I've never actually written a fanfic about D-Gray man before, but I really liked the character Miranda for some obscure reason. I don't know if this counts as a fanfic, since it's just sort of a re write of part of chapter twenty three, where Miranda decides to save Allen. And it's also just a oneshot. I don't know why but I wanted to write this part though. So… Enjoy! :) Oh, and spoilers for book three, though I highly doubt that anyone who hasn't read that far would be reading fan fictions by now. First person, Miranda's POV. I'm not used to first person, so please don't kill me.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, or else I would have given myself Allen's beautiful white hair. :drools:





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I don't think I've ever experienced so much pain before. It's burning, piercing, singing inside me, like some sort of demon possessing my veins. It's not like I've never experienced pain before; it was agony for me to even get up in the morning every October ninth, but that was merely spiritual.

I had not truly known suffering until now.

"N… No… Help me…" I whimper, the salty taste of tears and blood on my lips. I can't feel my hands and wrists anymore. It's as if they have been severed from me without my knowing. But I don't really care anymore, after all, what's the loss of my hands compared to the fact that I'm about to die?

I can see her, the little girl, sitting on the chair lazily as an inhuman smile crawls its way up her face. She raises one hand, finger pointed up like a general waiting for the chance to order an attack.

"I think I'll 'release' you now." She giggles, mocking me. Then she swings her arm down to point at me, sending the magically floating daggers, disguised as candles, hurling towards my unprotected frame.

At least I assumed I was unprotected.

I cower against my clock, unable to call up the courage to even wail. But instead of being pierced by the millions of projectiles I feel something bigger hit me, not even hard enough to knock me over.

There was a cacophony of impacts, and a sick shredding sound akin to meat in a blender, then deathly silence. I turn with a gasp to see Allen leaning over me, blood covering nearly all of him.

I realize with a sense of dread what he had done. I could see his large weapon of an arm curving around me protectively, red streams running down the fingers and hand. He's breathing raggedly in my ear, and I try to say something, but all that comes out is the breathless exclamation of his name. Even after what had just happened to him he finds enough strength to reach up and wrench the spikes out of my hands, and I scuttle away the best I can, uttering animal sounds of fear and pain. But Allen doesn't move, just slumps there, his arm back to normal, and his head hanging as he sways on his knees.

"Allen…? P… Please don't die…" I plead, shuddering, and wondering why the girl wasn't doing anything to us as we sat their helplessly. "Allen, please don't die…" My guilt was heavy, and it stuck in my throat like so much useless matter.

But Allen turns his head to slowly look at me, his dull pale eyes heavy and blurred with pain. He smiles and barely manages to choke out "I'm… Okay…"

And then something inside me snaps.

What sort of ugly person am I? That I would just watch him die because I was too much of a coward?

I'm not even aware that I am moving until I'm hugging his shoulders close to me. He slumps against my chest, unable to support himself any longer.

"What, woman?" the child asks, curious. "What do you think you're doing?"

I laugh humorlessly, quivering with suppressed horror. "Really… What am I doing…?" I ask out loud "But… But…"

One of the monsters makes a sound of outrage. "What can a mere human do?!"

"But…"

But…

The reason why I'm useless.

I suppose I should have seen this coming. I mean, really, what would someone as miserable as me do in this situation? Probably make the stupidest mistake possible.

I try even though I know I can't do anything right.

Was I trying to convince myself that somehow this would make me worthy of his attention? Of his kindness?

Even when I said I wouldn't try anymore I kept on trying anyway.

Stupid, ugly Miranda. You'll just get fired again wont you?

If I know I can't do anything right… I shouldn't even bother in the first place.

I'm so stupid…

Tick

But I won't make that mistake this time. I can't afford to

And then suddenly my vision is nothing but light. Blinding me, burning me, cleansing me, and lifting a weight off my shoulders like all the fatigue in the world.

Huh? I think, what is it? I feel something's presence.

But I guess I knew all along.

The clock…

It sat there beside me, serene and beautiful as it had been, sitting sadly in that shop. It had trusted me to take it, to give it a purpose. And now it was trusting me again, to use it as it was meant to be used.

"Innocence?" I breathe. My hair had fallen from its strict bun, and it whispered around my face carried by the power the clock was radiating.

No… It was me. The power was mine.

Tick

Tock

I will never be able to explain how I knew what to do, or even what I had actually done. All I knew was that there was no more pain.

Tick

Tock

"Miranda…" Allen whispers, awe in his hoarse voice. His head was laying in my lap, blood from his pierced eye beginning to soak into my dress.

But not for long.

Tick

Tock

All the pain, the hurt, the suffering that had been inflicted on him on my behalf. I wanted it gone. I wanted to wash it away, and leave him alive and whole. So that is what I did.

Allen's eyes flash open in shock, and he sits up, raising a hand to look at it in surprise. I jerk back in shock as well. Now that I could see just what I had done I could hardly believe it myself.

"A… Allen, you can move…?" I stutter, immensely relieved. He turns around to stare at me with a mix of awe and gratitude.

"Miranda…" He smiles "I get it… You were the accommodator after all." He clenches his left fist, determination making its way onto his face.

We both snap our heads up at the same time as we heard voices, and for the first time I realize we're being protected by a strange barrier. My barrier.

I suppose they're trying to get in, but Allen's having none of that. His arm shoots out of the barrier and immediately retracts, bringing with it the still form of Linali. He checks her vitals, mumbling and apparently thinking to himself.

"Allen, how is she…?" I ask nervously, afraid for her as much as I was for Allen. He turns to me and smiles again, a smile I feel unworthy of.

"Don't worry." He replies confidently "As long as she's inside this sphere…"

As we watch she stirs and the life flickers back into her eyes. I sag with more relief. Maybe we'll be alright after all.

"We were saved by Miranda's innocence." I hear Allen say, and somehow my mind goes blank.

"Eh? M… Me? How…??" I exclaim, truly surprised.

"The innocence you invoked sucked out the time when we were wounded." He explains gently, then adds "Thank you Miranda!"

Suddenly my heart feels too big for my chest, and it beats against my throat. I couldn't stop it when a tear slid helplessly down my face, dripping off my cheek. I didn't think I would ever feel so happy.

And then they were fighting again, stopping the monsters from hurting me, and attacking the girl named Road. I can't see them very well from inside the barrier, but I know that they are trying hard, and working for each other, and for myself.

Suddenly horror clenches at my heart, and I realize something. No matter how well they were now, if I let the innocence die away, they would return, to the broken, bloodied state that I never wanted to see again.

Thank you Miranda!

Even though sweat was now pouring off of me, and my breaths came out in short bursts of discomfort, I held the barrier, the power keeping them alive. I raised a hand to clutch the fabric of my breast. I would not give in. I would become worthy of his thanks, even if I had to die to do it. I was in so much pain I barely even noticed when one of the monsters came flying at me, stopped barely an inch away from the sphere by Linali.

I don't even know how much time passed, as I sat there, waiting. Then there was a shaky detonation, and the floor fell away from me, sending me down into a confusing spiral of darkness. My only comfort was that I could feel Linali's arms around me.

It wasn't long before we landed on something solid, but we didn't so much hit it as we suddenly found ourselves sitting on a wooden floor. I didn't have much in me to appreciate it though, and I lurched forward, gasping for air. I heard Linali ask worriedly what was wrong, but I couldn't answer.

I couldn't let them die.

"Stop the innocence!" I heard Allen plead "Your body can't sustain it invoked any longer."

I almost chuckle. "… I can't…" I wheeze, hugging my chest. "If I try stopping…" I choke out a sob "… The time it sucked out will return… You'll… Sustain those injuries again…" They're pouring now, those stupid tears. "I don't want that… It was the first time someone said thank you to me… It'll lose its meaning…"

How stupid I must look. How childish. But then I feel his hands on my shoulders, and he smiles sadly at me. I'll never know how he can smile so honestly at such a useless person.

"Stop the innocence." He says "You can stop it Miranda. We're here now thanks to you. That's more than enough. I can take my wounds. As long as I'm alive they'll heal." And now Linali is smiling too.

"He's right Miranda. Please stop it…"

I don't understand.

Oh I know now, that for some reason, they don't think I'm useless like everyone else. But I don't understand why.

Perhaps I was worthy all along. And even though I can barely believe it, their smiles widen.

Perhaps, someday, I can truly come to believe that I was not useless either.

Someday…

Dong…

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Oh my god the pure ANGST that woman can dish out in only ONE PARAGRAPH!

I don't really think she was OOC though, I mean, she was pretty close to suicide before Allen and Linali showed up. She gets better though, when she becomes an exorcist… Sort of…

I am sooo not used to writing in first person…. Or in this tense. I hope I didn't slip anywhere, tell me if I did. It probably suuuuucckks! :sob:

:) Oh well, if you did like it, review! If you didn't, review anyway and give me some constructive criticism!

And for God's sake, please don't bug me about the spellings of the names, I spell them the way I'm comfortable with: Allen, Linali, Miranda, Ravi, Crowley, Bookman, etc, etc… Don't like it, just imagine it's spelled the way you like. There are so many different translations I don't really think it matters.

So yeah, definite angst came out of my butt in this, and since it was from Miranda's POV there wasn't much action. And I was too lazy anyway. But someday you will be subjected to one of my action scenes! My friends say I'm good at writing them, but you'll have to decide that. :Coughegoboostcough: