Memories of Summer Skies and Tear-filled Lullabies
By: Shannon Collins
Summary: A sequel to Memories of My Heart. Seven years after MOMH we join our couple in the midst of a blissful family life. Then tragedy strikes threatening everything. Will they be able to endure the pain ahead or will this tragedy ruin their happily ever after? One does not need to have read MOMH to jump into this story.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or names of characters. Both are property of the creators of Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, Beth Sullivan, and the CBS network.
"Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose."
Ch.1
August 21st, 2017
As the words she had dreaded hearing since early that very morning slipped from his lips, she could feel the blood running through her veins turn ice cold. This couldn't be happening… Everyone had said it wouldn't be true… But it was true… She had just heard it. He had truly just said it. Her heart started racing as the overwhelming panic gripped her. This was really happening, and there was nothing she could do to change it. Nothing… She gripped the hard plastic arms of the chair hoping to gain some control as she began to slip from the world around her. The voices surrounding her faded to an almost inaudible level as everything slipped into a foggy haze. She struggled to calm herself down as her breathing became more labored by the second. The word 'no' slipped softly from her lips as utter disbelief plagued her expression. The world before her faded completely as she fell into the darkness. But before she left the world completely, she saw his blue eyes staring back in fear. She reached out to him slightly, but it was too late. She could fight it no longer...
May 21st, 2017
His soft lips brushed against her cheek, as his warm arms surrounded her in a close embrace. She took a deep breath as he whispered in her ear, "Hey sweetheart we have ta get up." She began to fight her way out of the confused haze of sleep, struggling to gain complete consciousness as her dreams slipped away and were replaced by familiar surroundings.
"Hey," he spoke as her eyes fluttered open making contact with his own.
"Hi," she replied kissing him gently as she snuggled in closer.
"You know we need ta start breakfast soon," he explained softly.
"Hmmm… laying here is much more fun," she mumbled in return.
"Yeah it is," he said with a laugh. He gently loosened his grasp from around her and sat up slowly.
"Don't get up," she muttered closing her eyes again.
"Katie and Hannah will be up any minute," he returned.
"They know where we are," she said softly, clearly drifting back to sleep.
"Come on," he urged as he nudged her slightly.
She groaned in return before sitting up slowly and looking into his crystal blue eyes. As they sat in silence smiling at one another, she was suddenly overcome with intense nausea, which reflected itself very clearly in her expression.
"You okay?" he questioned in concern.
"No," she answered before jumping up from the bed and retreating to the bathroom.
He followed quickly behind her, as his ears were soon filled with the sound of violent vomiting. He took a seat beside her and pulled her long hair into his hand, holding it out of her face. With the other hand he began to rub gentle circles across her back hoping to soothe her any way he could. She coughed one last time before sitting up slightly, and he quickly reached for a towel on the cabinet, handing it to her gently.
"You alright?" he spoke looking directly into her eyes.
"Yeah. I think so…" she responded in an unconvincing tone.
"You don't look so good. Maybe you should go lie down for a while," he suggested clearly very concerned.
"No, I think I'm fine now," she answered as she pushed off from the ground to stand.
As she took a small step forward, he saw her waiver and grabbed her waist quickly before she fell.
"Whoa, come on you need ta go back to bed," he exclaimed his concern for her building.
"No, I just stood up too quickly. I have to get the girls up, or we'll never be ready for church," she returned.
"I'll take care of the girls. 'Sides I don't think you should be goin' ta church anyway," he said as he placed the back of his hand on her forehead.
"Sully, I'm fine. I promise," she spoke sincerely.
"Well, ya don't feel hot, but ya certainly don't look fine either," he explained as he picked her up in his arms.
She placed her arms around his neck, as he slowly carried her back to bed. He placed her down gently and draped the blankets on top of her.
"You're making a big fuss out of nothing. Really I'm fine," she said again.
"Throwing up and almost passing out ain't fine. Ya need to stay in bed," he said in a somewhat stern tone.
"If you make breakfast I'll stay in bed until it's finished," she responded hoping that would be enough to get him to drop it.
"Okay," he agreed hoping she would fall back asleep. Then, he could simply leave her in bed.
He gently kissed her forehead and turned the light off in the room before making his way down the hallway to wake his two daughters.
"Daddy, what are you making?" his young six-year-old daughter asked. She looked over at him as she hung over the counter, her knees grounded on the wooden bar stool.
"Pancakes," he replied as he continued to pour the batter into the skillet.
"What's inside the pancakes?" she inquired leaning over slightly further.
He gently pushed her back with his arm slightly. "Honey, you're gettin' too close. Ya need ta back up a little," he spoke in concern.
She quickly obeyed before asking, "What's inside them?"
"I think ya know," he answered with a grin.
"M&Ms?" she shouted excitedly.
"Yep! I put 'em in there just for my favorite blue-eyed girl," he returned affectionately.
"That's me, right?" she questioned with a wide grin.
"Right," he answered simply.
"What about Katie though?" she asked looking towards her younger sister.
"Katie doesn't have blue eyes," he replied.
"No, guess she doesn't. What color are her eyes?" she inquired.
"Well, one is green and the other is brown," he answered as he continued to pour the batter into perfect circles.
"Why are they different?" she asked knowing this was not a usual occurrence.
"'Cause they are just like your ma's eyes."
"Mommy has real pretty eyes," she returned.
"Yeah, she sure does," he replied dreamily as he could picture them clearly.
"What's the bowl over there for?" she wondered as she pointed to another bowl of batter.
"That batter doesn't have candy in it."
"How come?" she asked clearly not tiring of asking twenty questions.
"Your mommy doesn't like candy in her breakfast," he returned.
"She's crazy then," she said with a giggle.
"Mmm I have ta agree with you there," he said with a chuckle. "What about Waddles?" he asked gesturing to the stuffed penguin to her right.
"He likes candy in his pancakes, too. He's not crazy!" she exclaimed.
He laughed even harder in response, as he flipped the pancakes over.
"When is mommy getting up?"
"Mommy isn't feeling too good, so I'm going to let her sleep," he explained.
"Is she sick?" she questioned in alarm.
"Yeah."
"Oh," she replied sadly.
"Don't worry she'll be okay," he spoke softly as he placed a finger under her chin, raising it up slightly and looking into her eyes. "But don't wake her up alright?"
"Okay, Daddy," she answered. "What about Katie think she'll wake her up?"
"No, I think Katie is a little busy there," he said as he looked over to see her fanatically scribbling in a coloring book on a Crayola table in front of the television.
"Yeah," she said with a giggle.
"Wanna go sit down at the table?" he asked.
"Why?" she returned.
" 'Cause your pancakes are ready."
"Yeah!" she cried before sliding down from the bar stool and making her way over to the table.
"Katie, sweetie breakfast is ready," he called, but she didn't respond.
"Katie, M&M pancakes are at the table waitin' for ya," he tried again.
"Yeah!" she cried as she grabbed a stuffed unicorn from the couch behind her and ran towards the kitchen table.
As she scampered past Sully, he quickly grabbed her and pulled her into his arms.
"Whoa, Whoa slow down there or you're goin' ta hurt yourself," he exclaimed through her delighted laughter.
He placed her in the wooden chair next to her sister and quickly joined his girls for breakfast.
"Mommy, wake up!" Hannah cried as she peered over her mother's sleeping form.
"Hmmm," Michaela replied opening her eyes to see the young girl before her.
"Mommy, are you okay? Daddy said you were sick," she asked in concern.
"What? Honey, I'm fine," she answered.
"Why didn't you have breakfast with us then?"
"Because your Daddy didn't wake me up," she said in frustration.
"Can you braid my hair? Daddy tried but I think it looks silly," she questioned as she tugged on the light blond braid in her hand.
She smiled to herself looking at the mess of hair in her daughter's hand.
"Go get a ponytail holder and the brush off my dresser. Then, come sit in front of me, and I'll do it for you," she spoke through a yawn.
"Yay!" Hannah shouted in happiness.
She jumped down from the bed and bounced across the room to retrieve a colored hair band and the silver handled hairbrush. Michaela smiled as she climbed back onto the bed handing both requested objects to her mom. As Michaela began braiding her hair, Sully walked into the room exclaiming, "Hannah, I told ya not to bother your mom, she's sick."
"She said she wasn't," she replied.
"Well she is. Now come on and let her sleep," he said in irritation.
"She's fine Sully," she replied slightly aggravated. "I told you, I'm not sick. Why didn't you wake me up? Now, I'll never be ready!" she cried in exasperation.
He simply shook his head in response. Sometimes he couldn't understand her stubbornness.
"I didn't wake ya, 'cause you shouldn't even be goin'," he answered.
Before she could respond, they both heard a voice call from the doorway, "Daddy!"
Sully looked towards the little girl clad in tights and a pajama top, and he quickly arrived at her side.
"What princess?"
"Where did you go?" she wondered aloud.
"Ta find Hannah. And it looks like she's buggin' Mommy," he explained.
At the mention of Michaela, she pulled back and ran pass him to the bed. She attempted to climb up and join her mom and sister but struggled immensely because of the bed's height. Sully turned and saw her struggle, and he quickly scooped her in his arms and placed her beside Michaela. She stood up moving behind her mother with her stuffed unicorn in hand.
"Mommy!" she cried wrapping her arms around Michaela's neck.
She quickly tied off Hannah's hair and turned slightly, smiling at Katie before pulling her into her lap.
"Hi sweetie," she returned sweetly as she placed a kiss on Katie's cheek.
She held up her unicorn, and Michaela kissed the stuffed animal as well.
"Do you want your hair done too?" she asked the sweet brown-haired girl.
"Yeah!" she cried in happiness.
"Hannah, honey can you grab another ponytail holder from the dresser?" Michaela prompted.
Hannah nodded in response, but Sully quickly jumped in stating, "I got it," and tossed her one.
"Thanks," she replied with a smile as she began to fix Katie's hair. Hannah moved over to her mother's side sitting as close as she could, her thumb in her mouth. Sully soon joined them on the bed, and pulled Hannah into his lap.
"You look beautiful," he said with a smile looking down at his daughter.
"Thanks," she replied snuggling close against his chest.
"Mommy, Stop!" Katie cried fidgeting to get away from Michaela's grasp.
"What's wrong?" Michaela replied in confusion slowly pulling her hands back.
Katie quickly crawled to the edge of the bed and turned around sliding down to the floor.
"Honey, where are you going?" she questioned as Katie tossed her unicorn into Michaela's arms before running into the bathroom.
She smiled and laughed to herself as Sully quickly joined in on the contagious laughter.
"Guess she really had ta go," he said through a chuckle.
"That's Katie for you," she said with a smile. "Always waiting until the last second."
"What time is it?" she asked as their laughter died down.
"10:15," he stated.
"I'm never going to be ready," she answered sliding off the bed and pulling the door to the walk in closet open.
Hannah quickly jumped off the bed to join her asking, "Mommy what are you going to wear?"
"I don't know," she mumbled as she rummaged through the closet.
"I think you should wear this one," Hannah exclaimed pointing to a pale pink, silk, cami dress with asymmetrical layers of ruffles making up the skirt of the dress, as well as gracing the top hem.
"You do, huh?"
"Yep," she replied with a nod.
"And why's that?" Michaela questioned teasingly.
" 'Cause you look real pretty in it," she returned.
"And because it looks a lot like the dress you happen to be wearing?" Michaela responded unable to suppress a grin as she looked at the pale pink dress with a cascading waterfall ruffle hem on the beautiful little girl in front of her.
"Maybe," she said before running to her mother's side and wrapping her arms tightly around Michaela's legs. She gently placed a kiss on Hannah's head before picking her up in her arms and cradling her tightly against her chest.
"I love you so much sweetheart," she whispered as she held her close.
"I love you too, Mommy," she returned as Sully appeared in the doorway with Katie in his arms.
"I'm goin' ta finish getting this one ready to go. Ya still plannin' on going with us?" he questioned.
"Of course."
"Alright. Hannah come on let your ma get ready."
"No, I want to stay with her," she cried placing her head back down on her mother's chest.
He glanced towards Michaela to see if she objected, as Hannah wrapped her arms even tighter around her mother's neck.
"She's fine. She can stay with me," Michaela replied knowing she didn't have much of a choice.
"Alright then. Come on Katie lets go pick out a dress for you," he said to the little girl in his arms.
"Okay," she replied with a smile as she made her unicorn kiss his cheek.
"Hannah, I've got to take a shower," she explained looking down at her sparkling blue eyes.
"Okay, I'll watch TV and wait for you," she answered.
"Sounds like a plan," she stated as she kissed her daughter on the cheek and set her down on the bed.
She grabbed the remote from the dresser and flipped on the Disney channel before turning to Hannah and asking, "Do you have all of your markers and coloring books ready to go?"
"Yep."
"Okay," she said with a smile before shutting the bathroom door behind her.
"Mommy, you are so so pretty," Hannah said affectionately as she watched her mother put mascara on her lashes and lipstick on her lips.
"Thank you, but I'm not as pretty as you miss Hannah," she returned glancing at her daughter's reflection in the mirror.
Hannah grinned in response quickly asking, "Can I wear some makeup too?"
"Come here," Michaela said as she turned around to face her daughter.
"Look at me and relax your mouth," she requested.
Hannah obeyed, and she traced the light pink lipstick onto her daughter's lips.
"There," she said with a smile, and Hannah quickly turned to look in the mirror.
"I look like you," she returned with an even larger grin.
"You do," she returned affectionately.
"You know whom I haven't seen this morning?" she questioned, as she watched her daughter who was clearly mesmerized by their similar reflections.
"Who?" Hannah inquired.
"Molly."
"She's in my room, but she's not ready yet," she explained.
"She better get ready soon don't you think?" Michaela questioned.
"Yeah," she replied triumphantly before retreating to her room to dress her doll.
As soon as she reached the doorway, she saw her father leaning against the frame. He had obviously been watching the exchange between mother and daughter. She was about to call out his name, but he stopped her by placing a finger over his mouth indicating he wished her to stay quiet. She nodded in response and skipped out of the room. He made his way across the room as quietly as possible. As soon as he reached the small vanity, he wrapped his arms around his wife, placing a kiss on her cheek.
"You look amazin' as usual," he stated.
"Thank you," she returned before turning around to face him.
"You sure ya feel okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine," she said with a small laugh. "You worry too much."
"I can't help it. Ya know I can't live without you," he returned genuinely.
"And you won't have to," she said with a smile. "Is Katie ready?"
"Yeah. Her hair is still a little messy, though. I managed ta get a somewhat decent ponytail in her hair, but you made need to fix it in the car."
"Thanks for taking care of everything this morning," she said as she stood up and wrapped her arms around his waist.
"You are such a wonderful husband," she continued glancing up into his eyes.
"Good thing I am or it wouldn't be fair," he returned.
"And why's that?"
" 'Cause you are the most perfect wife and mother in the world," he said with a smile pulling her in tightly against his chest.
"I love you so much," she spoke as she took a deep breath relishing in the comfort of being in his arms.
"I love you too," he returned as he claimed her lips with his.
"Did you pack the girls clothes for the park?" she asked.
"Of course," he said with a smile. "Did ya want to eat something really quick before we go? I saved you some pancakes."
"No. Maybe I'll have some crackers or something…" she trailed off.
"Thought ya said you were fine?" he asked becoming concerned again.
"I am, but I want it to stay that way," she explained.
"Alright," he replied hesitantly.
He glanced down at her as she closed her eyes tight for a brief second. She took in a few deep breaths hoping he wouldn't notice the lightheaded feeling that had suddenly overcome her.
"What's wrong?" he asked as she opened her eyes.
"Nothing," she said hoping he would believe it.
"You're lyin'," he answered knowing she was holding something back.
"No, I'm fine. I'm going to grab some crackers before we leave," she said pulling back slightly and making her way towards the door.
"Okay," he replied reluctantly vowing to keep a close eye on her as she departed for the kitchen.
He couldn't help but smile as his beautiful wife lay in his arms. It was a gorgeous spring afternoon, and he was sitting comfortably on a blanket under a large maple tree watching his girls play on the jungle gym a few feet away. It was one of those perfect moments that didn't come around every day. He knew this was the perfect opportunity to ask her the question that had been on his mind all day.
"What are ya thinkin' about?" he began.
"Nothing, really. Just about how happy I am at this very moment, " she said with a small smile.
"I've got something ta ask you," he said as he ran his fingers through her hair.
"Hmm?" she replied her gaze fixed on the girls.
"You know what's comin' up soon…" he trailed off hoping she would fill in the blanks.
"Honey, I'm sorry hang on a minute," she stated quickly. "Hannah, don't go down the slide that way!" she called out slightly aggravated.
"Hannah I'm serious! Don't make me come over there!" she exclaimed once again.
Hannah quickly realized she was being watched very closely and obeyed her mother's request immediately.
"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" she said turning the frown that had graced her face seconds before back into a smile.
"What?" she asked when he simply gazed into her eyes in response to her question.
"You're just so beautiful," he said affectionately.
"All right, what do you want?" she questioned as she gave him a playful shove.
"Why do I always have ta want something?" he said with a mischievous grin.
"You don't always have to want something. However, I know that you do," she said with a knowing look.
"Well, I was wonderin' if you could take some time off from work here soon…"
"What for?" she replied, although she was still clearly distracted.
"Michaela, they're fine," he said as he gently turned her face towards his.
"I'm sorry. I worry about them on that playground. Katie is too young to be playing on it," she explained with concern evident in her tone.
"No, she's fine. You worry too much."
"I know and I'm sorry," she answered softly knowing he must be frustrated only receiving part of her attention.
"Don't be sorry. Just means you love them. But really they're fine. I wouldn't say that if I didn't really believe it," he said as his hand gently caressed her arm.
"Yeah okay," she returned, finally looking away from the girls and into his eyes.
"So, think you could get some time off?" he gently prompted.
"When?"
"The 9th of June," he said with a smile.
"What day is that?" she asked still not realizing the significance of the date yet.
"A Friday," he returned simply.
"Yeah, I can do that. I'll just schedule surgeries around that date…" she said breaking out in a wide smile mid-sentence as she finally connected the dots.
"Why the 9th? Any particular reason?" she questioned, although now fully aware of the reason.
"I think ya know," he answered.
"I do, do I?" she answered in a teasing tone.
"I hope ya do. Otherwise I will throw a fit just like one of Katie's right here, right now," he responded trying to hold back his laughter.
Upon hearing his words, she broke out into that contagious giggle he found so incredibly sweet.
"Could it have to do with the very special day that falls on the 11th?" she asked once her laughter died down.
"It could definitely have ta do with that," he answered still refusing to reveal everything.
"Aren't you going to tell me?" she pressed after a few moments of silence.
"I haven't decided," he replied.
"What do you mean you haven't decided?"
"I don't know whether I want to tell ya, or just surprise you," he explained.
"Well as much as I love your surprises you are going to have to tell me more than what you are telling me now."
"And why is that?"
"Because I have to know what to do with the girls," she explained hoping to convince him to reveal more information.
"I've already worked that out," he answered in confidence.
"Oh, you have?" she said somewhat skeptically.
"Yeah, of course."
"So, I just need to take the 9th off of work?" she questioned in disbelief.
"Yep."
"And that's all you are going to tell me? That and the girls are taken care of?"
"Well, I guess I will tell ya one more thing. We are going away for the weekend," he returned still refusing to reveal everything.
"I kind of figured that out," she said with a laugh. "Where are we going?"
"I'm not telling ya," he replied, refusing to give any more information than was absolutely necessary.
"How will I know what to pack then?" she questioned thinking she had forced him into revealing more.
"I'll pack for you," he answered thrilled he had deflected another attempt.
"I don't think so," she said shaking her head. "I know how you would pack."
"And what's that suppose to mean?" he returned trying to suppress a grin.
"Well, you would pack a few swimsuits and lingerie and call it done," she teased.
A wide grin spread across his face as he replied, "That sounds about right."
"So, really though, where are we going?" she asked once again hoping for an answer this time.
"You'll see," he said still standing his ground.
"You are talking in circles here. How am I going to pack?"
"Look in my suitcase and see what I brought and pack accordingly," he answered.
"All right," she said realizing she was defeated. "Who's taking care of the girls?"
He gently shook his head replying with, "You are so nosey."
"I am not!" she cried out indignantly.
"Yes, ya are. And I know you won't drop it 'til I tell you, so Becca and Edmund are watchin' them," he explained.
"What?" she stated in shock. "They shouldn't have agreed to that. They just moved out here. They haven't even finished unpacking yet."
"Yes, but they want ta spend time with their beautiful nieces that look so much like their mother," he said with a charming smile.
She was quickly won over by his charm replying, "You sure they are okay with it?"
"One hundred percent sure," he said with assurance.
She nodded slightly before snuggling deeper into his embrace. "You've got me so excited now. You know how crazy it drives me not to know what you are planning…" she said.
"Yes, but I also know how surprised ya are when you finally find out what I'm plannin'," he answered.
She closed her eyes breathing in his intoxicating scent. She always felt so safe and secure in his arms no matter how many years passed. She smiled to herself thinking about the way he still looked at her. It was as if no time had passed. He still looked at her the same way he did the day they met. A look filled with such intense love it seemed to blaze directly to her heart. Even after nine years together, he still managed to surprise her. She started to run through ideas in her head of a way to surprise him. After all he seemed to have her anniversary present already planned out. She had to come up with something equally wonderful. Little did she know that one of the biggest surprises coming their way neither one would see coming…