AN: Soooooooooo, this is my entry for this month's challenge and I hope you like it.
Fic: I Loved Her, But...
Entry for: Jello-Forever May Challenge
Prompt: Empty Promises
Characters: Sam Bosco, Teresa Lisbon, Patrick Jane and Amanda Bosco
POV: Sam Bosco
Disclaimer: I own nothing with the exception of any mistake you can find in this fic :P

I became a very different man since I met her.
That spark in her eyes when I introduced her to the ones I was working with, her beautiful smile that could lit an entire room…
I fell in love with her, and not just a little.
She made me a better man, changing me.
The petite dark haired woman strong enough to tackle a man twice her size and still being beautiful without even trying…
I loved when she greeted me every morning with her smile and light hearted humour.
Eventually, and though it didn't take much time, we ended up in bed together.
Professional at work, passionate in the bedroom…
There was only one problem…
I loved her, but I was married.

San Francisco was not a peaceful place to live in, ten years ago.
Prostitution, drugs, corruption… You name it. If it was bad, the city had it.
Sometimes it seemed like all the bad guys had ended up there, but our unit was quite good and we actually brought almost 75% of the criminals to justice.
One of our cases, of course, ended up being her career maker.
A pedophile named William Mcteer was under investigation and she did an amazing job, arresting him, becoming known as Saint Teresa.
The press loved that nickname and it stuck pretty well in the station, because we actually thought it fit her.
One week after that case she met me at the hotel where we used to spend our nights together, and she told me that Virgil Minelli, Director of the CBI, had called her and invited her to join the Bureau.
That was a hell of an opportunity.
She would lead her own team, being a Senior Agent in charge in the Serious Crimes Unit only at the age of 29.
I almost told her what I felt, but after an awkward moment, we hugged, shook hands and she left.
I committed a huge mistake letting her go. I loved her, yes, but I was married.

One Saturday morning, 10 years later, I got a call from Minelli, saying that he needed help with Red John's case.
After a very brief meeting on that same afternoon, he told me that Teresa and a consultant named Jane or something, were in too deep with the serial killer, and if I took the job, the case would be in my hands.
After hearing his proposition I didn't even hesitated saying yes, longing to see her, to be with her again…
Boy, I was in for some surprise…
My wife, although reluctantly, agreed to move in to California, so off we went.
I got in the CBI HQ on a Tuesday morning, drinking my coffee and trying to make my nerves disappear at the thought of meeting her again.
I saw her and my heart skipped a beat. She had changed. I knew she had become a hell of an agent, but something in her eyes had changed.
She was talking to some blond guy dressed in a three piece suit… Heck, they weren't talking, you can call it bickering, and her eyes held that beautiful spark I'd always loved.
He said something and she smiled… The smile that had been made for my eyes only.
I couldn't believe it. She was supposed to be mine. I loved her, but I was married.

Jane made me angry.
The man was impossible. I heard some rumours about him being annoying, but I didn't believed it at the time, but now?
Hell, the man could annoy a fly into biting its own wings, and Jane would succeed.
But I had to admit that it gave me immense pleasure seeing him almost to the point of begging me to let him take a look at Red John's files.
He had to learn not to play with other people's lives, especially, her life. Jane was off-limits, he was a nut case, an accident waiting to happen and he would only make her lose her job, if not her life, if he continued to act like that.
I certainly wouldn't let that happen.
I loved her, but I was still married.

The son of a bitch knew it… He knew that I loved her and that was dangerous.
After I left her office when he barged in with some doughnuts, I went to my office and no more than 5 minutes later, he entered it, staring at me.
He had the audacity to threaten me if I did anything to hurt her, when he was the one who was always messing up.
He didn't know her like I did anyways.
He was the one who hurt her, only caring about himself and being blind to see that her job, career and life were at stake.
I went home after turning my back to him and leaving the HQ.
Mandy talked my ear off about her day at the spa while I thought about Teresa. My gaze fell on my wife and I realised that she wasn't appealing to me anymore, even though when we went to bed, we had sex.
She fell asleep and I was wide awake still thinking about Teresa.
I loved her, but I was married.

I was lying in that damn hospital bed with her by my side, holding my hand. If I was about to die, this was the right time to tell her the whole truth about my feelings.
"I love you Teresa".
My marriage with Mandy had always been filled with empty promises of love and trust and I was tired.
A lone tear fell and she whispered the reply to my confession…
"I know Sam, but you're married".
After that, she squeezed my hand and left to meet Jane in the hallway.
Holding hands, off they went and that was the last time I saw her, because in that same night, I died.
I still love her, but now I'm not married…
I'm dead.