School War II.
Bucky peered around the corner, crouching with surprising agility. He whipped his head back and forth, analysing the dangers. There was a sticky substance, covering the floor ahead. Threat Level 3.
The bin turned on it's side could possibly be a tripping hazard. Threat Level 5.
Bucky lifted a hand and prepared to wave his hand in an 'all clear' sign. Clearly he didn't need to as Peter strolled right by, whistling The Star-Spangled Banner with a smirk.
Bucky dropped a hand in dejected dismay.
"Peter." he hissed, aghast. "Be careful!"
"It's my school, Buck, everything's gonna be fine."
"Parker! Why aren't you in class?" Principal Morita stood in front of his office, lips pursed and eyebrows knitted.
Peter felt it grow colder as Bucky's shadow blocked the meager amount of sun straining through the window, as he loomed threateningly behind Peter until he stopped his analysis of the principal and looked at his shocked face.
"Jim!" Bucky looked delighted and began to strode towards Mr. Mortia with his arms outstretched. Did he expect Principal Mortia to run in his arms for a hug?
"Jimmy, old boy, how're you doing? Looking mighty young there now."
"Uh….uh I'm not my grandfather…"
Mr Mortia seemed very uncertain as though there was a homeless hobo edging towards him. He gave a nervous giggle and held out a hand to intercept the incoming hug.
Bucky froze, staring at the hand like a kicked puppy before shrugging and pumping it up and down with vigour. "Good to meet you, anyway!"
Mr Mortia grimaced and wiped a sweaty hand on his Walmart trousers. "Shall we, eh, take this to my office gentlemen?"
Bucky straightened up, resuming his Soldier persona and stalked to the office, embarrassed Peter in tow.
They entered the decorated office and settled into the severe-backed chairs in front of the principal's desk. An awkward silence permeated the air as Bucky craned his neck to look at Principal Mortia from different angles in avid fascination and Peter scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. Goddarnit he'd thought Tony was hard to take out in public.
"Great man, your grandfather, great man." Bucky reminisced aloud suddenly, making the other two males jump.
"Oh yes." Mr Mortia murmured uncomfortably. "I er-I have his pictures and...medals."
Bucky beamed as Mortia rifled through his desk and one-handedly shoved the wrinkled black and white photographs towards Bucky who examined them almost tearfully.
Peter slunk down even further in his seat, giving himself a double chin as he prayed for the floor to be consumed by a chem-lab disaster and take him with it.
Turns out the burning smell was not a chemistry accident but an actual building on actual fire two blocks down and that was the reason a red and blue god-like Captain America burst through the door, fully suited up.
He gave them both his disappointed-parent look and Peter cringed. Even Bucky looked a little cowed.
"Buck." He stared right through Bucky with the Justice and American-way stare and paused for unintentional dramatic effect. "We need to go."
"You look exactly like you do in the videos." Mr Mortia blurted and Steve paled.
"Oh God, I didn't think anyone had actually watched them." He muttered fretfully to himself, clearly as embarrassed as Peter felt, before ushering them both out of the door, hurriedly thanking a star-struck Principal Mortia.
"You become internet famous since we last talked, punk?" Bucky raised an eyebrow.
"S'nothing Bucky honestly, let's just go. We've got Doombots to beat on."
The sense of urgency he sped up with almost convinced Bucky to let it go. Unfortunately for Steve, he hadn't had an opportunity to embarrass Steve like this in about 70 years. He wasn't going to pass it up.
He slid a small square panel out of thin air and balanced it in his metal hand. "So this disc in the Mortia's office doesn't contain videos of you being a 'Good American Citizen'?"
"You can't just steal things, Buck you gotta-Hey Bucky, hey!" Steve holered after an excitable Bucky who chortled and ran ahead leaping off lockers and bouncing off walls in a way that made Peters inner Spiderman proud. Until he tore a set of lockers clean off one rusted wall and permanently dented another three, leaving a massive hand-shaped indent.
And if, when the battle was over, the weary Avengers traipsed back into the tower only to see Captain America PSA's on every screen in the place, well, at least Tony got a kick out of it.