KUDOS AND THE BBC OWN ALL THINGS [SPOOKS]. I OWN THIS STORY AND ALL ORIGINAL CHARACTERS.
AN. Like many people, I didn't like how the script writers ended series 9 of [spooks] I simply didn't see that Lucas North would do what he did even for the love of his life. I certainly didn't believe that he would end his life the way it would appear he did. One night, I started writing a story set post series nine, but with a twist or two.
It's Only A Pretty Picture
There was silence, for the first time in what seemed hours but it must have only been five minutes... then I could hear the sirens getting closer and closer. Why had she been there, she told me she was taken Aeryn out to the swings for the afternoon and then that damn playgroup.
My precious girls, life before them seems so long ago, and now... now Chloe was lying in my arms, my hands soaked in her blood. In all my years at Section D, I'd never felt such dread, felt as helpless as I did now. Where the Hell was the ambulance? I vaguely remember screaming down the phone that I needed help and then calling Dimitri, begging him to take his Goddaughter away from this scene of carnage. Aeryn, God my daughter the apple of my eye... she'd turned one a week ago. Now, I knew there was a chance we were going to lose her Mother
"... Baby, my sweet girl, you have to hang on... the ambulance it's coming I can hear it now. I need you, Aeryn she needs her Mummy. Please Baby; there is no life without you in it..."
The ambulance men pushed me out the way and I staggered back away trying to think straight... House? Yes, that was it. Need to lock up the damn house. Not there was much left of downstairs.
Chloe had put up a good fight before... Jesus... before that... before the knife. All I could think when I found her is damn my career, this man is going to die for even breathing the same room as my girl. From what I could tell, he'd broken the door through where Chloe and Aeryn must have been playing judging by the bears, and bright coloured toys strewn all over the floor... God knows what she must have thought, or done to protect our little girl. There was furniture smashed and broken all over the room, the lamp I'd bought her on a rare trip to Camden Market smashed apart, I'd remembered buying it for her as she'd spent an hour staring at it. I hated the thing, simply not my taste but Chloe wanted it so she got it. I'd give anything to see it sitting next to the couch again. Taunting me for simply being loved by her... To see something normal in this chaos. There was the bear I'd bought Chloe for our first Valentines Day, a little white bear with a massive heart declaring 'I love you'. The heart was missing, much like my own. There was pieces of the coffee table all over the place, and all the blood... my beautiful girls blood all over the walls and floor, her hand prints running a macabre pattern over the walls till they just stopped where I'd found her.
My clothes were soaked through with her blood, with the life force of the woman who was the reason I'd woken up these last few years. In amongst it all, I'd found Aeryn crying out for her Mama over and over again ... the desperation in her tiny voice as Chloe didn't reply, why her Mama wasn't holding her tight against her. How long had my little girl been there like that? It looked like Chloe had managed to hide Aeryn behind some of the now tipped over bookshelves, my fighter thinking only of our precious baby... A sign of hope, in this darkness. As long as Aeryn was alive I had to believe that we could get through this. Till I looked at my hands soaked in red and the sickness hit me again as I ran to the car... nothing mattered now. Nothing but praying for some kind of miracle, I can feel that ring burning a hole in my jeans, it's been there for a month maybe more and I'd been too scared to ask her. To tell her that life meant nothing until she was mine. Till I made her my wife, it can't be too late. It just can't...
I must've been driving well over 100mph but it was still too slow, time would stand still till I was looking into those beautiful blue eyes again. God damn it I would hold the doctor at gunpoint if I had to make sure she came back to me. I ran through the door of the emergency room screaming for her...
"Chloe Morgan... where, how, where is she? I need her... please I need her..."
I could feel the tears running down my face, Lucas bloody North was crying. For the third time in my adult life I was crying and I didn't care. I wanted my girl, and I wanted her now. Chloe Morgan, my little gorgeous girl made me cry, made me be a man. Crying was no longer a weakness that haunted me; it was a strength to show I could experience joy and pain like everyone else.
The nurse was talking but I could only take parts of it... something about punctured lung, operating on her now... how I'd helped keep her alive... All of it was lies. This was my fault. My entire bloody fault. I'd been careless. There had been warning signs that Erik was back in the UK, reports had been coming in and I'd dismissed it. Jesus Harry, Harry is going to bloody kill me before the night is through. Think of the Devil and he shall appear. The man, the mentor... the one person, who truly believed in me before her, was in front of me and I broke down. Again.
"They won't let me see her, she's in surgery and I need to be there, I don't care what they say. Bloody two bit know it all nurse, what does she know? My heart is lying on a cold table fighting to live and I need to see her... I need to tell her. I love her Harry, I need her. Without her... I wish I'd died that day. She brought me back to life; she made me see who I could be. Aeryn and Chloe... my girls, God Harry... Aeryn, she needs her. I need her..."
Oh bloody Hell, I was babbling... Where was the cool man I was every day? Oh yes, he'd broken apart the moment his life fell apart. I could see Harrys face, the mask he wore at work gone, here was a man whose heart was as broken as mine. My legs gave and I sat down on one of those god awful plastic seats you can never get comfortable on. Why, why not give you something that you could at least sit on? I can't be the only man over 6 foot who'd like to not feel like I was about to fall out of a baby chair! Not much to ask for when you feel like you're dying from the inside out...
I knew deep down, that I was being unfair, that they were trying, fighting, to bring my brave beautiful girl back to me... The moment she opened her eyes I'd be there. If it took all of my life I'd show her what she meant to me. Work stopped me doing the normal things a boyfriend did, I forgot our anniversary once, never did it again though. I didn't dare bring flowers to say sorry again after seeing her face that night. A small chuckle escaped my lips at the memory, Harry stared at me in amazement... but I was lost to the memory... Chloes face said it all... she is barely five foot four and I was scared by even inch of her.
"You forgot? How could you forget that a year ago, we lay side by side in Regents Park and finally kissed? I remember every second of it... because when your lips touched mine, I felt complete. I knew I loved you Lucas..."
The yellow roses I'd bought her to apologize the following night were thrown straight at me, took me three days to be forgiven. That and a trip to some little jewelers store in Covent Garden to get her a ring she'd fallen in love with. Didn't matter how much it cost, she forgave me and I told her I never forgotten that day either.
I had to start thinking straight... the police had a job to do and I could see them hovering. For once, I was the victim. I had to admit it seemed strange to know I had to be a simple man, not Lucas North the man who could get a man to confess to anything... but what could I say? That some little jumped up Russian criminal had been hunting me down for the last 11 years, that I'd made a fatal mistake in trusting someone who'd given me intelligence and for the first time in my career I'd not noticed that it was just a little too perfect. Chloe had said she'd seen someone outside Aeryns playgroup that just didn't look right. I'd laughed... actually laughed at her. Saying who did look right around here? Why oh why had I not said something to Harry... or to Dimitri. Now, there was a man I'd never dreamed I'd be friends with, we were polar opposites and yet we became the best of friends after that minor problem involving a Russian strip joint and a night of too much vodka... less said, the better on that. The day Chloe and I asked him to be Aeryns God Father; he'd looked like we'd offered him his own weight in alcohol, or a date with Beth...
Back to the present Lucas, focus. I need to know what to do...
"Harry, there was too much damage for it to be a simple break in... and then there's Chloe. She must have been screaming, what about the neighbours? Why the Hell did no one call the police? The ambulance men said she'd been like that for about half an hour when they turned up and I'd been home about 10 minutes or so then! Someone must have seen him? Or know something... It HAS to have been Erik... but... why now? He's had years to do something. Why her? My very reason for being on this Earth."
I knew the answer to that question before Harry even opened his mouth, Chloe... and since her birth, my little Angel, were my weaknesses.
I'd sworn after Maya I'd never fall in love again. Never get close to anyone; it was easier to be alone. Chloe though, she had this way of working her way into my head, into my life... into my heart. We'd met at a bar when I was working some case involving some dodgy dealing Koreans, I wasn't supposed to be checking out the clientele, but there was this face in the crowd... a girl who stood out. She'd smiled and I swear my heart stopped. I'd never moved so fast to get bugs fitted to the man we'd been watching for over the last 12 months... I had to talk to the girl with the bluest eyes I'd ever seen, a girl who with one curious smile had woken something up in me I'd thought was dead. I found her, looking nervous and lost in amongst the many faceless people who frequented the bar. It felt like we talked all of the night, about everything and nothing at all, I remembered calling her gorgeous and the blush that crossed her face, it was so innocent, so pure. Something so rare to see in the world I lived in, I'd sworn to myself there and then that I'd protect this angel from everything if only to see that smile, the rose blush again. I left the bar two hours later with her number. Two hours, five minutes later, I called her. I'd missed her voice in such a short time, I had to hear her again, hear her say my name with the soft voice...
"Lucas..."
God the way she said it, like she'd been created to say my name, to be part of my life... I knew I sounded crazy, like one of those poets I'd laughed at for their pretty words and inability to just say things as they should be. I spent every second work would allow me with her, she was an addiction I couldn't live without and she'd said she felt the same way about me. We both felt that there was a reason we were there that night, there was a reason in amongst the hundreds of people we'd seen one another and we weren't going to argue with the why and the how of it all... we were simply going to carry on with what we were doing, loving one another. Within six months of being together I'd sold my flat, said goodbye to my past and we bought this house together. We'd created a home together. I'd never looked back since then. She made me whole...
"Beth and Tariq are working now... there is some evidence that it is to do with Erik, or at least he's organized something. As for why now? Well, you know as well as I do Lucas why. You fell in love, you had a daughter, and you know I adore both of those girls in our lives. I have been telling you every day for the last month to marry her. Yet... you and your stupid idea of perfection stopped you. Chloe would marry you in a second, I've never seen a woman so in love with anyone in my life. I know... losing Maya broke you, now don't even begin arguing with me Lucas..."
Harry was right of course, the day Maya died I gave up... took me 6 months of intensive counselling and pysch assessments to get me to the point where I could get out of bed, and a further 6 months to come back to work. I'd lost myself in every case working through the night so I didn't have to go home to an empty bed. I spent every night reliving that day, Maya lying in my arms after being shot, I must have been crazy to risk the woman I'd loved my entire life. Yet, crazily I'd pulled her into the car after she'd told me she didn't love me, I knew she was lying but why had I not just let her go? That was the one question I could never answer no matter how many sessions of therapy I went through, I simply didn't have the answer. Apart from one, I loved her... love is simply not enough though, not always.
Then there was that bloody roof top show down with Harry, looking back now after these years I know that I'd been suffering with PTSD after the 8 years in that jail in Russia. Why I hadn't been willing to accept help was beyond me now looking back. But, with Chloe in my life I was a different person, she'd given me the strength to accept I didn't have to be strong every minute of every day. Harrys face still haunted me though I'd never publicly admit it to anyone but him... the pain at what he deemed my betrayal. Took months of explaining that the whole story I'd told him that day was a lie... There was no John Bateman, he simply didn't exist. The counselors explained to me that I'd created this other identity albeit a bad one to simply explain away all the doubt, pain and confusion I was experiencing.
There was sadly, a casualty of that crazy day some kid who looked like me. I'd seen him a few times around where I lived. It was unnerving to say the least, there was a man who looked like me from about five years previously... I made a deal with him to pretend to run from that little cafe so I could just get away. I wanted out from the life I had, I wanted normality but what is normal? Even those faceless people who sit at home with their daytime TV and soaps surely want something different. So normality is change? I never imagined the poor bloke would get shot, Dimitri swore blind that he never fired the shot and I believed him. D, well he's a good one... He said he wanted to get me back and he did. Nights spent talking about everything made me see what a friend he could be. Anyway, that day... on that roof I panicked. of course I did, I'd lost the woman I loved, I thought without a shadow of a doubt my career that I'd work damn hard for was gone too. I had nothing, nothing to live for. I did however, have the means to get out of this country, after all if you spend your entire career learning how to stop the scum of the Earth, you pick up a few things. Don't judge me, I'm not proud of what I did... but I had a chance and I took it. I'd found out where the poor blokes body was, and well... I took it. Not sure why at the time but something was going through my head. Maybe I was going to give him a chance to be the decent man Lucas North, whilst I rotted away as John bloody Bateman. Who knows? So, I was on that roof... I shivered as the memories of that day came rushing back. Why on earth am I reliving the worst day of my life?
Why are these thoughts going through my head... oh because they fade into nothing in comparison to the pain I'm in now. I had Harry at gunpoint, Harry of all people. I admit; I came close to shooting him, but what would that have achieved? Harry maybe naive at times but he's a good man and this world, God, this world needs more good men in it. So, it was him or me, and in that second I had some clarity. I was a good man too, I'd risked my life for Queen and Country every day for the last God knows how many years... I'd risked everything I was; I had and could be for love. Jesus, when had I become such a romantic fool is beyond me! I didn't want to die, but I did want to get away. So I made the decision, I grabbed that poor blokes body and simply tipped him over that roof and I ran. I ran till my lungs were aching. I lasted two days before Harry called me.
"Lucas North, I don't know what the Hell you were doing or thinking but right about now... we have a big problem thanks to you now listen..."
I'd never heard Harry sound so calm, so cold. I had known it'd take a short time before it became clear that body wasn't mine. I'd made it out of the country and across the world though. Yet, with one call... I felt myself drawn back. Harry has that way with him, he calls and you come. I'd been gone about an hour after that bloody disaster and I knew I'd made a stupid mistake that I needed help, guidance... I needed my life back. So I listened.
"I know you're there Lucas, I also know exactly where you are... getting careless in your old age aren't you? Using your own credit card to book the room rather than cash or was that point? You knew Tariq would be watching your every move... Now, I've sent someone out to bring you home and you ARE coming home. We've got a mess to sort out and you're at the centre of it. Not surprisingly. Now pack and get ready. You have an hour."
I came back... and the interrogation went on and one. Then the counseling, the many many talks over a bottle of whiskey in Harry's office trying and failing to explain what was going on in my head. Till it finally all made sense. Till I looked in the mirror and saw Lucas North staring back at me, I'd say smiling but that would be a lie.
Back to the here and now, I didn't want to be here... I was pacing the waiting room; any fool who looked my way was shot down with one look. I'm not a patient man, I wanted to be out there inflicting pain on that piece of vermin who'd scared my baby girl, who'd hurt my blue eyed angel. I knew I couldn't leave her... I had to wait but Goddamn it, this waiting was torture. My mobile rang loudly... I saw the receptionist glare at me, bloody mistake there love. My mobile never goes off when I'm away from my girls... it was Dimitri. Oh God, what now? I couldn't take much more...
"I have a little girl who won't settle for her Uncle D, she's crying for her Daddy... give me a hand mate, sing that sheep song to her then I can get some work done?"
I would have laughed at the desperation in Dimitris' voice if it had been any other time. Aeryn stays there once a week so Chloe and I can reconnect whether it's a movie, out dancing or just curled up together watching TV, and every time she goes, my mobile goes off at 7 at night. What can I say; Aeryn is a Daddys girl and needs me to sing her to sleep. Only man she'll ever love apart from her Uncles, D, Tariq and Harry if I have my way, I pity any boy who wants to date her... I plan on ensuring we're all together that night. He'll be scared to death before he leaves the house I tell you that. So... here I am, in a waiting room full of people and I had to sing to my little girl. I didn't care how I looked, or sounded...
"Baby, Daddy's here... calm down Princess your Uncle D needs you to rest"
I could hear my little girl's tiny voice over the phone, babbling and it was like music to my ears, her tears had stopped within seconds of me talking.
"That's my girl... now Daddy is going to sing you the song and then I'm going to go and see if I can get my Princess the biggest bear I can, would my girl like that?"
I knew she wouldn't reply but I didn't care... I needed my baby to be happy whilst my heart broke for her Mummy.
"Are you ready little one... here we go. Bah, Bah a black Sheep, Have you any Wool? Yes merry have I, Three Bags full, one for my master, one for my Dame, one for the little Boy that lives down the lane..."
Three more times I sang that song till Dimitri told me she was asleep in the crib. Poor bloke, how he ever managed to explain the crib to anyone who visited was beyond me... but I knew that Aeryn was idolized by every man who worked at MI5. Girl had the best protection in the country, and yet, we'd failed both Chloe and her...
The tears fell again as I watched the minutes tick by...
Three hours and forty seven minutes I had a crowd or people around me who had the same look as me. Fear.
Beth and Tariq had called Harry, they'd found out very quickly that it was Erik and it appeared he'd been watching Chloe for months. I screamed when I heard that. Beth had found him in some flat in Hackney; he was now locked up in an interrogation room. God I hope he was scared. Bastard bloody would be if he met me. Ruth was busy questioning him from what I could tell. Now... the four of us were waiting for a Doctor to bring us news, we'd already had that irritating blood nurse come over making eyes at me. Took all my strength and Harrys arm on my shoulder not to rip her apart. Like I'd look at some cheap tart when I had the best girl in the universe calling me her blue eyed boy? I'm 39 years of age, I'm also not soft... but when she calls me that, my heart skips a beat. Not that I'd ever tell anyone that...
I could see that brown wavy haired man approaching, his face serious and I felt sick... Beths gentle arm was around my shoulders in seconds and the air around us was thick.
"She'll be fine Lucas... she whispered softly Chloe is the strongest woman I know, Christ she gave birth to Aeryn on nothing but gas and air. I couldn't do that! She also willingly lives with you... makes her amazing in my book..."
I could see the small hopeful smile cross her face and at that moment I thanked the Gods that I'd finally accepted that the team of people I worked with could be the best friends I could ask for... He was getting closer, the man who held the fate of my life was getting closer, and my heart was sinking. Smile goddamn it man, give me a bloody sign. My girl, I need to know the truth I need to see my beautiful girl laugh and dance in the rain again. I need to stand at the Tower Bridge and tease her over loving chocolate ice cream more than me... I need... her.
"Mr North, could you come this way? I have news on Miss Morgan..."
No... oh God no. This can't be happening, the tone of his voice so somber, every thought every goddamn thought flew out my head apart from how I cope without her, how would I raise Aeryn, my princess who was the image of my girl... I couldn't. I maybe strong but I'm only that way because of her...
"Please, Mr North... if you could just come to my office we can talk?"
I could feel Beth and Tariq pulling me to my feet, steering me in the direction the Doctor was pointing. Could hear Harry muttering that they'd better be careful the mood I was in...
"Mr North, is my father... my name is Lucas. Please call me Lucas; I need to know now, was it quick? Did she ever wake up; did my girl suffer anymore than she had too? I don't want to go to your bloody office to be told she's gone, you can do that here."
The doctors face changed in a second, I think he breathed for the first time since coming towards me... us. His eyes changed to a lighter shade of green, he stood more relaxed. Every change I took in. Could I be wrong? Could my sweet girl be alive, oh please God let me be wrong.
"Mr. North, I take it these people are family?"
I nodded, after all they were the only people who came close to being my family apart from those two beautiful girls I called my life.
"Well, Mr. North, Lucas... Chloe was moved to ICU about 20 minutes ago. The surgery was a success but obviously she's still unconscious. I do not need to remind you that her injuries were serious and we did have to resuscitate her on the operating table. When she's fully recovered I would suggest she has an appointment made with our Cardiac department. Just to be certain all is well."
I couldn't believe it; my girl... my brave beautiful girl was alive. I fell to my knees, taking poor Beth with me, and we cried on that hospital floor holding one another... At that moment in time, the world could have ended and I wouldn't have known nor cared. My reason for living, for loving was sleeping in a room not too far away and I was going to see her.
I've been into ICU before; it's a cold harrowing place to be. People connected to tubes, beeps coming from various machines. It's never been an issue till now. Now, I had to see Chloe in one of those beds. My fault... all my bloody fault. That's never going to leave my head no matter how hard I try. I'd let her be unprotected all these months, let my little girl be unsafe when she was learning to crawl, to walk... to smile. The sickness returned and I felt the room spin. I had to be strong, this was still my Chloe. I took a deep breath and flung the door open to her private room. I wept as soon as I saw her. Not with pain but with joy, she was so beautiful in her sleep. So young, so perfect... and all mine. I crept close to the bed, and pulled a chair over to her, I needed to be as close as I could be to my angel.
"Chloe, angel... gorgeous girl, what were you doing home love? You should have been entertaining the tiny tots at that playgroup that costs me more that I earn in a year it feels like. Not that it matters, you say it's the best... so Aeryn goes there. Gave me a bloody heart attack baby, finding you like that. I'm never going to leave you again, I promise. If I have to quit my job, I'll do it in a heartbeat. I need you... I want to marry you baby. I want to call you Mrs. North and have many many babies with you. I'm not scared anymore. I want to live my life with you. First things first, you need to wake up as soon as you can; I need to see my blue eyed girl. I have something for you; cost me three months wages, so please like it. I'm not good at stuff like choosing rings, I'd put a jelly ring on your finger if I could. I just want to show the world you're mine. Please baby... I love you."
I know I was making crazy wishes, there was no way Chloe was going to wake just yet, the doctor had said as we walked it could be another day. Another long day, without her smile. I could dream though.
My head fell forward to rest on her hand and I breathed her in, my girl smelled of vanilla and sunshine even after all she'd been through. I was home. Wherever Chloe was, was home. I felt my eyes close; I knew Harry would call Dimitri to tell him that everything was going to be okay now. Poor D, I can only imagine the chaos Aeryn was causing to his place and knowing the soft heart he was towards her, his wallet. She probably owned half of Hamleys now, when I got there, I'd buy the other half. Sleep slowly claimed me, and I dreamt of our wedding, Aeryn walking before her Mother... my son would be in her arms. Yes, that would by happily ever after. I could see it clearly and I smiled in my sleep.
The following morning I woke to the sun shining and I hoped for a miracle, a sign that Chloe would be fine. She was still asleep, her thick hair falling around her face, took all my strength not to move to run my hands through it like I did every morning that I woke before her. It was how she liked to wake up... she said she felt like a Princess, I just wanted to touch her... She was so still lying in the crisp white sheets, not even her eyelashes seemed to move. The machines were keeping her heart and lungs going but I knew my gorgeous girl was there underneath it all, she was fighting back. She'd survived so much already, what were another few hours to her, to me. My phone rang and I jumped as the silence was broken... Dimitri. Of course it would be him, my Aeryn would be wondering where we were. Emma, my future Mother in Law, insisted I talked rubbish when I said Aeryn knew that once it hit 8am and Mummy and Daddy weren't there to get her something was wrong. What did the wicked witch of West London know?
Here we were at 10.30 in the morning and I knew D had to calm Aeryn down as we weren't there.
"Mate, please talk to her, she's had me up since the crack of dawn, I called Beth to help me but she just laughed at me..."
I felt bad for Dimitri, I'd only ever left Aeryn there longer that the magical 8am twice and it'd taken Chloe, D and I over an hour of pulling funny faces and singing to calm the Princess down. I crept out of Chloes room but only as far as the other side of the door, I couldn't be away from seeing her face, and wild horses would have to drag me away.
"Alright, put me on speaker phone so she can hear my voice..."
Christ she was screaming louder than I'd ever heard her before, I felt like the worst father in the world but I had to be here. I had to be here to watch over and protect Chloe.
"Princess, Aeryn, baby girl... Dada will be there very soon, now be a good girl for Uncle D, it's not his fault he doesn't know that when you cry you get the world."
I heard Dimitri laugh and say that yes, he did. That my daughter cost him more than any of the girls he dated...
"Mummy is still sleeping little one and Mummy needs her sleep right now, so she can take you to see the ducks. Would you like that little one? To have Mummy and Daddy take you to see the ducks... and Daddy will get you one if you're a good girl. I'd get you the world if I could baby girl. Now, Uncle D will sing to you I'm sure..."
I could hear her gurgling and the sound of something being eaten, a rusk no doubt. My daughter adored eating and I loved her chubby little cheeks when she giggled at me... Aeryn was going to be a heart breaker just like her Mother. Then Dimitri's voice came on the phone,
"…Aeryn's been amazing Lucas as always but you know the witching hour and she just knew you were late... Sorry mate, I didn't want to wake you or disturb Chlo'. How is she, any change?"
I felt my head shake in response as I stared at my sleeping girl...
"No Dimitri, nothing... she just looks like a doll and I... I feel so helpless. Erik, he should have come after me! Christ everyone else seems to, I swear my face is on wanted posters somewhere in every bloody country in the world."
It was true though, time after time I found myself being hunted down by someone who wanted me dead, Harry had joked I should take it as a compliment that I must be so good at my job... Now, now I'd gladly swop places with Chloe. Then again, she'd kill me for even thinking of leaving her and Aeryn alone. Dimitri laughed, but it was a hollow one, he knew as well as I did how true my words were. "Alright, Lucas... I'm going to go, Aeryn and I will have to venture into the grid, I bet you a night out after this entire nightmare is over that everyone stops working to play with your daughter."
I laughed... no way was I taking that bet. The last time Aeryn was there, work had stopped for an hour to watch her play peek-a-boo with everyone.
I called Harry whilst I remembered, the house it had to be sorted before Aeryn and Chloe came home. There was no way anyone was setting back in there for now. Of course, it was a crime scene though... this could take some time and I knew in reality we were going to be staying at some safe house. This nightmare was never going to end anytime soon. I came off the phone feeling a little relieved though, Harry would as always make it right.
"Lucas stop worrying, do your job and I'll do mine"
I knew he was right. Chloe was waiting for me and then... then I'd go see Erik; I needed a little chat with that man.
I sat, patiently talking to Chloe for what seemed hours as nurses and doctors came into see her, to check all the machines that were keeping my girl with me were doing everything they were supposed to do. I read the paper to her, though the words never registered in my head... I read it every article on every page and I couldn't tell you what had happened in the world. Her little hand was resting in mine, I idly stroked every finger on it her soft skin against mine.
My mind wandered away to a day two years ago. Chloe was working, on a photo shoot for some magazine... she's a freelance photographer, and a damn good one at that... Our house is full of photos she'd taken, either on the wall or in the boxes she'd meticulously put together cataloguing everything in our life. That day, I'd found myself with a free few hours and I'd walked down to watch her work, looked like I'd caught the end of the shoot and everyone was finishing up. She had the camera in her hand though, taking photos of the world around her, I thought she didn't know I was there till she turned around... and that camera was staring right at me. I laughed hearing her call for me to pose... and of course as always, I did as she asked. She stalked towards me taking photo after photo and I could see a look in her eye... damn my girl, I was in trouble.
Her arms were around me as soon as she was close enough to reach up for me, and I lifted her up holding her tight... those lips smiling at me begging me to kiss her. Who was I deny myself the joy of that? I'd be a fool. I kissed her softly, my hands lost in her hair... I'd missed her and it'd only been a morning. I looked over her shoulder and saw the place was quiet, no one but us. If she wanted to play, I'd play... I placed her gently on the ground and took the camera from her.
"Chlo' you're not the only one who can take a photograph you know"
I whispered, and I saw the look across her face.
"After all, you look almost sinful in that simple little outfit and I need to capture it to film, a man needs more than memories of the woman he loves..."
She stared at me, then the smile, the deadly smile crossed her face as she uttered the words that nearly brought me to my knees.
"Where would you like me?"
I'm a red blooded man, there was only place I wanted her and I grabbed her hand and ran to the car. We were going home. Now.
I smiled softly to myself at the memory of that afternoon... I got us home safely and before I could open the door, Chloe was pressed against me, her lips locked against mine. I struggled with the key and we fell through the door, laughing at how crazy we were being. I felt like a teenager, my heart was racing for the girl, the woman in front of me. My gorgeous girl looked like summer personified in her little white blouse and those cut off pants, so much skin on show... and I fully intended to kiss and touch every single part of it before the afternoon was through. She was whispering in my ear how much she loved me... needed me and I could feel what self control I had going as I picked her up and carried her upstairs. The laugh I'd been holding escaped as I remembered how we ended up in a tangled heap on the stairs, I tried I honestly tried to get up there till Chloe bit down softly on my collar bone and I was gone. Her eyes were dark looking up at me, that gorgeous hair of hers held up in a messy pony tail, well it was till I tugged and let it loose, my girl had the darkest richest hair and I loved nothing more than to run my hands through it. I could hear the soft contented mewls escaping her mouth as my hands ran under the shirt, feeling every curve that I knew off by heart. There wasn't a mark on her skin I didn't have etched in my memory.
"I love you Chloe, love you more than I ever dreamed I could... you complete me."
I tugged the oh so innocent blouse off her and took a deep breath as I took her in, a vision and she was all mine. Her little hands were pulling at the shirt buttons so I tore the damn thing off before bending down to run my lips softly, slowly down her collar bone my hands pulling her up to bring her close to me. I had to have her, had to make her cry out my name...
I found myself balancing carefully above my girl, as she giggled... now, normally I wouldn't find her laughing at this moment but damn we were making out on the damn stairs like a couple of kids. I was laughing to, then... then her hands were on me and I was growling out for her to never stop. I ran my tongue across her skin, breathing her in and feeling heart race. We were never going to make upstairs... not now. Hands were locked together, somewhere along the way our jeans had gone flung to somewhere beneath us. She was calling out my name as my hands ran over her body, stroking her arms, her back, her legs wrapped around my waist and then... then I was truly home. From the first moment I'd made love to Chloe I'd known she was the only one who could make me feel like this, and damn if it didn't get better every time... Chloe was moaning beneath me and it was like music to my ears, her body arching and moving with mine. The smell of her, the vanilla essence she wore seeming to become stronger, ingrained in my brain. The taste of her skin and I kissed, bit and ran my tongue over every part I could reach. Her hands were everywhere, running over my hot skin, her nails running down my spine urging me forward, harder deeper to take her over the edge. Then, I felt her... saw those beautiful blue eyes roll back and we were gone together. Crying out for one another... I fell forward, trying hard not to crush her as I wrapped my arms around her. Mine... My girl, always and forever I promised myself.
"Love you... love you so damn much Lucas, you're all I could ever want. Take me to bed and show me how much you love me by never leaving my side. Hold me in those arms and never let me go."
I did I was told to, I carried her in my arms to our bed and lowered her down, joining her and cradling her in my arms till my eyes closed.
I was dragged away from the memory by the most deafening noise and the realization that Chloe was pulling at my hands. Shit, she was awake... finally. My heart was in my mouth, and then I saw her pulling at the tubes, no matter how many times I spoke to her tried to calm her she wouldn't. The nurses were pushing me away and I could see her tiny hand reaching out for me. Goddamn it, could they not see that she needed, wanted me. They were doing their job but I could make it easier for them, so I fought back. My voice rose as I told them to let me through to calm her. This one, blond nurse must have seen my face and let me through to stand by Chloe whilst they held her hands still. She carried on fighting so I took her hands in both of mine...
"Chlo' baby girl, the nurse is going to take the pipe out but you need to stay calm, I know baby girl... I know you're scared but you trust me don't you. Now lie still and let the nurses do their job. Please baby girl?"
A tiny nod and she lay back, my eyes never left hers as they worked. I heard one of them calling for the Doctor to come now that Miss Morgan was awake. Soon maybe there would be answers... I wanted her home. I needed her with me soon. Within seconds of the pipes being out and a few initial tests on Chloe and I was lying my head next to hers and despite several warnings not to talk, the name that I knew would be her first word escaped...
"Aeryn."
Chloe didn't listen to me telling her that Aeryn was safe, that she'd saved our little girls life; I knew I had to call Dimitri; the only way Chloe would believe me was if she heard our little girl doing what she did best, being her. I prayed as I dialed the number that she wouldn't be asleep or even worse, crying. Dimitri answered on the first ring,
"Lucas mate, any news? Aeryn's being as good as gold I think Harry is teaching her about the fine art of something in his office. Haven't seen her for over an hour. Beth is worn out from singing that pat-a-cake song..."
I silenced him with two words...
"Chloe's awake."
I heard the chair fly back as he went into the office to tell Harry and then I heard her, my little girl cooing.
"Dimitri stick the phone on speaker, someone needs to hear her little girl..."
Chloe's face lit up as soon as I told Aeryn to say hello to her Mama and then that's all she did... for a full five minutes or more. My twelve month old daughter, the best medicine anyone could ask for, I swear I saw the colour return to Chloes face as she listened to what I can only imagine was Aeryn trying to have a conversation with Dimitri, Chlo' and I...
The doctor came shortly and told me that things were going well, and that I should go home and rest. I knew the police were guarding Chloe but I felt uneasy and I sure as Hell didn't want to go home. There was somewhere else I could go though. The grid. I'd have to calm myself before facing Erik, I'd been filled in briefly by Ruth when she'd called to check on Chloe and me... the cretin was refusing to say anything apart from the fact he wished he's finished the job. My blood boiled at the memory... had it only been a few hours ago? Felt like days since I'd promised to send her love to my Chloe. She was sleeping again, though thankfully with only a machine monitoring her pulse and something else, I'd switched off to the doctor, the moment he'd told me she would be fine. I believed him... my girl is a fighter. Tiny, perfect and has the heart of a lion... Even this wouldn't take her away from me.
Against my better judgment I went home... I needed to see if things were getting sorted. I dragged myself away and into the car. That journey dragged by as I felt my heart race and sink at the thought of what I would find, to say I was shocked was putting it mildly... I knew Harry said it was in hand, I didn't expect to see the place repainted, the broken furniture gone. Sitting on the couch though, was a little harrowing reminder the teddy bear, the heart lying next to it and a note. Beths hand, I recognized it straight away.
"Bring this with you when you come into work, I'll get it fixed. Don't ever tell anyone I can sew... every man in the grid will come running to me to fix their bloody buttons back on."
I laughed... She was right, we can save this country from God knows what but half us couldn't do the simplest things. I held that bear and sat down, holding it tight before I knew what was happening, I'd fallen asleep, exhaustion finally beating me.
The sun rising and filling the front room woke me and I realized my mistake, I should never have sat down, the panic set it, I'd left her alone. I'd left the love of my life alone. I couldn't find my phone, damn how could I have been so stupid? I tore the couch apart till I found my mobile, 12 missed calls and more texts than I could begin to read. Shit. I called Dimitri to be told that Aeryn was fast asleep after keeping him up half the night, tonight my little girl was coming home. I needed her near me if I couldn't have her mother. I called the hospital and spoke to the nurse; Chloe had had a good night, and was still sleeping. I made her promise to tell her I'd be there as soon as I could; every second away from her was too long. After changing my shirt I drove into work. Eriks luck was up, I wanted to see his face again and get some answers, and I knew I didn't have a hope in Hell of getting that interrogation room. Harry knew I'd kill him as soon as I saw him... or so I thought.
I walked onto the grid to be greeted to silence... Dimitri, with Aeryn in his arms, Tariq and Beth froze. I was at a loss; they knew I was coming in surely? I could see Harry in his office, if anyone could tell me what was going on, he would. As I headed towards his door, Beth stopped me.
"Don't, just don't. I've always tried to do what you told me to do without question, now it's your turn Lucas. Room three. Ruth is in there. No one has seen her for hours. He's still not talking, well not answering the questions she's asking if I'm being honest. Go get them. By any means, but of course I didn't say that did I Lucas?"
My eyes went wide... Beth in the time I'd known her was more likely to do exactly as she was told and to avoid this kind of thing and yet, here she was encouraging me to hurt that man. Well, I had plans for him that was sure...
Room three. A tiny little room we barely used... My curiosity rose. I could hear nothing, strange. At that moment I knew exactly what I was going to do. I opened the door and watched both people freeze, Ruth in relief and Erik, in shock. Oh, this was going to be so easy... He had no idea I was going to come in. I ground my teeth together as I stared at the man who had nearly taken my Chloe away from me, I could do this... One look at Ruth and I was ready. I spun the chair around and sat down, my eyes not leaving Eriks face. Time to speak a little of Erik's native tongue...
"Вы совершили ошибка Erik, вы потерпели неудачу. Она все еще жива, ее удары сердца более сильные каждая секунда которая идет мимо. И здесь вы, смотрящ на ваш кошмар." (You made a mistake Erik, you failed. She is still alive; her heart beats stronger every second that goes by. And here you are, facing your nightmare.)
Erik went white; I guess no one had mentioned that Chloe was alive... I leant forward slowly watching the fear cross his face. God, I loved this part of my job. I know, I should have been more interested and in defending Queen and Country, but to me... this, right now is what I loved. Seeing the realisation cross the face of the person across from me that they'd failed. It didn't happen enough, but this morning, it would time and time again. Erik had met his match once and for all; I'd waited 11 long years to look this man in the eyes... I wasn't going to rush myself.
Ruth hadn't moved, her back close to the wall, just watching me... watching Erik. She knew me well enough after all these years, a quiet Lucas is never a good thing to see. I waited to see if he'd look away, as he did I had my chance, I pulled the bastard over the table and pinned him against the wall. Ruth never moved, in fact she seemed very interested in a mark on the opposite wall... I thought how I was going to kill this man and slowly at that.
"You need to start talking now, before I rip your voice box apart... eleven years, Erik, and you choose now, choose to hurt her. What did you think would happen? Did you seriously think I would let you walk away from this with some small time served in a prison cell? I thought after spending all those years together, you'd learnt what I was capable of. I took more beatings that anyone else and yet, here I am. I have a girlfriend, a daughter... what do you have? Nothing but the knowledge that I will never, ever let you hurt anyone again."
My voice dropped to a deadly whisper as my face was millimetres from Erik's...
"Вы гуляете в умершие укомплектовываете личным составом ботинки…. вы как раз не знали его до теперь. (You are walking in a dead mans shoes... you just did not know it till now.)"
With that, I walked away, away from the poison that Erik was spreading through me by being near me, and back to the one thing that mattered, Aeryn. I had to hold my little girl in my arms; it felt a lifetime ago since we'd been together as a family.
Dmitri passed me Aeryn and I felt my heart sour, God there was nothing like feeling her in my arms, breathing in that smell of her shampoo and soap. A smell that was pure and simple, a smell that was my beautiful daughter. I looked at the time, and in shock realised I'd been at the grid for hours. I had something I needed to do... I was going to ask Chloe to marry me tonight. I'd spoken to the Doctor and he had told me Chloe was speaking, my beautiful girl... I had to go. I had to see her. I swore Aeryn knew that I was taking her to her Mama, for the first time in her life; she didn't fight me when I strapped her into car seat. Instead her beautiful blue eyes stared into mine, and she smiled.
"Yes baby girl, we're going to see Mama and she's going to be so pleased to see you... yes she is because you're the apple of Mummy and Daddys eye. Yes you are..."
I swear, she knew everything I was saying. I drove to the hospital with the yellow roses and the box on the passenger seat next to me. I was nervous, what if she said no, was I rushing things... I was going to change my mind until I looked into my mirror and there, was one of the reasons I wanted to make Chloe my wife, smiling back at me. Aeryn, her face glowing with happiness eating her tigger toy was laughing at me. I could do this. I could ask that simple question... I just prayed she'd say yes.
I parked the car in the hospital car park and got Aeryn out of her seat, gathered up the flowers and made sure the ring was safe in my jeans. I took a deep breath and made my way up to the ICU, where my Angel was going to be. There in her quiet room I saw her, her beautiful blue eyes watching everyone walk by, the smile that crossed her face could have lit up the entire of London when she saw Aeryn and me. I pushed the door open and deposited our wriggling daughter onto the bed, straight away she was off and up into her Mothers arms... and that gorgeous girl was held in mine. This was heaven, this right here with my girls so close to me was my own heaven. We talked about everything for over an hour and then she uttered the words she said so much, that I never tired of hearing...
"You're my life, my Lucas... you're my home, my heart my everything."
The time had come. I took Aeryn into my arms and kissed her before dropping to one knee at the side of the bed; I looked into my lovers eyes and smiled. The Princess cut diamond ring from Tiffany's resting in its powder blue box glinting in the afternoon sun... as I asked her softly,
"Chloe Ann Morgan, you are the breath that leaves my lungs, the reason my heart beats, the one person who sees me for who I am and never doubts me. You are the light to my dark, the sun in my sky. Please, my gorgeous girl will you be my wife?"
She froze and my heart stopped. Oh God, what had I done! I thought she would say yes... I panicked and rose to my feet dropping the box and taking her hand in mine.
"Chlo', baby girl have I made a mistake? I'm sorry, it's just the thought of not having you with me..."
Her fingers gently touched my lips as she spoke.
"Yes, Lucas, my love, my wonderful kind man... I'll marry you."
I cried as I slipped the ring onto her finger. Chloe, my dark haired angel was going to be my wife. Nothing else mattered anymore. My life was complete. I was finally at peace.