He woke up on the sound of elena's screams in the next room for the third time that night , not that he wasn't at the mercy of hellish dreams himself . He was somewhat grateful to have her screams as a link to reality , no matter how wrong and morbid it sounded .
He heard Alaric's rushed steps , coming from the other side of the corridor, he must've came to calm elena down , someting only he can do .
Elena , Jeremy and Alaric moved to the salvatore boarding house after that catastrophic night , the night in which he lost his brother and his best friend lexi . It wasn't easy to pick himself together , this time he was totally broke , every piece of him was shattered . He tried his best not to give up on his humanity , not to give himself to the blood . The temptation was so strong but his will was stronger and he could only be thankful for caroline for being there for him in his darkest hours .
she lost her best friend too , bonnie who sacrifised herself to bring them all from the dead , and she mourned her sincerly , but her optimistic nature refused to let her give up on finding a clue , however small it was , to bring her friends back . Elena however , a year after that night , still didn't get over it or try to move on . She sleeps in damon's room , crying herself to sleep every night .her pain was so strong that she once turned her humanity off . It was alaric and Caroline who brought her back with much effort , he on the other hand remained a bystander , he didn't have the strength to watch her scream in agony while being tortured .
everyone in the mystic falls gang lost someone before that night , the night when the other side was destroyed and all supernatural creatures that were trapped there were sucked into oblivion , but then , at least they knew that their loved ones were there somewhere , that they still exisited and sometimes they even got the chance to see them . what truly pained him is that he didn't know where he brother was , is he in pain ? in hell ? is he in a better place ? does he even exist anymore ? he needed to know or he will definitly go nuts .
He snapped out of his daze , it became a habbit to him , to catch himself staring at a blank spot in the room thinking . He can't concentrate anymore , sometimes even stopping in the middle of sentence for no reason , his mind wasn't his anymore and nothing sheered him up , he wasn't exactly a raving sunshine one year ago , but there were some things that he enjoyed like music , watching sunrise, hanging out with Caroline , reading books and writing but that was before . now everything became dull and tasteless .
Elena finally calmed down and she seemed to be dozing off , the only sound he could hear was Alaric's soothing voice . Stefan knew that sleep wasn't an option anymore , so he got up from his bed and decided to take a shower to cool him off .
how did everything become so sad and overwhelmed with grief , what went wrong ? he thought as he put his head under the pouring water . when he first came to mystic falls everything was so full of life , his friends elena , caroline , bonnie , matt , tyler , jeremy ,all of them were young and having troubles but they were alive , and they had hope , they weren't stuck in this cruel supernatural world , they didn't experience so much death and loss . they grew stronger by time and became wiser but at the end of the day they're still just a bunch of teenagers and this time the combat was just surpassed their physical limits and knowledge , they were facing thousands years old immortals and travellers and witches when they should be busy studying or partying like the rest of teenagers .
he stepped out of the bathroom in a towel and put his cloths on . he went to the living room to take a drink , thinking it might calm his nerves . As he looked at the spot where his brother used to sit and drink sadness crept inside of him like rott . he remembered his brother's unnatural addiction to alcohol , his snarky remarks and his signature smirk . everything that used to annoy him about his brother became sacred , pure perfection . even after all the hurt he caused to him , he couldn't imagine a world without him . The emptiness he felt since his brother couldn't come back through bonnie was like a black hole sucking his insides , he wished he could take his brother's place . after all aside from caroline ,no one will miss him . he would do anything to go back in time and stop his brother from doing that reckless rescue mission but things weren't that easy .
He glanced at the ancient clock hanging on the wall fancing him , it was 5 am . sunslight started to illuminate the dark room giving a shadowy nature to the antique furniture and making him even more depressed . He remembered those sunrises he used to watch since he was a young boy , how much hope and warmth he felt back then , it used to represent a new beginning , a fresh start . Now it represents nothing , just the beginning of a new day in which he has to keep himself together , conquer blood lust , pretend that he's fine . He wished Caroline was here with him , she always brings light to her surrendings as if she was the sun itself , but he remembered that she wasn't in town . Unlike everyone in the gang Caroline refused to give up , she visited witches from all over the country looking for answers , it was futile but stefan didn't have the heart to tell her that she was clanging to false hope .
He didn't know how much time passed while he was staring at his empty glass , his mind wondering from a place to another , and none was a happy place . His phone rang startling him , his heart almost jumped out of his chest . He composed himself and looked at the screen to see who would call him at this time of the day . Caroline , of course , who else would it be . She didn't mind calling him at anytime of the day , sometimes even for the hell of it . He smiled to himself while picking up the phone , wondering what happined to the blond vampire so that she would call him so early .
"Hello Caroline " he said sheerfully trying not to sound so gloomy and tired
"Hello to you too sunshine , what's wrong with your voice ? did I wake you up ? " she replied , she was the only one who could tell whether he's fine or just pretending to be , after all their friendship was strong and they were almost inseparable . Hearing her voice made him realize how much he missed her and he wished he could grow wings and fly to wherever she was
"no I was awake " he said
"Elena woke up screaming again didn't she ? " Her sad tone betrayed the pain she felt . Elena was her friend since they were children and they went through alot together . after damon died caroline was the person who stood by elena's side when everyone were busy with their own grief . She took care of her when she lost her humanity for the second time and everything that came out of her mouth was as sharp as a blade and as toxic as poison . She saved her life when she tried to commit suicide and when she refused to drink blood . To see someone you love falling to pieces is the most painful thing you could experience and Caroline was determined to bring back the dead , so that her friends will be reunited and be happy again
"yes , thank god for Alaric , he calmed her down and she's sleeping know " stefan replied after a pause " so where are you now anyway ? are you still in new orleans ? " He asked , Althought Caroline was serious in her decision to never see klaus again , she had no choice but to seek his help to find something to resurrect their friends . She searched for an entire year but without a result , all of the witches she met said that their spells worked while the other side existed , to resurrect people from this unknown place beyond the other side needed a very strong and ancient spell , from the time before quetsiah created the other side . but then again no one knew whether this spell existed or not .
"no I'm in fell's church , it's a small town in Atlanta , I got here tonight and I'm staying in a motel " she said with a calm tone
"why ? didn't you find anything with klaus ?" he said feeling a bit disappointed , he didn't dare to hope but , klaus was the oldest supernatural creature alive and he had so much connections to witches . if anyone was going to help them it would definitly be him
" Actually it's quite the opposit , I came here because I found something " she said "The witch I met in new orleans said it's only a rumor but I decided check it out anyway "
here she was again , he thought , clanging to false hope
"she said there there's a coven of very powerful witches that live in fell's church , their strength comes from a grimoire they inherited generation after generation from their incestor ... "
"Caroline what does that has to do with anything " he interrupted "even bonnie had the bennett grimoire but it has nothing to help her resurrect people from whetever place they went to "
"you didn't let me finish stefan ,the rumor ...legend ...whatever said that this grimoire belongs to a witch older than silas and quetsiah themselves . remember this group of talented people that quetsiah told you about , the travellers ? he was the one who created it and when he died makus took the leadership , he wondered all over greece to gather knowledge and talented people and he trained them himself . if silas and quetsiah were so powerful imagine the strength of the man who taught them magic ." she was talking with such passion and determination only she can muster , but she still couldn't convince stefan
"all of this is nice and pretty , but you still don't know if this grimoire has the spell we need or if there is a spell in the first place " he hated being pessimistic but sometimes it's good to keep his feet on earth , at least he won't be disappointed when things doesn't go his way
"I won't waste any chance , no matter how tiny it is so save you breath , plus no one said that I can't ask " she sounded a bit angry and she made him feel guilty but he didn't want her to take the risk , not alone
"listen Caroline , I know you're a good person because I'm your friend , but to those witches you're just a vampire and they can take you down in a minute , or even kill you . witches hated vampires since forever and they have no reason to help you "
"I guess it's better to risk my wellbeing to find something helpful than to sit there staring at nothingness and wallowing in despair " she said with a harsh tone and he felt hurt , but he knew she was right , there was nothing to lose anyway
" okay I'll let you go to the witches , but I have one condition " he said with a calm voice
"I wasn't exactly asking for your permission stefan but what is your condition anyway " she was annoyed that's for sure but it didn't bother him , because he made his mind
"I will go with you "