A/N: Just a little one-shot with fem!America and England. Gen!flip and AU. Takes place timeline-wise after "Insane First Impressions" but before "No Accounting for Taste"... (Although it can be taken as a stand alone story).
Wasn't Me
Arthur often wondered why in the world he was so—intrigued? Was that the right word?—by her. She was absolutely everything that he should dislike. Loud, obnoxious, with a habit of sticking her nose into everyone else's business; she had horrible taste in food. She disliked tea; she made fun of his clothing and cooking and eyebrows.
And yet, he couldn't seem to stay away from her. He couldn't understand it. It was like there was something about her that just...fascinated him.
Besides, it wasn't like he'd be able to stay away from her even if he wanted to... For whatever reason, the girl had seemed to decide that her new purpose in life was to follow him around like some sort of hyperactive Labrador puppy. Getting in the way, making messes that he'd later have to clean up.
That was Al.
It was especially annoying, as she not only had this hyperactive attitude that positively killed his productivity, but she also had this incredible ability to choose the absolute worst possible times to bother him. Arthur would be in his office, working on paperwork for the student council that was due the next day, and she'd suddenly pop right in without knocking. Then, without asking if he was busy or anything, she'd plop right on top of his desk (and paperwork) and start complaining about Gillian or her teachers, or start begging him to go out to McDonald's with her after school.
And when he said that he was busy, she'd either start whining and telling him that he was always busy (not true) or ask if she could help. Which he had learned to turn down, as she always ended up just making even more work for him.
And yet, he still couldn't stay away from her... And he couldn't understand why.
"So, what are we looking for now?"
And he was suddenly startled out of his musings by the rather loud voice, reminding him of his current surroundings. And the person that he was currently sharing them with...
Ally was currently standing on the back of his shopping cart, leaning back and forth in an attempt to create enough momentum to cause it to roll without requiring the assistance of her feet.
Why in the world did he bring her with him again?
Probably because he'd managed to delude himself into thinking that she might be helpful for once. Since she was ridiculously strong for whatever reason... And he might need help carrying the bags. Not that he was weak or anything...
He sighed, as he glanced down at the shopping list he was currently holding, wrinkling his nose as he attempted to decipher his step-brother's handwriting. Why did Seamus feel the need to write down their grocery list? A one-armed monkey would have better handwriting than he did. "I think that we need to buy those crisps that Duncan likes..."
She leaned forward suddenly, managing to move the cart an incredible centimetre forward. "You mean chips."
Oh no, she was not going to start that argument again. (And he was not going to rise to the bait if she was; he was a mature adult...unlike someone he could mention.) "Ally..." he hissed in his most warning tone.
"Fine. Fine." She jumped off the cart at this, shaking her head slightly in an attempt to displace the fringe that had fallen over her eyes. "Jeez. I don't get why you're so determined to act so British-y all the time. You moved here when you were a little kid, right?"
They were in public; they were not going to engage in a petty argument while in the middle of a supermarket. Not after last time. He did not need to be banned from the supermarket.
So Arthur did the more mature thing. Meaning he stomped into the next aisle and cursed to himself in irritation. Earning a few glares from mothers with little children in the process.
Why why why did he bother bringing her with him?
"Artie~!" Especially when he knew that no matter what he did, he was never going to be able to escape from her.
He turned, just in time to see her swing into the aisle, still standing on the cart and pushing herself along with one foot like it was a scooter or something... And she almost smashed right into another lady's cart, earning a furious glare that she didn't even seem to notice.
"Artie~ Don't just leave me~ You're so touchy..."
"I am not being touchy, Allison. You're just being an idiot." At least he'd stomped his way into the right aisle. Now he just had to find the proper type of crisps...
And ignore the fact that Ally was rolling along beside him with her shopping cart, whining about how he was being touchy and it had been an innocent question and why was he so angry with her all the time?
He was doing a marvellous job, actually. Just ignore her and—there they were... Duncan's crisps. Duncan's pickle-flavoured crisps. Now, what he was always wondered was who in the world would think of creating pickle flavoured crisps? And who in the world would want to eat them? Besides his step-brother, but Arthur wouldn't put anything past him. Duncan liked haggis for God's sake...
"Artie~"
"Allison, I swear if you don't quit whining..."
And he suddenly felt a bump against his back at this. Which he responded to by whirling around, to see Ally pouting at him from where she was still standing on the cart. Which she pushed forward to bump into him again. "Artie~ quit calling me that. You know I don't like it."
"Well, I don't like being called Artie, so get over it." Now, what was next on the list?
He was pretty sure that it either said 'bread' or 'bird' and since he didn't think that Seamus wanted him to buy a bird... Although, then again, he wouldn't put it past him...
"But Artie's a cute nickname. Calling me Allison makes me feel like you're my mom getting mad at me for something."
"I sometimes feel like your mother. Now come on. We need to find the bread aisle."
Ally snorted at that and pointed back in the direction they'd just come from. "We passed it like at the very beginning."
...Damn his stupid brother... Step-brother. Couldn't even put the list in a reasonable order. "Okay, fine..." And now he started to move around the cart...
And suddenly found himself pressed back up against the shelf, crisp backs crackling behind him as a shopping cart dug harshly into his stomach...
And Ally grinned at him. In a way that sort of reminded him of Ivan, creepily enough...
"Uh uh! We aren't leaving 'til you promise to stop calling me Allison, Artie!"
"What the—" Oh, God. She couldn't be serious...
She just responded by grinning... And her smile stated quite plainly, 'oh yes, I am very serious'.
"Allison!"
"Al~"
"Bloody git..." Curse her and her freakish strength. He couldn't even begin to push back hard enough to wriggle free. "Fine, Al. Idiot."
She just giggled in response and immediately took a step backwards, finally letting him move. "See! Was that so hard, Artie?"
And he was not going to dignify that with a response. No. Because he was not going to start screaming at her. Because that would be ungentlemanly and he was not going to get banned from the supermarket...
Good. He was doing a wonderful job. Just control your temper and ignore the git.
Now... He moved away from her, taking a deep breath and counting to ten. Okay, now he just needed to go find the bread. Bread, then something that was either butter or paddle. And then tea...
Lovely lovely tea.
Ah, he really could use some tea right now. Marvellously hot tea with just a touch of milk... Mm, that sounded like it would be perfect right about now...
He could hear her following him again, humming some pop song under her breath that he was quite sure he'd heard on the radio more times than he'd care to remember. Ugh, give him punk music any day. Better than the trash that she listened to...
"Ooh! Artie!"
And suddenly he was left in the middle of the aisle. With a half-full shopping cart. Ally having run off without him...or the cart.
"Huh? Al! Where are you going?"
...Great. Arthur groaned as he stared in the direction she'd headed. Did she really have to run off like that? She was like a five-year-old in a candy store... A five-year-old in a candy store that had left him with the cart...
He sighed and moved behind it, pushing the cart out of the aisle... How in the world did Al manage tp push this thing so easily? Not that it was unbearably heavy, but she made it look like she was pushing air...
Where was she anyway? He glanced around, moving the cart out of the way of other patrons. "Al?"
Oh. And now he saw her. She was standing in front of a display of... He had to stand up on his tiptoes to see around some guy who'd decided to stop his cart right in his line of vision...Fourth of July decorations.
Of course. Why didn't that surprise him? The git was absolutely obsessed with the Fourth of July. Probably because it was the same day as her birthday...
Mental note to self: Wrap Al's birthday present tonight. She'd probably start scouring his house for it within the next few days...
"What are you doing, Al?" He pushed the shopping cart around the man—who was still standing in his way—and walked over to her.
And was immediately accosted by a little red, white, and blue object that she thrust right into his face. "Look, Artie!" He blinked once, able to focus after a moment on the object. Which happened to be a teddy bear. A red, white, and blue teddy bear. Which was holding an American flag in its paw... "Isn't it cute? And look..." She suddenly squeezed its other paw.
And it started rocking back and forth and singing...
"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord..."
Of course. Why wasn't he surprised? "Al, you can't be serious..."
"Aw, come on, Artie! You could be patriotic for once!" She suddenly pushed the bear into his arms and then turned back toward the display before he could protest. "Let's see... This one plays 'Yankee Doodle' and this one plays 'God Bless America'..."
He sighed as he stared down at the bear. What in the world did she want him to do with this thing? Buy it for her?
He supposed it was cute... And if she really wanted it... Although it would definitely be part of her birthday present, as he was not just going to buy a random present for her just because she happened to want it.
"We need to find the bread aisle, Al."
She just responded by glancing over her shoulder and sticking her tongue out at him before turning back and muttering, "Hmm, I wonder what'll happen if..."
And that should've been the first hint to turn and run...
Before he was suddenly greeted by a horrible cacophony of about ten different songs all playing at once... As Ally hurriedly pressed the paw of every single bear in the display...
And then grabbed the cart and ran off, laughing as she swerved into a random aisle. Leaving him behind to just stare in shock at all of the little dancing toys... Which were now singing a chorus of 'God Bless America as Yankee Doodle comes to town and the Saints go Marching In'...
...And now would probably be a good time to get out of here. As he was not going to get kicked out of the supermarket...
"Ally!"
"Can't catch me, Artie!"
Unless it was for strangling a certain obnoxious American in the meat aisle.
A/N: Ally and Artie are fun to write. Especially since Ally acts a lot like me when I'm in the supermarket with someone who's being boring. xD
All right, so I wrote this for my Prussia-chan, since she requested that I write her a US/UK fic in honour of the fourth of July. (And yeah, it isn't the fourth of July anymore; she only asked me at like 10, so I didn't have much time to finish it).
Anyway, not my best piece of work, but I think it's kind of cute. ;D Hope you like it, Prussia-chan.