A/N: Just a sweet little angsty Dramione one shot I thought of. Takes place during sixth year, doubts and confused lovesick feelings ensue.
He held her, and even when she shyly pulled away he kept her fast, brought his face down to hers and smoothed his hands over her hair.
"Draco," she murmured, a bit distracted, as his hand trailed down her back. "Yes love?" he looked down at her, amusement covering his features. "Stop. Im serious, we need to talk about this." She looked up at him hesitantly and found herself nose-to-nose with him. She was caught like a deer in headlights as she looked deep into his surprisingly silver eyes.
The brown orbs that Draco got lost in daily; widened in class when she knew the answer, followed by her hand shooting up, stared back at him, eyes big as saucers, a million questions running through her mind.
"Hermione, can't we ignore all of this- Everything we're doing wrong right now. And just do it. I want- I need to talk... I need to just be with you." his hands trailed through her hair, and in the airy castle hallway, Hermione welcomed the warmth. His slight touch to her jaw ran a chill through her spine and tingles up into her nose. She could've sworn his hands were shaking.
Bits of snow were trailing by, blanketing the sleeping earth. That Invisible sound, the small sigh of the snow as it reached the ground and covered it in a magical dust, tinkled in the air around them, making the atmosphere safe and serene and treacherous about them. It could turn deadly at any moment.
The snow distracted them from what little time they had.
"Are you cold?" she went up to touch his hand. She wouldn't usually back down from this sort of conversation (especially with him), but she could feel the delicate weight of the situation on her shoulders.
The snow, falling heavily, blanketed them from anyone unwelcome to see them across the courtyard. And a slight yell from some students(come on! Kiss him! It's only a kiss!)- buzzed from an overload of butterbeer- trickled out the main hallway leading to the Great Hall. The laughs tugged at Hermione's heart, and it beat faster against Draco's chest. He could feel it, and knew the fear in her heart from getting caught in a hallway alone with Draco Malfoy.
He ignored her question hanging in the air like ice.
Gryffindor had won the last match of the season against Slytherin. An air of celebration had hung in the air like the mistletoe-so much so that the teachers hadn't even bothered to control the party going on in the Gryffindor common room- and even less so with the late stragglers around the castle.
His eyes slanted down at her and he took in Hermiones face, the open windows blew in a new gust of snow around her shoulders, and she shivered, pulling herself into him for warmth. She sheltered her face into his chest, mumbling something incoherent -probably calming words- and Draco could feel her lips moving against him. He leaned his head up towards the sky, feeling the snow drops melt hotly against his face, and sighed. She was scared- deathly afraid Of being caught up in this ridiculous mess, of being caught with him here, of what Harry and Ron would think, of what Dumbledore would think, of what her parents and frankly what the whole wizarding world would think(He personally just wanted to look her dead in the eye, and say, *fuck it, fuck them all.*But he guessed she wouldn't appreciate his vulgar attempt at consoling her. )And she was afraid for him.
They had both been fighting so hard. Hermione had seen what Harry had to go through.. Hardly sleeping from being plagued by dreams of the Dark Lord; Draco was losing weight and hardly sleeping either, with his task at hand; Ron was getting restless and worried, as was she.
Although he didn't seem to be all that worried now that he was attached at the hip to Lavender Brown.
And Hermione hardly slept either. She stayed up at all hours of the night, reading if she could, to keep her mind off what was ahead. Trying to avoid the dangerous maze in the way her brain calculated the outcome of every possibility for them. And this was only just the beginning.
He hadn't really realized it, it hadn't sunk in, until just then. With the snow falling around them outside in the courtyard. The hallways filled with Christmas decorations and mistletoe, It was so easy to forget the rest of the world and it's troubles. But they were still there, waiting outside the protection charms, making Hogwarts into a snug little snow globe, with the real world tapping at the glass.
He had found her in a stairwell near Gryfindor tower, and he had been wandering the hallways, just like any other night, contemplating what he would do. Her eyes had been red rimmed but he hadn't asked, and they had silently taken up to walking around the castle. Draco found it funny that she hadn't even expressed her fear of being caught out after hours. But he supposed the ring of holiday spirit was effecting them all. She hadn't scuttled away from footsteps and sounds of ghosts and she had even glared at peeves. Which made him laugh and think of how well shecould have done in Slytherin (if she hadn't, and this was an important factor) been so righteous in her choices.
He was glad he wasn't Peeves in that situation.
Draco had been noticing the changes in their relationship for a while now. He didn't analyze it, of course, he wasn't one of those, but they'd definitely gotten closer... And less violent. Closer figuratively and literally, he thought, as he looked down at Hermione, clinging to his chest.
Hermione realized the closeness and intimacy between them almost immediately after all her confused thoughts had subsided. She pulled away and then missed his warmth, radiating in waves off of him, melting the snow that fell onto his sallow, worried face. Tangling in his golden eye lashes and dissolving when he blinked. He had smelled like musk, and something forgotten. Something hidden away. Hermione wondered if you could smell forgotten-ness, and wondered about the memories that went away with the forgotten. Her thoughts finally brought her to a seventh floor corridor. Filled with rebellious fifth years angry and ready for the blood of the ministry. Secret messages and burning coins, like the dark marks of those of the death eaters.
And that's what he was, after all; a deatheater.
She moved her whole body away from him and started walking down the hallway. She had known the whole time; Harry had known, he'd proposed his theory on the train ride into Hogwarts. But her and now the lovey-dovey bunny Ron had shot down his idea ("that's ridiculous, Harry, got enough nuttiness inside your skull already?")
Hermione drew in a few breaths and choked on the crunchy bits of snow hanging in the air; whirling in the updrafts.
When she started to cough, she felt Draco come up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders, bracing her with his frame, although she was never sure from what. Even when she looked back on that moment.
"I don't care," at first his voice caught, but he swallowed the cold, cleared his throat. "I don't care what some old men who wear masks and to gallivanting after muggles have to say." it all came out in a tumble from his throat, and when Draco had imagined this moment a million times before it had never gone like this. He squared his shoulders back, glad he wasn't forced to make eye contact. "You've helped me. Immensely. You've kept me up with my schoolwork and put up with me when I've treated you like... Like mud." Hermione seemed to think she was treated worse than mud, he could tell by the look on her face when she turned toward him, but he pushed on. "Worse than that, really. I've gotten frustrated and sickly and I've lost a whole lot of weight," he forced a chuckle out, here. "but you've been here and you've been wonderful and you've looked up all thee things in the library and just your common knowledge has helped me pull through."
"Are you getting somewhere with this?" she was cross; one hip popped out, hands across her chest. "Yes, I- every time I think about how you've helped me get through this- and it's not even half over- my chest hurts. Like I owe you something." she cocked an eyebrow at him. "When you leave I feel so lonely and everything comes rushing back to me. Whenever I think of you... Think of what could happen to you... It hurts so much I forget how to breathe.". He paused, despite his claim he was breathing very hard now, he was short of breath, and it hardly felt cold outside now.
Hermione could feel the internal battle in him. Trying to get the words out, trying to keep the words in. Sixteen years of upbringing in a deatheater house hold was wearing away at his bones, pulling him down and tangling human morals with his own beliefs. "I just remember how much I owe you and yet you say I don't owe you anything at all and thats true friendship- friendship I've never had before." she had gotten closer to him during his little speech, without him noticing. Perhaps that was why he was burning up. "Is this friendship?" she asked, her brown eyes almost golden in the light of the lanterns shining through the windows into the courtyard. To answer, Draco took one last dive; he pushed his fears to the back of his mind- pushed an outraged Granger, the resounding slap that could follow in mere seconds if things went wrong- to his unimportant thoughts.
He closed the gap between them, his hands naturally finding the small curve of her back and wrapping around her waist. He found her lips and teased them with one, delicate; their first kiss.
- and hopefully not their last. His tangy lips and the brush of his nose against her cheek and the musty smell of the Room of Requirement around them. The kiss rocked her to her core and caused her eyelids to flutter closed against the soft dark of the night. Everything she had thought before, about how this was wrong; how everything was against them, all that evaporated away with his warm lips. He massaged them against hers and teased them with delicate kisses and light nips. She smiled away into the dark that was just in front of Draco's nose.
She felt him start to pull away and she hurrahumphed in protest. But he just shook his head at her. The feeling between then fell away from Hermione for a moment, and the December cold slipped into her heart and made her scared.
Draco saw it in her eyes, shook off his chains like the snow flecks on his shoulders, unclenched his jaw and told her what he had been holding back.
"One more thing; I don't care much about anyone else, to put it frank. I know that's very selfish of me and adds even mOre to the list of why I'm not good enough for you. But I don't. I've never realized that caring about someone doesn't have the mixings of the feeling fear in it as well. You've shown me how to really care for someone and that's not a lesson I get taught every day." she blushed up at him, ""I hardly know you at all but i really want to.. And it makes me want to get to know you even better for that. I cant even put it into words.. This whole thing will play itself out. It was supposed to happen, everything happens and you benefit from it in some way. We've already almost made it to the other side, we just have to embrace it. I cant even relax when i think of you.. Everything is so different in your world.. Its so righteous and i dont even want to think i just want to do. We've still got a little time."
Hermione couldn't think of anything witty to say at the moment. Her heart was beating the speed of a flying snitch and Draco could feel it through her inadequate sweatshirt. "Don't you have a decent coat?" he said, breaking the moment and leaning back to look down at her. Her whole expression changed. "Now? Really, Draco?".
"Well that's the first time you've used my first name, Hermione." he grinned at her smugly. Emphasis on her name. "Well, there's a first for everything," she said, bringing back his earlier sentiment. "Yeah, I owe you Hermione.". Draco went back to being serious, but she didn't adjust well with him. "Yeah?Like what?". She wrapped her arms around his neck and felt the material draped there. Then, even surprising herself and not really understanding the meaning behind it, she winked.
Draco mock gasped at her and raised his eyebrows. "Anything. What would you like?". He got comfy and snuggled his arms around her waist again. "Well.. For starters," she said, glancing around like a child up to mischief, "Id like one of those again." she nodded at him with her eyes on his lips. "Well, I can manage that," Draco smirked through their sweet, flirty moment and Hermione almost groaned at his Slytherin look. "But first, get that *thing* off your face."
"Any way you suggest I get it off?". She turned him her cheek and gave him a sly smile, slightly shaking her head. He nodded back at her.
So she stood on his tiptoes and kissed the daylights out of him.
"I won't disappoint you, I can do that myself. But I'm glad that we're here, that we've talked about this."
"I've hardly talked at all!" she said indignantly, back up at him. But she understood everything crystal now. Nudging his boot she pulled him along from where their hands were intertwined.
Draco grinned down at her and let Hermione pull him along, enjoying the little gesture. "That fits you."
"What?"
"Your smile. It fits you."
The snow swirled around them as they made their way into the center of the sheltered courtyard. Unaware of anything but the crunch of fallen snow underfoot and the slight wind. Only surrounded by their world of possibilities. Draco pulled his ski parka up to his nose and dragged Hermione a bit closer to him. When she snuggled in, he knew that they were in this for good, together.
Forever working out the pages of textbooks and tiny scrolling know-it-all words that danced before candlelight across the page. He shook his head, bemusedly at the sky, a slight smile on his face. Just the unfamiliar stretch of muscles across his cheeks reminded him of Hermione's words. 'You should do that more often.'
Baby, baby, baby, light my way.
A/N: Sorry I couldn't resist putting a little U2 in there. I know this isn't a spectacular oneshot at all(is it now a song fic?). It's my first and I had started the beginning of this a while ago. Please review! Please please please! I love feedback and even if it's criticism(constructive, of course!) I'll appreciate it much! Thanks for reading(: