Dad let's her crash here when she's in town despite them not being able to speak civilly to one another.
"You never answered my question." I didn't intend to either, why I was upset was absolutely none of Derek's business. Why I was upset was my own concern, and mine alone. He doesn't care if Jason and me got in a fight, nor should he care about the fact that anytime Jason's blue eyes even so much as turn in my direction I have to hold my breath because he's just so damn beautiful and-
I was doing it again. Thinking about him, I mean. I try not to do that as much as possible, because I know that the jerk will never return my feelings. We were only friends, and sometimes I wondered if our friendship was one-sided. Why wouldn't it be? He was perfect. He was popular, smart, outgoing, athletic, absolutely breathtaking, and possibly one of the nicest people that have ever-
Stop it, Nicole!
"You had a fight with Jason?" Derek asked, and I mentally slapped myself. Was there any sign on my face that i'd been thinking about him? Probably, I wasn't the most discreet person there was. "You were just next door at his house, weren't you? What were you arguing about?"
"He told me he didn't like the band Vengeance," I replied cooly, pulling my long blonde hair into a hair-tie so it was up and out of my face. "Clearly, I can no longer associate with that loser."
"Cut it out!" I snapped, snatching the remote from the enemy. There was no way in hell I was spending my Saturday morning watching sports highlights. I started flipping through the channels, hoping to find something that would irritate the hell out of the dark-haired teenager that was sitting next to me. HGTV? No, that would irritate me too. Hm...black-and-white re-runs of some old show that ceased to exist before we were even born? Gag me, please. Cartoons! Yay!
He didn't speak, biting his tongue as he gazed at the plasma screen on the wall.
"Mind if I join you on your run then?" Derek asked, standing as I did. "A little friendly competition never hurt anybody, a race around the block-"
He was still talking, but I tuned him out.
"So I asked Bianca to Prom." Jason finally said, not bothering to look at me. I knew why he didn't, he was afraid he'd see the disappointment written all over my face. If he had looked, that's exactly what he would have seen. Shrug it off Nicole, put on your happy face, and say something sarcastic.
"The idea of Prom is totally overrated," I replied acidly, eyes narrowing slightly at him. I said sarcastic, not bitchy! "Who the hell wants to spend hundreds of dollars on a night that's gonna suck, in a hotel that totally sucks, and then have nothing but totally suck-y memories of the entire event?" Very articulated, Blondie, nice usage of the word 'suck'.
He ground his teeth, "Forgive me for wanting an enjoyable evening before I leave to go to University. Believe me, if I had wanted the evening to suck, I would have invited you."
Ouch, that burned a little.
My dad once asked me why I ran when I was feeling emotional about something. I think my reply was, "Would you rather I beat up some poor random stranger instead?" When something pisses me off, obviously I want to hit something, but I choose to take out the adrenaline on the pavement. There was nothing like the feeling of the ground beneath my feet as I watched the suburban houses pass me by. I always made it to the county line, and swore that one day i'd cross it and leave this cookie-cutter community behind me.
When I do cross the county line though, i'd like to be driving so I don't have to turn around.
"Bianca is so...so..." I struggled to find the appropriate words, gesturing with my hands as I did. "Trashy! I mean, do you really want to go to Prom with the school SKANK?!"
He laughed, "Your one to pass judgement." I found myself glaring, and he choked on air as if just realizing what he had said. "Not that your...trashy, or a skank by any means. I just mean that you shouldn't throw stones at other people when you get so irritated that they're thrown at you."
Yeah, you better make up some crappy lie to make me feel better.
"I'm assuming you won't be attending then?" He asked me, his eyes locking with mine. I studied his face for a moment, he was tanner...must have been from the yardwork he had done yesterday.
"That obvious?" was my answer.
"So?" Derek was still talking, and I forced myself to nod. Wait, what did I just agree to? "Okay, three laps around the block. Winner picks movie rentals tonight." As long as they weren't musicals or silent films, fine by me. I wasn't going to beat Derek, I wasn't stupid enough to tell myself that I was. The boy was more than half a foot taller than me, ran track when he used to attend my current school, and gets up to jog at 5:00 am.
"Not surprising. You were never a school spirit type of person."
Sorry I have more pressing things to do on a Friday night then hear cheerleaders yell "Go Team Go!".
"Also not surprising that your not going off to college."
Wait. What the hell was that supposed to mean?
"What the hell does that mean?"
"Just as a heads up, I haven't been keeping up with my jogging while i've been away at school." Derek warned me as we made our way through the hallway, and down the wooden staircase. The house smelled faintly of alchohal, which made me think that Dad was working. He said liquor helped him think better. I think he just likes to have a buzz while he's plotting a murder for his next non-bestselling novel, as if being a little drunk is an excuse for all the evil thoughts that were running through his mind.
"I just mean that you've never had much ambition," he explained. "Part of me thinks that your happy being an underachiever and that you'll never get serious about things like...your future. You can't rely on Daddy forever."
He stole the remote back from me, putting on his sports channel again.
"I don't rely on my father for everything, I do have a job y'know."
"Right, planning on being a grocery store cashier for the rest of your life?"
It was warm outside. Scratch that, it was hot outside. Barely into May and it was definitely atleast ninety degrees outside. Kids were helping their parents wash their cars down the street, barbequing was happening next door, and my neighbor Ms. Janyce was out, pulling weeds from her garden. Everybody seemed content. I thought it should be raining, to match my mood. I wasn't angry, like everyone believed.
"It's normal to not know what you want out of life, Nicole. It just bothers me that you don't even attempt to figure it out."
I know what I want, I wanted to tell him. I want you. I don't care what the hell happens in the future, as long as your part of it.
"Is any of this even getting through to you on some level?" He asked me, annoyed. "I don't...I don't understand you."
I don't know why I constantly let this guy, my supposed friend, talk to me like he thinks i'm a total loser. It bothers me. I'm not going to pretend that it doesn't bother me to hear that he only thinks of me as somebody with no drive, and no ambition. If it was anybody else, I would've punched them by now, and told them that they suck. Why couldn't I just do that to him? Oh yeah, cause I was in love with the jerk.
I never answered him, unaware of what to say.
"Big shocker, Blondie once again avoids what she can't stand to think about. Is it so much to ask that you talk to me? On an intellectual level for once? I want to discuss college, I want to be able to tell you my plans and feel that your actually excited for me. I want to get excited for you over something other than you beating your brother's high score at some stupid video game! I want you to come to University with me, because I know that your so much better than this hell-hole we call a town, and I wish that you knew it too."
Derek and I stood next to each other, on the side of the road.
"You sure you want to do this?" he asked with a smile. "I'm still pretty sure I could kick your ass."
"I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen."
I wasn't pretty sure, not of that or of anything. There was something I was sure of though: I was going to go over to Jason Valcouve's house later on, tell him that i'm sick of disappointing him and everybody else and that I was going to actually try from this point on. Then I was going to tell him that he wasn't taking that skank Bianca Newman to Prom, that he was going with me. If he throws that back in my face and laughs, so be it. If he doesn't? Yay!
Maybe after that I would take another run and cross the county line. After all, if I was suddenly feeling courageous with Jason, and practically promising him that i'd put some effort in finding out my life's ambition, then maybe I should do what i've always said i'd do and leave....if only for a few minutes. I do know that i'm better than this hell-hole we call a town, and it was about damn time that I start showing it.
"Blondie?" Derek said, breaking me away from my thoughts.
I hesitated, unsure if this was the route I should take, then paused, taking a deep breath, and ready to feel the wind in my hair and the ground under my feet.
"Game on."